Bad Habits (Nashville Outlaws #1)

by Cheryl Douglas

  I tried to snatch the phone, but Dade was too quick. “This is your sister?”

  “Uh yeah, why?” He looked a little strange, like he’d just seen a ghost.

  “She was at one my concerts, I think.” He zoomed in on her face. “A couple of years ago.”

  “Yeah, she’s been to plenty of your shows with her girlfriends. But I can’t believe you remember her.”

  He swallowed the rest of his drink before passing the phone back to Knox. “That’s a face you don’t forget.”

  Knox grinned. “I told you. Right?”

  I glared at him. “Would you shut up? It’s bad enough you—”

  “Relax,” Knox teased, nudging me. “Dade needs a new assistant. Your sister is good at what she does. They’d be perfect for each other.”

  Dade frowned. “Uh, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, buddy. Cece’s probably right on this one.”

  I narrowed my eyes at my friend, wondering what was going through his mind. “Do you need an assistant?”

  “Uh, yeah, but…” He scraped a hand over his face, looking uncomfortable, which was so unlike Dade. I’d never met a man more comfortable in his own skin, except maybe Knox. “You know how sometimes you see someone, like across the room or whatever, and it’s like a gut-punch?”

  Uh oh. I didn’t like where this was going. “Uh huh. What are you saying? That’s how you felt when you saw my sister at one of your concerts?”

  Knox masked his laugh behind a cough when I glared at him.

  Dade seemed lost in his thoughts when he said, “I even had my stage manager go after her, but she was already gone.”

  “Hey,” Knox said, looking at me. “Why didn’t you get her backstage passes? Some sister you are.”

  I was the one who’d gotten her and her friends front row seats and that almost came back to bite me in the ass. “I couldn’t trust her,” I muttered, pointing at Dade. “Any more than I can trust you.”

  He closed his eyes before shaking his head. “You’re right not to trust me. My track record with women says it all.”

  Aw. Now I felt like a crappy friend. Dade was a great guy. He just sucked at relationships and so did my sister. I didn’t want them to hook-up only to watch it go up in flames.

  I grasped his wrist. “Come on, Dade. You just need a little break from relationships, that’s all. Take some time to get over that mess with Tonya.” The little bitch who drank too much and punctured holes in the condoms so she could trap Dade with a baby he didn’t want.

  He looked from me to Knox before he said, “I just wish I could have what you guys have, ya know? Someone’s who’s always there for me, loves the same things I do, and actually listens when I talk.” His gaze drifted down when he said, “Someone I can laugh with and…” He shook his head, sighing. “You know what? This is stupid. I don’t mean to bring you guys down.”

  “You’re not.” I had no idea he was feeling so low. Dade was always the life of the party and his failed relationships were usually a running joke, not a reason to get depressed. “Hey, I get it. I know it’s not easy to invest so much time in a relationship, only to realize it was time wasted. I hate that Leo—”

  “Ugh,” Knox said. “Please don’t mention his name.”

  The waitress returned with Knox’s drink and Dade ordered another.

  “I’m just saying, I know what he’s going through.”

  “No, you don’t.” Dade looked me in the eye. “Trust me, you don’t, Cec. I’m a freakin’ laughing stock on this business. Two failed marriages, a failed engagement, and I’m not even thirty-five.”

  The country music business was still pretty conservative. People divorced, for sure, but probably less than the national average. Knox was convinced it was because a lot of us grew up with the same morals and values, and we’d been taught marriage vows were sacred.

  “You’re not a laughing stock, honey.” Though I knew he’d been the butt of a lot of jokes, both online and inside the industry. Everyone respected Dade’s talent and accomplishments, but his taste in women… that was the punch line.

  Knox looked like he’d rather be anywhere else when I gave him ‘the look’ that let him know I expected him to chime in.

  “Uh, Cece’s right, man. We’ve all had shitty experiences with women. You can’t let it get you down.”

  I rolled my eyes. Knox’s idea of being a supportive friend was basically telling him to grow a pair.

  The waitress delivered the pizza and drinks, but as soon as she left, Dade threw a hundred down on the table and started to slide out of the booth. “You know what, guys? I’m not all that hungry anymore. Sorry. I’m just not gonna be great company tonight and I don’t wanna bring y’all down.”

  “You’re not bringing us down!” I reached across Knox for his hand. “Seriously, stay, please. We haven’t had a chance to catch up in so long. We won’t talk about relationships anymore tonight, I promise.” I sealed the invisible zipper closing my lips.

  He smiled before kissing the back of my hand. “I love you, Cec. You’re the best. But I’ve been a little messed up lately. I need to just figure some stuff out, on my own. Understand?”

  I wanted to remind him that we were his friends, and were here if he needed to talk, but he’d made it clear he didn’t. “I’ll call you next week, okay?” I was worried about him and didn’t want him to feel alone. I’d always had Knox when I needed someone to talk to. I got the feeling Dade was feeling really alone, and that wasn’t the case. He had an army of friends who loved him.

  “Yeah, sounds good. Thanks.”

  Knox stood, shaking his hand and pulling him into a half-hug. “Listen, you know I’m always here for you, man. You ever need to bend an ear, holler at me, okay?”

  “I will,” he said, slapping Knox on the back. “Thanks. I’ll catch you guys later.”

  I watched Dade try to leave the bar, but he’d been cornered by a group of pretty girls begging for selfies and asking him to sign body parts. Par for the course, for him, but I wanted to march over there and tell them to back the hell off and give the guy some space. He was only human and was clearly having a shitty day.

  “Can you believe that?” I whispered, trying to work up some enthusiasm for the pizza dominating our table. “He’s in a really bad place, Knox. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

  Knox apparently hadn’t lost his appetite because he was digging into the pizza like he hadn’t eaten in a week. Mr. Sensitive. The same guy who preached his friends were his family.

  I nudged him. “Are you listening to me, or are you just gonna sit there stuffing your face?”

  “I heard you,” he muttered, wiping his mouth with a paper napkin. “And I think you’re overreacting. Dade’s fine. He’ll bounce back just as soon as he meets another hot little honey to help him forget the last one.”

  Is that what Knox would do if I walked out of his life, look for the next hot little honey to replace me? “You think women are like tires, Knox? You can replace one with another, no big deal?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Did I say that? Quit being so sensitive.” He raised his hand to flag the waitress. “Hey hon, can I grab a Coors when you get a minute?”

  “Sure thing,” she said, smiling at him.

  “I should have ordered beer in the first place,” he said, reaching for another piece of pizza. “Beer and piz—”

  “Oh just shut up!”

  He reared back. “What the hell did I do?”

  I didn’t know why I was so mad at him. Maybe it was because he acted like he couldn’t relate to Dade. And maybe he couldn’t. He’d never been in love. Never had his heart broken. And that was crazy for a guy in his thirties, wasn’t it?

  “At least Dade cares enough to try. He puts himself out there, even if it doesn’t turn out the way—”

  “You can say that again, he puts himself out there. I don’t even know why he bothers. The guy could have any woman he wants. Hell, he could have half a dozen women at on
ce, if he wants. Why would he slip a ring on…” He stopped talking when he realized my jaw was hanging open. “What?”

  Could he really be so clueless? We’d just had sex. He told me loved me. Now he was acting like women were interchangeable. Playthings to be traded when he got bored. “Get up. I need to use the restroom.”

  “Ugh, don’t all pissy. I just—”

  “Get. Up.” I pushed against his shoulder. “I mean it. I have to go to the bathroom.” And remind myself why I put up with this dumbass.

  He shook his head as he slid out of the booth, looking disgusted. “You blow everything out of proportion.”

  I smiled sweetly and patted his cheek when I realized more than a few people were watching us, “Bite me.”

  Knox

  Cece thought she was punishing me by dancing with some loser who hit her up on her way back from the restroom. I didn’t give a shit who she danced with, I was busy responding to all the comments on social media about our concert. People said we’d killed it. That I’d never sounded better… or looked hotter. I smiled at those comments, cause I was a guy, and didn’t mind having my ego stroked every once in a while. Especially since the girl who’d been stroking me earlier was pissed at me.

  Cece. The little firecracker. I had to admit, I thought she was hot as hell when she got mad and told me off. Maybe tonight we’d have our first round of make-up sex. I’d definitely be down for that.

  I looked up just in time to see the douche she was dancing with try to kiss her. She reared back and shook her head while mouthing an apology.

  Yeah, that wasn’t happening. I jumped up and crossed the dance floor. It was like the parting of the frickin’ Red Sea as people made a path for me. Sometimes fame had its perks. “Time’s up, buddy,” I said, stepping up to the clown in the backwards ball cap and ripped jeans.

  He jerked a thumb towards me and said to Cece, “I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend.”

  I glared at her, challenging her to send me away. Even though she was mad at me, I knew she wouldn’t. She didn’t want to waste any more time with this dipshit when she could be wrapped up in my arms, getting lost in my kisses, remembering all the fun we’d had that afternoon.

  She sighed before stepping back. “It’s complicated,” she said, finally. “But, uh, I’d like to have a word with Knox, so if you don’t mind?”

  He licked his lips while eyeing her so long I wanted to punch him in the side of the head. “Come find me later, baby. Let me buy you a drink.”

  “Listen you little, puke,” I said, getting in his face. “I’ll be buying the lady’s drink and if you bother her again—”

  “Knox!” Cece stepped between us, planting her hand on my chest. “Are you crazy?” she whispered. “You can’t do this here.”

  I wasn’t thinking about where we were, or who might have their cell phone trained on me, I was just thinking about sending a clear message to the asshole who thought he had a shot with my girl.

  The bastard had the nerve to smirk at me as he slipped behind Cece.

  “Get back here and I’ll wipe the floor with you, you scrawny little—”

  “Ohmigod, stop!” Cece grabbed my chin, drawing my face down to hers. “You have to let it go. You’re making a scene.”

  I didn’t care about a scene. I’d made plenty of scenes over the years and wasn’t about to start giving two shits what people thought, regardless of the warnings from my manager and publicist to tone down my temper.

  She wrapped my arms around her waist. I had to admit, she was good at distracting me. Especially when she licked her lips and pressed that sweet little body of hers against mine.

  “You think dancin’ with a loser like that is going to make me jealous, Ce? You’ll have to try a little harder next time.”

  She laughed, throwing her head back. “You’re so jealous your eyes are green.”

  I sneered. “Whatever.” She wasn’t wrong. I knew that guy didn’t stand a chance with her, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to teach him a lesson for trying. “So, what’s got you in such a mood?” I leaned in, whispering in her ear, “Great sex is supposed to relax you, not make you more uptight. Unless you need another round to help you chill, in which case, I’m definitely your guy.”

  Her lips twitched but she wouldn’t reward me with a smile. “You’re my guy, huh?”

  I wanted to tell her I was, in every way, which was crazy since I didn’t do commitment. Ever. With anyone. I never disrespected women. My mama raised me better than that. But a life on the road didn’t lend itself to fidelity and I wasn’t a cheater. Of course having my woman on the road with me would negate my concern about abstinence, so there was that.

  “You want me to be?” I tipped my head, studying her. She wasn’t the type to make demands on a guy, never had, and I knew I’d be no different. In fact, she’d probably be more reserved with me, because of our friendship.

  “What I want,” she said, smiling. “Is pizza. Though it’s probably cold by now.”

  “You’re avoiding the question.” Which shouldn’t piss me off, but it did. Cece was trying not to pressure me, I thought, but maybe she was the one who wasn’t ready for coupledom. “Why?”

  She sighed, her gaze dipping to my chest. “Look Knox, this is all happening so fast. I just need a minute to catch my breath.”

  “It’s happening fast?” I repeated, dumbstruck. “Really? ‘Cause we’ve known each other for years. Hell, no one knows me better than you do and I know that goes both ways.”

  “True,” she said, biting her lip. “But this is new.” Her cheeks colored before she whispered, “I slept with someone else not more than a minute ago. And I don’t do shit like that, Knox. I don’t see two guys at the same time and—”

  “You’re not seein’ two guys at the same time.” We needed to get that clear. As far as I was concerned, Auden had been out of the running since I found paradise in her sweet little body. “You’re seein’ me now. Period.”

  Her jaw dropped before she said, “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah.” I let that sink in before I said, “This is us, Cec. We have a lot of history. Too much to be friends with benefits, or some stupid shit like that. If we’re in, we need to be all in.” When a look of confusion crossed her beautiful face, I added, “Or out. Your choice.” I had no intention of letting her go that easily, but I needed to give her a choice.

  She closed her eyes. “I need time with this. Time to figure out what the hell we’re doing.” She shook her head. “To be honest, I can’t even believe we’re considering this. This is crazy, isn’t it?” When I didn’t respond, her eyes filled with tears and she whispered, “You’re my best friend. I can’t lose you.”

  She slayed me, every damn time she looked at me with tears in those emerald eyes. I curled my hands around her face and brushed her lips with mine. “You’re never gonna lose me, sweetness. I’m serious. Not gonna happen.” Even though losing our friendship had been the very reason I held back. I’d be an idiot if I didn’t have reservations about this, but putting her mind at ease was my job. If I couldn’t, this relationship didn’t stand a chance.

  “How do you know that?” She curled her hands around my biceps. “You don’t know what might happen. Look at how things turned out with Leo. I never saw that coming.”

  Hearing her compare me to that asshat felt like a dropkick to the gut, but I couldn’t blame her for being concerned. I’d acquired a lot of bad habits over the years and many of them included the opposite sex. This wasn’t just a girl who’d read or heard stories about me. Cece had seen it all with her own eyes. Heard the stories from my own mouth. What I wouldn’t give to hit the rewind button and erase every stupid thing I’d ever done from her memory.

  “I’d never cheat on you.” I could promise her that. No woman could ever tempt me to break my word to Cece. I had too much love and respect for her to trade that for some cheap one-night stand with a pretty face. “You know that, right?
”

  Indecision was etched on her beautiful face and I realized she didn’t know that. She couldn’t trust that I wouldn’t cheat on her. Damn. That stung. But it was my own damn fault. Years of being carefree and indiscriminate had finally caught up with me. And I was paying the ultimate price.

  “Okay, I see how it is.”

  “No, you don’t.” She palmed my cheek, forcing me to look her in the eye. “I know you as well as you know me. We know each other’s dirty little secrets. All of them. You can’t deny that complicates things. We’re not two people just getting to know each other, sharing whatever we want to, so the other person will see us in the best possible light.”

  She was painfully right. “I know.”

  I touched my forehead to hers, wishing like hell this didn’t have to be so problematic. If it was any other girl and I felt like this, I’d take her back to my tour bus tonight, make love to her, wake up with her in my arms and invite her to hit the next city with me. But this was Cece. My back-up singer. A part of my crew, who was adored and respected by every other member of my road family. If word got out that we were a couple, it would make things weird for everyone. There would be questions and speculation. Talking behind our backs and assumptions that Cece was just another fling for me, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

  “Then you know why we need to take this slow, Knox.” She rested her hands on my jaw. “Like baby steps. The sex was amazing, no doubt. But even great sex isn’t worth jeopardizing what we have.”

  “You really think I’d be willin’ to risk us for sex?” Us represented my lifeline, my sometimes tenuous grip on sanity in a business that was as crazy as it was exhilarating. “You should know better than that.”

  She nodded slowly. “I do. But I think we’re both just too caught up in the fantasy to think straight right now. We had a great time together. Scratched a long-standing itch, so to speak.” She smiled. “And I’m really glad we did. But that doesn’t mean we can rush into this, full-steam ahead, and announce to the world that we’re a couple. That would be crazy.”