Now and Again

by Natasha West

  But Riley could tell Juliet was a bit nervous, so she didn’t want to make a big deal of the transformation. She pushed down her surprise, as well as any other feelings about Juliet’s new look, and said, super-casually, ‘So you are an Ally Sheedy after all.’

  Juliet looked down at herself. ‘My sister dressed me,’ she admitted.

  Riley smiled. ‘She did a good job.’

  Juliet seemed to relax. ‘Do you think so?’

  ‘Give her my number, I could do with some pointers,’ Riley joked, grabbing two beers. She handed one to Juliet. ‘Do you drink?’

  Juliet shrugged. ‘Not really. But this is a party, isn’t it?’

  ‘That was kind of where I was at.’ Riley looked at her beer. ‘Actually, what I’d like is coffee. I’m so tired.’

  Juliet put her beer down and smiled, that smile that lit up her face. ‘I’d love a coffee.’

  ‘I’ll put the kettle on, then,’ Riley said, filling it up at the sink. Several people in the kitchen looked at her like she was weird. ‘Look, grandma’s having a nice cuppa!’ someone called. She paid them no mind.

  Once she’d made two coffees, she handed one to Juliet and said, ‘It’s too warm in here. You wanna go outside and have these?’

  ***

  Riley and Juliet were sitting on patio chairs next to a kidney-shaped outdoor pool, having their coffees. A few drinkers milled about, having their own chats on the other side of the pool. Riley felt a bit nervous suddenly. She didn’t really know Juliet, but she wanted to. That’s why she’d invited her to the party. That thing that had happened in English had been a bit uncomfortable. Riley had thought India was talking out of her arse before Juliet said it. And then she’d seen the horrible sharky way that India had looked at Juliet, and she’d been ashamed to call India a friend. She knew that India wasn’t the most empathetic person in the world, but she was usually pretty chill.

  But Juliet? Riley didn’t know who she was, and she was growing more intrigued by the day. This was a real chance to get to know her. ‘So, your sister gave you some guidance, did she? You get on with her?’

  ‘She’s alright. I mean, we’ve never been that close. We’re pretty different.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Riley asked.

  ‘She’s erm, I don’t know… normal?’ Juliet said.

  Riley chuckled. ‘Yeah, I know what you mean. I kind of feel that way about India.’

  Juliet looked surprised. ‘Oh?’

  ‘Yeah, she’s a bit… You know, a bit…’ Riley considered the best way to put it. ‘It’s like that shit she said in class about money. She can be… She’s my oldest friend and everything but… she doesn’t always think about stuff,’ Riley admitted. She’d never said anything like this about India to anyone; everyone she knew was also a friend of India’s. But Juliet was outside the group. It was safe. It felt quite nice to be free of her incestuous social circle. ‘One time she told me she thought she could probably cure cancer if she had the time,’ Riley said.

  Juliet guffawed. ‘Wow. Does the World Health Organisation know about this?’

  Riley chuckled. ‘We can only hope they never find out. Because they’d be right on it, forcing her to invent that cancer cure. Which would be very hard on her because it would cut right into her workout time.’

  Juliet laughed even harder. Riley liked seeing it. But too soon, she seemed to force herself to stop. It was sad to see that smile go.

  Riley knew then she was developing quite the little crush. It wasn’t a big surprise. There had to be a reason she’d asked Juliet to come out tonight on the spur of the moment. Now they were here, Riley wondered if it could go anywhere. Sitting out on this porch, sipping coffee and laughing, it didn’t seem like such an outlandish idea.

  ‘But you do, don’t you?’ Juliet said.

  ‘Do what?’ Riley asked.

  ‘Think about things,’ Juliet said, suddenly serious. Riley felt a bit naked under Juliet’s gaze. She thought she should make a joke, but it wasn’t what came out. ‘I like to think I do. Sometimes I worry I’m just as ignorant as India. But, like, maybe I’m too ignorant to know that I’m ignorant?’ she said with a light laugh to cover the fact she was saying something quite real.

  Juliet looked at Riley seriously with that lovely smile back and said, ‘I wouldn’t go to India for reading recommendations, I’ll tell you that much.’

  ‘Not unless you like the kind of magazine that wants you to please your man,’ Riley joked.

  Juliet laughed again. Riley felt like she was getting addicted to the sound. So she kept talking. For five whole minutes, she babbled on. Trying to be amusing, trying to be engaging, trying, trying, trying to keep Juliet’s attention. Eventually, she realised she’d fallen into a monologue. How embarrassing. Juliet must feel like Riley had with Jack. Just a mirror for her to preen into. Riley didn’t want to be that or make Juliet that. ‘So, tell me about you,’ she said.

  Juliet raised an eyebrow. ‘Tell you what?’

  ‘Anything you like.’

  ‘Like…’ Juliet started, looking suddenly nervous.

  ‘Fine, OK, I’ll try to be more specific. Tell me about…’ She searched for a good question and found the perfect one. ‘…your first kiss.’

  Juliet’s eyes widened in horror. ‘Oh. God. No. Not that.’

  Riley was delighted. ‘Right. Now you’re definitely telling me.’

  Juliet rolled her eyes. ‘Oh god. Fine. OK. So, I was twelve. I went on holiday to Butlin’s. That’s a holiday park with caravans, by the way.’

  Riley tutted, mildly offended. ‘I know what Butlin’s is.’

  ‘I don’t know, you might not. Like India said, your dad is the president of the Bank of England.’

  Riley gave a dramatic sigh. ‘She was exaggerating. He’s just a money manager.’

  ‘Oh, just a money manager?’

  Riley was quite enjoying the mockery; it was somehow intimate. ‘He’s a prick if it’s any consolation.’

  Juliet looked a bit shocked, and Riley realised maybe Juliet wasn’t used to people talking about their parents like that. Maybe hers were ordinary parents who just loved and cared for her and all that usual crap.

  ‘How is he a prick?’ Juliet wanted to know.

  Riley considered sliding right around the question but thought it quicker to summarise. ‘He works all the time, and he’s made it clear that’s all he cares about. Now finish your story. First kiss. Butlin’s. Go.’

  Juliet looked like she was thinking about probing about her dad, but Riley was thrilled when she continued her tale. ‘Well, alright, we go to Butlin’s for a week in July, like we always do, and I meet this boy named Kevin, his family has the caravan next door. He was… not the best if I’m honest. All he wanted to do was talk about Pokémon and eat jawbreakers. But I could tell he liked me and,’ Juliet paused, pink-cheeked. ‘I wasn’t exactly swimming in suitors.’

  Riley chuckled. ‘We all have an awkward phase.’

  Juliet gave Riley a very dubious look. ‘Yeah, sure we do.’

  Riley didn’t know what to say to that. Was it a compliment? Maybe even a flirtatious one? Before she had time to decide, the story resumed. ‘So we’re in the arcade - we’ve both been given some change and told to bugger off so the adults can get drunk - and we’re playing this Pokémon arcade game. I hate it, but he can’t get enough. He’s eating jawbreakers – as usual - and he just smashes them down, one after the other. It would take me an hour to break one down. But him? He eats them like crisps. Crunch, crunch, crunch. And then he wins a level. And he’s so excited that he turns to me and kisses me, boom. And I think…’ Juliet paused.

  ‘What do you think?’ Riley asked, wanting every last scrap of detail.

  ‘I think… what’s that pain?’

  ‘Pain?’

  ‘Yeah. In my mouth. So I pull away from him and I can see blood on his mouth.’

  ‘He was bleeding?’ Riley asked, boggling.

  ‘He wasn’t. I was. It was m
y blood on his mouth. Because he had braces and broke one of the wires with a jawbreaker without realising. Poked me right in the gum with the broken wire, tore it open.’

  Riley gasped, almost able to feel the pain. ‘Fuck! That must have hurt.’

  ‘I had to get a stitch. An actual stitch in my gum. That hurt even worse than the kiss.’

  Riley laughed. ‘That’s a banger of a story for your first kiss. Wounded in battle! Love it.’ She kept chuckling. ‘Way better than a romantic story.’

  Juliet smiled, but her eyes flitted away in a way that Riley found quite interesting. ‘So… do you have a boyfriend now?’ Riley asked; the question of the night.

  Juliet’s eyes widened. ‘Who, me? No, no, no…’

  Riley decided to roll the dice. ‘How about a girlfriend?’

  For a second, Juliet looked too shocked to answer. Riley thought she’d made a massive fuck up. But then Juliet asked in a quiet, intrigued way, ‘Do I seem gay?’

  Riley shrugged. ‘Oh god, I wouldn’t know. My gaydar is terrible.’ Riley paused for a moment and then added, ‘Which is tough when you meet a girl you like.’

  Juliet’s coffee cup slipped out of her hand and smashed onto the tile. Coffee splattered everywhere, some of it dribbling into the pool. ‘Oh shit!’ Juliet cried, jumping to her feet, trying to pick up the pieces of the broken cup. Riley got up too, putting a hand on Juliet’s shoulder. ‘Relax. Have you seen all these beer cans?’

  Juliet looked around the pool at the massive mess that had accrued in the space of a few hours. The place was a pigsty. Juliet looked back shyly at Riley. ‘Yeah, I guess no one’s gonna notice.’

  Riley checked around her to see that everyone had dribbled inside. She could distantly hear everyone chanting about shots. ‘Yeah, I don’t think anyone’s gonna notice anything that happens out here,’ she said, with the merest hint of suggestion. She knew she was pushing it. She just needed a signal, and she was going for it.

  She didn’t get it. Juliet, terrified a second ago, now looked a bit peeved. ‘Are you… Am I about to get hit with a bucket of pig’s blood here or something?’

  Riley’s mouth dropped open. ‘W-what?’ she said through a shocked laugh.

  Juliet’s face flushed. ‘Because I’m me. And I’m here. And you’re you. And this all seems too…’ Juliet looked away, mortified. ‘Never mind.’

  Riley decided what she needed to do right now was cut through the talking. She’d kissed a few people in her time, but there had always been a sense of, ‘OK, so this is literally the only thing that can happen at this juncture, so let’s just get on with it.’ But when she went toward Juliet, it had more urgency than that. She didn’t just want to. She had to.

  She leaned in and Juliet looked up at the very last second of approach. Riley had an idea she might be about to get a slap. But Juliet let her come that last, crucial inch, and Riley pressed her lips, ever so softly, to that wonderful mouth. Juliet kissed her back, just as softly. It was a sweet, tender kiss. Riley hadn’t had too many sweet kisses. None so intense, either. Riley was surprised to find she was having the best kiss of her life.

  NOW

  Riley realised she’d completely tuned out the dating show because somehow, two guys were having a huge fight about a girl they’d both picked, and Riley hadn’t seen any of the ramp-up to it. The first she knew, one of the guys was yelling, ‘You don’t even know her parakeet’s name!’ Riley skipped back to see how it had gotten to that. She’d missed about ten minutes.

  She knew why she’d zoned out. She’d been thinking about that party and the kiss. That wasn’t a good idea. She and Juliet had only just agreed to be friendly. Thinking of their very hot kiss was definitely not a friendly thing to do.

  But maybe the new accord was the reason her brain had trundled down this path in the first place. It had been so awkward; Riley had built a wall out of that awkwardness and hid behind it. But Juliet had just, however unknowingly, knocked quite a few bricks out of that wall.

  But Riley really did have to stop thinking about that kiss. It was a long time ago, so there was every chance she was romanticising it anyway. It couldn’t have been all that, could it? Because the thing was, Riley still kind of thought of it as the best first kiss she’d ever had with anyone.

  But if she started getting all dreamy about their past, she’d fuck this truce before it had even started. She had to stop it. In a minute. After she’d just finished with what she had unconsciously started doing as she closed her eyes and slapped the laptop shut. She was almost there. Silly to stop this second.

  Eleven

  Juliet and Mia were in the pool. Juliet had her hands around the kid’s small waist, but there wasn’t a need. Mia was quite the little frog, paddling herself across capably and confidently. ‘That’s it, look at you go!’ Juliet called as the child swam along, laughing.

  When they reached the other side, Mia said, ‘Hungry!’ and clambered up the ladder. The second she hit terra firma, she was making a break for the kitchen. Juliet got up behind her, grabbing a towel. ‘Mia, hang on!’

  But the wet toddler was sprinting through the pool gate, across the grass. This was all Juliet needed. Mike doing another drop by and seeing a sopping kitchen floor. Juliet was still wary of him, even though she’d been there a while now and very rarely had contact. She didn’t know if he was avoiding her or if he was just never home. He did give off serious workaholic vibes.

  Riley, though? She’d seen her a few times. They were polite with each other, but it wasn’t the forced politeness of before. It had a lot more ease about it. Though Juliet couldn’t say it was breezy because the past couldn’t be erased with one conversation.

  ‘Mia!’ she cried out as the kid reached the doors, ‘Freeze!’ Mia turned into a statue. This was a game that Juliet had taught her. Because if you just said ‘stop,’ she would gleefully carry on doing whatever it was she knew full well she wasn’t supposed to. Juliet caught up with her and towelled her dry while she stayed locked in position. As Juliet got to her feet, Mia whispered out of the side of her mouth, ‘Can I move?’

  ‘Not yet,’ Juliet said. ‘I’m just gonna lift this foot and dry it off.’ Mia let Juliet lift her feet as though she were a posable action figure. Once the undersides of her feet were bone dry, Juliet said, ‘Annnnd… Unfreeze!’

  Mia was off and running, straight into the kitchen. She made a beeline for the fridge, which she could just about get open. ‘Can I have banana?’

  ‘Yes. No bananas in the fridge though. Makes them go funny,’ Juliet said, grabbing one from the bowl on the counter and starting to peel. ‘I’LL DO THAT!’ Mia said irritably. Juliet, only a few centimetres into peeling the first part, stopped immediately. ‘Sorry,’ she smiled and handed Mia the banana. She was glad Mia wanted to do things for herself. Even if she didn’t have the manners part down yet. But they were working on that. ‘What do you say?’ Juliet asked.

  Mia, mouth jammed full of banana, said, ‘THANK YOU!’

  ‘Very good,’ Juliet said, ruffling her hair.

  Riley walked in. ‘That looks nice,’ she said and took a banana from the fruit bowl. She began to eat, sitting down at the counter.

  ‘Nice,’ Mia agreed.

  Juliet watched the sisters enjoying bananas together, and she noticed that they looked more alike than she’d initially realised. Same nose, same eyes, same chin. Which meant Riley was a promise in looks of what Mia would become. Juliet thought that was going to work out pretty well for Mia. Her older sister was even better looking than she’d been at eighteen. Those dark amber eyes held even more mystery. Her long hair was a little shorter now, but still wild and gorgeous, and her clothes, always well-chosen, hung on an even more curvy frame nowadays.

  Juliet wondered if Riley was dating. She never saw her with anyone. But there was no reason she should. They had a crossover of about ten minutes at the end of the day if Riley came straight back from work, which she often didn’t. Whether that meant she was working
late or having fun, again, Juliet couldn’t have said. They didn’t talk about their private lives to one another. It wasn’t the way things had shaken out between them. Probably for the best. It was a way to keep the past in the past.

  Not that Juliet had much to say in that department. She was still living with her parents and dating had not been a thing for some time. She’d had a couple of relationships. But nothing that lasted. She’d been single now for… Good god, was it that long?

  ‘Hey,’ Riley said.

  Juliet snapped out of her fugue. ‘You talking to me?’

  ‘Yeah, Taxi Driver, I’m having a coffee. You want one?’

  ‘I’d love one, actually,’ she said. Though she was welcome to use anything in the kitchen and eat what she liked, she couldn’t fathom the fancy coffee machine and she had to stick to instant. Sure enough, Riley was grinding fresh beans—the whole shebang.