The Summer Island Swap

by Samantha Tonge

  Rick was waiting at the canteen. As we filled our water bottles and ate aromatic starfruit and passionfruit, he discussed afternoon rotas with Jackie. Chatty stood perched on her shoulder. Rick kept teasingly holding the end of his tail.

  I whistled ‘Daydream Believer’ and went over to join them. The monkey stopped moving, just like yesterday. With a nod from Jackie and still whistling, I tickled his head. He didn’t jump this time. Perhaps he remembered the song.

  Amy came up behind me. ‘I can’t believe he likes that,’ she said and pulled a pained expression, cupping her hands over her ears.

  ‘Clearly he’s got great taste,’ I said airily, momentarily forgetting the tough morning ahead.

  ‘Right, let’s go. Everyone stay together,’ said Rick. ‘We don’t want any of you getting lost on your first proper day.’ He glanced my way and handed us each a machete and pair of gloves and demonstrated the best way to swing it from side to side and hack up and down.

  ‘The rainforest grows back incredibly quickly,’ he said, ‘so trail clearing is an on-going challenge. The bits you cut off, just throw them into nearby undergrowth. You’ll need to wear the gloves for handling the foliage as some is prickly or can sting. There are considerable distances between the different areas of Seagrass Island such as the animal enclosures and beach, so it saves time if we are able to walk as quickly as possible, along the manmade pathways.’

  ‘We must be careful, in case we risk cutting each other?’ said Benedikt in his crisp High German accent. Like everyone else, he was dressed in long trousers and a long-sleeve top. I stood out having quickly thrown on my three-quarter-length floral crop pants and flamingo-print T-shirt.

  ‘Yes,’ said Rick. ‘Although none of you should be in danger. This morning we’ll work on a fifty-metre strip and you’ll be spaced out so that you have about five metres each to work on.’

  ‘That doesn’t seem like much,’ said Jonas in a hopeful tone.

  ‘It’s not a ready established path,’ said Rick. ‘This is a new trail I want to create access to a marshy area near the top where we can observe a whole new range of amphibians and reptiles.’ He adjusted his Indiana Jones hat. ‘Right. Are we ready? Be careful and gentle with any wildlife you need to clear, such as beetles, spiders, frogs or grass snakes…’

  Everyone apart from Jonas and me looked excited. I already felt tired by the time we’d hiked up to the marshy area and my feet were hurting. Not even Benedikt and Amy’s rhythmic rendition of ‘The Bare Necessities’ could distract me. My fashionable trainers were far from supportive for uneven terrain but there was no way I was going to wear those clunky walking boots Amy had secretly packed.

  I was usually the queen of practicality but this would be my only holiday for months. I’d carefully chosen gorgeous new pieces for my summer wardrobe and couldn’t bear to leave them unworn.

  Also… it sounded ridiculous but I thought I’d look stupid in such cumbersome boots. They suited Amy and her more unisex dress sense. She could carry anything off – frills or straight lines, dresses or jump suits. But me? I needed clothes that were tailored to suit my figure.

  Memories flashed into my head of Dad criticising the appearance of a female weather forecaster or actress on the telly.

  Rick allotted us each a strip. I was the furthest away from the top with Amy in front of me. Slash. Swipe. Hack. Brush to one side. Throw. Scrape. This was a full workout. I went to swig from my water bottle. It was empty. Of course. I’d downed it all after that fruit and forgotten to refill. My mouth felt dry. I wanted to ask Amy for a swig of hers but didn’t want to draw attention to my mistake. It would only confirm what Rick already thought of me. I grabbed a handful of leaves and squealed as they revealed one of those big shiny millipedes. Feeling shaky, I dropped it to one side. A wave of dizziness washed over me as I cleared the ground of stones. Something felt strange inside my left glove. I took it off. Great. Two of my long nails had broken. I jumped as I noticed Rick by my side, looking at my hands.

  ‘How’s it going?’ he asked. ‘You aren’t quite keeping up with everyone else. In fact, your sister’s made fantastic headway. Perhaps it might be easier if you took off that unwieldy hat.’

  It wasn’t much bigger than his. Well, only a bit. The rim was really wide and it did keep slipping forward. I swayed, for some reason finding it hard to stand.

  ‘There’s something you should know. My sister, Amy, she booked this trip without—’

  ‘The two of you are very different, aren’t you? She’s almost finished her strip,’ he said. ‘Shall I ask her to help you?’

  ‘No thanks.’

  What I needed was a long drink. A fragrant bath. A massage. A plateful of pastries and shade.

  My eyes welled up but I squeezed tears away. For Amy’s – and Jonas’s – sake I had to be strong.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Rick said and took my arm.

  His voice was hard to hear. The rainforest went in and out of focus. I tried to shake him off. ‘If you could just leave me to get on, I’ll… I’ll…’

  My knees felt like jelly and as they buckled my hat fell off and everything went black.

  13

  Tropical warmth wrapped around me like a winter duvet. I opened my eyes. Or did I? Perhaps this was a dream – me, lying in the arms of an indecently handsome man. Fingers gently brushed hair out of my eyes.

  The good thing about dreams was that you could do whatever you wanted. There was no point in wasting them. At the very least I could bag a swoonworthy kiss, without the baggage of real-life insecurities and limitations. I lifted a hand and tucked it behind his neck, gently pulling his face towards mine.

  ‘Sarah? How are you feeling?’ asked an English voice.

  There was something about the line of the jaw and the way those eyebrows pinched together into quizzical frown that I recognised.

  I was lying down. A strong arm around my shoulders. In the middle of the rainforest.

  Oh crap!

  I sat bolt upright.

  ‘Ow!’ He rubbed his chin.

  ‘Sorry, Rick,’ I said, feeling myself blush furiously. ‘I… was just grabbing onto you to pull myself up.’

  ‘You fainted,’ he said. ‘Unless you fell over.’ He glanced at my pink trainers. I should have put on the boots. ‘Did you not even read the kit list before packing?’

  ‘No, because—’

  ‘Right. You’ll have to buy some proper footwear over on Tortola at the weekend. Have some water.’ He picked up my bottle, shook it and looked further puzzled.

  ‘I forgot to refill it,’ I said lamely.

  ‘Then you’d better have some of mine.’

  ‘That won’t be—’

  ‘No arguments,’ he said firmly. ‘You need to rehydrate. I’ll get your sister to take you back to the camp and take you off the turtle trip tonight. I was going to roster you on with Amy.’

  ‘No way. I was just thirsty and tired. See?’ I knocked back some water and stretched my arms. ‘I’m perfectly capable of carrying on.’

  ‘That’s all very stoical but I don’t want a health and safety issue on my hands. And you need a hat that stays on in this heat.’ He picked his up off the ground and put it on my head.

  ‘There’s no need to make a fuss,’ I said, in an urgent tone.

  Rick glanced at me. I stared back rebelliously. He rubbed his forehead, stood back and studied me as if I were a new species of insect he’d spotted.

  ‘Sarah? What’s going on?’

  Too late. Running footsteps. Amy appeared by my side.

  ‘What happened?’ she asked as Rick took his bottle. Gratitude washed over me as he walked away without saying anything.

  ‘Nothing. I just wasn’t drinking enough.’ I stood up and swiped with my machete. ‘See. I’m stronger than ever.’

  She shook her finger at me playfully.

  ‘Sarah Sterling. You really are a sly one, pretending to faint, to get Rick’s attention. To be honest, I wasn’t ever conv
inced you’d suddenly become converted to the cause of conservation. But a crush on Rick? You know I’ve had my suspicions. And who could blame you? A holiday romance? That’s just what you need after some of the losers you’ve dated.’

  ‘No!’

  Her face dropped.

  I did want Amy to believe I wanted to stay – and that I was really able to cope with the outdoors challenges. I sighed to myself. Perhaps this was the only way. ‘Oh… okay… rumbled – I was hiding the truth. But that’s because it’s just a silly crush – so there’s no need to tell anyone else.’

  ‘Oh Sarah, I’m so happy for you. He seems lovely – and genuinely concerned about your welfare. He’s even given you his hat!’

  ‘Well, he’s very impressed with how you are doing.’

  ‘He is?’

  ‘Oh, definitely.’

  ‘I know this is only the second day but this trip is already everything I dreamed of. I’ve spotted birds and insects I recognise and Jackie’s been talking to me about some of the problems the zoo animals have. I was able to make a few suggestions, based on things I’ve picked up at the vet’s.’

  ‘You’ve always had a natural ability when it comes to understanding and helping animals. Like that time you thought Nelly was off colour and it turned out she had a urinary tract infection. You just sensed it.’

  ‘Anyone could have,’ she mumbled.

  I held her arm. ‘No. I didn’t. Your talent is obvious. Since we arrived Rick has clearly been impressed by your knowledgeable comments.’

  Her face shone as she went back to her strip.

  I started to cut the bushes and long grass again, determined to show I was just as capable as anyone else. Rick came back over, didn’t say a word and passed me his bottle. I glugged from it again, before carrying on. I almost decapitated a frog and managed not to scream when a beetle with scarily long antennae scuttled over my wrist. I scratched my arms on prickly branches and my lovely new trainers became covered in mud.

  All of that was nothing compared to the headache that banged and the painful blisters now covering my hands to match the ones forming on my feet. In a daze I walked back to camp with Jonas. He was exhausted too, his damp T-shirt sticking to his chest.

  Gratefully we headed into the canteen and downed large glasses of cold water. I couldn’t wait for breakfast except that when the Malik appeared at the serving hatch to announce it was served, the meal turned out to be the awful fish soup we’d heard about.

  ‘This is a joke, nein?’ muttered Jonas who sat next to me.

  ‘If it is, I don’t think much to Caribbean humour.’ Reluctantly I got up to fetch a bowlful and did my best to sound sincere as I thanked Malik. Everyone else tucked in, talking about how great it was to try indigenous dishes. Jonas and I swapped looks that said we’d rather be eaten alive by midges. I stared at the slosh – the slimy white lumps and small black bean spheres that resembled fish eyes. A cat wandered into the canteen. Without anyone else seeing I put our two bowls on the floor. The contents disappeared in minutes.

  My only sustenance until lunchtime would be another piece of fruit. Amy and Helga were too busy comparing the best machete techniques, to chastise their siblings’ pickiness. Not that I’d agree that we were being fussy. Soup for breakfast? What sort of parallel universe was this? Maybe lunch would be muesli.

  Rick stood up and knocked a spoon against his mug. ‘Great work this morning. Clearly the universe has sent a fantastic bunch of people to Seagrass Island.’

  Smiles spread around the room.

  ‘You’ve a couple of hours to relax now, before lunch. Once you feel reinvigorated, I suggest you check out the laundry area that’s at the far end, by the last cluster of shacks. You’ll find large sinks with running cold water, detergent, a mangle and lines to hang your clothes on. Before you leave here, take a look at the blue rota on the wall.’ He pointed to the back of the room. ‘Some of you are rostered in for the turtle egg collection trip tonight.’

  ‘You and me are going. And Benedikt,’ said Amy, eyes shining.

  Phew. Rick had kept me on. It was a matter of self-pride now. I was surprised that Jonas seemed genuinely disappointed – although he wasn’t happy to see that he and I had been rostered on as the first to clean out the compost toilets.

  I went to leave and passed Rick.

  ‘I’ve done as you said and kept you on the turtle trip,’ he said. ‘But if you’re feeling at all woozy before then, please do yourself and the team a favour and pull out. Cleaning the toilets will give you a good idea of exactly how well you are.’

  Feeling utterly exhausted and longing for a dip in a lagoon, with iced lattes on tap, I simply nodded and went back to my shack where I could pull the bed covers over my face and…

  I mustn’t cry.

  I’d stopped doing that a long time ago.

  When Mum died I needed to be there for Amy. She’d wanted to pass away at home but Dad said hospital was best. It was less work for him. I may have only been eleven but saw how Mum had been too tired to argue. I’d felt angry about that for such a long time but even managed to keep those tears of rage in. Hard as it was, I stopped them at the funeral as well. I’d sat in the church, sucking in my cheeks, trying not to think about Mum, lying cold, in the wooden box, all alone. Holding Amy’s hand as her sobs burst out during the hymns. Braving relatives’ piteous stares. Ignoring the whispers talking about ‘those poor girls’.

  Oh, I had shed tears, but alone at night, my head under my pillow so that there was no way Amy would hear.

  Getting through all of that made it easier to deal with anything afterwards. Dad’s cruel jibes could no longer hurt. I didn’t cry my first night alone in that terrible bed and breakfast. And I only had one sobbing fit after my last boyfriend dumped me for being too independent.

  So I’d do my best not to weep over blisters and bites and having to clean out a prehistoric toilet. I went back to the shack but only for a rest and to reluctantly swap my hat for the practical cap. Well, sort of rested. I’d come out in another rash – prickly heat. I’d stopped smearing on Helga’s cream because I didn’t want to use it all up. Amy had brought anti-histamine tablets but they hadn’t kicked in yet.

  ‘Come on, let’s get it over with,’ I said to Jonas, after we’d picked at rice for lunch. ‘At least you don’t have to go on the turtle trip tonight.’

  Jonas glanced at me. ‘Me and Benedikt get on really well. I was actually hoping to be part of it. Honestly, he takes the stupidest selfies for his Instagram feed. Last night he managed to attract the biggest moth onto his head and snap it before it flew away.’ Jonas looked the most cheerful I’d ever seen him. Noses wrinkling, he and I stood in front of the toilet cubicles. The sawdust covered the waste but the smell still stole through because of the humidity.

  ‘You first,’ I said.

  ‘No chance,’ he replied.

  ‘Okay. Both together.’

  We moved forwards and after counting to three, each lifted out a bucket. The contents shifted from side to side. I gagged.

  ‘Quick as we can,’ I spluttered. Without looking down I led the way to the compost bays, praying that neither of us would trip and fall over. As if they’d been waiting, flies ambushed the slop. We set down our buckets. Jonas picked up the fork and dug into the hay.

  Over the years I’d had to do many dirty tasks on my own, at home and at work, so I braced myself and poured the buckets’ contents into the left-hand side. Jonas lifted up the hay, let it drop and forked it over. My throat contracted and for a second I almost vomited. But the feeling passed. The smell dissipated. We picked up our empty buckets and returned them to the cubicles.

  When I got back to the shack I noticed a splash of waste on my T-shirt. My limbs felt heavy after the early start and lack of sleep, but I trekked as fast as I could over to the laundry area. Vigorously I hand-washed the top, pounding out my frustration.

  Surely the day couldn’t get any worse?

  14

>   We left for the turtle nesting site at five to set up camp as the sun went down at seven. Before arriving in the British Virgin Islands I’d imagined long sunny, summer evenings with very late sunsets. In so many ways I’d been unprepared for this trip.

  We packed large rucksacks and carried plastic buckets to bring the turtle eggs back in. Malik had provided individual plastic boxes generously filled with rice and chicken. Rick gave us each an extra water bottle. He carried one of the two-man tents and Amy offered to take the other. So I insisted we’d swap rucksacks halfway there. Benedikt said the same to Rick. We waved goodbye to the others.

  Jonas gave Benedikt one of his treasured chocolate bars he’d brought over from Germany. He lent me one of his long-sleeve shirts. For once comfort took precedence over appearance. Amy hadn’t managed to pack me enough sensible clothing, hidden under my other clothes, and my curves didn’t fit into hers. We climbed uphill at first, past the animal enclosures. As twilight sneaked in the humidity increased. For the only time in my life I wished I had a thigh gap as my legs rubbed together at the top.

  ‘The flame trees have almost finished flowering,’ he said and pointed to the right.

  I admired the clusters of bright red, leaf-like petals. I didn’t know much about nature. I could recognise a sparrow. Could name daisies and dandelions and the flowers Dad used to give Mum after an argument. However I was more familiar with brands of clothes than wildlife species.

  ‘What are those? They are so delicate,’ I said and pointed to a tree bearing delicate, fluffy pink blooms, trying my best to look enthusiastic for Amy; to make her holiday memorable. The last time she’d been abroad was with Dad and Anabelle in Spain, just before she’d come to stay with me. Her A level results had come through whilst she was there. She’d got three As. I couldn’t have been more proud but Dad said the lack of A*s just proved she wasn’t clever enough to do veterinary science. He’d been going to take her out for paella and sangria but cancelled the celebration. I’d never felt so angry when she told me. His ego couldn’t cope with the notion that one of his daughters was brighter than him.