Now and Again

by Natasha West

  She was mulling all this as she jogged downstairs to get a biscuit - she had her own cupboard that she stocked herself – when she heard Amanda on the stairs. She was talking to someone. Riley would just jog right past, grab her packet of hobnobs, and bugger off back to the guest bedroom, where she could continue to keep her head down while she rinsed out Rightmove. It didn’t end up working out that way, however. Because standing at the door, talking to Amanda, was Juliet Sullivan.

  Riley froze on the steps, her body locked with shock. After it loosened its grip, she wasn’t sure what to do, so for want of a better idea, she began to reverse, silently backing up the stairs. She didn’t get two steps before Amanda called cheerily, ‘Riley! Come and meet Juliet!’

  Riley found her mouth sliding into a rictus grin. ‘Yeah, er, hi.’

  Juliet’s face was a lot more honest. She looked mortified. ‘Hi,’ she said in the sort of tone you might greet a cobra with. If you ever found yourself forced to socialise with deadly snakes.

  As Riley felt her soul trying to leave her body, somehow, her legs took her down the stairs. ‘Nice to see you… again.’

  Amanda’s eyebrows jumped. ‘Do you know each other?’

  ‘Yeah, we, we went to school together,’ Riley told her.

  Amanda gaped. ‘Oh, wow! That’s great!’

  ‘Is it?’ Riley asked her.

  ‘Yeah, Juliet already knows someone in the house! That’ll make it easier, won’t it?’

  ‘Make what easier?’ Riley asked with a sinking feeling.

  ‘She’s going to be around a lot from now on because she’s Mia’s new nanny. She’s starting Monday,’ Amanda told her. ‘And look, an old school friend is right here to make her feel at home. How great is that?’

  No. Please, no.

  Juliet looked like she was trying to smile her way through this awkwardness. She was making a complete hash of it. Riley could tell she was horrified to find out her new job involved… Well… an old friend.

  ‘Gosh, I’ve really got to be heading off,’ Juliet said, looking at her wrist. She wasn’t wearing a watch. ‘I’ve got to be at… the dentist.’

  ‘Oh, well, looking forward to Monday,’ Amanda said, letting her out of the front door. Juliet practically ran out.

  Amanda shut the door behind her, looking as pleased as punch. She was a nice woman, but not the sharpest tool in the box. ‘She’s a sweetheart, isn’t she?’ she said to Riley.

  Riley nodded. ‘She can be.’

  Five

  Juliet was running away from Riley, again. But what she couldn’t seem to run from, what her legs could not help her escape from, was the memories she’d been pushing down all week. The memories were a decade old, but they seemed fresh as daisies.

  THEN

  Juliet was pretending to read a book in the school library. She didn’t even know what book it was; she’d snatched the first thing to hand from a nearby shelf and put it in front of her face as soon as she’d seen India coming in. Juliet knew if they locked eyes, that was it. A serving of cruelty for one.

  Juliet peeked over the page to see that she’d gotten lucky. India’s full attention was on a friend of hers as she yammered away about whatever. The friend was Riley Powell. Juliet wasn’t afraid of Riley, strictly speaking. In fact, India never seemed to give her crap when Riley was around. Riley was a bit of a mystery to Juliet. What she did know of her seemed too good to be true. She was one of the best students in the school, but she didn’t show off about it. She was very good-looking but didn’t seem vain about it. She was everybody’s friend without ever trying to be. Juliet didn’t understand her remotely. All she really knew for sure was that Riley had it made.

  Meanwhile, everything seemed like a struggle for Juliet. Her grades? Middling. Her looks? Average. Her friends? Few. But Juliet was nearly at the finish line. Just a few more months of school and she was out; on to adult life, whatever that meant.

  Juliet didn’t lower the book until India vanished around a bookcase, just in case Riley’s presence wasn’t the protection she believed it to be. That loud bleat of hers could be heard, though. It was way too loud for a library. Though no one told her to shut up. ‘So anyway, I’m doing English lit. I mean, how hard can it be to read a few books and say what you think about them?’ India was saying confidently.

  ‘Um, quite hard, I think?’ Riley said quietly. India only laughed. ‘You take things way too seriously, Ri.’

  ‘Probably,’ Riley conceded.

  Juliet could put the book back now she was out of India’s visual range. But before she closed it, she looked to see what she’d been hiding behind. It turned out to be a rather detailed anatomy book. She realised with a shock that she was looking right down the barrel of a vagina. She managed to control her slight alarm long enough to place it quietly back on the shelf. She made a beeline for the shelf she’d been headed for before India had walked in. Horror. She loved a good spooking.

  Juliet perused the limited library stock, looking for something she hadn’t read. She found a few options on the lowest shelf and was knelt down - trying to choose between Anne Rice and Shirley Jackson - when a shadow fell across her.

  ‘I’d go with Jackson if I were you,’ said a mellifluous voice.

  Juliet tilted her head up to see Riley Powell looking down at her. She was tall anyway, but she seemed to loom more than ever. ‘Am I in your way?’ Juliet asked automatically.

  Riley laughed softly. ‘Nope. I’ve done the bottom shelf. Working my way through the middle.’

  Juliet heard herself laughing a bit too loudly at that. Riley gave her a quick smile and turned to the shelf. Juliet grabbed the Shirley Jackson book, The Haunting of Hill House, and stood. She was about to walk away. But for some reason, she stopped and turned back. ‘Umm, I didn’t realise you were a horror fan.’

  Riley turned to her. ‘I like a lot of genres, but I’m kind of on a horror kick at the moment.’

  Juliet was surprised at the fullness of the response. So you could just ask someone like Riley Powell a question and they would, just, like, answer it? It couldn’t possibly be that easy.

  It got even better, though. ‘So, you’re taking my recommendation, I see,’ Riley said with a nod at Juliet’s hands. Juliet looked down at the book she was holding. ‘I guess so.’

  ‘I think she’s much better than Anne Rice. Though I guess it depends on your taste. I’ve never been big into vampires.’

  ‘No, me neither. Twilight kind of ruined them. Once I started picturing them sparkly, they got a lot less scary.’

  Riley chuckled. ‘Yeah, that’s probably it.’

  Juliet couldn’t believe the success she was having talking to Riley. It was going so well, the only thing to do was leave immediately before she ruined it. ‘Well, see ya.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Riley turned back to the books.

  Juliet dashed away, riding high. One minute of interaction. She could scarcely believe it. It was like watching someone on TV for years and have them suddenly pop out of the screen for a chat. Riley breathed different air than Juliet. She was the full package, smart, beautiful, rich as shit. Juliet could only imagine what it would be to be her. Even for five minutes. To look in the mirror to see those deep-set dark amber eyes, not her boring green bland ones. That tawny glowing skin, not her chalky pallor. And all those lustrous, corkscrewing dark waves of hair that fell down her back like a gorgeous ocean you could be content to drown to death in, given half the chance.

  Yep, all in all, Riley Powell had it. Juliet didn’t have anything.

  But the interaction could only be a novelty. Juliet was pretty sure that would be the last real conversation they ever had.

  ***

  Juliet was eating a very rubbish cheese sandwich in the cafeteria a few days later with her friends, Haley and Meera. Friends was a loose term, though. They were just people she sat adjacent to at lunchtime so as not to look like a loner. Loners got bullied. Haley and Meera were a social beard, and for that purpose, th
ey were fine, if dull. They talked about boys—a lot. Juliet was fairly sure they talked about them so much because they were getting zero action. Though she was one to talk. She’d barely been kissed. She thought she might be bisexual, but she wasn’t sure. How could she be? She didn’t have any field experience.

  She never bothered mentioning her sexuality to Haley and Meera. She thought they’d be alright about it, but they were simple, boy-loving creatures and wouldn’t have anything useful to say on the subject, so why bother telling them?

  ‘So, anyway, I’m going to Jackstone Uni because I heard it was one and a half men to every girl. Raises my odds,’ Haley said.

  ‘Yeah, it’s even better at Glede. Two and three quarters!’ Meera said.

  Privately, Juliet thought if getting a boyfriend involved having to stack your odds, it wasn’t worth having one. But of course, she said nothing.

  ‘So, you decided where you’re going?’ Meera asked Juliet, picking the crust off her sandwich.

  ‘I’m not going to uni. I’m just gonna do a year at a local college, get my childcare qualification,’ Juliet said quietly.

  ‘Oh,’ Meera said. ‘That’s it?’

  ‘Yeah, isn’t that a bit…’ Haley began.

  ‘What?’ asked Juliet. She knew what was coming though.

  ‘Aren’t kids a bit… a bit boring?’ Haley finished in a slightly patronising tone.

  Juliet shrugged. ‘Not to me.’

  Haley and Meera swapped a look. Juliet tried not to let it get to her. She knew people would be like this. But she didn’t want three years at uni getting smashed, only to come out with a mountain of debt and very few real job prospects. She wanted to make a real choice, start her life now. And she liked kids, she just did. She’d been looking after them her whole life. From a big extended family, they’d been utilising her as cheap childcare from an early age. But she didn’t mind; she was happiest with her cousins. She enjoyed their company more than her peers. They could have fun without making anyone the butt of it. They listened with open curiosity. They loved without prejudice. They laughed without restraint. They were themselves, unashamedly. It felt good to be around them. Juliet was going to centre her life around creatures that brought her a joy that her fellow teenagers had never done.

  ‘So anyway, I heard that at Glede, you can fail for the first six months and nothing even happens,’ Meera said, turning the conversation back to herself. Juliet didn’t mind. If they were just gonna shit on her choices, she was happy to stay out of the limelight.

  But their babbling was cut short. Across the cafeteria, a barking male voice suddenly rose sharply above the din. ‘You can’t just fucking do that to me.’

  Juliet turned to the sound. There was a tall guy at the other end of the cafeteria, looming over a table, eyes ablaze, fists balled. Juliet couldn’t see who he was yelling at.

  ‘What’s up with Jack?’ Meera asked.

  ‘Dunno, but I heard Riley Powell broke up with him yesterday. During indie study,’ Haley said. ‘Which is crazy. Like she’s gonna do better.’

  That got Juliet’s attention. She took a hard look at the table he was standing over, to see if she could see Riley. But the angle was wrong. The room had quietened down, though, and she heard the response, despite it being at a much lower decibel level. ‘I don’t want to talk about this right now.’ It was Riley, alright; you couldn’t miss that voice. It was unusually adult sounding for an eighteen-year-old.

  ‘Tough,’ Jack said. ‘Come outside with me now.’

  ‘No,’ Riley said sternly.

  ‘She’s an idiot,’ Meera breathed. ‘He’s gorgeous.’

  Juliet gave Meera a disbelieving look that she didn’t see because she was focused on that dreamy arsehole, Jack.

  ‘Yes, you will. You owe me that,’ he was saying. Though no one looked directly at Jack, it seemed like the whole room was holding their breath.

  Riley knew she was being watched because she cracked. ‘Fine,’ she breathed. She stood, Juliet seeing her at last. She looked mortified. Juliet was livid for her. Who the hell did Jack think he was, demanding conversations, being all threatening?

  Juliet watched as Riley trudged toward the exit, which happened to be right next to her table. Riley passed with her head down. Next came a smug Jack. He’d gotten his way, and he didn’t care how he’d gone about it.

  Juliet glanced over at Meera, who was smiling at Jack, trying to catch his eye as he passed. Juliet couldn’t believe what an idiot she was being. Trying to flirt with this angry twat whilst he was in the middle of having a go at his very recent ex. But it sort of worked. Or at least, Meera caught his eye. ‘What are you grinning at?’ he asked, slowing slightly as he passed the table. Meera’s smile slipped.

  But just as he drew level with Juliet, she did something crazy. It was almost like she was outside of her own body, watching her leg slip out from beneath the table and hook Jack’s ankle as he walked by. She kept watching from that removed place as Jack went sprawling, arms out, staggering right into a table filled with the football team, right in the middle of a serious carb load. Pasta, bread, and jacket potatoes were sent flying as Jack upended the whole table with his full body weight. He came to rest on top of the upset table, face down.

  There was dead silence for several seconds. The footballers looked down in astonishment at where their food used to be. Jack rolled slowly to face the ceiling, dazed. From the corner of Juliet’s eye, she could see Riley, wide-eyed at the scene. Time slowed.

  But the spell had to break sometime. And of course, it was broken by laughter, coming from a footballer. He started giggling like a five-year-old girl. The rest of the room soon joined in once the seal was cracked. Someone yanked Jack up, and he got to his feet, blushing like a tomato. Juliet turned to see what Riley’s reaction was. She wasn’t laughing, not exactly. Her mouth hadn’t moved. But Juliet was sure she could see a smile in her eyes.

  Jack had now shaken off his shock. ‘Who did that?’ he asked the laughing room. They kept right on yukking it up. That enraged Jack, and he spun around to the footballer with the high-pitched giggle. ‘Oi! Who was it?’

  ‘I dunno, dude,’ the snickering footballer said through tears of laughter. ‘Chill out.’

  But Jack didn’t chill. He was looking around him, searching the room for a good stool pigeon. He soon found him, a ratty little kid with a wispy moustache that he didn’t know how to shave yet. ‘Oi, runt! Who legged me up?’ Jack asked the boy, towering over him. The kid didn’t pause as his finger pointed straight at Juliet.

  ‘Shit,’ she whispered to herself. Jack marched over. ‘Did you trip me?’ he asked, incredulous. As well he might. Juliet was no one at this school. Who was she to attack someone of his social standing?

  ‘Umm, no?’ Juliet replied. It wasn’t very convincing.

  Jack eyeballed her as the laughter subsided. Everyone went quiet again, barely able to believe their luck. First the argument, then the accident, now the kangaroo court. It was all their Christmases come at once. For Juliet, it was less fun. Jack’s brow was nearly touching hers, his intense gaze boring into her. She was about a second from confessing all when Jack suddenly took a sharp step back. Or rather, he’d been pushed. ‘Back off, Jack,’ Riley said as she shoved him away. He directed his rage toward her. ‘Oh, you’re gonna defend her, are you? Did you see what she did?’ he said, taking a step toward Riley. She didn’t budge; she was angrier than he was now. Juliet didn’t know what to do. She’d caused this massive scene, and she hadn’t a clue how to shut it down.

  But at that moment, the giggling footballer lost his amusement. ‘Dude, you don’t get up in girls’ faces like that. Uncool.’

  Riley and Jack broke their stare out and looked at the guy. ‘Sam, it’s alright,’ Riley said.

  ‘Mind your fucking business!’ Jack yelled at him.

  Sam glared at Jack. But he said nothing. Jack turned back to Riley. ‘I can’t believe you’re defending some rando nobody.’
/>   Riley folded her arms. ‘You’re the nobody, Jack,’ she told him, quietly seething.

  The entire school, as one, made the delighted sound, ‘Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh.’ Juliet felt all funny in her tummy. No one had ever defended her honour like that.

  Jack looked ready to pop. He took a threatening step toward Riley, and that’s when a fist flew out from nowhere and smacked Jack in the jaw. He went down like a sack of spuds. Juliet looked over to see the punch had been thrown by Sam, the footballer. ‘Don’t be a twat!’ he told Jack.