Bad Habits (Nashville Outlaws #1)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “Auden,” I said, clearing my throat. “No hard feelings.” I couldn’t hate him, as much as I might hate what happened between them. “You’re a talented musician and an asset to this tour.”

  His smile spread slowly as he extended his hand. “I appreciate that, man. Thanks.”

  I gripped his hand, while keeping the other hand firmly planted on Cece’s hip. I couldn’t stop touching her and didn’t want to. I didn’t care who saw us and started talking. I’d gladly tell anyone who asked how I felt about her.

  “Um, there was something I wanted to talk to you about,” Auden said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was talking to Dade when he came to the show the other night and he asked whether I might be interested in doing a few shows with him on this tour, you know, as a special guest.”

  “Is that right?” I wasn’t surprised, Dade told me countless times how talented he thought the kid was. “I’ve got no problem with that. Dade’s a good friend and a hell of a musician. Playing a few shows with him could only help your career.”

  “That’s what I was thinking too,” he said, stroking the stubble on his chin. “Obviously we have a contract and all—”

  “No worries. I can call in a few favours, get some friends who aren’t on the road right now to come out and do a few shows with me.”

  “Seriously?” he asked, wide-eyed. “You’d do that?”

  I shrugged, thinking it was easy to be magnanimous now that he was no longer a threat. “Sure, why not?”

  “Thanks, Knox.” He grinned. “I appreciate you being so cool about this. Well, I guess I better catch up with my band. See you guys later.”

  Cece turned in my arms, looking amused. “You wouldn’t be trying to get rid of him, would you?”

  “No need now,” I said, locking my arms around her waist. “He knows the deal. He’s not gonna try steppin’ on my toes again.”

  She rolled her eyes as she tipped her head back to meet my gaze. “You’re being ridiculous.” She glanced over my shoulder to make sure no one was within earshot before she whispered, “You’ve kind of ruined me for all other men.”

  I grinned before pulling her in close. “Only kind of? Guess I’ll have to work a little harder tonight.”

  “What are you doing?” she asked, when I tucked my hands into the back pockets of her denim shorts. “Don’t you think we’re getting a little too cozy for—”

  “Seriously, Cece? Do you care?” I sure as hell didn’t.

  “Yeah, I do.” She sighed as her eyes met mine. “Please try to understand. It’s not that I’m ashamed of what we’re doing. I’m not. I just don’t wanna become a hashtag. When we’re onstage I want the only thing on people’s mind to be your talent. But if we went public right now, on this tour, people would be so focused on us that the music would lose the spotlight, and that’s not right.”

  She had a point, but hiding my feelings for her was becoming more difficult by the day. “So this isn’t just about the crew?”

  She pushed her hair out of her face when a mass of curls fell over her forehead as she dipped her head. “It’s about everything, Knox. This is overwhelming. Being with you like this… I never expected that. I’m still trying to sort it all out, and I don’t need everyone up in our business right now. Okay?”

  I nodded, knowing her concerns were justified. Everyone would lump Cece in with all of my other meaningless flings and one-nighters when they found out, and I didn’t want her to hear rumours or stories that would test her faith in us. Again.

  “Come with me,” I whispered, gesturing to the dressing rooms down a narrow hallway. “I need to get you alone for a few minutes.” The more time we had together the more I wanted. Sex only ratcheted up my need for her instead of slaking it.

  “But don’t you want to eat before—”

  “I do,” I whispered in her ear. “But I don’t give a shit about food right now.”

  Her eyes widened before a pretty blush spread across her cheeks. “Oh, okay.”

  I grinned as I grabbed her hand and practically dragged her along the floor. No one gave us a second look. We were always together, always teasing, and wrapped up in each other. The only thing that would raise a few eyebrows would be a full-on tongue teasing contest in front of our crew. Short of that, our secret was safe.

  I hauled her into my dressing room and kicked the door shut before pressing her against it and turning the lock.

  “Hi,” she whispered, her eyes dimming as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

  I boosted her up so my hands were on her ass and her legs were curled around my waist. “Hey sexy.”

  I was kissing her everywhere, across her soft cheeks and jaw, the length of her neck, the creamy skin spilling out of her tied off button down shirt. And the more I tasted the more I wanted her. Her breathless little moans teamed with that hip rocking action was pushing me closer and closer to madness.

  “Can’t get enough of you.” I could barely get the words out with my mouth full of her. My weight secured her against the door as my fingers roughly worked the little buttons lining her shirt. I wanted to tear it off, watch the buttons scatter across the floor as I heard the satisfying sound of cotton shredding, but without a back-up shirt I couldn’t risk it.

  “Feeling’s mutual.” Her breathing was laboured as her little hands worked their way up under my t-shirt, dragging her nails over my abs, making every muscle in my body clench.

  “How did we ever…” She was on fire as my lips trailed over her neck, my scruff turning her fair skin pink. “Go so long without this?” Because this was quickly becoming my obsession and very best habit.

  “No idea.”

  She was practically panting by the time I pushed her shirt over her shoulders and exposed her pale pink bra. She was practically spilling out of it. A huge rack for a tiny girl and I sure as hell wasn’t complaining. Too much of her could never be a bad thing.

  “So hot,” I murmured, pressing the silver snap between her breasts to release her bra.

  I boosted her higher so her rosy nipples were right where I wanted them… aligned with my mouth. I circled one, then the other with my tongue, sucking them soft, until she threaded her hands through my hair, sighing on a moan.

  “God Knox…”

  I wanted to hear those whispered pleas and praise fall from those sweet lips every day and night for the rest of my life. Making music was my passion, but making Cece happy was my new obsession. And if this qualified as an addiction, I didn’t want treatment. I just wanted more.

  “Tell me, baby. Tell me what you need from me.” I wanted to hear her scream my name. Screw whoever was listening on the other side of the door. My girl’s pleasure took precedence over everything else.

  “You know what I need.” Her hands were fisted in my hair as I licked her breathless. “Jesus.” Her head turned from side to side as her heels dug into my back. “You’re driving me crazy.”

  I slowly set her down, smirking when I realized how wobbly her legs were as I reached for the button on her white jean skirt. “We don’t have a lot of time, sweetness. Gotta make the most of it.” Any second I expected a knock on the door letting us know we could come out and get the grub before it was gone. Little did they know I’d never starve with the tasty treats she offered up.

  “Yessss….” she breathed as I slid the skirt and panties down her thighs.

  “Kick them open for me,” I said, nudging her feet apart.

  The next few minutes were all about her. I’d get mine later. Hours on stage, fired up entertaining a crowd would be agonizing and thrilling because I’d have to wait, but for the first time ever, she would be my reward. Hours tangled up in my sheets, all alone, pleasuring each other until the sun rose and she insisted on sneaking out, to keep our secret.

  It would be hell, keeping this under wraps until she agreed to come clean, which probably wouldn’t be until the tour ended. The only thing that would get me through it… stolen moments like these.

  I e
ased down to my knees as she sucked in a breath, following my lead when I hooked her leg over my shoulder. Everything about her was addictive, including her essence. I’d always called her sweetness, but now the pet name had a whole new meaning.

  As I brushed and flicked her core, she trembled, digging her short nails into my scalp as she gasped and swayed, trying to maintain her footing. “I can’t. Oh God.”

  She was trying so hard to remain quiet, which only made me work harder to make her scream. I wanted her to let go, to finally dig deep and find the courage to give in to what she was feeling for me. Exposing it at the top of her lungs, in the most erotic and intimate way… with no room for doubt.

  “I can’t…”

  I probed deeper, toying with her as I explored, uncovering all of her secrets.

  She was torn between pushing and pulling, holding back and letting go. Still clutching me as she shuddered, trying so hard to resist the temptation to dig her heels in and shock our crew with her manic cries.

  “Yes, you can, sweetness. This is my show.”

  No one would dare give me grief about what happened behind closed doors on my own tour. Except maybe my band, but I’d make it clear Cece wasn’t some random hook-up, she was the real deal, and keeping their mouths shut was their best option.

  “Don’t think. Just feel, Ce.”

  I wanted her to surrender to me the way she never had with another man. To let me love her the way she’d always wanted. Physically and emotionally. To develop the kind of spiritual connection that could only be conveyed this way. Intimately.

  “No one else matters, baby. Just us. Relax. Let go for me.”

  Pleasuring her was the easy part. I already knew what she liked. Helping her break down that heavy-duty guard and stop worrying about what people thought, or getting hurt, would be the hard part.

  “Knox, I…”

  I felt her uncoil before the burst I’d been craving touched my lips. The jolt traveled from her, through me, driving me to press her hips into the door and continue pouring it on until she was gasping and pleading for a break.

  I slowly kissed my way up her body while she wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my neck.

  “I’ll never get used to that,” she said, shaking her head. “The way you destroy me.”

  I knew she meant it in the best possible way so I smiled, tipping her face up to meet mine. Our kiss was slow, ramping up when she rocked into me, reaching for my fly.

  “Later, sweetheart,” I said, ending the kiss to reach for her hands.

  “You’re not serious.” Her eyes widened as her gaze dropped below my waist. “Knox, there’s no way you’ll make it through the concert—”

  “I can and I will.” A quickie with my girl didn’t appeal to me when I could hold out for the full Cece experience. “I’m good, babe.” I chuckled at her look of doubt. “I’ll take a cold shower.”

  “But you made me feel so amazing.” Her eyes drifted closed as she leaned into me. “I want to do the same for you.”

  For the first time in my life I actually wished I could cancel a concert, disappointing forty thousand fans. That’s how crazy I was about this girl. “You will, gorgeous. After the show.” I held her face in my hands, kissing her. “Just come to my bus when the coast is clear. We’ll have all night.” When she raised her eyebrow, I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. “Fine, we’ll have at least half the night, before the girls notice you’re missing.”

  She laughed, patting my chest. “I feel like I’m back in high school, sneaking around behind my parent’s back.”

  I didn’t want to ask about all the horny little bastards she’d snuck out to meet in high school because as crazy as it sounded, I was jealous. Jealous of kids who were probably so anxious to get their rocks off they didn’t even make sure she got hers.

  “What?” she smiled, as though she could read my mind.

  “Your first was the dumbass in the band, huh?” I bent to pick up her skirt. “What the hell was his name again?”

  “James.” She rolled her tongue in her cheek. “Speaking of, you’re gonna meet him tonight.”

  “What?” I watched her refasten her bra before snagging her shirt off the ground. “Don’t tell me you still talk to him.” The guy her mother swore almost knocked her up in high school. He was the last person I wanted to meet.

  “We’re Facebook friends,” she said, laughing. “He messaged me and told me he was gonna be at the concert with some buddies tonight so I told him to come backstage. He’s a huge fan.”

  I rolled my tongue over my teeth as I cracked my knuckles. A nasty habit I’d developed as a teen when my fingers got stiff playing video games. “He is, huh?”

  She looked up from buttoning her shirt and said, “Give me a break, Knox. I told him to come to the show weeks ago, but you’re not jealous of my high school boyfriend, are you? That was years ago. We were both just kids then. He’s been married and divorced and has a couple of kids now.”

  I zeroed in on the divorced part, knowing if he was single he’d probably be angling for another shot with the girl who got away. “Why’d you break up with him anyhow? Too stupid? Couldn’t get it up?” Like that was ever a problem for a teenage boy. “Better offer?”

  “Just outgrew the relationship,” she said, patting my cheek. “We had nothing in common, really, except music, friends, and sex.”

  I growled, pulling her back against my chest when she turned her back on me. “I don’t care if you were just a kid then. I don’t wanna think about you having sex with anyone else.” This was new for me, the jealousy thing, and I couldn’t pretend to like it, but it was obviously going to be par for the course with Cece. I was in love with her and that meant I didn’t want anyone else to have her. Not this year, last year or fifteen years ago.

  “You’re too much.” She kissed my cheek. “This from the same guy who should probably have his junk bronzed, for all the action it’s seen.”

  “Hey.” I grabbed her hand, jerking her around to face me. “Don’t joke about shit like that. I haven’t slept around that much.” She raised an eyebrow, reminding me how well she knew me and my history. A past that I was beginning to resent, because it was getting in the way of my future with Cece. “Listen, I know it seems like there have been a lot of girls over the years, but I haven’t slept with all of them. Some were just…” I shrugged, knowing there was no delicate way to tell her it had been a one-way exchange.

  “I don’t need to know.” She patted my chest. “I know who you are. I know what you are. And I knew that before this thing between us started,” she said, gesturing from me back to her. “So no harm, no foul.”

  I gripped her shoulders. “What the hell does that mean?” If she thought I wasn’t taking this seriously because every other woman in my life had been a meaningless diversion, she was dead wrong. And I thought she knew that.

  She shrugged me off. “It just means that we’re good. We don’t need to dwell on your past, or mine. We’ve both had other lovers. Plenty of them, in your case. End of story.”

  She made it seem like she didn’t care and that didn’t sit well with me. Because I cared. A lot. Maybe too damn much.

  “You can’t pretend you don’t get jealous.” I tugged her hand when she reached for the doorknob. “I saw the way you reacted to the pic of me with that blogger.”

  The color rose in her cheeks before she said, “I don’t get jealous about shit that happened years ago. Or even months ago. That doesn’t mean I’m not gonna call you out for things that are happening now.”

  “There’s nothing happening now.” I kissed the inside of her wrist. “Except what’s happening with you.” I brushed her palm over the scruff on my jaw, closing my eyes. “This is all I want. Just you. No one else, baby.”

  She leaned in, whispering in my ear, “I hope you’ll still be saying that six months from now, Knox. For your sake and mine.”

  Chapter 14

  Cece

  The
parting shot in his dressing room wasn’t intended to hurt Knox. I was honestly terrified that six months could change everything. He thought he wanted me now, but what if he got bored? What if he realized fidelity wasn’t his thing? It could happen. He’d never been in a real relationship before, so how would either of us know whether he was cut out for it until time put it to the test?

  Watching him strut across the stage after a full hour of working the crowd into a frenzy was hot as hell, especially since I was looking at him in a whole new light now. He wasn’t just my best friend anymore. He was my man. My lover. My… boyfriend? We’d talked about the exclusivity clause, but hadn’t labeled it. And I didn’t need to. For now I was just satisfied knowing he was mine, for as long as it lasted.

  I’d be lying if I said forever wasn’t dancing around in my head, but we had to take this thing one day at a time, and pray, that even if we couldn’t make it as a couple our friendship could still survive. Because without that, I didn’t know how I could go on working for him. Losing my best friend, my lover, and my livelihood? God, I really was putting everything on the line for this.

  I was so caught up in my own thoughts I didn’t even hear Knox say my name. He was asking me to step up and sing a duet with him. His original partner on the song was on a tour of her own, so they rarely had a chance to sing the song together, with the exception of awards shows. But he hadn’t given me a heads up about this tonight. I’d sang the song with him dozens of times before, but I didn’t know he’d ask me to do it tonight. And not when my brain was so scrambled.

  I smiled and waved to the crowd as I reached for the hand Knox offered as I stepped up to the second mic on the stage. I knew this song by heart. It was one of my favorites, but it was hard to be centre stage with the man when we shared an epic secret from everyone standing behind us. The people we considered our second family. The words to the song were intimate, about two lovers getting a second chance, and the song usually ended with a near kiss. I was afraid if we got that close tonight, in front of our friends and this crowd, everyone would see right through us.