by A. Aubry
Storming out of the stadium with Bo, Drake, and Jordan in tow, I walked back to my car. I got in the driver’s seat, slamming my door shut and hitting my hand on the steering wheel so hard that it almost hurt. Just then, a familiar car pulled up in front of the stadium and I watched as Natalie got in the passenger seat, kissing none other than her best friend, Matt. She fucking lied about everything. She did this to break me and Julianna up so that I could be miserable while she was happy. That fucking bitch.
At the party that Bo and I were throwing at my place to celebrate our first home game of the season, I wasn’t exactly celebrating. Rather, I was in my room, sitting on my bed and flipping through the pictures of me and Julianna on my phone. She’d been posting on her Snapchat that she was out drinking and having fun with friends. That was very odd for her because Julianna rarely ever drank. My finger paused over one of the many pictures that we had taken during the Saint Paul Winter Carnival. Even though it was just over a month ago, that day was still fresh in my mind.
“Why do I do this every year when I know that I will most likely freeze to death?” Julianna murmured to herself as she shivered.
I laughed, “I told you we could’ve stayed home but you were all ‘No, Finn, this is such a big event. We should go.’.”
She raised an eyebrow at me, “I did not say it in that high squeaky voice.”
“Yeah, it was more of a moan,” I teased.
The elderly couple that was walking by looked at us before hurriedly scurrying off.
“Finn!” Julianna playfully pushed me.
The ice castle that was built every year began to light up as it got darker.
“Come on, let’s take one more picture then we will go get some hot chocolate before the parade,” I offered bringing my phone out of my pocket.
Julianna happily wrapped her arms around my torso, holding herself close against me. Holding my phone up to get the lit-up castle behind us, Julianna surprised me by leaning up on her tiptoes and kissing me as I pressed the shutter button. My arm dropped down to my side as the arm that was around her shoulders pulled her closer, the kiss deepening. We didn’t care who saw us, it was about us in that moment.
“I love you, Julianna,” I whispered after our kiss broke apart and our lips hovered millimeters away from one another.
“I love you more, Finn.”
I pursed my lips, trying to fight off the tears that were threatening to come out. There was no way that I lost this perfect girl. I promised I would always be there to love and protect her.
“How ya doing?” Bo asked as he quietly knocked on my semi-opened door.
“How does it look like I’m doing? My girlfriend broke up with me because my ex-girlfriend is the biggest bitch this world has ever seen,” I sighed, locking my phone and dropping it on the bed.
He sat down on the end of my bed, “I’ve never seen you like this, Finn.”
Like what? Completely shattered?
“You weren’t even like this when you and Natalie broke up. Hell, I’ve seen you through a couple of break ups and you were never like this.”
Maybe because I wasn’t as in love with them as I was with Julianna.
“I love her, man. Like so much that it fucking hurts. I was thinking about proposing to her…”
Bo’s eyes got wide, “Are you being serious right now?”
I reached into my bedside table and pulled the black velvet box out that held the ring I had picked out on a whim a week ago before tossing it to Bo, “Does that look serious enough for you?”
He opened the box and whistled through his teeth, “Fuck.”
Staying silent, Bo tossed me the ring back. I opened it and examined the large center cut diamond. It was simple yet beautiful, just like Julianna.
Bo hit my leg, “Let’s go get your girl back.”
“How am I supposed to do that? She won’t answer my calls or respond to my texts.”
“You wanna marry her, right? Then you should know how to win her back.”
I nodded and got up off the bed, dropping the ring box back into my bedside table drawer and grabbing my phone. As Bo drove us down to The Loop, it hit me that Angie was there with Julianna.
“You’re just coming along because you want to see Angie, aren’t you?” I looked over at him.
A small smile came over his face, “Maybe.”
“And to think that I thought you cared about me and Julianna being together,” I rolled my eyes.
“Shut up and figure out what you’re going to say to your future wife.”
My future wife. That had a nice ring to it.
When we got to the bar, I couldn’t keep myself from running in. I spotted the group that had been splattered all over Julianna’s Snapchat but when I got to the table, Julianna wasn’t there.
“Where’s Julianna?” I called out over the music.
It was one of Julianna’s favorite songs. The way she swayed her hips to it as she sang along while she cooked or cleaned drove me wild.
“She’s on the dance floor with Angie!” A male I didn’t know responded.
Made sense, she did love this song. I clued Bo in on what was going on and began to force myself through the crowd. Just as I saw Julianna in the crowd, I saw fucking red. A man was pressed up behind her, swaying with her to the music. She moved on from me that quickly?
As my heart started to shatter, Julianna turned around in this random guy’s arms. No, please don’t kiss him, Julianna. He doesn’t deserve you like I do. When her hand went to his chest, I thought I could physically feel my heart start to break, but that was when I noticed she looked to be pushing herself away from the guy. I moved toward her as fast as my legs would allow.
“Get away from me!” I heard her shout over the music.
That was it, I needed to protect my girl. I pulled my arm back, formed my hand into a fist, and slammed it as hard as I could into the man’s cheek. He instantly released Julianna and practically ran the other direction. I should’ve chased after the fucker, taught him a lesson on how to treat and respect a lady. Julianna just stood there and stared at me, her mouth slightly agape. Damn, did she look gorgeous in a short peach colored dress or what?
Just as I took a step forward towards Julianna, Angie cut in front of her, “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk with Julianna,” I held out my hand for her, my eyes never leaving hers, “Come take a walk with me.”
Her head shook quickly back and forth, “I’m not going anywhere with you. You have your girlfriend back, go find her and take a walk.”
Her words cut right through me. I only wanted her, couldn’t she see that? I changed tactics and went with what I planned in the car.
“Julianna, please. One walk, that’s all I’m asking for. If you never want to see me again after that then I will leave you alone.”
I silently prayed that that wouldn’t be the case, but I knew if I just sat here and bothered her about coming to talk to me she would just avoid me even more. Julianna looked over at Angie who was telling her not to come with me. Well, geez, it took her less than a few hours to hate me. My blood pounded in my ears as I waited for her answer. Her mouth didn’t move but her hand ended up in mine. Thank fuck.
Angie tried to get Julianna’s attention and Julianna responded to her before looking back at me. I couldn’t hear what they said over the loud music, so I took that as my cue that Julianna was going to come with me. Zigzagging through the massive amounts of people, we finally ended up outside. My attention turned back to Julianna who had goosebumps all over her arms as she tried to warm her arms with her hands while we walked. I only just noticed that she was a few inches taller thanks to some wedged heels she was wearing.
“You didn’t wear a jacket tonight?” I asked a little too harshly.
“I brought a jacket, you just didn’t give me time to grab it,” Julianna responded with an attitude I should’ve expected.
Shaking my head, I took off my jacket and put it arou
nd Julianna. It was March, so it was starting to get warmer, but that didn’t mean it was warm enough for a sleeveless dress. When we sat down on the bench that we had spent most of our first meeting at, I hoped it would bring back some good memories for her. I needed all the help I could get seeing as she had a lot to drink.
“How much have you had to drink tonight?” I questioned, wondering if she would tell me the truth.
“None of your fucking business, that’s how much,” she spit as she protectively crossed her arms in front of her, effectively shutting me out.
Note to self: alcohol makes Julianna very sassy and honest.
“Fair enough. From what Snapchat tells me, you’ve had four mojitos and a shot.”
“I’m not completely drunk, if that’s what you are wondering. I ate when I got here, and we were just eating some fries before Angie and I went to go dance. All I have is a slight buzz going…even though now it’s quickly dying.” She refused to look at me.
I shifted in my seat, turning towards her, “I just want you aware for this conversation.”
“You want to make sure I hear one hundred percent that you got back with Natalie? Don’t worry, ‘Finny’, I got the message loud and clear at the stadium,” she sighed heavily.
God, I seriously hated that fucking name. Even hearing Julianna say it I could hear how ridiculous it sounded.
“What kind of fucking name is Finny anyways? Do you really find that attractive? Because I find it absolutely disgusting,” Julianna cut off whatever I was going to say.
She was right, it was disgusting. I opened my mouth to speak again, only to have Julianna cut me off with her rambling. This was like Natalie cutting me off all over again.
“And the part that you were desperate when you started dating me? You were anything but, if anything I was the fucking desperate one in all of this. You and your stupid sex god ways and good looks getting my head all in a damn tizzy.”
Hey, at least she still thought I was a sex god and good looking. When she started going on, I had just given up on even trying to say anything.
“How can you even be with someone who is like that, Finn? You are the sweetest guy on the entire planet. I’ve never heard you say one negative thing about anybody in the entire two months that I’ve known you and yet, you can date a girl who offers me a fucking garbage bag to wear.”
I definitely needed to shut her up so that I could tell my side of the fucking story.
She finally faced me, “And another thing—”
I finally just kissed her, knowing that that was the only means to get her to stop talking. Plus, it didn’t hurt that she was incredibly sexy when she got angry. She pulled away, her mouth hanging open at how I forced a kiss on her.
“What the hell, Finn? You’re with Natalie. You can’t just bounce back and forth between us.”
Oh, for the love of god when would she get it that I needed to be able to talk in all of this too?
“Just because you are some big hot shot soccer—”
I put my hand on her cheek and closed my mouth over hers again.
She pushed away from me and hit my arm, “Stop fucking doing that!”
“Then shut the fuck up so I can talk.”
Oops, that came out way louder than I thought it would. Yes, I was pissed she didn’t let me talk, but damn. She held up her hands and pursed her lips.
“I’m not with Natalie.”
“Then why—” I put my hand over her mouth.
She moved my hand away instantly but stayed silent.
“She came into the locker room to try to get me back,” I waited to see if she would interrupt again.
All clear.
“She had asked me flat out why I was with you and when we got together. I told her that we’d been together almost two months, hence why she thought you were a rebound. But I told her that I was with you because you were different than all the other girls I dated, that you caught my attention after a chance encounter and then that was that.”
I could finally take a second to catch my breath, knowing she wouldn’t interrupt.
“When you came in, I’ll admit, I kissed her. But that was only after she told me that if I kissed her, she would leave me alone for good. I wanted that for us, I wanted her to just disappear so that I could have you and not have to worry about what she would say to you.”
Julianna decided to say something, “You didn’t stand up for me, Finn. She put me down right in front of you, acted like I was nothing more than a fling to you, and you just stood there.”
I could see tears gathering in her eyes. Please don’t cry, I’m sorry.
“I was a fucking idiot, Julianna. She kept cutting me off whenever I started to talk. What happened, that was exactly what she wanted. She came with the exclusive plan to break us up. Natalie knew I could never say no to my mother if she asked me for a favor, so she took advantage of that. I don’t want her…I want you,” I sighed, finally happy that I put this all out there.
“You could’ve spoken up, you have a voice you know. Or you could have run after me when I walked out of that locker room—”
“I tried! Natalie kept pulling me back away from the door. I even yelled for you, but you didn’t hear me. The pain on your face, Jules, I never wanted to bring that pain to you.”
Carefully, I unfolded her arms and grabbed onto her hands. She needed to know that I was serious.
“I will spend every day, for as long as I live, to make it up to you if you’ll take me back. I love you, more than anything. I love your smile, your laugh, your eyes when you gaze back at me, your body, your lips, your mind. I love everything about you and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
Her eyes met mine, “What about Natalie?”
“Turns out, she’s still with that friend of hers, Matt. He showed up to pick her up at the game and I knew what she put on was one big act to end the only real thing I have ever had in my life. I don’t want her to succeed, baby, I need you,” I confessed.
I could see her considering what I’d said. What was she thinking? Did she still love me? Would she ever love me again?
“I love you, Finn. I’m just terrified you’ll hurt me again if I let you back in,” she finally whispered.
Holy fuck, she still loved me. My heart pounded in my chest, going a million miles a minute. I moved closer to her, hoping she wouldn’t move away. When she didn’t, I let out a breath.
“I will never hurt you again, I swear on my life.”
She bit her lip, “Maybe we should start over, like a clean slate? Take it slow?”
Slow? I didn’t know how to take it slow when it came to this girl. Slow was not even a word in my vocabulary when it came to Julianna.
Fuck, Finn, get your shit together. She was offering you a second chance, so take it.
“Can I still tell you that I love you?” That was something that she needed to know every day.
Julianna nodded her head slowly, “Only if you really mean it.”
“Oh, hell, Julianna. I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything in my life.”
I leaned in to kiss her, to prove that I was being honest, but her hand came up between us and I stopped. What the fuck?
“I don’t kiss strangers,” she quietly teased, the first smile of hers finally showing for me.
Oh, so she wanted to play a little game? I could do that to appease her.
I put my hand out for her, “I’m Finn McAllister, forward for the Minnesota United FC soccer team. And you are?”
Julianna took my hand, her smile growing wider, “Julianna McCall, journalist for the Star Tribune by day, novel writer by night.”
We shook hands, “Pleasure to meet you, Julianna.”
Her giggle took my breath away as I watched her scoot closer to me.
“How do you feel about kissing right after meeting someone?” The memory of our first kiss replayed in my head as I said the same thing I said to her two months ago.
“I don’
t know, I’ve never done it,” Julianna responded softly.
My mouth hovered over hers, “Me neither.”
The world stopped as our lips collided. And to think that I almost lost this.
Today, I met Julianna back to my place after stopping at the jewelry store to pick up a new chain for the necklace she tore off one week ago. My team and I were leaving for New Jersey tonight, and I was going to ask Julianna to come with me. I bought her a ticket, I subtly snuck her night time medications home with me last night to put in the bag of her things that I packed from here, and I got the okay from Coach Thompson to pay for my own private room at our hotel complete with king-size bed and, from what the receptionist told me, a great view. Tomorrow, I was going to propose to Julianna. The plan was still a working one, but I hoped that the end result of whatever I planned would be that I’d be engaged to the most perfect girl in the world.
Julianna and I hadn’t been sexually active for a week and that was torture. Granted, I had been the one to put it off this long. But I had a good reason. Julianna said that she wanted to take things slow and I didn’t want to force her back into our old routine. The second that she’d tell me that she was ready, I would go to bed with her. Then again, I was hesitant at the same time. What if after we did that something would happen, and we fell apart again? I couldn’t lose her twice. That was not in the cards for me.
When my wonderful girlfriend got home, we cooked dinner and ate together, her favorite of spaghetti but with my favorite of Italian chicken, before we settled in on the couch to watch a movie. My arm was around Julianna and I knew that Bo would be texting me soon to say that he was going to be getting me and Julianna soon. The thing was, I hadn’t gotten the courage up to ask her to come with me yet. Was I going to be this nervous when I proposed? Oh shit, what if she said that she didn’t want to go?
The credits of Transformers: The Last Knight played and I turned down the volume on the television. Julianna looked up at me and I could see the lust in her eyes. I was ready to throw her over my shoulder and take her upstairs but then that stupid voice in my head told me not to fuck this up by rushing her. Her eyes flicked back to the television screen, her face made a look as though she had just registered that the movie ended.
