Born in Light

by Kim ten Tusscher

  Almor carried Az-Zhara up the hill. All that remained of what centuries ago had been a castle were some rooms cut out of the rock, and a few crumbled walls. They found a room that was still largely intact. The tree in the middle of the room was resting its crown on the walls, creating a roof.

  Lilith threw her stick aside and sat down next to Az-Zhara. She made a light. The blood on his clothes scared her. She immediately set to work.

  “Almor, make a fire,” she ordered as she took Az-Zhara’s injured hand in hers. It was cold to the touch. “And I need water,” she called after him.

  She carefully removed her hands. It didn’t look good. One finger had been chopped off. The other was almost completely severed. Her gift, however, had stopped the bleeding.

  Lilith undressed Az-Zhara. She could tell that every movement hurt him. His torso was a giant bruise. Most of the stones had hit him in the stomach, where he had no protective scales. Lilith looked at it in horror. She quickly examined him, before she laid her hands on his thighs. That was where the deepest wounds were.

  Almor returned and started a fire.

  “We can’t go any further. Not before he regains some of his strength,” Lilith told him.

  Almor nodded. “We’ll stay here for the next few days.”

  “Did you find water?”

  “There’s a brook nearby. Here.” He offered her the water skin.

  “Warm it up. I want to wash him.” She moved her hands and treated his shoulders. Worried, she looked at Az-Zhara’s face. Shouldn’t he be feeling better by now?

  Almor put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re doing good. I’m proud of you.”

  Lilith had her doubts. When Ébha had treated her after the flogging, the effect had immediately been clear.

  When the water was warm enough, she washed Az-Zhara. In the meantime, she calmly spoke to him, to let him know what was about to happen. After that, she dressed the wounds that were too deep to heal at once.

  “Thank you,” Az-Zhara whispered. It cost him a lot of effort.

  She smiled at him. “Just go to sleep. You’re safe now.”

  No matter how tired she was, Lilith couldn’t settle down. She was sitting in a crevice in the wall, staring at the sky. There were holes in the layer of clouds through which she could see the stars. The clouds floated by at great speed until eventually there were no more stars to be seen. She felt around on the ground until her fingers found a pebble. She threw it into the darkness below her. It tapped the rocks a few times before everything went quiet again. She picked up another pebble and repeated the ritual several times.

  She was brooding. Why had the people called her Kasimirh’s dragon? How did they know, and why were they so angry about it? She was a long way away from Naftalia. Nevertheless, the people were full of hatred. They were determined to kill her and become heroes. Unfortunately, they had caught the wrong dragon.

  That much was clear to her. Because of their anger towards her, Az-Zhara had been attacked, even though he had done nothing wrong.

  Lilith leaned to the side, but before she could throw another pebble, someone put a hand on her shoulder. Startled, she looked up. “Oh, it’s you.”

  “Who else should it have been?” Almor asked.

  She shrugged. Almor sat down next to her. Lilith threw the pebble and picked up another. “It’s going to rain, I think.”

  Almor grumbled his assent. They sat in silence for a while.

  “Az-Zhara is lucky that you’re here for him,” Almor said.

  Lilith found a bigger pebble. She clenched it in her fist. Her nails pierced the palm of her hand. Shaking her head she said: “If I hadn’t existed, none of this would have happened.” She violently threw the pebble away. It hit the rocks hard and then hit a tree. Twigs and other pebbles were dragged along in its wake as it rolled down the slope.

  “You’re not to blame for any of this,” Almor responded.

  “They thought he was going to join Kasimirh,” she said.

  “Lilith…”

  “Something bad happens to everybody I care about. You and my mother. Chrys. And now him.” Lilith’s voice became louder. “How can you say that it isn’t my fault?”

  There were moaning sounds behind them. Lilith turned around. She saw Az-Zhara’s pained expression in the light of the fire. She rushed up to him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and he leaned against her, moaning softly.

  “Help me.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My stomach… Help me.”

  “Hush, just calm down. I’m here.”

  Lilith wasn’t only trying to calm him but herself as well. She didn’t understand why he was getting worse all of a sudden. He was even paler than normal and he was lying limp in her arms. Even through the layers of clothes she felt how cold he was. Her hands quickly sought their way underneath his clothes. She was startled when she felt how hard his stomach was.

  “Is this where it hurts?”

  Az-Zhara nodded feebly. “I’m not doing well,” he whispered with fear in his voice.

  “I’ll help you,” Lilith answered. Her energy eagerly sought a way to his body.

  “Are you feeling any better?” Lilith asked after a few seconds. She caressed his face and tried to keep him warm.

  She didn’t receive an answer.

  “Az-Zhara?” She pushed him away a little bit to be able to look at his face. His face had turned ashen. “You have to stay awake!” she yelled. She laid her hand on his chest. “Almor! We have to leave.”

  “It’s not good to move someone who’s injured. Use your hands!”

  “I did, but this is something I can’t fix.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “He is… empty. I don’t know.”

  Almor looked at Az-Zhara again. He carried the dragon man outside as Lilith stuffed their belongings into the backpacks.

  Please God, don’t let him die.

  “As if Jakob would care,” Lilith growled to herself. She took off her cloak and wrapped it around Az-Zhara. “But I’m going to take care of you, Az-Zhara.”

  25

  ”Look Lilith! To the left!”

  It was dawn, and Almor had discovered a few spots of light. Lilith immediately bore off in their direction. The lights turned out to be houses. She landed in a sheltered field, just outside the village. Almor took Az-Zhara from her and started walking right away.

  They stopped when they reached the village. The wooden defence wall had almost completely been destroyed. Only a few poles remained standing. A fox darted off through the trampled grass.

  “Maybe we should go somewhere else,” Lilith said quietly.

  Almor shook his head and started walking. The lanterns in the streets weren’t lit. Shutters were banging in the wind. Windows had been smashed. Several houses had been burned down. No one ventured out onto the street.

  “Do you think Kasimirh has been here?” Lilith asked. She walked closer to Almor and looked around.

  Towards the centre of the village there was less destruction. A baby was crying somewhere. Lilith knocked on the door of a house where there was a light burning.

  The door was opened to a crack. Lilith only saw two eyes. They looked at her and then the door closed again.

  Lilith just managed to push the door back open. Now she could see the woman a little bit better. “Please. Our friend is hurt and needs help.”

  “Who are you?” the woman asked.

  “Travellers who have been assaulted, just like you.”

  The woman looked at Az-Zhara. “Everyone has been brought to the community centre.”

  She slammed the door shut before Lilith could ask her where the community centre was. Almor had already started walking. Lilith caught up with him.

  They wandered through the abandoned streets until they reached a square. The community centre was easy to recognize. Light poured out of every window and crack in the large building. From inside came the hum of voices and moaning.


  A man walked up to them. He was holding an axe, but nevertheless looked frightened. Lilith stood still and stopped Almor. The villager looked like he didn’t need much of an incentive to attack.

  “What are you doing here?” the villager asked.

  “He’ll die if he doesn’t get any help,” Almor said.

  The man cast a glance at Az-Zhara and then looked at Lilith. She exaggerated her limp as she took a few steps forwards. The man muttered to himself and shook his head.

  “Come through. I hope you still have time.”

  Lilith opened the door and let Almor go in first. She remained standing on the threshold. There were injured women and children everywhere. Here and there she saw some men, but they were heavily outnumbered. Her father was addressing one of the women attending the injured.

  “Is there a surgeon who can help us?” he asked.

  The woman shook her head. Then she pointed at someone else.

  “Ébha!”

  The healeress turned around and gave her a look of surprise. “Lilith?”

  “I know her from Nadesh,” Lilith said relieved. “She helped me.” Seeing this woman, who she knew and trusted, rekindled her hope that everything was going to be all right with Az-Zhara.

  Almor hurried towards Ébha. The healeress looked at Az-Zhara. “Come, follow me.” She found some space in a corner of the room and spread out a few blankets on the floor. Almor laid Az-Zhara down. Lilith sat down next to him.

  Ébha held her hand over Az-Zhara’s head. “It’s a miracle. He should have been long dead,” she mumbled.

  Lilith bit her nails.

  Ébha moved her hands towards Az-Zhara’s stomach and looked at Lilith.

  “Thankfully, you’ve discovered what you are.”

  “It’s not too late, is it?” Lilith asked softly.

  Ébha shook her head.

  “I tried to heal him, but I couldn’t do anything about this.” Lilith carefully caressed Az-Zhara’s forehead.

  “You discovered too late what was really wrong with him, but your efforts have kept him alive.” Ébha called out to one of the nurses to bring her boiling water.

  Ébha held the hand where the men had chopped off one of the fingers. The finger that was almost completely severed was going dark. Ébha’s gaze came across the ring that Az-Zhara was wearing. “Is he a shapeshifter too?” she whispered.

  Lilith nodded.

  “The same as you?”

  “Yes, he’s also a…”

  Ébha placed a hand against Lilith’s lips and looked around. “Don’t say that out loud around here,” she said even softer. She got a roll of leather out of a basket and unrolled it. Lilith had wondered what was in it when Ébha had been healing her. Now she found out. It contained several silver instruments, strapped in place by cords. There was a row of small, big, narrow, and wide knives. What the glass and silver vials were for, Lilith didn’t know, but the collection of different sized saws troubled her.

  “Where did you go after you left Havv’n?” Ébha asked.

  “I went to the Inuuk and then I travelled north, where I met Az-Zhara.”

  Ébha glanced at Lilith’s clothes and then she looked at Az-Zhara. The nurse brought a stove and a glass jar. “The water is coming,” she said.

  Ébha nodded and dismissed her. “So, you haven’t been back in Merzia at all?” she asked.

  “I only crossed the border back into Merzia a few days ago,” Lilith answered. “Why do you ask?”

  The nurse came back with a kettle of boiling water. “Is there anything else you need?”

  Ébha shook her head. She poured water into the glass jar and placed it on the stove. Then she put a little stand inside the jar. She took a silver vial, two extension pieces, and two knives from her instrument pouch. She placed them on the little stand. After another glance at Az-Zhara’s hand, she added a little saw.

  “Az-Zhara is lucky to have you.” Ébha rolled up Az-Zhara’s tunic. His belly had turned a deep purple. She nodded, as if it confirmed her suspicions. “Do you know what’s wrong with him?”

  Lilith shrugged. “He feels like an empty vessel when I put my hands on him. It’s even hard to feel his presence.”

  “He’s had internal bleeding,” the healeress explained. “You didn’t notice that in time, so he’d already lost a lot of blood when you closed his wounds. Since then he’s been living on your energy, but his body won’t be able to keep that up much longer. Are you willing to donate your blood? You’re the only one who can, because you’re alike.”

  “What do I have to do?”

  Ébha pointed at the instruments. “One needle goes into your artery, the other into one of his veins. The blood will flow from your body into his through the vial.”

  Lilith didn’t hesitate. “Of course I’m willing to do that!”

  Ébha smiled. Before she opened the jar, she cleaned her hands. Then she screwed the extension pieces onto the vial.

  “Clean your wrist with this oil.”

  Lilith did as she was asked. The oil burned her skin.

  “Ready? Lie down next to him.”

  Lilith carefully pushed Az-Zhara to make some more room. She bit her lip when Ébha jabbed the thick needle into her wrist. Immediately there appeared a drop of blood on the other side of the silver instrument. Ébha quickly jabbed that side into Az-Zhara’s arm. Then she held her hands over Lilith’s and Az-Zhara’s forehead.

  “Just relax, Lilith. You need your rest as well. I’m keeping a close eye on you.”

  Lilith awoke with her head on Az-Zhara’s shoulder and her arm wrapped around him. She stretched herself and sat up. Her body was aching from the hard ground she’d been lying on. She placed her hands in her lower back and stretched. Meanwhile, she looked at Az-Zhara. His breathing was hardly visible, but there was a little bit more colour on his cheeks. Lilith leaned over him and gave him a kiss. She had hoped it would make him open his eyes and was disappointed when that didn’t happen.

  Lilith looked around. The nurses were busy. Ébha went from patient to patient.

  Lilith got up and walked up to her. “I’m awake.”

  “I can see that.”

  “Where’s Almor?”

  “He’s in the woods, looking for herbs.”

  “Can you examine Az-Zhara?” Lilith asked.

  Ébha pushed her aside. “I don’t have time, and you can do it yourself. After that, I need you here.”

  Lilith looked around again. It made her happy to think she could be of help to these people. She rushed back.

  She moved her hand towards Az-Zhara, but then she hesitated. Ébha didn’t even touch her patients, but until now Lilith had always carried out her healing skin to skin. Maybe she could also do it through clothes?

  She decided to play it safe. Her hand moved underneath Az-Zhara’s tunic. What she felt reassured her; there was enough blood flowing through his veins. Lilith removed her hands and looked at Az-Zhara as she wondered if there was anything else she could do for him. She tucked him in and decided it was okay to leave him alone.

  For the second time, Lilith made her way through the wounded people. She tried to give them encouraging smiles. When she found Ébha she asked: “What can I do for you?”

  “Wait a second.”

  Lilith watched with interest what Ébha was doing. The healeress held her hands over a woman’s head and shook no. “Unfortunately, I can’t cure this straight away, but I do have some herbs that will help you.” She told the woman what to do with them and sent her on her way.

  Ébha turned to face Lilith. She pointed at a boy. He was leaning against his mother. “Help him.”

  Lilith looked at the boy. He was having difficulty breathing. “Where do I start?”

  “With Az-Zhara it was obvious what you could do, but you missed the most important injury because you immediately started healing. The first thing you have to do is feel. You do that by concentrating on his head.”

  Lilith nodded. She placed her hands on th
e boy’s forehead. Ébha immediately pushed them upwards. “Don’t touch him. It’ll taint your observations, but it can also be dangerous. You might get ill yourself. Try again.”

  Lilith looked at the healeress. She was very strict. Looking around, however, she understood why. There was so much more to do. Lilith held her hands over the boy’s head. She felt his warmth and mentioned that out loud, but she had no words for the other feeling he gave her.

  “Where do your hands want to go?” Ébha asked.

  Lilith concentrated. “To his chest,” she said.

  “Then that’s what you do.” Ébha patted Lilith on the shoulder and then focussed on the woman sitting next to the mother.

  Lilith sat down on the ground in front of the boy. He was clenching his ribs. He was looking at Lilith from behind his hair. “Are you scared?” she asked him.

  He nodded. Lilith understood, because she knew how Merzians felt about healeresses. These people had probably come here as a last resort. If there had been another way to get help, they would have jumped at that chance.

  “I’m Lilith,” she told the boy. “What’s your name?”

  “Michar,” he said softly.

  “I’m here to help you, Michar. I won’t touch you. I’m just going to send some energy into your body to heal you. Whenever you want me to stop, just say so. Okay?”

  Michar nodded.

  Lilith looked at the mother. “Can you support him to make it easier for me to help him?”

  The woman tugged at Michar’s shoulders to make him lean backwards. “Take away your hand,” she told her son.

  “No, that’s fine,” Lilith said. She held her hands a few inches over his ribs and kept a close eye on the boy. She could tell that he felt something happening. “Are you okay?” she asked.

  Michar nodded. There was no more fear in his eyes and his breathing calmed down.

  When she was done, Lilith got up. She turned towards Ébha. “I think I’m ready.”

  Ébha checked her work. She smiled at Michar and gave the woman a packet of herbs. “You’re ready, lad.”

  He nodded. His mother gave him a little push. Michar got up and said to Lilith: “Thank you, ma’am.”