The Stranger In the Guest Room

by V. K. Lockwood

  I wiped away tears that had fallen from my eyes.

  “If I had known, or had any inkling she was even contemplating taking her life, I would’ve quit my job, stayed by her side, and walked with her through this for however long I needed to. But she hid it so well. I had no idea. None. I didn’t even know she miscarried. I just found her and well, that’s when I also found out we lost our fourth one.”

  “I just can’t...”

  He squeezed my hand. “People go through things, and we help them, walk with them, make sure they make it through it. But there are some things that happen, and they become numb and go through the ropes. To us, they appear to be healing when in reality, they’ve fallen so far away from the path, they don’t even realize how far away they are.”

  I cried for him and Claire.

  “Erika,” he said as he let out a few cries. “I know he, Brooks, is struggling. He doesn’t even realize the depth of his pain yet. He’s not the same person you knew. And when he pulls through this event, he will again be someone completely different. But one thing I know is he’s going to need you. If you two were that close, he’s going to need you.”

  I sobbed as I laid my head on his bed. “I’m so scared. Not of him, I’m just... Jaden and...”

  “I know,” Easton whispered. “Trust me. Things always get bad before they get better. Right now, I don’t think his life can get any worse.”

  “Yes, it can,” I sobbed.

  “How? Losing a child is...”

  “Intentional homicide. Look what he did to you.” I wiped my tears again and stared at him. “Look how he left you. He left you to die. On your kitchen floor. What would have happened if I hadn’t...”

  “Shhh,” Easton said. “But I didn’t die, did I? I’m here. I’m going to be okay.”

  “He’s going to spend years in prison for what he did to you and for the kidnapping charge and ...”

  “Erika,” Easton said. “I’ve already made up my mind. I’m not going to press charges. None. I’m not pressing any charges. Look what that man is going through. I survived, and I’m going to be okay. I know that. But he’s going to need an army to stand with him right now. And yes, even with what he did to me, I will stand with him and be there for you and him.”

  “Easton...” I sobbed.

  “I mean it. He is a changed man. And the worst thing right now would be to walk away and leave him in the dark when he needs us the most. Trust me. I had to walk in the dark alone. I had no one.”

  I sobbed harder.

  “You need to be strong for him right now, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “He’s so broken right now, he’s probably still considering ending his life. He’s sitting in a rock-bottom basement, not even looking for a way out. I bet you anything he’s feeling done. He’s feeling defeated, like he’s ruined everyone’s lives around him. He needs you, Erika.”

  I nodded as I stood and hugged him. The urge to cry was so strong, it took everything in me to stop. Not only did I have to be strong for Brooks, but I also had to be strong for Easton too. I didn’t know his story—now I did.

  You never know what others are going through, or what they’ve been through. You never know why they act the way they do, because you don’t know the choices they had to make. You don’t know what mountains are in their journey.

  Each of us has our own mountains to climb in life. If we’re one of the lucky ones, we have someone to walk alongside us. If we’re even luckier, we have someone holding our hand along the way. I would hold Brooks’ hand every step of the way—that is, if he would let me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “That’s fine,” I heard Brooks say, when I asked the officer standing outside his door if I could speak to him alone.

  I closed the door behind me, stepped past the curtain, and stopped at the end of his bed. The first thing I saw were all the bandages on his feet. I felt a shiver of responsibility at the sight.

  “Hey,” he whispered.

  “Hi.”

  “Erika, I’m so sorry,” he blurted out. “I’m so, so, so sorry.”

  “Brooks,” I stopped him as I stepped around to the side of his bed. I paused and stared at him before sitting on the edge of his bed.

  He broke down in tears, which made me break down and cry. He pulled me close against him, wrapped his arms around me, and wept. I could feel his suffering with every painful breath he took. After a few minutes, I raised my head from his chest, sat up straighter, and kissed him on the forehead.

  He took a heavy breath. “Erika...”

  “Brooks,” I interrupted him. “I need to ask one question.”

  He nodded. “Okay. Okay. Go ahead.”

  “Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you feel you couldn’t you tell me?”

  Tears broke from his eyes. I knew it stung him to talk about it, but I needed to know. He swallowed the lump in his throat, peered out the window for a few seconds, and glanced back to me.

  “I guess I...I guess I just wanted to forget,” he started. “I just wanted to go back. I wanted...” His voice trailed off as he seized his breath. “I didn’t want to hear the truth any longer. I had to get away, and I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t and still don’t want it to be real...” he cried.

  “I know,” I said as I gripped his hand. “I don’t either. I feel numb, Brooks. But this is real.”

  He dried his eyes.

  “I just need to know why you couldn’t tell me? We could always tell each other everything, and this time...” I hesitated and searched into his eyes. “This time you couldn’t tell me. You couldn’t be honest with me. I knew something was wrong. I even brought it up to you that it felt like something was wrong, and you still couldn’t tell me. Why?”

  “I don’t know if I have an answer for that, other than, I don’t know who I was—or am. I wanted to tell you, but I also didn’t want to live in that moment of... I guess I just didn’t want to face the fact that he’s... he’s... that he’s...” He brought both his palms to cover his eyes as he sobbed.

  “Brooks,” I whispered as I held him.

  “I’ve made such a mess of everything,” he bawled.

  “No, Brooks.”

  “I just want him back. For years, I needed you back. I grieved over you and endured pain I’ve never felt before. I didn’t think I’d make it without you. Then she... then she...” He paused and took a few breaths to calm himself down. “Now he’s gone. And I just need him back, and I know he’s gone for good. And I messed it up with you, and now you’re gone again, and I’m just...”

  “Wait. Not once have I said I’m leaving, Brooks. Not once.”

  He stared at me.

  “I just asked you why you couldn’t tell me. That’s it. That’s all I’ve said. I want to know what I did that made you feel that way, so I don’t do it again. I want you to be able to tell me everything. And I want to be able to tell you everything.”

  “Erika, I can’t be that man right now.”

  “I know.” I took his hand and held it. “I already know. Just like you were there for me when my world was falling apart, you held me up through it all. I’m going to be right here for you.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t be the man you deserve. I’m not him. I’m not who I was back when it was you and me. I’ll never be him, or close to that ever again, Erika, and I’m sorry.”

  “Brooks, I don’t want to lose you, okay. What happened this past week is not you and me. That’s not who either of us are.”

  “You’re not listening to me,” he sighed. “You need to leave. She wrecked my life, and now I ruined yours and... and... his.”

  “Easton?”

  “Yes.”

  “Brooks, you need to listen to me,” I said sharply. “I’m not giving up this time. You know, I meant everything I said to you this weekend. Every word. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “I can’t promise you I can be the man you want in your life.”

  “But you’r
e the man I need, Brooks. I don’t need anyone or anything else in my life. I need you to know that. We’ve wasted too much time apart. We missed too many years apart that we could have spent together, and I won’t let these last years of our lives be tossed away either. I love you.”

  “I love you too,” he replied as he softened his voice and settled his head against the pillow. “I just need you to go.”

  I stared at him. I thought coming to talk to him face to face would be a steppingstone to our new future together. But he didn’t want me in it, and I felt a twirl of emotions pour out around me.

  He looked towards the wall.

  “Brooks. You need to listen to me. I’ll leave after I’ve said what I need to say. After that, if it’s what you want, I’ll go. If it will make you feel better, then I’ll leave. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to live my life without you. I don’t want to be alone any longer. I don’t want you to be alone.” I rose and wandered towards the window, then turned back to the bed. “What we had in the past was incredible. It was everything I’ve ever wished in my life. It was all the feelings I’ve ever longed to know with a partner. When I wake up, it’s you I think about. All day long, I think about you. Before I go to bed at night, it’s you. It’s always you. It always has been you.”

  He remained silent.

  “Brooks, all I want is you. This pains me to leave. I just need you to know that.” I strode to his bed, leaned over, and kissed him on the side of his forehead. “I love you.”

  I dried the tears streaming from his eye before I stepped out of the room. I headed down towards the waiting room where Margo had been waiting.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I walked down to my kitchen and smiled at Margo, who was already working at the island. “You’re up early again.”

  It had been two days since everything happened and even though it all still felt like it was a dream, the pit in my stomach was enough to remind me just how real everything was.

  “How did you sleep?” she asked.

  “I think okay. I don’t know.”

  “Everything is going to be okay.”

  I smiled at her. “I wish I could believe those words, especially coming from you.”

  She smiled.

  “It’s like I have to go through losing him all over again, you know. Like the first time wasn’t hard enough. I don’t think I ever let him go and now, it’s like I’m forced to do that because he’s not even taking my calls.”

  I called the hospital a few times to talk to Brooks, but he had yet to talk with me. The thought of driving over there had crossed my mind a few times, but the weather and the roads kept Margo and me safe in the cabin.

  “He not taking your calls doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to talk to you. He’s had a lot happen in a short amount of time. A lot of life-altering things happened to him, and we all deal with those issues differently.”

  “This is just not like him. I still don’t even know what I did or said that would make him hold back from telling me the truth. I just have more questions than answers right now, and that is bothering me too. Wondering over and over what the heck I did.”

  “Like I said,” Margo began. “I don’t think his actions right now have anything to do with you. He knows you’re there for him. He knows you want to be with him.”

  “I just want to be there with him. It almost hurts worse being here and not able to see him.”

  She smiled.

  “It’s over, isn’t it? I just need to accept this and try to move past him.” I walked towards the pantry and paused in the doorway. A stark reminder of Brooks. Great! Now every time I walked into my pantry, I’d forever be reminded of him. At least I had all the memories from my first husband in boxes. I could burn those all to hell, but this... Had Brooks all over it.

  “Erika?” Margo asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “You okay?”

  “No, Margo, I’m not okay. He did my pantry and...”

  “Okay,” she said as she stood from the chair. “You go up and take a shower, get ready for the day, and I’m going to make breakfast.”

  “I can make something...”

  “No!” she ordered. “Upstairs. Go. I got this.”

  “You’re too good to me.” I grinned at her and marched upstairs to take a long, hot shower.

  As I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me, I walked towards the window and stared over at Easton’s. I wondered how different things would be now. I felt embarrassed to have brought this upon everyone in the community. I didn’t like attention and wasn’t looking forward to the spring when all the neighbors would be back for the summer. I knew how these tight-knit communities were, and I felt like I had destroyed a part of that.

  “Erika?” Margo knocked on my bedroom door.

  “Yes?”

  “Breakfast, or brunch, I should say, is ready if you want to head down when you’re ready.”

  “Okay. Thank you very much, Margo. I’ll be down in a few.”

  I slipped into my black leggings and red-hooded sweater that again reminded me of Brooks. He had a similar sweater, and many times when we’d see each other, we’d both be wearing ours. I put my hair up in a loose bun, sprayed a dab of perfume, and headed downstairs.

  I walked into the kitchen and stopped in shock.

  “Brooks?”

  He grinned at me as he sat at the island. “In the flesh.”

  “And Easton?”

  “Also in the flesh,” he laughed. “Although I think I have a little more loose flesh than he has.”

  “Oh, stop it!” Margo laughed as she threw a dishrag at him.

  I stared at them, confused. “I didn’t know you... either of you were...”

  “Surprised?” Easton asked.

  I noticed Margo turn away and smile. “Wait. Margo, did you know they were coming here?”

  She grinned. “It was originally my idea. So, yes.”

  Brooks just smiled and shook his head as he sipped on his ice water.

  “I feel like I’m the last to know about something,” I said as I walked over, grabbed a glass‚ and got some ice water from the fridge dispenser. I turned around and leaned up against the counter, facing Easton and Brooks, who sat on the other side of the island.

  “Margo gave me her business card in the hospital. In case there was ever another emergency, she wanted me to call her directly. Well, after Brooks and I talked...”

  I looked at Brooks and then back to Easton. “When did you talk in the hospital?”

  Brooks laughed.

  “You’re laughing now, but you sure weren’t laughing then.”

  They both busted out laughing‚ and Margo turned to me. “Scrambled eggs okay? I made their eggs since they had a special order.”

  I nodded to her and turned back to Brooks and Easton.

  “After you left my room, I asked the nurse to call you back in. But you were already in talking with Brooks. So‚ I asked her if Margo was still around. When they found her in the waiting room, they brought her back to my room. After you left, I had a few more things come to mind that I wanted to say. I was hoping you were still there.”

  “So, at the hotel, Margo, you didn’t say a thing.” I turned to her. “About you and Easton talking after...”

  She smiled. “It wasn’t the right time. You were tired, frustrated, upset... you name it. You needed rest and nothing more to stress you out.”

  “We took care of things,” Easton continued. “So, the next morning, I worked my magic and made them assign us to a double room. Brooks and me. They wheeled me into a room and a few hours later, they wheeled this guy in.” He nudged Brooks with his arm.

  Brooks laughed.

  “You should’ve seen his face!” Easton laughed. “They had the curtain closed around me for privacy when they wheeled him in. Once I knew the nurses were gone, and it was just him and I in the room, I opened the curtain just enough so he could see me. And then I gave him the scare of his life
.”

  They both laughed.

  “I turned to him without smiling, and I said, ready for round two?” Easton laughed at this point. “Then I sat up on the edge of my bed, reached over, and moved his wheelchair so he couldn’t reach it. I think he thought I was going to attack him or something.”

  “I deserved it,” Brooks said as he grinned.

  “So, I stared at him and gave him my speech. Some same details I told you, Erika, the night before. But we had a wonderful talk that day.”

  Brooks nodded.

  “But you should’ve seen his face,” Easton said again, followed by laughter.

  “So, how did you two end up here?” I asked.

  “Well, after our talk, we agreed to call Margo. Or I agreed I’d call her. And I did. We hashed out some details, and I got Gregory to pick us up and bring us back here. Making a long story short, everything is good. We’re good.” He pointed to Brooks. “I think we’re on the same page now.”

  Brooks smiled and nodded.

  “Well, I’m glad you’re both here.”

  “Me too,” Margo chimed in. She grabbed her water glass and held it up. “Cheers to a new beginning. Starting today. New friends. New chapter. New season in life.”

  “Cheers!” we all said in unison as we drank from our glasses.

  “So, I just have one question,” I said. “Who is staying where? I know you’re going to only be able to use one arm for a bit, and you...” I glanced at Brooks.

  “I can’t walk that well yet.” He shook his head and laughed.

  “I’m sorry about that, by the way.” I grinned.

  “I deserved that too,” he said with a deep breath.

  “I told him he’s welcome at my place anytime,” Easton said. “I have an extra couch he can sleep on until he’s well enough to drive.”

  “You’re also welcome to stay here, Brooks,” I said. “I know Margo moved into the room upstairs. But I have the den that I rarely use. It has a couch, but it pulls out into a bed. It’s one of the more comfortable beds. I know there’s no door, but then you don’t have to walk up and down the stairs right now. And the bathroom is right around the corner. You’re more than welcome to make yourself at home there for as long as you’d like.”