All of You, Always

by Lindsay Harrel

  “Yes, from my family’s vineyard up the road.”

  “I’ll take a bottle of chardonnay, please.” Bella reached into her purse and pulled out some cash. “Actually, make it two.”

  “Great.” Heather nudged Mia off her lap and started packaging the first bottle. “How do you and Ben know each other? I’m his best friend’s little sister.”

  “Evan?”

  “No, Derek. He’s not in town right now.”

  “Oh, right. Ben’s mentioned him.” After their time together on Monday, Ben had told her so much more about his life than the guarded man she’d first met. Bella had tried to match his level of openness but had held back certain details so he wouldn’t discover the truth.

  Every time she’d avoided a topic, pain had gripped the back of her throat, and she’d felt like the biggest jerk in the world.

  It didn’t matter what she’d told herself when she’d first come to town. She knew without a doubt that withholding or skirting the truth was just as bad as lying.

  She handed Heather the money and took the bag with the wrapped bottles of wine. “Thank you.”

  “Of course.”

  Ben waved to his friend. “Tell your dad I say hello.”

  A shadow passed over Heather’s face as she nodded. “I will.”

  They turned and continued their way down the street. Ben tried to buy Bella some flowers from a man named Lee Rivas at the Fleur de Lee booth, but she shook her head. “Then I wouldn’t have a free hand to hold yours.”

  He conceded his defeat. But when he saw his cousin Shannon painting faces in the kids’ area, a wicked gleam appeared in his eyes. “I think you should get a mule painted on your face.”

  “A mule?”

  “Yeah, because you were so stubborn when we first met.”

  “Excuse me?” She stopped walking in the middle of the street. “I was stubborn? You were the one who would barely acknowledge my existence.”

  He grinned and pulled her close. “I had to protect myself.”

  “Because I was so vicious.” Then she made a face and arched back against his hold. “And wait, did you really just compare me to a mule?”

  “A really, really cute one.”

  A laugh burst from her lips, and she wiggled out of his hold. “You’re going to have to make up for that one later, bub.”

  He sidled up next to her and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I look forward to the challenge.”

  Bella pushed him away with a grin and strode toward Shannon, who was busy painting a little boy’s face. As they moved closer, she recognized Noah Robinson. His grandma stood off to one side fanning herself despite the gorgeous seventy-degree weather.

  All three looked their way as Bella and Ben approached.

  Shannon smiled. “How are you guys?”

  Noah’s eyes widened, and he leaped from the seat, running to Ben. He pulled on Ben’s shorts until Ben leaned down so Noah could whisper something in his ear.

  “Noah, don’t bother the nice man.” His grandmother stepped forward.

  “He’s not bothering me.” Ben straightened and patted Noah’s curls. “You did an excellent job on your mission, little man. Helped to save the world with your reading, in fact.”

  Noah’s small chest puffed. He turned and ran back to the seat next to Shannon, who resumed painting his face with tiger stripes.

  Mary shook her head. “That’s nice of you, but I’ve told him not to talk to strangers without asking first.”

  Strangers? Bella faced the older woman. “Mary, I’m Bella, and this is Ben. Remember? We visited you earlier this week.”

  Shannon’s chin jerked toward them, her paintbrush smearing black across a ribbon of orange on Noah’s cheek.

  Mary’s hands fluttered as she let loose a stilted laugh. “Oh yes. Of course. Nice to see you again.” She wandered to the booth next door to peruse some homemade candles.

  “Is it just me, or does it seem like she doesn’t remember us?” Bella kept her voice low so Mary wouldn’t hear but Shannon and Ben would.

  “I’m Noah’s preschool teacher, so I see more than most.” Shannon stroked Noah’s curls. He snuggled against her, smearing paint on her shirt, but Ben’s cousin didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. “Her memory is definitely getting worse.”

  And this was the person who held Bella’s fate—the fate of her relationship with Ben—in her hands.

  “Excuse me for a minute. I’ll be right back.” Bella shoved the bag of wine into Ben’s arms and hurried down a sidewalk that led to the beach. Standing on the edge of the boardwalk, she breathed in the fresh beach air, willing her heart rate to slow, trying to take in the inevitable news about Mary’s memory—and what it meant for Bella.

  “Bella, I’m glad I caught you.”

  Briefly closing her eyes, she tried to pretend she hadn’t heard Lisa Baker’s voice. But then the woman was standing beside her, and she couldn’t ignore it anymore. Pasting a smile on her face, she turned to greet Ben’s mom. “Hi, Lisa. How are you?”

  Today the woman looked effortless in a white sleeveless top that accentuated her toned, tan arms. Of the two siblings, Ashley most resembled their mother, but Bella could see Ben in his mom’s nose, lips, and chin. “I’m . . . good.”

  Bella tilted her head. “I sense a but.”

  Slowly, Lisa nodded. “It’s good to see Ben so happy. You bring that out in him. We’ve all noticed it. His burden was so heavy, his heart broken, before you came along.” Her sharp appraisal raked over Bella before she sighed. “I know it’s not my place at all, and he’d be unhappy with me if he knew I was talking to you, but as his mom, I worry. I don’t want him to get hurt again.”

  Oh, kill her now. “I don’t want that either.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.” Quick as lightning, Lisa grabbed Bella’s hand and clutched it to her chest. “I haven’t known you long, but I sense you’re a good person. Not malicious, so you’d never hurt him intentionally, not like Elena did. Still, if you have any doubts, then maybe . . . just consider what he’s been through.”

  Bella swallowed hard against her aching throat.

  “But”—Lisa smiled, her eyes radiating true sweetness—“if things work out between the two of you, I’ll welcome you with open arms into our family.”

  A hot tear trailed down Bella’s cheek. She swatted it away, but Lisa’s knowing gaze revealed she’d seen it.

  “Thank you.” Bella managed to croak the words out.

  “Well.” Lisa pulled her into a quick hug then backed up. “I’ve said my piece. I hope you enjoy the rest of the festival.” She turned on her heel and walked away.

  And Bella took off at a sprint down the beach.

  What was she doing, continuing this charade?

  Falling to her knees onto the warm sand, she fumbled to pull her phone from her purse and dialed Jessica. When she got her best friend’s voicemail, words just tumbled free. “Jess, it’s me. I . . . I don’t know what to do. I’ve been lying to Ben, and I think that maybe he’s someone I could love, but he doesn’t know who I am. And, Jess, other than a big fat liar, I don’t even know who I am, and I probably never will. Never. Help. Tell me what to do.”

  Then she dropped her phone, put her head in her hands, and allowed the tears to come.

  Chapter 10

  The decking was coming along. If only Ben could say the same for his relationship with Bella.

  “You and Bella seemed pretty cozy at the festival on Saturday.” Evan moved the ladder to the next rail post on the upper porch decking of the inn, while Ben snagged the drill from the ground.

  Ben climbed the tall ladder that Evan held steady, stopping when he reached the bottom of the second-story porch. “Were you there? I didn’t see you.” Aiming the tool at the wood, he drilled two clearance holes so he could reinforce the posts.

  After finishing the roof last week, he’d started repairing damaged floorboards on the decking and by tonight, Tuesday evening, he’d moved on to
fixing the wobbly posts. Next, he just needed to reseal and stain the deck, repair the broken staircase, and throw some paint on the walls. With the exception of the guest rooms in the north wing, he’d then be back in business.

  Or so he hoped. He still needed customers. But Bella was working on that.

  “I was helping in Chrissy’s store the whole time. She couldn’t get off the couch.” Evan’s voice drifted upward on the cool evening breeze. “Everyone kept stopping in to ask after her, so I didn’t even make it outside for some pie.”

  Setting the drill on the top of the ladder, Ben pulled a half-inch carriage bolt and hammer from his tool belt. “I heard she made a turn for the worst. I’m sorry. It must be rough to see her like that.”

  “Yeah.” The ragged word was tinged with grief.

  Ben tapped in the bolt, shimmed it, and installed a nut and washer. Then he repeated the action with the second hole, tightening the nut until the bolt head was flush against the post. He’d check everything with a level in a bit. Tools back in his belt and drill collected, Ben lowered himself to the ground.

  Evan leaned against the bottom post supporting the decking above, eyes staring in the distance. The sun had nearly met the horizon. Time to call it a day.

  “You want a Coke?”

  “Sure.”

  Ben walked toward the workshop on the north side of the inn where he kept his tools and a mini-fridge. He entered the dank space and put away his tools. Popping open the fridge, cold blasted his fingers as he grabbed two sodas.

  He returned to his friend and held out a Coke.

  “Thanks.” Taking the red can, Evan popped the top and took a swig.

  Ben did the same, the fizz of carbonation and the shot of sugar just what he needed at the end of another long day of physical labor. Turning, he took in the sight of his family’s inn, his legacy. Weeks of hard work had paid off. If he could get his finances in order, if Bella’s plan really worked, then maybe he could make his family proud.

  “Ben, you’re incredible and any family would be proud to claim you.” Bella’s life-giving words from that day more than a week ago in Heart’s Cove drifted back to him. She’d been so confident, not a flicker of doubt.

  He’d liked how he looked in her eyes.

  And yet . . .

  “So, you and Bella are getting pretty serious, then?”

  Ben turned to find his friend’s eyes on him as Evan sipped from his can. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  He’d thought so but something had happened at the festival. He’d attributed it to their meet up with Mary Robinson. The news that Mary might never remember Bella’s parents had upset her. Bella had even run off for a good half hour in the middle of their date.

  But on Sunday, she’d stayed in her room all day claiming a headache. Had even begged off Baker family dinner, which she’d agreed to attend. He’d skipped too, taking the opportunity to work on the inn again.

  But even yesterday and today, she’d hardly been around. He missed her.

  He and Evan walked to the gate separating the inn from the beach. Ben popped it open and walked through, his gaze raking over the waves far below. “I think she may be avoiding me.” Continuing their jaunt, they sauntered toward a bluff to the left. Here the wind was stronger, cooling the sweat clinging to his body.

  “Why would she do that, man?”

  “Not sure. I thought we were good. Really good.” He drained the rest of his Coke. The dregs bit into his tongue. “Maybe this is just how she gets when she’s focused, though. She’s helping me with my business plan.”

  Evan was quiet for a bit. “Or maybe she’s preparing to leave.”

  “She hasn’t mentioned that.”

  “Come on, dude. She doesn’t live here. She has a life in the city. And she was never planning to stay past a few weeks, right?” His buddy frowned. “Have you talked about what happens when she goes home? LA isn’t that far, but long distance is rough. Or so I hear.”

  Ben’s jaw tensed, and he moved his gaze toward the long waving grass overtaking the bluff. “No, we haven’t. It’s all so new.”

  “And you want to be careful after Elena. I get that.”

  “She’s different than Elena.”

  “Are you sure?” At Ben’s quick head swivel, Evan held up his hands in defense. “Hey, man, I like her. She seems great. But what if she’s avoiding you because she’s hiding something? I mean, do you know that much about her?”

  Ben’s fingers pressed into the aluminum can. First Dad, now Evan. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

  “Because we care.”

  Striding to the edge of the cliff, Ben allowed the ocean’s roar to fill the void of peace left by Evan’s question. “I may not know her favorite color or her favorite food or even her middle name. But we’ve talked about deeper stuff. The details that matter. Isn’t that more important?”

  “Sure. As long as you think you can trust her.”

  “Of course I can.” He trusted the way she’d looked when she’d talked about her mom, the hurts she’d endured, the reasons she wanted so desperately to find her dad.

  You trusted Elena too.

  No. Elena had been a liar who had fooled him from the beginning. She’d used Ben for her own benefit, and when she’d gotten what she wanted from him, she had spit him out.

  Maybe she’d been planning to leave all along.

  Knowing Bella as he did now, Ben couldn’t believe he’d ever seen any resemblance between the two women.

  “I’m not sure what is going on with her.” Wind whipped Ben’s cheeks, stinging them with its intensity. “Maybe she’s distracted by the search for her dad. Maybe she’s trying to figure out what’s happening between us. But do I believe she’s hiding something? No way.”

  She can’t be. I’d see it.

  The ocean receded, its silence deafening his ears.

  “I’m sorry, Bella.” Bud Travis scratched his ear as he picked up a can of green beans. “I’ve been racking my brain but just can’t think of any more leads.”

  “Oh.” Bella tilted her head down and frowned.

  A few scuffs marked the concrete floors of the modern Hardings Market, where she’d followed Bud after spotting him from her seat at the Frosted Cake’s back window. Shannon and Ashley had understood when she’d left halfway through dinner to chase him down.

  She’d never be that rude on a regular basis, but ever since she’d encountered Mary Robinson and Lisa Baker, she’d been trying to get in touch with Bud. According to Carlotta Jenkins—the woman had proven useful after all—he’d been out of town visiting his son and grandkids, and he rarely answered his cell phone.

  The man ran his finger along the top of the green can decorated with dancing vegetables. “I’ll keep thinking, but no one I’ve asked so far remembers Camille Miranda.”

  Did she dare reveal her mom’s real name? What would he think of her?

  But this might be her only shot at finding her dad’s family without Mom’s help. And she could only get so far on half-truths. “What about . . . Camille Moody?” Bella bit her lip so hard she thought it might bleed, praying Bud wouldn’t scold her too hard for giving false information.

  “Camille Moody?” The man’s bushy eyebrows lifted. “Isn’t that the name of the developer trying to buy land here?”

  That’s right. Ben had said Bud was a city councilman. They’d probably been informed of Mom’s intentions.

  Sweat tickled Bella’s upper lip. “Um. Yes.”

  Bud put the green beans back on the wooden shelf and narrowed his eyes at her. “Young lady, just what are you up to? Because I’ll have you know that Ben Baker is a fine man, and if you’re playing with him—”

  “I’m not. I promise.” Bella glanced around, but no other grocery store customers headed down their aisle. “I just need to know. I really am. . .” She blew out a frustrated breath.

  A hand gripped her shoulder, squeezing gentler than she deserved.

  She dragged her
gaze back to Bud, surprised to find compassion staring back at her.

  “I don’t know your story, Bella, and maybe that’s for the best. But I do know that a relationship built on lies won’t last.”

  Her jaw ached from clenching her teeth too hard. “I know.” A pause. “Are you going to tell Ben who I really am?”

  The man studied her good and long. The sound of beeping registers drifted from the front of the store, filling in the silence between them. Bud crossed his arms over his chest. “I won’t insert myself where I don’t belong, but I won’t lie if I’m asked.”

  “Fair enough.” Then, because this wasn’t a business transaction after all, Bella softened her voice. “Thank you. For everything. I really am here to find out about my dad.”

  Bud nodded. “Glad to hear it. But I’m afraid knowing the real last name probably won’t change anything. Only Mary mentioned knowing any couple by the first names of Camille and Daniel. Doesn’t mean the truth isn’t out there, though.”

  Maybe not. But it could take her a long time to find it.

  Time she didn’t have.

  With a quick goodbye, Bella turned and started the mile-long trek back to the inn. She hoped Ben wouldn’t be there. She’d avoided him the last few days by staying in her room or leaving before the sun was up, when he usually started his work for the day.

  She knew if he asked, she couldn’t keep lying to him.

  But she wasn’t ready to tell the truth.

  She wasn’t ready to lose him.

  Walking in the growing darkness, not even the fresh air bolstered her. When she returned to the inn, she hurried to her room where a light shone beneath the door. Had she forgotten to turn it off this morning? Cautiously pulling her key card from her purse, Bella entered the room.

  “Finally.”

  Bella squeaked at the voice but quickly recovered upon seeing the brunette seated on her bed. “Jess?”

  “In the flesh.” Her best friend leaped from the bed, enveloping Bella in a hug.

  Fresh tears welled up in Bella’s eyes. Goodness. What was wrong with her? It hadn’t been that long since she’d seen Jessica. Still, her throat flashed hot. “What are you doing here?”