Sisters by Choice

by Susan Mallery

  “Is that what you really think? Is that how little I mean to you?”

  Heather waited, knowing her mother’s response could go either way. For a second Amber’s expression softened. Heather took a step toward her only to stop when Amber spoke.

  “Get what you came for and leave.”

  Heather thought about what was left in her room and decided she didn’t need any of it. She was going to walk away and never look back.

  She squared her shoulders. “I never had a choice. I was born into this family and made the best of a difficult situation. I’ve taken care of you since I was sixteen and you’ve never once thanked me. You could have decided to make things better, but you didn’t. You see darkness instead of light and you can’t imagine a point of view beyond your own. The only suffering you care about is your own. I’m leaving on Saturday, Mom. Don’t feel you have to come see me off. This is the perfect goodbye.”

  With that, she turned and walked out of the house. She drove back to Sophie’s and let herself inside. Sophie wasn’t home, so she sent her a quick text. She found Lily and Mrs. Bennet sunning on the sofa. Heather curled up next to them and gave in to tears. She cried for what she’d lost and what she’d never had.

  After a few minutes she felt both cats crawl onto her lap and rub against her, their warm, purring bodies offering comfort and the knowledge that, at least for the moment, she wasn’t alone.

  * * *

  “Bryce is taking both the cat trees and the quilts,” Maggie said. “I hate repeating myself, Sophie, but I get the feeling you’re not listening.”

  Sophie sighed. “I heard you. It’s great. I’m thrilled.”

  “You could try showing it a little more. This is great news. We’ll be in upscale boutiques across the country before the holidays. This is just the beginning for us. That market has incredible margins and we’re going to get a piece of it.”

  “I’m really happy,” Sophie told her, trying to inject enthusiasm into her voice. She was happy. Thrilled, even. The company was doing well. Elliot’s campaigns were performing above expectation. The packages were sailing out at record rates. The CK bank balance was happily huge. She should be delighted. And she was. Sort of.

  “I’m unsettled,” she admitted.

  Maggie raised her eyebrows. “Are you going to talk about your personal life, because that is not anywhere I want to go. No offense.”

  Sophie grinned. “None taken. Thank you for a job well-done. I appreciate all the hard work. You have lived up to your reputation.”

  “Yes, well, it was fun.” Maggie shuffled her papers, then looked at Sophie. “We bought a house.”

  “Really?”

  “The kids love it here and Nelson has found a great job and it seemed like the right thing to do.” Her mouth twisted. “I can’t believe I’m two hours from the airport. It’s ridiculous. But here we are.”

  Sophie knew better than to gush—Maggie wasn’t the type to appreciate that. “Check out Payne Field in Everett. They’re getting more and more commercial flights and it will save you the drive down to Sea-Tac. And congratulations on the house.”

  “Thank you.”

  Maggie excused herself and left. Sophie turned back to her computer screen but even the happy numbers there couldn’t capture her attention.

  She told herself things were good. Kristine and Jaxsen had figured things out and were back together. Kristine’s store was opening in a few days. Heather was heading off to college on Saturday. And speaking of Heather...

  Sophie walked down the hall and into Heather’s tiny office. Heather was busy, typing away, looking intense as she paused to study her notes.

  “When’s your last day?” Sophie asked.

  Heather jumped, then laughed. “Sorry. I didn’t see you. I’m trying to wrap up a few things before the end of the week. I want to work as much as I can. You know, for the money.”

  Which was very much like Heather. Sophie looked at her. “You need to take a couple of days to get ready. I’ll pay you through the end of the week, regardless.”

  “No, I’d rather work. If I’m at home, I’ll just start obsessing about things.”

  Sophie took the only other chair in the room and sat down. “You were in bed when I got home last night. How did it go with your mom?”

  Heather’s expression tightened. “It was fine.”

  “You don’t look like it was fine.” Sophie’s stomach tightened. “Did she say anything mean? Was she the least bit friendly? Was she upset you were leaving?”

  “Why all the questions?”

  Too late Sophie realized she’d given too much away. “Um, no reason. Just wondering if your mom is ever going to change.”

  “What did you do?”

  “Me? Nothing.”

  Heather stared at her. “Sophie, tell me. You know I’ll find out eventually.”

  Sophie briefly wondered if she could fake her way out of the situation. She knew she could play the “you don’t need to know” card, but that seemed out of keeping with their relationship. Besides, Heather was right—she would find out eventually.

  “I want you to have this chance,” she said instead. “You’re such a great kid and you’ve been dealing with your mom since you were born and if you don’t get away, she’ll suck the life out of you. Plus, I love you.”

  “I love you, too. What did you do?”

  “Not distracted by the glory that is you?”

  Heather didn’t smile.

  “Okay, fine. I bought her a condo. I’m covering the expenses for the first year, then she’s on her own. But the condition was she had to be nice to you about your leaving.” Sophie winced, remembering her conversation with her cousin. “I didn’t know she hadn’t been told about your leaving for USC. That didn’t go well.”

  Heather stood up, walked around her desk, then hugged Sophie. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’ll pay you back, I swear.”

  “Hey, no paying me back. This was my decision. My choice. Only me.” Well, Elliot and Dugan had been a big part of her making up her mind, but why go into that. “Like I said, I love you. I wanted to help you get away without worrying about your mom.”

  Heather straightened and returned to her chair. When she sat down, she sighed. “You’re so good to me, Sophie. You and Elliot and Kristine.” She smiled. “She’s taking me shopping tomorrow. She says I have to have cool clothes if I’m going to hang out in LA. Everyone is being so wonderful.”

  And your mother? Is she being wonderful? Only in that moment, Sophie realized she had her answer. Of course Amber hadn’t been pleasant. It wasn’t in her nature. But making Heather rat out her own mother only made things worse. The kid had gone through enough. She was getting her chance and that should be enough. Regardless of what had happened, Sophie knew she wasn’t taking back the condo. Not because of Amber, but because that would mean Heather was trapped forever.

  “What if you’re discovered?” Sophie asked, her voice teasing. “Will you remember us when you’re a famous actress?”

  “Oh, please. That isn’t going to happen.” Her smile faded. “About my mom...” she began.

  Sophie stood and crossed to the door. “Don’t worry, kid. I know she did what she did and that’s okay. I’m looking at the bigger picture.” She started to walk out, then paused, feeling more unnamed emotions swelling up inside her. She turned back to Heather.

  “Whatever happens, I’m always here for you. I’m a phone call away. When the CK offices burned down, Kristine was on the next flight out of Seattle. I’m making you the same promise. If something happens, I’ll be there in a heartbeat. No matter what it is.”

  Heather’s eyes filled with tears. “I know. Thank you.”

  Sophie waved and walked back toward her office. Once she got there, she looked at her computer, then groaned. She just couldn’t focus. She got her bag an
d walked out, swinging by Tina’s desk to tell her she would be gone for a couple of hours.

  It only took fifteen minutes to drive to Dugan’s house. When she arrived, she marched up to the front door, only to realize she had no idea what she was going to say.

  “Take me to Paris” seemed like an option, except they’d already talked about the south of France and didn’t that make things too France-centric? Italy was a possibility. Or Hong Kong. She’d always wanted to go to Hong Kong.

  Just not today, she thought, ringing the bell. When he answered, she narrowed her gaze. “What is this game you’re playing? Are we a couple or not? What do you want from me and why won’t you sleep with me?”

  He stepped back to let her inside, but didn’t close the door. Not exactly a promising beginning.

  “You first,” he told her, his voice gentle. “You first, Sophie. What do you want us to be? A couple? Friends with benefits? Where do you see us short-term and long-term? Is there a long-term?”

  “I don’t know. Relationships aren’t my thing.”

  One corner of his mouth turned up. That man, she thought, trying not to be distracted by how good he looked.

  “I figured that out the first day,” he said. “But here’s the thing. I’m not willing to just be a convenience. I know you’re comfortable being in charge and I’m okay with that—to a point. I know you’re never going to want anything traditional. You’re not the type to dream about getting married and having kids. I can handle that. But for this to work, you have to be willing to care about me.”

  This was so much more information than she’d wanted. She’d been hoping he would say he was just waiting for her to ask for sex or something. Why did everything have to be so touchy-feely? People said women were emotional creatures, but they were wrong.

  “I don’t know what that means.”

  “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her so she was facing the door, then gave her a little push. When she was on the front porch, he spoke again.

  “I want more, Sophie. I want you to admit you’re in love with me. That’s all. No commitment, no promise of forever. Just that you love me. When you can say that, then I’ll seduce you fifty ways to Sunday. But until then, no.”

  She stood on the large front porch, staring at the front lawn, her mind swirling and sputtering. Love him? Love him!

  She spun to face him, opened her mouth only to realize the man had already shut the door.

  “That’s all?” she yelled. “Sure. Why not? Do you need a kidney, too?” As if saying she loved him was no big deal. As if she loved him at all. Because she didn’t. She couldn’t. Love was hard. It left her vulnerable. She didn’t want love.

  “I just wanted to get laid,” she grumbled as she made her way to her car. “I hate men. All of them.” Love. As if. She wasn’t good at relationships. How could he not know that? Except for her immediate family, she had failed at pretty much every relationship she’d had. She’d probably failed with her family, too, only they were stuck with her.

  She got in her car and looked back at the house. How could he just say that? Love him. No. She couldn’t. She didn’t. She wouldn’t. Of that she was sure.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Jaxsen set down his spoon and pushed his bowl of ice cream away. His brow furrowed as he stared at her intently.

  “What I hear you saying is that you think we should review the family budget to see if there’s enough money for us to buy the tent trailer I talked about before.”

  Kristine nodded. “That is what I was saying.”

  He looked at the printed page on the table as if trying to use the format there to form his sentences. “That statement confuses me. I’m happy to talk about the tent trailer, but I also feel guilty because the last time I brought it up, we had a fight.” He hesitated. “I was trying to get you to spend your grandmother’s money. That makes me feel bad about myself.”

  He swore under his breath. “I swear I can feel myself growing breasts.”

  She held in a giggle and glanced at the timer. “Only three more minutes.”

  They were working on their homework assignment after their first therapy session. They were to talk about something they’d fought about before, using the structure the therapist had suggested.

  “I don’t want you to feel bad about yourself,” she said, looking at her own page. “I want you and the boys to have fun together. That’s important to me. It makes me feel good about us. I know you were trying to guilt me and I understand the reasons. I don’t like the behavior but I separate that from who you are as my husband.” She raised her gaze to his. “I feel really awful that you thought I was saving the money to leave you, Jaxsen. I would never do that.”

  He reached out his hand and squeezed her fingers. “I know that now.”

  “I wish you’d known it before.”

  The timer dinged.

  “Hallelujah!” he said, pulling his bowl toward him. “The homework is hard.”

  “It is, but I’m glad we’re doing it. I know the way she wants us to do stuff is awkward, but in time it will be easier and I think it will help when we have a real fight.”

  “We’re never going to fight again, baby. You know that.”

  She grinned. “If only.”

  He tilted his head. “The homework is done, the boys are all at sleepovers and we have the rest of the evening to ourselves. Let’s go upstairs and have some fun.”

  She smiled. “I’d like that.”

  He stood and circled around to her side of the table, then pulled her to her feet. “What I hear you saying is you’re interested in us making love.”

  “That is what I’m saying.”

  “This homework thing is starting to work for me.” He led the way to the stairs. “Remember when we were on our honeymoon and we got into the bathtub together? You were in front and I did all kinds of things to you while you watched?”

  “I remember everything about that night.”

  “Good. Then let’s see if we can re-create it.”

  She shivered at the thought of it, then grabbed his hand and started up the stairs.

  “Let’s!”

  * * *

  “I can’t believe you’re leaving,” Daphne admitted as she helped carry boxes to the car.

  Heather put one on the backseat, then took the second from Daphne and shoved it beside the first.

  “I can’t, either,” Heather said, knowing she couldn’t possibly explain the overflow of emotions swirling around inside her.

  She looked around at the quiet neighborhood, not that different from where she’d grown up. She knew every inch of the island and still couldn’t comprehend that in two days she would be in Los Angeles, moving into her new apartment. A few weeks after that she would take her first class at USC. It was equally miraculous and terrifying.

  Daphne linked arms with her. “So I’m thinking of going to grad school. I have no idea what I want to do with myself when I graduate and the parents would be thrilled for me to continue my education. Especially my dad. You know he’s all about higher learning.”

  “An MBA?” Heather asked. “Or law school?”

  Daphne rolled her eyes. “Law school? No and no. Definitely an MBA, so here’s the thing. USC has one of the best MBA programs in the country. I’ll be done in two years and when that happens, you’ll still have two years to go. I could get my MBA there. We could share a house and you know, hang out.”

  Heather had been dealing with a series of highs and lows over the past couple of weeks. She knew she was a mess and everything was too close to the surface, so she wasn’t surprised that she wanted to throw herself at Daphne and burst into tears.

  She managed to keep herself together enough to say, “You’d want to do that?”

  “Of course. It would be fun. I love UW but I�
��m ready to try something new. Plus, in third grade you and I did a pinkie swear that we’d go to the same college. We need to make that happen.”

  Daphne hugged her. “I’m going to miss you so much, but going away is good for you. You’ll have a little time between summer school and the fall semester starting. I’ll drive down and we can hang out. Plus, I can see the campus.” She grinned. “The parents love it when I do research and show how responsible I am.”

  “Thank you,” Heather whispered, wanting to say so much more but unable to find the words. She knew Daphne’s offer was not a throwaway comment. Her friend was the type who got things done. If Daphne decided she wanted to get her MBA from USC, she would make it happen.

  They finished loading the car, then said their final goodbyes and Daphne left. Heather had already been by to see Gina, who was deeply in the promise that was baby number two. She and Quincy were house hunting and moving forward with their lives.

  Heather went inside to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. Sophie joined her, standing in the doorway to the guest bedroom.

  “You doing okay?”

  Heather nodded. “I’m excited.”

  “But scared,” Sophie said.

  “Yes, that, too. Everything happened so fast.”

  Sophie leaned against her door frame. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You can stay here.”

  “No, that’s not an option.” Leaving might be uncomfortable, but there was no way she was going to stay here.

  “Just checking.” She walked into the room and sat on the bed, then patted the space next to her. When Heather was settled, Sophie continued.

  “I’m really proud of you. Leaving isn’t easy, even when it’s the right thing to do. Your relationship with your mother is complicated. Parents can make things better and worse and often do both at the same time.”

  Heather nodded. “She’s not going to come say goodbye.”