Lonely Lullaby: Ballad of a Broken Soul Series | Book 1

by Vannah Summers

  I cleared my throat, trying to figure out where he was heading with this. “Um, no, I can’t say that I have.”

  His thumb stroked the length of my bottom lip. “It’s also known as ‘call and response.’ It’s sort of like when you say or play something that prompts a response from someone else.” At my confused expression, he chuckled. “Damn, I’m not explaining this right. Um, think of your song. When I hear it, my heart wants to respond to you.”

  “Um...” I thought I understood what he meant. His heart responded to mine?

  “Maybe I should just show you,” he said, his sea-green eyes catching the lights.

  “We’re all exposed to risks and chance...” Parker sang in a breathy whisper, his gaze roaming around my face like he couldn’t believe this moment was happening to him. His voice cracked slightly as he continued, “As we try to capture balance... Each person contrasts to the next... With dreams and fears just as complex...”

  My heart fluttered behind my ribcage, its beating like the wings of a hummingbird. My breath hitched as the overwhelming desire to sing bubbled up inside my throat, to join him in song, but I swallowed it down. Parker’s lips pressed gently to my forehead, and I hummed softly as his lips moved against my skin. “Why are we run by opinions... We’re a culture of division...” His lips trailed slowly to my temple, and I closed my eyes at the tenderness in his touch. “I want to stop this pretending... And focus on just being me...”

  Parker’s gentle lips glided to my ear, and I shivered, but not because I was scared or cold. No, this shiver sent warmth through me, heating every inch of my body like the rays of summer sun. “I hid behind a lens of lies... To conceal from judging eyes...” Parker’s pained voice sang against my ear, his breath tickling my exposed skin. “I’m shown to be someone I’m not...”

  His voice was utterly broken, so completely miserable, that my heart flared harshly in my chest cavity, threatening to consume me. His next words came out in a sad sigh against the strands of my hair that teased my ear. “A fake face behind every shot...”

  Deciphering his lyrics, I understood he felt the pressure to be what others expected. To hide behind a mask of pretense and lies.

  “How should I know which path to choose... Each road I take I always lose... I want a place to call my home... A family that is all my own...”

  The warmth from his lips traced across my cheeks, spreading their warmth as they lingered at the corner of my mouth. “My lullaby’s lonely and bruised… Feeling like I’m always used…” I inhaled as his hands came up to the back of my head, his fingers trembling slightly. “When will this act come to an end... I’m done with all of the pretend…”

  Determination fueled his voice as he continued. “I hid behind a lens of lies... To conceal from judging eyes...” Parker’s hands stilled before he finished his song.

  “I’m shown to be someone I’m not... A fake face behind every shot...”

  His song lingered in the wind around us, leaving a melancholy sadness to float across our skin. I didn’t dare breathe, not wanting to shatter the moment Parker had gifted me with.

  “Sweetheart?” he whispered, his lips still at the corner of my mouth. If I turned my head a fraction, our lips would touch and I would be kissing him.

  I almost did just that when the club door banged open, and I jerked away, our glass bubble shattering around us.

  Oliver stood in the doorway, an unidentifiable look in his eyes as he scowled at Parker. “Hey, sorry to interrupt,” he drawled out. “But Ace needs you, Park.”

  Parker cursed under his breath and glanced quickly in my direction, regret clear in his eyes. He hurried through the doorway, brushing roughly by Oliver, and I bit my lip. I didn’t want them to fight.

  Oliver slunk outside, his eyes hooded as he regarded me. The door snapped closed behind him, shutting out the music of the club. The chill of the air seeped through my outfit, and he must have noticed because he pulled me gently into his arms.

  “Did you and Park have a good talk?” he asked casually, but an edge filled his voice. I peeked up at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Was he jealous?

  “Um, yeah, we did.”

  “He seemed upset,” Oliver mused, and I shrugged noncommittally. Oliver sighed, squeezing me tightly in his arms. “Listen, Tessa.” I stilled at the seriousness in his voice. “I’m going to be blunt with you. When I came out here and saw you two like that...” His voice cracked.

  I pulled away to gaze up at him. There was a raw ache in his green eyes but also the solid tinge of jealousy. It gave me pause. I didn’t want to cause issues between any of them. That wasn’t what I was trying to do...

  Well, what are you trying to do, Tessa? I thought to myself. You’re complicating things by kissing these guys, and you might not get the answers you’re looking for. You shouldn’t be kissing them, because it’s just going to turn them against each other. You’re acting like a child.

  A numbness settled over me from the thought of my actions. I had kissed three of these men, and if I was being honest, I wanted to kiss all of them. Didn’t that make me a bad person?

  I shivered and tried to take a step away from Oliver. “I’m sorry, Oliver. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  He didn’t let me get far, though. He reached out and latched onto my hand, his eyes pleading with mine. “No, Tessa, fuck,” he growled, releasing my hand to pace back and forth in front of me. He ran troubled fingers through his hair before he continued. “Shit, I didn’t mean to come off as a prick.”

  “You aren’t a prick, Oliver,” I said softly.

  He whirled around, and I was taken aback at the hungry look in his bright gaze. “And then you go and say my name, and I’m just done for.” He came to stand in front of me again.

  “I hear the others say your name all the time.”

  “That’s not what I mean.” His hand moved to tuck a stray hair behind my ear.

  He hesitated but dropped his hand. He made no move to close the small distance between us, and I didn’t understand why. Oliver had been so touchy with me, and I wondered why he held back now.

  “What do you mean, then?” I asked curiously.

  He eyes snapped closed, and he inhaled a ragged breath. “It sounds like the sweetest breath of air coming from your lips. Your voice undoes me.”

  I didn’t know what to say to him, but it didn’t seem like he needed me to.

  Taking a small step forward, I closed the distance between us. My hand reached up to trace my fingers across his high cheekbones. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

  He shook his head, and a line formed between his eyebrows. “No, you haven’t done a single thing wrong,” he said with a sigh and blinked his eyes open. “And neither has anyone else. It’s just... I can’t stop the jealousy every time one of them touches you. I know you said you’ve felt similar feelings with the others and you’re trying to find out why, but fucking hell, I didn’t expect it to be so painful to watch you try to figure it out.”

  “Oliver,” I whispered sadly, and he looked away from my eyes. “Will you sing for me?”

  A choked chuckle fell from his lips as his eyes met mine again. “I’ll sing all the songs I know for you, but I don’t think now’s the right time.”

  I shook my head. “No, that’s not what I meant. I want you to sing your song.”

  Understanding dawned in his eyes. “But you already heard it.”

  I smiled. “I know, but I’d like to hear it again, if that’s okay?”

  Taking a deep breath, he started to sing, his breathing already ragged and shaky before he even began. “They told me to just be myself... To take my heart from off its shelf... But cruelty is my heart’s keeper... Alone and bruised, it hid deeper... “

  His voice was different from when he sang on stage. Both were beautiful, but this song meant everything to him. This was everything he was, and I heard it plainly in his words.

  “What do I have to offer you... This naive bo
y who has no clue...” He sang to me as he began to rock us in a slow dance. His body shook, and I figured that the song took an emotional toll on him to sing. “About what love is meant to be... ‘Cause love has always escaped me...”

  Each word held an ache, the insecurity of not being good enough. My eyes kept hold of his, not wanting to miss a single detail of what he shared with me, and he smiled sadly as he continued in a husky whisper.

  “So, can you look me in my eyes... Tell me that you won’t say goodbye... And promise you won’t leave me be...” Oliver’s voice cracked slightly, and he raised a hand to stroke my cheek. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until I felt the dampness beneath his fingertips. “Because you love the me you see...”

  His eyes took on a far-off look, his words coming out stronger as his chest rose and fell in quick motions. “I’ll coax my heart from off the shelf... And give you it, my pain, myself... Please tell me, then, what do I do... When being me means losing, too?”

  Softly, like a kiss from a feather, his hands made their way down my cheeks and over my shoulders, sending light tingles over my exposed skin. “I’m tired of being alone... I want someone to call my own... To kiss me true and hold me tight... And sing to me a lullaby...”

  My lips cut off his words as I tasted his loneliness. The wetness of my tears still lined my cheeks, but I didn’t care enough to wipe them away. Oliver only paused for a moment before he kissed me back, the raw pain clear with every caress of his lips against mine. Together, our loneliness mingled in a war of lips and tongues.

  This kiss was different than the others, though. It wasn’t rough or heady. No, this was a kiss between two people who had just shared their pain and heartache with one another.

  I sighed against his mouth as he gently tasted my lips with his tongue, and I mimicked the movement on him. He moaned and brought up a hand to cup my cheek as his lips glided in a slow dance across my own, barely touching but leaving a trail of tenderness and promise behind.

  Backing away, he smiled down at me. “Come on,” he murmured as he tugged me to the door again. He kept one of my hands in his as he turned to open it. “I need to get you back before the others get mad at me again for hogging you.”

  “Oliver?” I asked softly, and he glanced over his shoulder at me. “I do.”

  He looked confused. “You do what?”

  “I do love the you I see.”

  With that I entered the noisy club, leaving a shocked Oliver by the door.

  CHAPTER 21

  The strength of my nerves eclipsed the beat from the bass vibrating in the air. I didn’t know how I’d said that to Oliver. It was so bold of me, and yet I felt empowered because of it. While I wasn’t in love with him, I did love many of the qualities he possessed, like his vulnerability.

  The club's floor vibrated from the blaring music, and I almost wished I could stay outside. Almost.

  A clustered line of wasted men and women waiting for the restroom filled the hall. I passed by them, ignoring the smell of vomit and urine as I passed the bathroom doors.

  Once I reached the dance floor, I scanned the room over for the guys. I felt their eyes on me before I saw them, though.

  They had somehow managed to snag a table near the back of the club, and an assortment of drinks and food was scattered across its waxy, black surface. The first set of eyes mine collided with were ice blue, though the shadows of the club darkened them.

  Ace sat beside Kai and Parker, their seats facing the dance floor. The others sat facing away but turned and twisted in their chairs to eye my progression across the club. Hunter’s dark gaze in particular trailed my advance like a hawk, and I felt the urge to roll my eyes at all of them.

  A body came up close behind me, grabbing hold of my bicep. Guessing Oliver had caught up to me, I glanced over my shoulder with a smile. Only it wasn’t Oliver.

  A middle-aged man with rancid breath and drooping eyelids stood behind me, his drunken gaze roaming my exposed skin hungrily. My gut clenched as fear short-circuited my brain.

  Before I could make another move, the man’s hand was ripped off me.

  The smell of sandalwood surrounded me, and I peeked up into Hunter’s steady gaze. The man immediately shied away from Hunter, raising his hands up in surrender as he backed away into the crowds of people. I didn’t blame him. Hunter didn't look like someone to mess with.

  Hunter reached down and grabbed my hand with his, sending a pleasant shock through my arm. Words clouded over my thoughts, confusing me for a moment as a song raced through my mind. Even the sounds of the club were drowned out.

  You beat my heart into a pulp... And hid the evidence with lies...

  He glanced down at me, his frown deepening as he peered into my muddled eyes. I stared back, my breath hitching as he searched my eyes for answers I didn’t know if I could give him. Stepping closer, his broad frame engulfed and surrounded me.

  “Hey, move your salted caramels out of the way,” Oliver shouted, his voice barely rising above the music as he shoved through a group of people who blocked his path to Hunter and me.

  Hunter’s gaze flicked over to Oliver, distracted for the moment from whatever he’d been thinking. He began to move, steering us back to the table where the others all waited. He kept my hand tightly in his, and I flushed when his thumb traced over my skin, almost absentmindedly. He was one of the most closed off out of all of the guys in the group, and I liked the thought he was starting to feel more comfortable with me. It was almost surreal watching the way he doted on Whitney.

  These men were the best distractions, and I had no idea how I'd manage reality once they continued their tour.

  The guys made room for me to sit next to them, sandwiching me between Hunter and Christian. Their broad bodies pressed up firmly against me, sending waves of tingly energy across my skin.

  Christian made sure to pile extra food on a plate they made for me, and I eyed it warily. He placed several large pizza slices and cheesy bread on my plate. He even went as far as to dish me a fat slice of strawberry cheesecake on a small plate off to the side of my water cup.

  Leaning up, I yelled anxiously into his ear, “I don’t think I can finish all of that!”

  Smirking, he turned his face to talk to me. His lips ghosted across my cheek as they traveled to my ear. His breath caressed my skin. I sucked in a shuddering breath, but the music of the club drowned it out. “Try for me.”

  He sat back and turned his attention to his food, appearing unaffected by what he just did. My face burned, and I was grateful for the dim corner we sat in so my traitorous blush would be less obvious.

  Peeking hesitantly at the heaping amount of various foods on my plate, I wondered how much they thought I could eat. I used to have a large appetite, but between working such long shifts without a break and struggling with money, I didn’t eat as much as I should have. I couldn’t afford to.

  My eyes wandered around the table and took note that my plate rivaled Christian’s and Parker’s overly filled plates. Oliver munched happily on several slices, occasionally stealing the olives Christian picked off his pizza. Everyone dug into their food without a word, probably because the music made it near impossible to chat normally, and I sighed, feeling guilty I would be wasteful of all this nice food.

  Finishing off the crust of my pizza, I made my way down the rest of the slice. I thought I felt eyes on me and peeked out of the corner of my eye to find Oliver watching me in curiosity.

  “Why did you eat the crust first?” His fingers slid over the condensation on the sides of his cup.

  Smiling, I popped a strawberry from my cheesecake into my mouth and licked my lips. “I like to save the best part for last.”

  Oliver’s eyes darkened in what I could only describe as a hungry expression, and Hunter’s chest rumbled in a groan beside me. He shook his head at us, but I could see no real annoyance in his eyes.

  I ordered a couple of fruity cocktails, something I normally didn’t allow myself, an
d sat back in my seat in heavy comfort. Working at a bar, I’d witnessed too many unfortunate incidents of what happened when someone got too drunk, so I felt no real desire for the substance. But being around these guys, I knew they wouldn’t let me go off the wagon and would make sure nothing bad happened to me. Samantha and Daniel would kill them all otherwise.

  And maybe it was silly, but seeing the way the guys interacted with Whitney, making sure she was involved and taken care of, gave them a sense of trust in my eyes.

  After another half hour, we decided to leave the club. I had to work in the morning and knew I wasn’t going to get enough sleep now. It was worth it, though, getting to spend my day with these great guys.

  I must have had more to drink than I’d originally guessed, but it didn’t hit me until I tried to stand. Christian was there in an instant, holding up my weight as I tried to get the ground to stop moving. He chuckled into my ear and pulled me up into his muscled arms. I tried to protest, but the words escaped me in a jumbled mess.

  Christian weaved through the dancers and clubbers with ease, and even though I tried to push past the oncoming grogginess so I wouldn’t fall asleep in his arms since we hardly knew each other, my eyes gradually began to shut at the soft rocking motion.

  The bodyguards waited for us once we reached the entrance of the club, and I groaned when the chill of the night air hit my body, raising goose bumps over my exposed skin. I curled more into Christian’s warm body, trying to soak up as much of his heat as I could. My fingers clutched at his shirt as I buried my face into the fabric, and his chest resonated in a soft growl as he pulled me tighter to him, holding me possessively to his body.

  I vaguely remembered being placed in one of the SUVs, the scent of something exotic and sweet engulfing my senses. My eyelashes fluttered drowsily against my skin as I fought the sleep clouding my mind, but a warm hand began to softly rub my back, making my efforts useless.