The Summer Island Swap

by Samantha Tonge

  I didn’t consider it until my first Christmas on my own, alone in the bed and breakfast. Dad hadn’t invited me to the celebration at his house. Loss, at many levels, hit me hard. I went to bed for two days and saw my doctor the following week. A month later I had my first session with Elaine.

  The thing she taught me that resonated most was not to hold onto resentments. I hadn’t realised how angry I was, deep down, that Mum had left me and Amy. And I was angry at Anabelle for not standing up more to Dad. Elaine helped me let go of that.

  Over the years that perspective helped me cope with Prue. And in this instance, it helped me give assistance to Rick. Elaine taught me how holding onto grudges would harm me the most, in the end.

  However, her advice would never change my view of Dad. He’d hurt Amy as well as me. I could never forgive him for that.

  ‘It could also be useful for you, getting everyone to fill in a questionnaire before they leave, with honest opinions. Feedback is everything – in my opinion anyway.’

  Rick raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Prue. My boss. I suggested a feedback box at reception, for customers to write down their comments and submit anonymously. She dismissed the idea outright – said the only thing that mattered was the hotel meeting her exacting standards.’

  ‘Well, I certainly appreciate your input. Jackie and I also both agree it is a good idea to extend the gallery of online photos.’

  ‘Yes. To some crazy people, the outside of the shacks, on stilts, could look kind of cute…’

  He smiled.

  ‘For the browser to get a real feel for the accommodation you’ll need a shot of the inside as well. And there are no photos of the compost toilets. They would impress real environmentalists but at the same time weed out potential volunteers who think this place is going to be more comfortable.’

  ‘Same with the kit list,’ he said. ‘I think you’re right. We need to explain why the items are important instead of just listing them. Like the long-sleeve shirts. One volunteer thought we just put that to keep off the sun so she ignored it because she was keen to get a tan. She hadn’t realised those sleeves are actually to protect people from bites as well.’

  I waved across the room to Amy. Her forehead looked burnt. I’d have to remind her, tomorrow, to make sure she wore her cap at all times. She placed her hands over her face, pretending to sob as she lost the game of chess. Benedikt laughed and pulled her fingers away, challenging her to another match. A humorous, sulky expression crossed her face, so he started singing ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen. For some reason it was Jonas who looked as if he’d been beaten.

  ‘There is something else,’ I said.

  ‘You’re not going to start charging me, are you?’ said Rick and consulted his watch, ‘because I’m timing you in case you do so by the minute.’

  ‘Don’t give me ideas – although I am something of an expert, having done a basic course in website design once.’ I smiled. It was when I first lived on my own. I wasn’t near my old neighbourhood or old friends. The evenings were lonely so, with the help of my counselling, I forced myself to be proactive and found a reasonably priced evening course that would add to my skillset. Recently I’d helped the vet’s where Amy works set up a blog. ‘First off, I’d say your website looks… complicated. You could do with simplifying the pages. Making them cleaner and more user-friendly. I’m happy to help.’

  ‘That’s really decent of you.’

  I shrugged, wondering if he meant it or if he was only being nice because he needed my assistance. I wasn’t going to hold a grudge, but that didn’t mean I was going to jump straight into thinking we could suddenly be good friends.

  Although I had to admit, his sincerity about conservation was kind of appealing. Of course his looks were striking – nothing like the men from my past. Take Callum – he had the neatest hair. A sedate demeanour. Was attractive in a wholesome way. I’d always considered myself lucky to be going out with him. He had the loveliest smile and treated me well but our kisses never set me alight. I liked that because he felt safe. However, in the end patient Callum accused me of making do with him.

  It was a horrible accusation. I’d vehemently denied it, upset at the thought that I’d upset him. He’d be the perfect catch for someone. Just not me.

  I wasn’t interested in finding a seductive, six-pack, mesmerising Mr Perfect. On purpose I’d looked for a Mr Won’t Sweep You Off Your Feet – but Callum proved that came with its own challenges.

  However, Rick… Perhaps it was the carefree island vibe that weakened my guard. We were only a couple of days in but already the basic nature of the site made me feel that civilisation, the normal rules I lived by, were part of some other life.

  ‘Your brand… it doesn’t come across really strongly on the website,’ I continued. ‘You call this venture Seagrass Conservation and that title is all well and good – it’s solid and serious and this is a trip for people determined to do their bit for the environment. But the website is missing something brighter and lighter to pull people in – and I might have the solution…’

  ‘I’m all ears,’ he said as Chatty had started tickling his ear again.

  I jerked my head at the monkey. ‘That little man there. Make him the face of your brand. Create a cartoon image and have him on the website with speech bubbles containing sound bites relevant to each page. Plus an actual video of the real him – perhaps with one of you showing the viewer the animal enclosures, with Chatty on your shoulder…’

  Rick didn’t respond but at least he didn’t suck in his breath and frown like Prue used to.

  ‘Sell simple merchandise. Key rings. Fridge magnets – maybe small plush monkeys wearing T-shirts saying Chatty. You could easily find a manufacturer of personalised toys on the internet. People go mad for buying mementos and gifts.’

  He stared.

  My mouth felt dry. ‘You think it’s a rubbish idea?’

  He leant forward and gave me a tight hug, Chatty clinging on for dear life and squeaking his huffiness. The hairs stood up on the back of my neck. Warmth radiated down my body. I glanced at Amy who watched with the biggest grin on her face.

  ‘I… I take it you approve then,’ I stuttered.

  ‘Sorry, yes…’ His eyes crinkled. ‘I’ve never even thought about doing something like that. Maybe this is what’s been missing. The success of this venture is so important, I think I’ve lost my sense of humour.’

  ‘I’m not sure about that,’ I said. ‘In the tent last night you wore orange socks covered in bananas.’

  ‘Thanks, Sarah. Thanks so much for this.’ His voice wavered. ‘The last couple of months I’ve felt as if I’ve been wading through marshland, trying to think of ways to boost Seagrass Conservation. Jackie’s been great but it’s a relief to have someone on board with a fresh pair of eyes. It could be just what’s needed.’

  His appreciation felt warmer than sunshine and that was saying something, in the Virgin Islands.

  It was soon nine o’clock and even though it was Saturday tomorrow, and we could lie in, everyone was shattered. I kissed Chatty on the head and Rick and Jackie headed off to take him back to his enclosure and to check on Wink the screech owl who had gone off her food. Laughter and singing carried across the night air as we headed towards the shacks, accompanied by harmonica playing. I still couldn’t believe how clear the sky was, away from city lights. The ivory moon, the sprinkling of glitter across the ebony sky… it gave Seagrass Island a touch of the magical. Spending time with Rick today – explaining why I was finding life here so difficult… me helping him out and once again feeling useful… all of that gave everything a shinier dimension.

  Amy and Benedikt passed me by, murdering ‘Tonight’ from West Side Story, Helga behind them attempting to join in, pulling a face as they drowned her out. I caught up with Jonas and linked arms. Benedikt shot me a look as he went by and quickly masked it with a smile.

  What did he disapprove of?

  18

&
nbsp; Throughout the night my legs continued to itch, aggravated by hot air trapped by the sheets I was determined to stay under. Despite making sure the shack’s door was closed, I still felt squeamish. I also had a nightmare about a giant moth landing on my face and woke up fighting the mosquito net. Thanks goodness it was Saturday and I could unwind. Helga sprung up at six and went off for a shower. Amy followed shortly after. Jackie had invited her to check on owl Wink, so they were meeting by the enclosure before breakfast – whereas I dozed until eight and then went to wash.

  I took a glass that I’d borrowed from the canteen the previous night, to trap any adventurous tarantulas, annoyed with myself for feeling scared because I’d battled much bigger fears as an adult. My thoughts immediately turned to Mum, and how much I missed her, oh so much. Especially her hugs. I couldn’t lose myself in Anabelle’s arms, not in the same way. I had no memory of ever being physically close to Dad. Apart from my eighteenth birthday, nine months before I moved out; Anabelle had bought a ring bearing my birthstone. Dad had playfully given me a sideways hug. He’d squeezed just that bit too hard and said to look after it as it might be the only ring anyone ever gave me. Then he’d pinched what he called my choochie cheeks and insisted I eat only a thin slice of birthday cake.

  Yet he didn’t like it when I lost weight after leaving home. It hadn’t been intentional, but working so hard at the hotel meant that pounds dropped off and I didn’t have much money for food back in those days.

  It was obvious he preferred to feel superior wherever possible and my slimmer figure that he’d always told me I should aspire to, narrowed his range of insults.

  Shower safely completed, I pulled on a pair of trousers that belonged to Amy, my pair that she’d secretly packed for me now beyond wearable. They were too short but luckily the waist was elasticated. I’d change into something smart later, when we went over to Tortola, after an early lunch as the shops started shutting at four o’clock. Today’s trip was just to get our bearings but I was determined to come back to Seagrass Island with a sensible wardrobe of my own.

  ‘Klopf, Klopf,’ said a deep voice.

  I opened the door to the shack and grinned. ‘Knock, knock, to you too, Jonas.’

  ‘Breakfast?’

  ‘I can’t wait for tomorrow’s special Sunday one.’ We walked in the direction of the canteen. ‘Where’s Benedikt?’

  ‘He went with Amy to see Wink. I didn’t like to tag along. I didn’t want to… how do you say… play blackberry.’

  ‘Gooseberry,’ I corrected and punched his arm. ‘Amy and Benedikt? Nah. They’re just mates. I don’t see it.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Well… anything’s possible, I suppose. I’ll have to grill her later.’

  ‘That sounds barbaric,’ he said.

  ‘It means to question someone intensely, in English.’

  He smiled. ‘I know. Okay. Tell me what you find out.’

  I studied his features as he took out his harmonica and played it as we went to eat. Was Jonas jealous? Was it possible that he had a crush on my sister? I couldn’t see much common ground between them whereas Benedikt and Amy certainly lit up a room when they sang their favourite musical tunes.

  I’d had heaps in common with Callum. Like me he worked in hospitality. Loved baking. Was estranged from his parents. But in the end that wasn’t enough without a physical pull.

  Whereas Rick… I’d thought about him last night when I couldn’t sleep. He was passionate about the outdoors. What with my hotel career, I was passionate about the opposite. He’d grown up surrounded by a family that worked together, holidaying blissfully with each other on a Caribbean island the grandmother had especially bought for them… whereas I…

  Yet despite any differences there was something about him that demanded my attention.

  I needed to calm down.

  The words all I ever think about is Gary came into my head. It was Anabelle, in a soppy voice, talking on the phone to someone about Dad. Before they’d been married. Before she lost her happy-go-lucky laugh and self-assured stride.

  A refreshing swim in the sea – that would shake off this Rick nonsense. Jonas was up for it. We just had time for a quick dip before lunch at eleven-thirty. Rick wanted us to be on the boat, ready to leave at twelve-thirty sharp. So Jonas and I left a note for Amy and Benedikt.

  Talk about washing your worries away. Along with other volunteers, who’d come back from the messy morning task of preparing the animals’ food, Jonas and I splashed around, ducking each other under the water and swimming underneath, pointing out flamboyant fish. Today I’d buy a snorkelling kit. I’d forgotten how healing the sea was. My bites were forgotten, along with the blisters. I relished tropical water lapping against my shoulders and soft sand between my toes along with a current tickling my belly. I wore a new pink polka dot bikini. It stood out from the others’ functional one-pieces and I’d hurried into the sea as quickly as I could, my body feeling very conspicuous.

  I’d never felt comfortable swimming. Imagining pairs of eyes scrutinising me. Boyfriends had helped dull the paranoia. Made me realise most men weren’t as judgemental as Dad.

  Jonas loved it and I said he could borrow it. He’d ducked me again in response.

  He and I swam out and raced back. I couldn’t stop laughing when I won and Jonas protested that his waterlogged dreadlocks had weighed him down. We both squealed when a shoal of silver fish surrounded us, weaving in and out of our legs. I felt a childish excitement as I dived down and found the prettiest shell. Jonas carefully stashed it in a pocket in his swimming trunks.

  There wasn’t a swim-up bar or lilos in the shape of flamingos but this was the first time I’d felt as if I’d truly escaped England for a better location. The sun beat down and we lay exhausted on the beach, letting waves lap deliciously over our bodies. We did sand angels, our arms and legs flailing as we lay horizontally. Other people joined in. Just as we started a piggyback race Amy and Benedikt appeared.

  Jonas started to run faster.

  Could he be trying to impress my sister?

  Except he tripped. Staggered. We both went flying and landed flat on our faces, almost colliding with Amy. I turned my head to look at Jonas spitting out sand. He caught my eye. We both laughed hard. In fact, my stomach hurt so much I couldn’t move.

  ‘Mein Gott! You could have both broken your necks – and Amy’s,’ said Benedikt and glared at Jonas.

  We got to our feet, Jonas checking I was okay. I pulled seaweed out of his hair. Someone shouted out it was lunchtime and Malik was serving a favourite – spicy beefburgers with chips and pineapple relish. I needed to change and tidy up my hair. Apply some makeup. After the last few days the idea of that sounded exciting! The men hurried off, Benedikt still berating Jonas for being so careless.

  ‘Strange,’ I said. ‘They usually get on so well.’

  ‘I think Benedikt is a little in awe of him,’ replied Amy. ‘He was talking about how Jonas wants a rock career. Benedikt regrets not following his heart and becoming a pianist. From what I can tell he finds his banking career… suffocating. Perhaps he’s envious that Jonas is so laidback.’

  ‘Or… have you really not noticed…?’

  Amy turned to me.

  ‘Perhaps those two are secretly competing for the same woman,’ I said and grinned.

  ‘What do you mean?’ she asked.

  We climbed the ladder into our shack. Helga wasn’t there. We sat on Amy’s low bed.

  ‘Jonas reckons Benedikt fancies the pants off you – I think that’s jealous thinking. Jonas looked so miserable watching you two play chess last night. And as soon as you appeared just now he acted all macho and started running faster and that’s why he tripped. Ah. Of course. I bet Benedikt is telling him off because he is secretly annoyed that Jonas might have impressed you.’

  ‘Benedikt fancy me?’ Amy burst out laughing. ‘Sarah. Leave the crush spotting to me. There is no chemistry whatsoever between us. Not even when we
sing! Benedikt’s more likely to be your type. He’s got a thing for long hair, for a start, and mine couldn’t be shorter. He told me he was growing his. I’ve never seen it out of his man bun but he says it’s already down to his shoulders.’

  ‘I don’t think so… I’ve sensed that he really doesn’t like me.’

  ‘Rubbish,’ she said in an assured tone. ‘Only today he was asking me all about you. What your type of man was. And whether you liked music.’

  I shrugged. ‘So, how was the owl?’

  ‘Wink is still off his food. I don’t know how Jackie and Rick cope. They must get so attached to the animals they look after here. I’d fall to pieces if one died…’

  ‘That’s not true at all.’

  She looked up from under her fringe. ‘Isn’t it? Remember how Dad sneered at me when my hamster fell ill? My eyes were swollen from crying at the dinner table. He told me to pull myself together; that I’d never make a good vet if I couldn’t cope with the death of a rodent. I… I’ve never forgotten that.’

  ‘As usual, he spoke complete nonsense,’ I said briskly. ‘Think of all the pets you’ve got to know – the regular clients at work – and how you’ve attended the procedure when they’ve been put to sleep. You’ve come home a little quiet. Perhaps shed a couple of tears. But it’s always amazed me how you’ve sprung up for work the next day, determined to help the next sick pet. Jackie wouldn’t let you near the zoo, to observe an animal in a fragile state, if she didn’t respect your experience. You’re a professional just like they are.’

  ‘I guess… she did let me into the enclosure to offer Wink some beetles, but Benedikt had to wait outside.’

  ‘There you go.’

  Amy blushed.

  ‘It’s only natural you should worry. I bet the best vets are those who don’t block off their emotions one hundred per cent.’

  ‘Klopf, Klopf,’ called a voice from outside. ‘Burger and chips await. Benedikt and I leave in ten minutes.’