Offsides (A Playing Hard Novella Book 3)

by Marie Johnston

  Laurie’s brow furrowed. “True.”

  “Maybe let nature take its course,” I murmured. Telling myself not to be insulted that it didn’t occur to them that I was also “very single” wasn’t helping.

  Grace pointed at me and it was like her finger shot a spear of panic into my heart. Had she figured me out? “You’re right. At least wait until hockey’s over.”

  Laurie finally gave me some space. “Right. We don’t want to distract him.” She bobbed her head. “Good call.”

  Seeing my out, I took it. I’d be a few minutes early, but I’d rather extract myself now. “Look at that. It’s almost eleven. I’d better get back to the room.”

  Laurie laughed. “Eleven? Don’t worry. We’ll build your stamina back up.”

  Grace bent to grab her purse. “I can walk up with you.”

  I schooled my expression and kept myself from yelling “No!” “It’s all right. I’m not far from the elevator.”

  “Stay with me, Grace,” Laurie urged. “I can’t watch darts for another hour.”

  I scurried out, not waiting for Grace’s reply.

  I double checked my phone. Room 221. No one else was in the stairwell. I eased out of the door and looked down each side of the hall. My room was to the right and around the corner.

  Hayden waited for me to the left, on the other side of the elevator. If the rooms were reversed and I was meeting him around the corner, that’d be better.

  My heart raced as I slipped down the hall to 221 and pushed the door open. I didn’t dare look back out. Letting the door shut behind me, I peered past the bathroom enclave. Hayden was sitting at the desk, papers spread out and a laptop open. Huh. I always used those desks for luggage. I didn’t realize people actually needed them for…a desk.

  His hair was mussed and he was in his slacks from earlier. The sleeves of his once crisp white shirt were rolled up.

  “Grading papers?” I asked.

  “Yes. And sizing up Fergus Falls for tomorrow.” He sat back with a sigh, fatigue rolling off him in waves. He’d had a late night when he came to my garage, followed by a busy week at school and hockey.

  I’d forgotten how much work this time of year was for teachers who coached. Going up behind him, I dug my hands into his shoulders, massaging into the tight muscles. Walking in to see him working and wanting to chat was so normal, so instinctive. Did he feel the same way? Or was I just convenient?

  He groaned and dropped his head forward. “God that feels good. How was tonight?”

  “Okay. We talked about setting you up with Jenna’s aunt.”

  He jerked his head back up. “What?”

  “I felt like I should warn you, even though they also decided to wait until hockey season is done.”

  “And you…were part of this?”

  I stopped my kneading and shook my head. Backing up, I dropped onto the lone bed in the room. “I told them it would be awkward for you because of Jenna and Mason. Apparently, when they were asking about my dating life it didn’t occur to them to link me with you.”

  He spun in the office chair until our knees brushed together. “And it made you feel like crap.”

  I nodded. Feeling foolish was also up there.

  He spread his hands across my knees. Just jeans for me today since I didn’t have to worry about easy access. The way this hour was starting, I wasn’t sure I had to worry about any access. Between his weariness and my anxiety about the lounge conversation, we weren’t exactly hot to tear into each other.

  All the questions that had formed between the sneaking around and my time with the girls hung over my head. I hated sneaking around more than I hated being the spectacle everyone gossiped about.

  I was about to tell Hayden about my dilemma, but heat sparked in his gaze, and he stroked his hands up my legs. Talking was no longer my priority. I wanted him to make me forget about all my insecurities.

  So far, the out-of-town arrangement was working. It was the end of January, and this time, we were in Crookston, snuggled in a hotel bed. It was almost midnight. Hayden would have to get back to his room before the assistant coaches sent out a search party.

  I swirled my finger on his bare chest, my body tired and satisfied. “I don’t want this to end.”

  His thumb stroked my bare shoulder. “Me either. I know I gotta get back, but I don’t want to move.”

  My room was down the hall, so I didn’t have to sneak far. The thrill that came from leaving the room wasn’t one I enjoyed. Once I was safely back in my room, then it was fine. There was only the one time that I ran across one of Tappen’s dads coming back from the lounge I had ditched an hour earlier and had made the excuse that I’d forgotten something in my car. I’d felt young and wild until the sensation of being a dirty little secret had set in.

  “Do you want more kids?” he asked suddenly.

  I popped up on one shoulder, looking down on him. “Kids?”

  He nodded. “I mean, we should think about it if we’re messing around. I know you have that IUD thing, but if we’re going to continue seeing each other, we should consider these things. Forty is getting closer, not farther away.”

  That wasn’t quite an undying testament for how he felt about me, but I ignored my disappointment and focused on his practicality. Did I want more kids?

  “No,” I finally answered. “I don’t think I do. It’s hard to picture life after Conner goes to college, but I can see what Kyle was saying. I missed out on a lot of years that I’d planned to be free and single. I’d like to rediscover myself again.”

  A faint smile touched his lips. “I’m not sure how I feel either. I love working with kids, but raising another seems like it belongs in another life.”

  I rested my head back on his chest. “We’re less than two months away from telling the kids.” And everyone else.

  I felt his long exhale more than I heard it. “Yeah.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No. I want us to be out.” He went quiet for a moment. “It’s just that I thought Mason would be farther along, but he’s still as sullen as he was when the season started.”

  “He’s playing well, and he has a girlfriend. Maybe it’s not about you.”

  “I think it is. I’ve almost wished his mom was around to help me figure it out.”

  I bit lightly down on my tongue. My knee-jerk reaction was to be slighted, hurt by his statement. But he was comfortable enough to say it while we were naked in bed. That had to mean something. Just because I didn’t need to co-parent with Kyle didn’t mean that I wished Kyle would stay gone for good. I wanted my son to have a father.

  But there wasn’t a moment when I thought I couldn’t take care of anything Conner needed on my own.

  I also wasn’t putting myself in a position to be a replacement mom for Mason. Hayden talked about his concerns for his son, but he never asked for my opinion. I was there for support and I wasn’t sure he wanted more than a sounding board.

  “Oh, crap. It’s getting late.” He tipped my face up for a kiss, then rolled away to put his clothes on. I did the same.

  He dressed quicker than me and was gathering his papers. “You go ahead. I want to take one last look at tomorrow’s lineup.”

  “Mason’s going to be okay. Even once we come clean. He’ll be just fine.”

  He gave me a tight smile. “Yeah. I’m sure you’re right.”

  Crossing to me, he cupped my face and gave me a lingering kiss. Then went back to his papers.

  Feeling dismissed, I slipped out of the hotel and went to my room. The closer we got to the end of the season, the more I wondered whether hockey was going to be the only thing done.

  Chapter 7

  There was no practice tonight due to February parent-teacher conferences, and I was looking forward to the reprieve from running to grab Conner afterward. We could have a sit-down meal. I had chicken tortilla soup going in the crockpot. And to make tonight extra special, he’d asked me to go driving with him. Three m
onths of me getting him from practice had finally worn him down.

  It was one of the last hurdles I felt like we needed to clear before I could tell him about Hayden. That and hockey season, which was done soon. The other was Conner’s relationship with Mason. The two still didn’t talk outside of practice. Sharing our news would be easier if the boys were on good terms.

  I clicked off my computer and closed up the office. Waving to the front desk admin on the way out, I picked my way through the fresh snow to my car.

  As I pulled up to my house, a familiar car caught my eye. Was that Mason’s?

  Unsure of what to think, I pulled into the garage. Should I be happy that Mason was here to finally talk to Conner? It depended on what the topic was. The boys wanted to go to state, and a big blowout before the sectional tournament would be something they’d both avoid.

  In the house, it was warm and quiet but the hairs on my arms rose. I toed off my shoes and hung my coat up. Where were the kids?

  “Conner?” I hated to disturb them if they were reconnecting—or arguing—but my gut churned. The silence was getting to me. I should be used to it by now.

  “In the living room.” The edge to his voice gave me pause.

  My stomach churned as I walked to where he sat. His expression was grave as he sat in the recliner, his feet kicked out on the floor. My gaze shifted to Mason, standing at the door.

  “Hi, Mason.”

  He dipped his head, then lifted a brow toward Conner.

  “So, Mason found something interesting on his dad’s phone.”

  Oh, God. I was propelled back in time to a similar situation with Conner saying something very close. So, Mason found something interesting on his mom’s phone. Only I’d been called into the principal’s office that day after Conner decked Mason.

  “Oh?” was all I said.

  Mason spoke, startling me. “Are you sleeping with my dad?”

  Our roles had been reversed. I felt like the teen confronted by her stern parents. Only I’d never been this panicked. “Have you asked your dad?”

  Mason shifted, his hands stuffed into his hoodie. It was four degrees outside, but he had no jacket. “He’s at conferences until seven.”

  It was only five thirty. Dammit. “I think we should wait for him before we talk about this.” One thing I wasn’t doing was lying to him.

  “Mom.” Conner looked at me like he was seeing me with new eyes—more worldly eyes, thanks to his dad. “Coach Lennox? Wasn’t what Dad did enough?”

  “Unlike your dad, I’m not married.” My gaze shifted to Mason. He glared out our big picture window. “And neither is your dad, Mason.”

  “But you’ve been sneaking around,” Conner repeated.

  I can’t believe we were on repeat. But I also couldn’t fault Hayden. He’d wanted Mason to trust him, and it’s not like Hayden should have to shower with his phone. We’d wanted to spare the boys, but we’d only hurt Mason and Conner, just like before.

  I sighed. This was going to happen without Hayden. Maybe I’d mess it up, maybe I wouldn’t, but I wasn’t lying to either one of them. “Have a seat, Mason. Your dad can come over for supper when he’s done.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not staying.”

  I put a little mom into my voice, something Mason probably wasn’t used to hearing. “Then sit so we can talk like the adult you nearly are.”

  He heaved a sigh and went to the couch. Flopping on it, he cocked his head toward me the way teens do when they’re pissed at an adult.

  I perched on the love seat and angled myself so I could face both of them. “Yes, we’ve been seeing each other. And we kept it from you because we didn’t want to mess your season up. We were also worried how each of you would handle it with regards to each other.”

  Mason’s hostility wavered between us.

  Conner looked at him. “You didn’t post anything this time, did you?”

  “Fuck no.” He shook his head. “I should’ve.”

  “Because it went so well last time,” Conner snapped.

  “At least I did something.” Mason threw his hand out. “What have you been doing, sitting on your ass, playing Mario Kart?”

  “At least I’m not hooking up with Jenna. Did you know she’s sliding in Jordan’s DMs?”

  “Yes,” Mason hissed. “He’s not falling for it, and I’m not with her anymore.”

  I wasn’t sure if I should referee or steer the conversation back to me and Hayden. This fight weighed heavy, like both of them needed it.

  They both looked at me.

  “How long have you been lying?” Conner asked.

  “Things turned…more than friendly…after the first game.”

  Conner huffed out a breath. “How— When— I mean…”

  Mason answered for me. “The out-of-town games. I saw the messages. Room numbers. Times.” He shuddered. “Nasty.”

  I should be offended, but I understood the déjà vu sense of betrayal he must be dealing with.

  “Seriously, Mom? Does anyone else know?”

  I shook my head. “We were discreet.”

  “Yeah, well, you learned from the best.” Mason rose and stomped toward the door. Before he whipped it open, he pinned Conner with a hard stare. “It’s going to be freshman year all over again. This time, maybe try blaming someone who deserves it.” He shot me a pointed look before disappearing outside.

  I sighed and pushed my hair back. The front door hung open, and a cold draft circled the room, but I didn’t have the gumption to do anything about it. “I’m sorry.”

  Conner grunted. “Dad and Mason’s mom. You and Mason’s dad. What the—” He scrubbed his face, muting the last word. “Did you have a thing for him before?”

  “He was nothing more than a friend.” Conner didn’t look convinced. “How would you have felt if it had been someone else and we were openly dating?”

  “Have you? Been seeing other people and not telling me?”

  “No. I wasn’t interested until I got around Hayden more.”

  His face stretched into an incredulous expression. “When? I mean…when?”

  “We talked on the phone. First about you and Mason. Then us. We’ve both been through the same experience, been hurt the same way, and we just bonded, I guess. I really care about him.” I feared how strongly I felt about Hayden. Other than sex and talking on the phone late at night, we didn’t spend a lot of time together.

  “Does Dad know?”

  “Why would I tell him?”

  His eyes went wide. “Someone’s got to.”

  “Why, Conner? Why is my dating life any of his business?”

  His jaw clenched. “Just seems like he should know about you and Coach Lennox.”

  A large part of me wanted to flaunt my relationship with Hayden in Kyle’s face. But ultimately, I was done with him. “I only need to talk to your father about you. Nothing else.”

  “Mason’s going to tell his mom. He probably already has.”

  My stomach sank. “That’s honestly between Mason and his father.” I rubbed my temples. A headache was setting in quickly, and it had nothing to do with being hungry. But an empty stomach didn’t help. “Let’s eat dinner, and we can talk more if you have any questions.”

  I didn’t wait for his response. Maybe he’d come around, maybe he wouldn’t. It all hung in stasis until Hayden was done with work.

  Dinner was painfully quiet. Conner ate, and just like he did when news broke of his father leaving, he retreated downstairs. But he commented that he wasn’t up to driving tonight.

  Getting a kid through divorce was like the two-step dance, but sometimes it was one step forward and two or three steps back.

  I cleaned up, and since I couldn’t concentrate on anything else, I slumped in the recliner and watched TV. While Conner had been washing his hands before dinner, I’d sent Hayden a quick message telling him to get ahold of me after he talked to Mason.

  The clock hit seven. Hayden would be done with co
nferences. Then he’d have a long talk with Mason. After that, I might hear from him. It could be another late-night conversation when we were both in bed.

  My muscles were finally loosening up, and my anxiety was uncoiling when headlights flashed outside. It wasn’t even eight yet. I didn’t have to get up to peer out the window. My main drapes were pulled back, and I could make out major details through the cream-colored shears.

  Was that Hayden’s SUV? I got up and went to the front door, holding my hand to my somersaulting gut. I’d feel better once Hayden and I had a game plan about how to get through this.

  He hit the doorbell before I answered. Swinging open the door, I wanted to shut it again once I saw his expression.

  His lips were in a line and his eyes were grim. He looked the same when I glimpsed him at the grocery store after our spouses left with each other. His hands were dug into his jacket pockets and warm air puffed out of his mouth.

  “Hayden. Come on in.”

  He stepped inside and tapped the snow off his loafers.

  I waited to shut the door behind him, but he didn’t step off the welcome mat. “Did you eat yet? I have leftover soup.”

  “I can’t stay long.” He finally met my gaze and I knew, just knew, this talk wasn’t going to be what I had hoped. “Mason was over here.”

  “Yes. He knows. They both do. How’s he doing?”

  “Not well.”

  I shook my head. “Over us? Why?” A few hours had passed. Mason had time to process the reality. He was probably still upset, but for Hayden to be this worried, it must be bad.

  “He said he would quit the team. He wants to move to the Bahamas to live with his mother.”

  “Will Carrie even take him?” I snapped. I should have more patience. Conner wasn’t acting out, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t weathering the same emotions Mason was.

  “She’s his mother.” Hayden sounded almost defensive. “I just talked to her, and she was ready to buy him a plane ticket. I finally talked her into waiting until both her and I can FaceTime with Mason and talk this through. How’s Conner?”