Zero Regret

by Autumn Jones Lake

  Now I have everyone’s attention.

  No one moves or speaks.

  “Honor, loyalty, respect. Those words might not mean much to others anymore, but they are values this club lives by.”

  And Shadow broke all three of them tonight. I don’t need to say it. If they’re listening, they’ll get there all on their own.

  “Those patches some of us wear ‘Brother’s Keeper’ and ‘Respect Few, Fear None’ aren’t empty sayings.” I slap my palm over my own patches. “We’ve shed blood. Done hard time. Protected our brothers to earn those patches.”

  A few brothers quietly brush their hands over their own cuts. Younger brothers glance at the patches on other members’ vests. Patches they’ve probably seen a thousand times, but never given a lot of thought. We don’t make a big show of handing out those patches. Bloodshed, incarceration, and sacrifice are what we do to protect what’s ours. Things we acknowledge but don’t necessarily celebrate.

  “Lost Kings protect what’s theirs. From the law. From outsiders. From everything. Always. Without question. It’s what we do to survive. And we always protect each other.”

  My gaze strays to Wrath and he gives me a subtle nod.

  “None of us are perfect. Sometimes we make mistakes. We depend on our brothers to show us mercy, kick our asses, or carry our burdens until we get back on our feet. We may not always like one another, but we’re always loyal.”

  Almost everyone laughs.

  “No matter how outside the law we live, there are consequences when you betray a brother. Our life and the code we live by demands it. The vows we took to be given the honor of wearing the patch requires our loyalty.”

  Now, it’s time to go for the kill.

  “Tonight, Shadow betrayed this brotherhood. Twice.”

  I pause to let that sink in.

  “First, he betrayed the most basic law Lost Kings have—he put his hands on my old lady without my permission.”

  Did I just reduce the woman I love to a piece of property to prove a point to my brothers? Damn right I did. I love Lilly and have endless respect for her, but none of that matters tonight at this table.

  “We’re not talking about a pinch on the ass or some flirting—which would be enough grounds for punishment.” I stare at each one of them before continuing. “He slammed her into the wall. Choked her.” My voice vibrates with rage. “He terrorized her someplace she should never be afraid—inside our clubhouse.”

  “No way, brother. Shouldn’t happen here.” Jigsaw’s calm but stern voice reaches me from the end of the table. “Our families are always safe and under our protection in this clubhouse.”

  Murmurs of agreement go around the table. This is the support I need. This isn’t only about me. It’s about all of us.

  Fuck, is that killing me too. What I really want to do is march out the door and put a bullet between Shadow’s eyes.

  “This isn’t who we are,” Steer says quietly from his seat. “We’re better than this.”

  Rooster glances at Steer and then Smoke before raising his hand and standing. “Let’s not forget Shadow also pulled a weapon on a brother. On our president during a righteous beatdown.” He glances around at everyone. “Fighting dirty. Using a weapon against a brother. It’s cowardly. It spits in the face of honor, loyalty, and brotherhood.”

  A few brothers actually clap when Rooster sits down. Not expecting such a passionate speech from him, I nod my appreciation and ask if anyone else has anything to add.

  While they seem surprised I asked, no one volunteers to speak.

  “Let’s take the first vote.” I slap the gavel against the table. “Stripping Shadow’s patch?”

  Even though Rock, Wrath, Murphy, Teller, and Dex are here to show their support, they’re not members of this charter so they abstain from the vote.

  They’ll sit out the next vote, too. I want there to be no mistake. No questioning me later about this decision.

  The vote is unanimous in favor of stripping Shadow’s patch.

  The next vote might be more complicated, but it also has to be unanimous. To keep the club strong, it’s worth the risk.

  And no, Shadow won’t be granted an opportunity to defend himself. That’s not how this works.

  I’ve done enough preaching at them. Once I get the vote to strip his patch, I go right for the next one.

  “All those in favor of putting our ex-brother to ground?” I wait and glance around the room. “Take your time to speak now before we take the vote.”

  Jigsaw raises his hand. “Brother, for what he did, you’re within your rights…”

  “I know.” I allow my gaze to travel to each brother, meeting their stares head-on. “Each one of us understands the code. We also know I haven’t been your president for long. Further, you didn’t vote me in. I was brought in under unusual circumstances by Priest. Because of that, this decision needs to be a club vote. I’ll abide by whatever the club decides.” The corner of my mouth lifts. “Although, I reserve the right to kick Shadow’s ass again either way.”

  Brothers glance at each other and low murmurs go around the table. Obviously, this wasn’t expected.

  Murphy crosses his arms over his chest and sits back, giving me a slight nod. Wrath and Teller are more tense, watching the room for any signs of anarchy. Rock’s eyes are on Smoke, which makes sense. Not long ago we were visiting when Smoke brandished a gun around the clubhouse and I had to tackle his drunk ass to the ground and wrestle the pistol out of his hands before he shot someone.

  Killing a full-patched brother, a former officer, is about as serious as it gets in our world. Emotions are sure to be all over the place.

  Steer finally signals that it’s time to take the vote. Next to Sway, he probably has the most time in this club, so his “yes” vote carries a lot of weight.

  Each brother’s yes is slow and deliberate. We may be a brotherhood full of outlaws, but no one takes killing someone they’ve shared a patch with lightly.

  My gaze lands on Rooster. Instead of a yes or no, he holds up his hand, halting the vote. After all his earlier comments, he’s not who I expected to vote this down.

  I hide my irritation and nod, giving him the floor to speak. Rooster’s got brass ones and doesn’t shrink under the scrutiny.

  He stands and looks around the table. “I wasn’t going to bring this up until I had more information, but something else needs to be discussed before we continue with this vote.”

  He swallows hard and looks my way.

  “Go on,” I encourage. Now I’m curious.

  “I’ve been gathering proof…some records, video, shit like that. I think Shadow was involved with Sway’s shooting and I think he set us up to get ambushed the night Malone’s burned down.”

  Well, now I understand why Rooster wasn’t ready to bring this to the table until he was one hundred percent sure. Two serious accusations. He could be kicked out of the club if he accused a member of this level of betrayal without proof.

  Hustler sits forward. “What do you have?”

  “His toll records. His real ones. He wasn’t using the club-issued EZ Pass. He’s been using another one registered to his wife.”

  “His who?” Murphy asks.

  “He’s got a citizen wife on the outside,” Jigsaw explains. “None of us really know her that well.”

  Figures.

  “She’s his tie to the Vipers,” Rooster says. “Her brother is a prospect.”

  Jesus Christ, what’s Sway been doing at the head of this table for the last few years, napping? “How did none of you know this?”

  Steer raises his hand. “Like Jiggy said, half of us have never even met her. Shit, the way he plows through clubwhores, I didn’t even realize he had a gal on the outside until Rooster and I dug into him when Sway nominated him for VP.”

  Yeah, ‘cause where a guy sticks his dick is proof he’s fit to be an officer. Jesus Christ.

  “All right. What’s the big deal about his toll records
?”

  Rooster pulls a folder out from under the table and sifts through a few papers. “He’s made a lot of trips down to New Jersey over the last few months.” He looks around the table. “We all know we don’t conduct business in Viper territory. There’s no reason for Shadow to make so many trips down there.”

  Someone whistles. A few what the fucks are muttered.

  “Maybe it’s his old lady?” Smoke suggests.

  “Could be,” Rooster concedes. “Still,” he glances my way and down toward Murphy and Teller. “Any of you let your girls go into Viper territory when they held down Ironworks?”

  “Fuck no,” Teller says.

  Rooster’s pained eyes meet mine. “I finally tracked down the person who rented the black Cadillac.” He tosses a grainy black and white photo down the table toward me.

  It’s fuzzy, obviously a still from some security camera that’s been enhanced. He’s not wearing his colors. I still recognize the cocky set of the shoulders and one of the tattoos on his neck. Shadow.

  “Time and date are at the bottom.” Rooster says quietly.

  It’s dated a couple days before Sway was shot.

  “How convenient,” Smoke sneers.

  “Come the fuck on,” Steer spits out. He sits forward and motions for me to hand him the photo. “Jesus Christ,” he whispers after studying the photo.

  “You got any idea how many fucking computers and security systems I had to break into?” Rooster says to Smoke. “He rented it in Jersey figuring we wouldn’t look there since he had no business being in their territory.”

  Steer passes the photo down the table and lifts his chin at Rooster. “You still have the actual video?”

  “I got copies of everything. Including the video where his wife confesses what went down to Jigsaw.” He shoots a glare at Smoke. “Anyone who wants to examine my evidence is more than welcome to. I printed that out before we sat down but there’s lots more.”

  “All right. That’s damning enough.” I lift my chin at Rooster. “What do you have on Malone’s?”

  “Word is he did it for the insurance money so he could pay off DeLova.”

  “Is it possible Shadow got his wires crossed and thought DeLova was coming?” Hustler asks.

  Dumb theory, but I get it. We’re all grasping at straws. Struggling to wrap our minds around a brother betraying the club.

  “Anything’s possible.” Rooster shrugs. “My guess is Malone hired Shadow to burn the place down. Maybe when Shadow showed up with more people, it made Malone trigger happy. Or maybe Shadow thought it would be an easy way to get rid of his Z problem.”

  Fury burns through me. “Y’all need to get your priorities straight. After what went down with Bull, every single member should’ve been vetted more thoroughly.”

  I should rein in my temper. Antagonizing everyone at the table when I’m trying to bring them together isn’t the smartest move, but fuck, I’m pissed.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Lilly

  I’m exhausted, but too anxious to sleep after talking to Z. While I told him exactly what Shadow said and did, I left out the parts where I encouraged Shadow’s behavior in the beginning of our encounter.

  I feel that’s something I need to confess in person.

  My phone buzzes and I notice a text from Hope.

  Instead of answering, I call her back. Obviously, she’s up.

  “Hey, everything okay?” I say as soon as she answers.

  “I was going to ask you that. Rock, Wrath, and Dex just headed down your way.”

  “Oh. Wow. Okay.” Does that mean Z’s in trouble? Or is Rock coming down to support Z? Either way, I’m relieved Z will have more people he trusts at the clubhouse.

  “Did he say why?”

  She chuckles softly. “Only that he thought you might appreciate a phone call. Everything okay?”

  I consider my words carefully.

  “There was a small incident. One of the brothers…I don’t know, put his hands on me. In a rather hostile way.”

  “Jeez.” She’s quiet. “A full-patch?”

  “Yup.” I try to laugh it off. “I punched him in the nuts, so it worked out fine.”

  She doesn’t join in on the laughter. “Lilly, I’m so sorry. That shouldn’t happen.”

  “That’s what everyone said.”

  “Poor Z. That’s not what he needs right now.”

  “I’m aware.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”

  “I know you didn’t, Hope.”

  “Do you want me to come down tomorrow?”

  Do I? She has a baby at home to worry about. If things get uglier down here, I don’t want to bring her into unregulated chaos. Although, I suppose if it’s really a problem, Rock wouldn’t let her come down anyway.

  “You don’t have to do that, but why don’t we make plans to meet up sometime this week? We can meet somewhere halfway if you don’t want to drive all the way down here.”

  “We could meet in Woodstock and have lunch at that fancy Chinese place right outside of the village?” she suggests.

  “That sounds good. See if you can get Trinity to join us.”

  “You sure everything’s all right? Is there anything I can do?”

  “Honestly, no. Chance is next door at Heidi’s. I just talked to Z and he said it’s going to be a long night. Teller brought me home.”

  “That’s good. If you need something or you decide you do want me to come down, you know, if this goes on for more than tonight and you want some company, don’t be afraid to ask me.”

  “I won’t. Promise.”

  We hang up and I feel a little better after talking to her.

  Less alone.

  Z

  “All those in favor of halting the vote until we get more information from Shadow?”

  This time, the vote goes all the way around the table and it’s unanimous.

  Shadow’s execution at the hands of the club has been granted a stay.

  Tension twists through the room, thick and suffocating. “Let’s take a break and meet in the bunker in thirty.” I slam down the gavel and follow Steer out of the room.

  As our SAA, he’s the one who gets to hoist Shadow up. Jigsaw helps him drag Shadow to the old storm shelter out back. Well, it started out as a storm shelter. Sway got on a doomsday-prepper kick a few years back and turned it into something more secure.

  Where we’ll have total privacy.

  Rooster brings interested brothers into the office to share what he has on Shadow.

  Since I want the motherfucker dead no matter what, I don’t need to examine anything.

  The rest of the brothers slowly find their way outside. A few men stop to shake my hand or offer words of encouragement and thanks.

  When almost everyone else has gone outside, Rock slaps his hand on my shoulder and turns me to face him. “You did good in there, brother.” Pride shines in his eyes. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m really proud of you.”

  I flash a quick, tired grin. “Learned from the best.”

  “Nah, those were thoughtful, powerful words.” He pokes me in the chest. “Straight from the heart. Everyone could feel it.” He glances around to make sure we’re not overheard. “They’ve needed to hear it for a while. I hope it sinks in.”

  “I think it did.”

  “I think so too.”

  Wrath comes up behind me and hooks his arm around my neck. “Proud of you, Angus,” he says against my ear.

  “You hit your head sometime tonight?”

  He doesn’t laugh, but he does release me from the chokehold. “That’s some fucked-up shit, Z. I knew there was a reason I never liked him.”

  “Take a number.”

  “Rooster’s smart,” Rock says. “He could’ve told you what he had in secret. He earned everyone’s respect by waiting and building his case before bringing it to the table.”

  “Yeah, he told me straight-up a couple weeks ago, he was loyal to t
he club, not any one brother.” I glance around at the now mostly empty clubhouse. “You guys don’t have to stay for this.”

  Rock and Wrath share a look. “You have everything handled,” Rock says. “If you want us here for any reason, we’ll stay.”

  “No, brother. I appreciate it. But you’ve got a baby at home. You should be there. It’s gonna be a long, dirty night. If you wanna catch a few hours of sleep at the house before heading back or something, let me—”

  “Nah. We’ll be all right,” Wrath says.

  Dex walks up and waves his hand. “I’m gonna stick around, if that’s all right, Prez?”

  “Yeah,” Rock says. “I think that’s a good idea. “You all right with that, Z?”

  “Absolutely.”

  I’d have no problem with Rock and Wrath staying either. I understand why they think it’s better to head out. The upstate president came down here tonight to let everyone in this club know he has my back. Now, he’s leaving to show them I can handle this on my own.

  Since Dex isn’t an officer upstate, it’s less of a big deal for him to stick around. Teller and Murphy will definitely be attending since they were part of the Malone fiasco.

  Tonight will be bloody.

  Tomorrow, I have a feeling I’ll need a new VP.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Z

  It’s been a long time since I’ve attended the execution of a brother.

  Our national president keeps hounding us to recruit new numbers. Tonight is why we’ve always been selective and few men ever earn a full three-piece patch.

  A brother going behind the club’s back to work against us with a rival club is a huge betrayal. The only thing worse is a brother who snitches to the cops.

  Trying to take out our president because of greed or because he couldn’t get enough members to rally to his side, that’s a whole new level of treachery. Every decision an officer makes is supposed to be for the good of the whole club. We may not always like all those choices, but we stand by our brothers.