by Noah Harris
Adam smiled so wide that his cheeks actually hurt. “I’d like that.” He should have probably suggested the weekend. The weekend was a good time for dates, right? Scheduling the second date a week after the first made him seem excited but not too eager. People didn’t like it when you were too eager, right? He didn’t want to scare Josh away.
“How about tonight?” The words slipped out before he could stop them. He tried not to let his horror show.
Josh looked at him more fully, eyes widening in surprise. Adam felt a momentary sliver of dread welling up in his throat, threatening to choke him, before Josh’s lips slowly turned into that small, shy smile he always had, and the tension melted.
“I can do tonight,” he said with an edge of confidence and amusement.
Adam let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Great,” he said, running his fingers through his hair and trying to calm his erratic heartbeat. “Tonight is good.”
“What’d you have in mind?” Josh asked, picking up his sandwich again.
Adam laughed, a sudden and loud thing, too relieved to be embarrassed. “Actually, I have no clue. It was kinda... a whim. I want to spend time with you.”
Josh smile was growing. A beautiful thing. Still small and shy but growing bigger by the second, urged on by his soft chuckle. “Yeah, I can understand that. I guess we can just wing it?”
“Winging it sounds great.”
Adam was caught up in Josh’s eyes, reveling in how the light from the window brought out the green emerald depths, when his phone buzzed on the table, tearing violently through the content silence. They both jumped, and he sent Josh an apologetic smile before picking up his phone.
He realized he had several texts waiting for him.
One was from Jack, one of the pack’s officials, asking him to come in after work to sort through more of the pack’s paperwork.
Another was from Sarah, asking him to come by to help with the final details of arranging Eddie’s death with the local authorities.
A third was from Millie, simply telling him that there were some things he needed to know about being Alpha, and that he should stop by the pack house after work.
Well... it looked like he was going to the pack house.
He hadn’t realized his frown was so prominent until he felt a gentle hand on his arm. “What’s wrong?” Josh asked, voice kind and eyes worried.
It was then that Adam felt the tension in his own shoulders, the frown tugging his lips down, the furrow in his brows and the hardness of his expression. He forced himself to relax, dragged up an apologetic smile.
“Just... family things—” He cut himself off, blinking for a moment.
He stared at Josh, something clicking into place. “Family things” had always been his excuse when he had to explain himself. Everyone who knew him, however, knew that he never actually explained his family. He was pretty sure Rob thought the pack was some kind of crazy adopted family situation. Or maybe he saw it as close friends who called themselves family. Adam never minded. It was essentially what a pack was. But... Josh wasn’t human.
That meant that Adam could actually be honest with him. It was an odd feeling, a fluttering lightness in his chest. It was exciting, to be able to be honest in this way.
He cleared his throat. “It’s... a pack thing,” he said, feeling the exhilarating strangeness of saying that to someone outside his own pack.
Josh’s eyes widened, understanding in those green depths, his mouth falling open into a small O.
“Oh!” he said, then softer, “Oh, I understand.” He said in a way that was neither disappointed nor condescending. The expression on his face told Adam that he really did understand. “Is everything alright?”
Adam sighed, turning his phone off and setting it aside. “Yeah, everything is fine, but they want me to come by the pack house tonight to take care of a few things.” Regret filled his gut and soured his momentary excitement. “I’m... afraid I’m going to have to ask for a raincheck?”
The smile Josh gave him was kind, and while there was some disappointed sadness there, it wasn’t as prevalent as Adam feared it might be. He leaned forward, putting his hand on Adam’s. “It’s okay. We can reschedule.”
Adam felt his lips twitch into a small smirk. “Like, tomorrow?”
“Eager, aren’t we?” Josh chuckled, and it was one of the most beautiful sounds Adam had ever heard. A thrill shot through him.
Adam’s grin widened as he leaned closer, voice lowering. “I don’t know about you, but I sure am.”
They were close. Josh’s hand was on Adam’s, both resting on his thigh. Josh’s eyes flickered down to Adam’s lips before snapping back, gazing at him from beneath his lashes as he breathed, “I am, too.”
Then the door to the conference room opened abruptly, bringing with it boisterous laughter and conversation from their co-workers, and they jumped apart. Heat flared to his face, but he ignored it, glancing sideways at Josh in time to see his small, sheepish smile.
Adam shut the door behind him and leaned against it with a heavy sigh. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back, resting it against the door and simply letting himself enjoy the silence.
It wasn’t true silence, however. With his sensitive hearing, and given how many people were in the pack house, he could still hear things. He could hear the faint laughter of children. He could hear the muted conversations of adults. He could hear pots and dishes clinking from the kitchen and the distant sound of televisions and music. But right here, right now, in this small room, he was alone, and the silence was refreshing.
He opened his eyes, glancing around. He was in a small parlor, just a simple sitting room off to the side of the house in a wing that wasn’t used as often. The main house was huge, and the surrounding property had smaller homes for pack members. It was well into the evening, and he was willing to bet people were settling into their nightly routines, leaving rooms like this vacant for the time being.
He wouldn’t complain. It gave him a place to hide when he needed a breather. And boy, did he need a breather.
He collapsed into one of the armchairs nestled around the coffee table at the center of the room. He sighed again, slouching in the chair, stretching his legs out in front of him as he pulled out his phone. He had a few messages from Josh. Seeing the man’s name on his phone never failed to make him smile.
Josh: Hey! There’s supposed to be a meteor shower tonight! Do you want to um... watch it? Or something?
Josh: I know of a park that’s usually empty that we can go to
Josh: We can grab food before?
A wave of disappointment and guilt crashed through him, washing away his smile. “Goddammit...” He muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair and tugging at the roots. He wanted to go. He really fucking wanted to go. But he had responsibilities that weren’t completely taken care of yet. Honestly, he was starting to wonder if they would ever be taken care of.
Previously, he hadn’t known just how much work went into being a pack’s Alpha. Eddie always seemed so boisterous, so under control, so relaxed. He’d seemed like the kind of guy who cruised through life without any problems. Adam had known that being Alpha came with responsibilities, and he’d guessed that running a pack was a lot of work, he just hadn’t truly realized how much effort it could take.
Turns out, it was a lot of work.
For the past week, Adam had been going to the pack house every day after work, and he always ended up staying so late that when he was done, all he wanted to do was go home and crash. He didn’t hang out with Josh Monday after work, or Tuesday, or Wednesday. It kept getting pushed back as more and more things came up that required his attention. Now it was Saturday, and Adam wasn’t exactly in the best of spirits. He hadn’t seen Josh since Wednesday at work, and even though they’d been talking frequently, he just wanted to see the omega again. Alone, without work or anyone else around to interrupt them.
He was, quite
honestly, starting to wonder if it was worth it. He really wanted to see Josh. He did. He wanted something to come of this. He loved the butterflies in his stomach whenever he saw him, and the way his heart never seemed to calm down whenever Josh was near. But this life, becoming the Alpha... it was a lot of time-consuming work.
He knew there was more work than usual at the moment, with Eddie’s questionable death and tension in the pack high. And he was certain that one day it would even out. He just hoped that day wasn’t so far in the future that he’d lose his chance with Josh.
Adam: That sounds amazing. I’d really like to, but...
Josh: Let me guess. Pack business?
Adam: Bingo :/
Josh: Your pack keeps you really busy...
Adam: It’s just... a really hectic time right now, with the change in leadership and everything
Josh: I know, you’ve told me. It can’t be easy being the Alpha
Adam: It’s not. Sometimes I wish there was someone else who could do it
Josh: Then... why don’t you let someone else do it?
Adam: What?
Josh: Never mind, it’s not my place...
Adam: No, come on, tell me. You know I value your opinion, Josh. You can speak your mind with me
Josh: I just... don’t want to overstep my boundaries
Adam: You won’t, I promise
Josh: It’s just... if you don’t WANT to be Alpha, surely there are other candidates who would take on the role in your place? You said your pack was pretty big...
Adam: I mean... yeah, there are, but... It’s not that I don’t WANT to be Alpha, it’s just a lot more work than I anticipated, that’s all
Adam: Besides, our last Alpha wanted me to take his place, and I was always the favorite for next Alpha, so I don’t want to let anyone down
Josh: I don’t think you could if you tried :) they’re lucky to have you as Alpha, Adam. You’ll do a great job
Adam: Glad I have your vote of confidence
Josh: I’m sure you’re doing your best, and I’m sure they can see that, so stop worrying so much
Josh: You’ve got this :)
Adam: Thanks, Josh, I appreciate it
Josh: Anytime ^_^
Adam: I just wish I could show you my appreciation in person :/
Josh: Soon, I’m sure ^_^ we just gotta be patient
Adam: Will you?
Josh: Will I what?
Adam: Be patient? I know we haven’t really... talked much about what’s happening with us, but... I really want to get to know you better, and I just don’t want this to come between us
Josh: I want this too
Josh: I’ll wait for you, Adam, don’t worry
Adam: Thank you
Josh: Just let me know when you’re free
Adam: I will
He set his phone on his lap as he put an elbow on the arm of the chair, resting his chin in his open palm and staring out the window across the room. He could see the lawn of the pack house. Several teenagers kicked a ball around, chasing each other and laughing. They were his responsibility now, them and everyone else. At least... if he actually made it to Alpha.
Nothing was set in stone quite yet. He was working as acting Alpha, but his position wouldn’t be solidified until the next full moon. If no one challenged him then, he would continue to act as Alpha until the full moon after that. It usually took three moons of no challenges before an Alpha’s position was seen as solid and unquestionable. Until then, he would have to make himself better known in the pack, gain more support, situate himself as a good leader and irreplaceable.
He’d spent so long hiding off to the side of the pack. He was close friends with several of the higher-ups, and was often seen in Eddie’s shadow, but he was never at the center of events or debates or politics, not like Millie and some of the others. He was, however, seen as trustworthy, strong, and sturdy, and that was probably how he had managed to gain so much favor. He would have to work hard to keep it, however, to step out of Eddie’s shadow and into his shoes. And they were big shoes to fill.
The sound of the door creaking open caught his attention. He didn’t turn to look, but her scent proceeded her, filling the room powerfully and absolutely. Even if he didn’t recognize her by that, he would have the moment she spoke.
“I thought I might find you in here,” Millie said, voice light and amused.
“How did you know?” he asked mildly, still staring out the window.
“You used to come here for peace and quiet when we were younger. And I had a feeling you were craving some peace and quiet.” She closed the door softly behind her and strode across the room, stopping at a cabinet that held several decanters of amber liquid and a shelf of crystal glasses. “Brandy or whiskey?”
“Whiskey,” he hummed, and she poured the glasses.
She handed him his glass, which he took gratefully, before she sat on the couch next to his chair. She sat back gracefully, crossing her legs and resting one arm across the armrest as she sipped her drink. Adam raised his own to his lips and drank, enjoying the familiar burn.
They were both silent for a long moment, and for that moment, it was nice. But he knew she couldn’t be still for long. “You know...” she started, trailing off. She stared down at her glass, running a fingertip along the edge. “The life of pack Alpha will be anything but peace and quiet.”
He scoffed quietly, looking back to the window. “If this past week is anything to go by, then I know.”
“You can’t always run from them. You have to show them you are strong. You have to be strong.”
“I know, Millie. I know.”
“You will need strong support. People you trust to be your voice when you can’t be around. I can be that voice for you.”
He sighed, loud and long, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “Millie... We’ve been over this...”
“And we’ll continue to go over it until you see reason, Adam,” she said stiffly. “You can’t do this on your own.”
“I can, and I will.”
“Prove it.”
“What?”
“I said, prove it.” She set her glass down loud enough to draw his attention. When he looked at her, she was leaning forward, forearms on her knees, gaze hard as she stared him down. They stared until her expression softened just a fraction. “Look, Adam, I know you’re capable. I’ve known you my whole life. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve been groomed for this. But if you want it, you’re going to have to take it. You can’t hide from it. An Alpha doesn’t wait around and wait for things to fall into place, hoping and dreaming. An Alpha needs to take charge and take what he wants. If you want this pack, prove it. Take it.” She paused before speaking more softly, but with equal intensity. “If you don’t, someone else will.”
He regarded her coolly. He knew her well enough to know she was serious, just as she had been last time she made the same threat. “So you’ve said,” he said. Setting his glass on the table, he took his phone and pushed himself to his fee.
She blinked at him, watching with confusion and surprise as he walked toward the door. “Where are you going?”
“I’m taking your advice. I’m taking what I want.” He looked at her, one hand on the door. “If any of the others need me, tell them I’ll be back tomorrow. Tonight, I have things to do.”
“You can’t just leave—“
“I can, and I am.”
She stood, expression contorting into something hard, incredulous, confused, and outraged. “You can’t just leave the pack whenever you feel like it!”
“I’m not chained to the pack, Millie. They’re perfectly functional and will survive just fine for one night without an Alpha lording over them. Call me if there’s an emergency, if not, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He left, closing the door behind him. He forced himself to take deep breaths, attempting to steady his pounding heart. Guilt welled up in him, uncertainty, no doubt. He didn’t know if he was
doing the right thing, but... Millie had made a good point. He needed to take what he wanted. And he also knew that he was right. The pack would be fine without him there twenty-four-seven. Everything would be alright.
Excitement and adrenaline raced through his veins, making his fingers shake as he typed.
Adam: Change of plans
Adam: I can make it tonight. So... dinner and some meteor watching?
_________________________
“I don’t think we’ll be able to see much of anything.” Adam said, a light lilt to his voice.
Despite his teasing, Josh frowned at the sky. “The weather report said there was only a minor chance of rain...” he mumbled.
Adam’s smile widened, and he leaned back on the bench, laying an arm along the back of it behind Josh’s shoulders. The other man leaned back a moment later, bringing his pleasant warmth close. “That usually means it’s going to be cloudy,” Adam pointed out.
“Yeah, but...” Josh huffed and laced his fingers together, jamming his hands between his thighs as he stared at the ground. His lips were pursed into a small frown that was bordering on a pout. “I was hoping it would be clearer, so we could at least see something...”
Adam gazed up at the night sky. “We can still see the stars through some of the gaps in the clouds.” Those spots were few and far between. The later it got, the cloudier it seemed to get as well.
“Not enough to see the meteor shower...” Josh grumbled. He heaved a heavy sigh, shoulder slumping further. “I’m sorry, Adam. I thought this would be a fun idea and stuff, but...”
“Hey, hey, it is a fun idea.” Adam said, voice soft and reassuring. His arm slid from the back of the bench and curled around Josh’s shoulders, pulling the smaller man against his side. Josh went willingly, slouching against him and tucking into his side like he was meant to be there.
“But we’re not going to get to see anything,” Josh mumbled. He sighed again.. “I’m really sorry. I thought this was a good idea, but... I should have known better. I got ahead of myself.”
