Through Caverns Measureless to Man

by D G Rose

  Christabel held out her hands. “Things are different here. You know that. You know that. Time. Time is different here. But think about it. I’m Miranda. I always have been.”

  And I looked at her then, and I knew. She was Miranda, she always had been.

  Nobody could count them. Nobody. Nobody could count all the times I’d imagined this moment. The moment when I would finally, finally, be reunited with Miranda. But now here I was, face to face with my sister, mere inches from Miranda. I turned and I walked out.

  So Amy found me lying, not asleep, on our bed in our room. But a lot of time had passed. I imagined that Amy had returned to Christabel’s room, I refused to even think of her as Miranda, and found Christabel in a talkative mood. I could hear the mummers through the wall. And they’d talked and talked, as they always do. While I sat waiting in the dark. I was the injured party here! But Amy had to talk to Christabel first. So, when she came in, with a bowl of soup, I was in no mood for conversation.

  “Ain’t that a kick in the head?” She said, putting the bowl down on the floor by the bed.

  Suddenly, there came a banging on the wall between our room and Christabel’s and a raspy voice. “Dean Martin? Are you fucking kidding me? There will be no Dean Martin! But if there must be Dean Martin, it will be Volare!”

  I just grunted and picked up the soup bowl, still warm thanks to its clever covered design.

  “Of course it’s not a complete surprise.” Amy said. “I mean, right from the very start we knew Miranda was alive.”

  I slurped at the soup, which was very good.

  “I guess it’s going to take some time to process.” She sat down on the bed next to me and put her hand on my knee.

  I wanted to shrug it off. To hurt her back, to hurt her so that we could have some shared pain. But I didn’t. I’m not an idiot. Amy was, literally, the only good thing that has happened to me in my life. I wasn’t going to take any chances.

  I finished my soup and lay me back down. “I really just want to get some sleep.” I said, feigning exhaustion over my actual exhaustion. And we slept. My back against the wall and Amy’s back against my chest. It was something of a struggle to not be comforted by the closeness of her, but I managed it.

  In the morning, Christabel was already in the common room, waiting for us. She looked a little worse for the wear, but it was clear that she had suffered no grave injuries. I didn’t let my relief crowd out my anger.

  “Good morning.” Christabel said, as we took seats at the only table.

  “Good morning, Miranda.” Said Amy and I wished she hadn’t. Was it really necessary to use her name at that very moment?

  I grunted.

  For breakfast, we had steamed buns and accusations. Every time I looked over at Christabel, I caught her looking side-eyed at me. And every time she looked at me, she caught me doing the same. It seemed impossible that we could go on. What was the point? All this time, I’d been trying to get to Miranda. I didn’t care about Xanadu. And all this time I’d been with Miranda. What a joke! I’m sure, knowing Christabel, that she’d had many a chuckle at my expense. What an idiot I’d been! She’d been dropping me breadcrumbs and I’d been picking them up and eating them and wondering why I couldn’t find my way out of the forest!

  ‘First day on your new legs?’ She’d asked.

  ‘Pleh, pleh!’ she’d said.

  ‘Gee. That’s funny. That’s a thing that Miranda and I used to say!’ I’d said, like a dolt!

  ‘Oh. Well, you know, Miranda and I are just such good friends, such good friends, that I know every little thing about her. Every stupid little detail of her life. Nothing suspicious here at all!’

  Probably Amy had known all along too. I mean they were always talking, always chatting. And they’d been alone together all across the Sunless Sea. Christabel had just about admitted that she’d been waiting for me to figure it out. Poor dumb Nicky, can’t even recognize his own sister. Well, it’s been thirty-one fucking years! And you’re still a fucking teenager! So, yeah. I guess I’m the idiot. All the smart people understand about the whole ‘time works different here’ thing. Well, not me!

  Amy pushed her plate away and stood up. “Well, I guess we’d better get going.”

  My own plate held shreds of steamed bun sufficient to reconstruct a whole bun if entropy could be reversed. “Get going where?” I asked.

  Amy said, “Well, we’ve still got a quest to finish and a god to reclaim. I’d like to go back to the river shrine and take another look around. Unless anybody has a better idea.”

  Nobody had a better idea.

  We trudged over to the river shrine. Well, I trudged, Amy and Christabel skipped and chatted along, as if lies and betrayal shouldn’t be allowed to dampen a sunny morning.

  We arrived at the river bank to find a young boy cleaning up the shrine, sweeping the area around the shrine clean of fallen leaves and other debris that might offend the sensibilities of the Glittering Phoenix.

  “Good morning!” The boy greeted us. “Have you come to make an offering to the Glittering Phoenix?”

  Amy bent slightly to bring her face closer to the boy’s. “No. We didn’t bring an offering, but we did come to see the shrine.”

  The boy gave a big smile. “I’m Shui! From the Fong family of Quest Valley. I’m the boy who fell into the river and was saved by the Glittering Phoenix!” Then less happy. “My mother makes me come here every morning before school to clean up. She says it’s my obligation from now on, since I would be dead without the Glittering Phoenix’s inter… inter… intervention.”

  Amy smiled back at the boy. “Nice to meet you, Shui. The river certainly is dangerous. Our friend here also fell in the river yesterday.” She indicated Christabel.

  “Did the Glittering Phoenix save you too?” The boy asked.

  “I wish!” Christabel said. “I had to settle for Nicky.” She added with a nod in my direction.

  Man! I am never saving her life again!

  Amy turned back to the boy. “Well, I hope that you are staying well away from the river bank, now that you know how dangerous it is.”

  The boy nodded. “Oh, I’ve never been allowed near the bank! The day that I fell into the river, I was at least as far from the bank as we are now. I just tripped and then I slid along the grass until I fell into the river.” Then the boy kicked at the grass. “Of course, my mother doesn’t believe that. She says that it’s impossible to slide that far on the grass, even if it’s wet.”

  I looked around. We were a good twenty-five to thirty feet from the river. It would be a hell of a slide. Still, I suppose if you were a kid and you were intentionally sliding in the grass, like to see who could slide the furthest or something, you might be able to do it. With a running start. Also, the kid was probably lying.

  “Well, I believe you.” Amy said, giving him a conspiratorial wink. Damn! I wish I could get that winking thing down! “Do you mind if we look around a bit?”

  The kid shook his head. “No. The Glittering Phoenix shrine is open to everyone.”

  So, Amy looked around. Like back at the iron pagoda, she opened jars, shook boxes, checked out the quality of the offerings. She opened one of the ceramic jars and held it out to me. I gave it a sniff. It was full of wine.

  I looked around too. Except I had no idea what I was looking for. It all just looked like normal stuff. Food, wine, some bolts of fabric, even a nice pair of slippers. But none of it held any special meaning for me.

  In light of yesterday’s events, we decided not to get a closer look at the river. The boy finished his caretaking work and picked up his stack of books. “Before you go.” Amy stopped him. “Can you tell me the name of your family’s god?”

  A guilty look flashed on his face. “Topaz Dragon.” He replied. “But he’s not too happy with me. Not since I started spending mornings here. Of course, I’m not too happy with him either. He was supposed to watch out for me. Glittering
Phoenix saved me when our own god failed.” Then the boy lowered his voice. “At least that’s what my mother says.” Then he slung his books on his back and took off down the road.

  “What’s next, oh fearless leader?” Christabel asked Amy with a mock salute. Everything she does is mocking. Why can’t Amy see that?

  Amy shrugged. I hate that Amy is picking up these personality ticks from Christabel! “The Fong family of Quest Valley, of course.”

  It was clear even from the outside that the Fong family of Quest Valley was wealthier than the Ma family from the same valley. Not that the house was larger, just better kept. A servant opened the gate and asked our business. I said nothing since I wasn’t sure what our business was.

  “We’ve just come from visiting the shrine to Glittering Phoenix, down by the river, and we understand that it was built by the Fong family.” Amy said. “We had the good fortune to meet Shui at the shrine and I wonder if we could speak with his mother.”

  The servant looked doubtful. “Please wait here. I’ll see if the mistress is available to receive you.” And he shut the gate back up.

  Mistress Fong served us green tea and small cakes. “I understand that you were down at the Glittering Phoenix shrine this morning while my son, Shui, was there. I hope that he was well behaved.”

  “Oh, yes!” Said Amy. “He was taking care of the shrine and was very polite.” Then she added. “You have a charming son.”

  Mistress Fong lit up at hearing Amy praise Shui. I have to admit that Amy was much more diplomatic than I probably would have been.

  “Well, I’m very happy to hear that.” Began Mistress Fong. “However, I’m sure you didn’t come here just to tell me that my son is charming. So, how can I help you?”

  Amy leaned forward. “We wanted to ask you a few questions about the god. If that would be alright.”

  Mistress Fong nodded. “There isn’t much to tell. Glittering Phoenix was responsible for saving the life of my son. Building the shrine by the river was the least we could do.”

  Amy smiled. “I’m sorry. I meant we would like to ask you about Topaz Dragon, your family god.”

  Mistress Fong looked taken aback. “What would you like to know? Topaz Dragon has been our family god for centuries. He’s always been very responsible. It was a shock that he would let poor Shui fall into the river like that. It’s why we’re so grateful to Glittering Phoenix.”

  “I wonder.” Said Amy. “I wonder if we could talk to Topaz Dragon.”

  Now, Mistress Fong leaned forward. “Are you members of the Fong family? I don’t recognize you, but perhaps you are from the distaff branch.”

  “No.” Said Amy. “We’re not members of the Fong family. Is that a requirement to talk to Topaz Dragon.”

  Mistress Fong let out a small laugh. “Of course. We can’t have just anybody talking to our family god.” Then she added, icily. “We’re not the Ma family, after all.”

  Amy kept her calm. “Perhaps you could talk to Topaz Dragon on our behalf?”

  Now, Mistress Fong looked abashed. “I’m sorry. Topaz Dragon has been unresponsive since the day poor Shui fell into the river on his watch.” Then she stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I have work to attend to. Please help yourselves to more tea and cakes.”

  Nobody wanted more tea, but I pocketed a couple of cakes. What? I didn’t eat any breakfast!

  Outside the Fong home, I could see that Amy was frustrated.

  “So, that was a bust.” I said. “What next?” I didn’t mean to needle her, but I couldn’t help it. I know it was an asshole thing to say.

  Amy gave a big sigh. “Let’s go back to the inn. Unless you’d like to suggest anything, Miranda? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

  Christabel shook her head. “It’s your show, sister. I’m just along for the giggles.”

  We trudged back to the inn. Well, Amy and I trudged, and I was glad for the trudging company. Christabel seemed unflappably cheerful, and it pissed me off to no end.

  Back at the inn, the girl served us a nice lunch and some more of that good beer. Amy explained about our visit to the Fong family and about her interest in talking with Topaz Dragon.

  “Oh. Anybody can talk to Topaz Dragon, not just members of the Fong family.” The girl told us. “Of course,” she mused, “it’s not an easy thing.”

  “What’s involved?” Asked Amy.

  “Well.” Said the girl. “If you want to talk to Topaz Dragon and you’re not a member of the Fong family, which of course you’re not, then you’ll need to visit him where he lives.”

  “And where does he live?” I asked, just because I wondered if Amy was tired of doing all the talking.

  “Oh, it’s simple. He lives on top of the mountain just west of the village. You just climb the mountain, then solve the labyrinth, and you’ll find yourself right outside his home. I’ve never been and I don’t know anybody who’s ever been, so I don’t know if it’s guarded or anything, but I don’t know why it would be. After all, Topaz Dragon is a dragon, so it’s not like he needs protection.”

  After the girl had left us, Amy turned to Christabel and me. “See? I told you. Climb the mountain, solve the labyrinth, talk to the dragon. This is a classic fucking quest.”

  Christabel raised an eyebrow. “Yes. You're very smart.” Christabel’s voice was dripping with snark!

  Amy gave a little bow. “Thank you, Miranda. I feel smart!” She said, as if Christabel had been sincere! How was Amy missing this?!

  Christabel, apparently still not completely recovered, retired to her room, while Amy and I arranged supplies for the trip.

  “So.” Amy said, reclining on our bed after everything was arranged and a light dinner. “What’s the plan, Nicky?”

  I was confused. She was doing the planning. “Um. I guess we’ll climb the mountain and talk to the dragon.”

  “No.” Her frustration was evident. “I know about that plan. That’s my plan! What’s your plan? You know, going forward.”

  What I wanted to say was: My plan is to get back to our world, fix the roof in my house, sell that house, where I’ve been imprisoned for more than thirty years, move away, and have babies with you. Babies who would never know their aunt, Mirabel, because she lives in a dream.

  But, that probably would have made me seem crazy and clingy and like I was moving too fast. I was crazy and clingy and moving too fast, but I didn’t want to seem it.

  So, I said. “I don’t know. I don’t really think that I have a plan.”

  “So, you’re going to keep on like this?” She asked. “Not talking to Miranda, who is the whole reason we’re here? Not engaging in the quest, without which we can’t move on, or back I imagine?”

  “I’m engaged!” I objected.

  She shook her head. “No, you’re not. You’re so busy being angry at Miranda. It’s like if you say or do anything, you’re afraid that Miranda will take it as conversation, so you’re just checked out. You haven’t uttered two words since you found out who she is.”

  She reads me so well. I had been afraid that anything I said, even if it wasn’t directed at Miranda, would seem like I was making a move to open a connection.

  Amy put her hand on my hand and levered it up so that she could hook her thumb around my thumb. “I get it. I do. This whole thing is fucked up. I mean it’s been fucked up for a long long time. And yes, she lied to us. To me too. But on the scale of the whole thing. From zero fucked up to ten fucked up, her lying about being Christabel when she was really Miranda is nowhere near the top. So, if you’re going to be angry with her for the lying, well then, you were always going to be angry with her for something. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be angry with her. I’m just saying, nothing has really changed. We came here, well, partially to get away from the monster that tore that hole in your living room, but also to find out what happened to Miranda, to try to reclaim your sister. If you thought that you were just going to waltz into Xan
adu and fall into her arms and go on to be a happy family unit, well, you’re a bigger dreamer than the Mad Dreamer. It was always going to be hard. And it’s hard now. But you have to do something, talk to her, tell her how you feel, or you’ll never get past the hard part. You know what Winston Churchill says.” And she gave me a wink and a hug.

  I’ll never understand how Amy had such a raucous relationship with her old boyfriend (at least I hope he’s her old boyfriend). It must have been all his fault.

  I gave her thumb a squeeze. I could feel the tears gather at the corners of my eyes, the sobs gather at the root of my throat. I wanted to talk. I wanted to tell her how long and lonely my time has been. I wanted to tell her how seeing Mirabel, happy and healthy, and young, so young, was like an icicle in my heart. Cold and painful and jagged. But the words couldn’t come out and I was afraid that they never could. So the tears came out and I guess it would have to do.

  CHAPTER 26 - How I finally defeated the Green Knight.

  I woke early, not exactly eager to get on with the quest, but not exactly eager to drag it out any longer than necessary. Amy was still asleep and I nuzzled and kissed her neck, hoping to wake her and to have a few moments alone, not thinking about Mirabel or the quest or gods or anything except her. She woke and turned to face me and gave me the kiss that drove all other thoughts from my mind. Then, as the sun peeked into the room, I said, “Well, I guess we better get down to breakfast and get on the road.”

  Amy, sat up in bed and grabbed her stomach and doubled over with a slight retch. “Not today, I think. I’m not feeling so good. Maybe it was the fish.”

  I eyed her suspiciously. “We didn’t eat any fish.”