by Katie Ashley
“David, honestly,” Mama Beth chided.
Unlike with the rest of us, he didn’t dare argue with Mama Beth. Instead, he took a seat next to Alexandra. After we had all gathered around the table, Mama Beth asked Deacon to say the blessing. During dinner, the conversation remained light. Deacon and Alexandra told us about their honeymoon in Hawaii—or at least they shared the G-rated details with us. Willow filled us in on all we had missed while we were gone. Luckily, no one pressed Annabel with any questions that were too personal.
When we finished dinner, Deacon and I went outside for him to have a smoke. I could tell there was something he wanted to say to me in private. I figured it had to do with potential blowback from what had happened with Mendoza. Of course, I should have known Deacon would never cease to surprise me.
“What do you say we go up to the roadhouse and see the boys?” Deacon asked.
“I would, but I really need to get Annabel settled in.”
“My phone was blowing up during dinner with texts. They’re itching to see you, Prez. You’ve been gone almost ten days,” Deacon argued.
I snorted. “You act like the brothers have been pining away for me like some lovesick teenagers.”
He laughed. “They have been deprived of the Malloy brothers all at the same time for the first time ever.”
“What a tragedy.”
“Come on, man.” He glanced over his shoulder back into the house where we had left the girls. “Not that I would want her to know, but I’ve missed being with the guys while I was off honeymooning.”
“Your reputation as the ultimate lover is waning in my opinion if you were missing the guys while with a beautiful and sexy woman on your honeymoon.”
“Cocksucker,” he muttered as he smacked my arm. “Spending all that time just with Alexandra has made me miss having beers and shooting the shit with the guys.”
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea for me to leave Annabel tonight. She’s in a new place with a bunch of strangers.”
“I think I’ll survive a few hours for you to go just up the hill,” Annabel said.
I whirled around to see her propped against the doorframe. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“And according to your mother, you boys weren’t supposed to duck out on drying the dishes,” she replied with a smile.
Deacon grunted. “I’m a grown fucking man who is still being bossed around by his mother.”
“And now by your wife,” Alexandra said from the doorway as she crooked her finger at him.
“Fuck me,” he muttered before he went into the house.
Annabel came out on the deck to join me.
“Would you really be all right staying here for an hour or two?”
“Of course I would.”
“You’re not just saying that, are you? I know how women will say one thing when they totally mean another.”
Annabel laughed. “Rev, I’m a politician’s daughter. I’ve been raised to work a crowd of strangers. Regardless of what I’ve recently been through, I think I can handle a few hours with the girls.”
“Don’t speak too soon. Willow can wear anyone out in a matter of minutes.”
At the mention of Willow, Annabel’s eyes lit up. “She’s adorable, and I love how she has all the men around here wrapped around her little finger.”
“Yes, I can see where you would find it amusing that three hardened bikers are totally owned by a little six-year-old girl.”
“Exactly.”
Deacon appeared in the doorway. “I did your part, too, brother. So are we on?”
Annabel threw a look at Deacon over her shoulder. “Yes, he’s on.” Before I could argue with her, she added, “Make sure he has a good time. He deserves to unwind and cut loose.”
Deacon grinned at Annabel. “It will be my pleasure.” He came over and grabbed my arm. “Come on.”
Although I was still a little reluctant, I allowed Deacon to drag me off the porch. As I got to the bottom of the steps, I glanced back at Annabel. She smiled and waved.
Our boots crunched along the gravel road. Deacon lit up a cigarette, and when he offered one to me, I decided to take one. I needed to settle my nerves a bit for what I was about to do.
We passed by Case’s place, which had been rebuilt in the six months since his death. Kim and her kids still resided there, even though there wasn’t a patch member in the house. Part of the Raiders creed was to care for our old ladies, and until she remarried, Kim was still an old lady.
I realized then an overwhelming sense of irony that the house had burned down. Before it had been Case’s, it had been Miss Mae’s. The physical dwelling where I had lost my innocence in such a brutal way no longer existed. By telling first Annabel and then Bishop, I had begun to demolish my own house of secrets.
When we reached the back door of the roadhouse, I stepped in front of Deacon. “You got a minute before we go inside?”
He took a long drag on his cigarette. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
I flicked the ashes off mine before I spoke. “There’s something I need to tell you—something I should have told you sixteen years ago.”
Deacon’s expression darkened in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s the reason why Breakneck called me, out of all the guys, when Sarah was in trouble.”
“I’m listening.”
My chest tightened as I braced to once again unburden myself. Maybe the third time was the charm—it seemed to go a little easier this time. When I finished, I didn’t have the quickening, anxious breaths or the erratic heartbeat that I’d had before.
I took another drag on my cigarette and waited for Deacon to respond. What he did next shocked the hell out of me. With all the strength he had, he shoved me against the back door. “What the fuck?” I demanded.
His dark eyes narrowed on me. “Why? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t tell anyone. Not even Mama Beth knows. Once I told Annabel, I realized my brothers and my mother had a right to know.”
“Jesus, Rev,” Deacon muttered through gritted teeth.
“This wasn’t exactly the reaction I expected you to have.”
He released my shirt and took a step back. After jerking a hand through his hair, he shook his head. “I’m not mad at you, brother. I’m mad at myself.”
“But why?”
“I’m just so fucking angry that I couldn’t protect you from being hurt.”
Tears burned my eyes at his words of remorse. “You were just a kid yourself.”
“I was a fighter before Preacher Man got me. I could have taken that fucking pervert out.”
I shook my head. “No one could have done anything to stop it from happening. Thankfully, Preacher Man ended it.”
Deacon threw down his cigarette and stubbed out the glowing embers. “More than anything, I hate that you thought you couldn’t tell me. That I would think differently of you or something.”
“I’m sorry. Preacher Man thought it best not to tell anyone.”
With a snort, Deacon replied, “I think the old man’s greatest fault was his fucking secrets. It was one thing for him to keep them, but he shouldn’t have imposed them on his kids.”
My brows furrowed with confusion. Was Deacon hiding a secret of his own?
He reached in his cut and lit up another cigarette. I fought the urge to tell him he needed to cut the shit out now he had a kid and one on the way. “When I was fifteen, Preacher Man found where my real father was. He offered to let me be the one to put a bullet in him.” Deacon stared at me straight on. “So I did.”
“Jesus,” I muttered. I’d had no idea anything like that had ever happened. I just knew Deacon’s biological father disappeared after he killed Deacon’s mother.
“Guess you could say I started early with my body count.”
“You had every right to take that motherfucker to ground, Deacon. Just like Preacher Man had every right to kill Kurt.
”
Deacon exhaled a puff of smoke and then grinned. “Don’t think I’ve spent one single night wishing I hadn’t killed my old man.”
“I didn’t think you had. It’s just a lot for a fifteen-year-old kid to have to deal with.”
“You can say that again.” Then, in a totally uncharacteristically Deacon move, he pulled me to him for a hug. “I love you, brother. Always have and always will.”
It took me a moment to process his words. Deacon and Bishop hadn’t told me they loved me over the years, but then again, they hadn’t needed to. I just knew. But knowing now that both my brothers would have defended me, would have killed Kurt for me, branded me with a different strength. Solidarity within family as well as within the Raiders. I did, however, fear how Mama would react. This would break her heart.
I smacked his back and squeezed him tight. “I love you, too.”
As he pulled away, I thought for a second I saw a tear in his eye, but I quickly dispelled that thought. Nothing made Deacon cry. He jerked his head at the door. “Enough of the emotional bullshit. Let’s go in there and get shitfaced.”
I laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”
With a wink, he said, “First round’s on me.”
TWELVE
ANNABEL
The next morning once again found me in a strange room and a strange bed. When the familiar feeling of panic began to creep over me, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the fact that it wasn’t completely foreign, since it was Rev’s room and Rev’s bed. Even though I had protested that he shouldn’t sleep on the couch, he had refused to hear me out. I felt dwarfed as I stretched in the massive king-sized bed. When the comforter brushed across my face, I instantly smelled Rev’s masculine scent, and I finally felt safe, protected . . . cared for.
A knock at the door had me shooting up in bed. “Yes?”
Rev poked his head in. “I just wanted to see if you were awake.”
I offered him a smile. “I woke up a few minutes ago, but I’m lying here being lazy.”
“I wouldn’t call it being lazy. It’s more like you need the rest.”
“Yes, Dr. Malloy.”
“Anyway, I came in to see if you wanted some breakfast.”
“Yes, but I can fix it. I don’t want you to wait on me.”
A sheepish expression came over his face. “Actually, Mama Beth cooked. She called earlier to see if we wanted to come over.”
“I would love to. I’ll be ready in five minutes.”
“Okay,” he replied before closing the door.
I threw back the covers and hurried into the bathroom. Rev had informed me last night how he and his brothers had worked on remodeling the old duplexes into one house. Next door to us was Deacon and Alexandra’s house, and on the other side of them was Bishop. Apparently some of the other club officers lived in the other houses.
While he might’ve been worried about what I would think of his house, I found it gorgeous. If you had walked inside not knowing the occupant was the member of an MC club, your first impression would have been that someone highly intellectual lived there. Like me, Rev seemed to love anything old, so the furniture could have fit in among the contents of any antiques store. I couldn’t wait to explore the wall-to-wall bookshelves in the living room.
After I brushed my teeth, splashed some water on my face, and threw my hair, which was about one wash from being back to its natural color, into a ponytail, I came out of the bathroom and slipped into the clothes I had worn the day before. I was hoping in the next few days to find a local branch of my bank. I didn’t want Rev to continue paying for food and clothes. I already owed him far too much.
When I came out of the bedroom, I found him in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. It was when he turned around to face me that I did a double take. “Your beard,” I gasped.
He ran his hand over his smooth, hairless face. “Yeah, I don’t usually wear one. The guys gave me some shit last night about it, so I figured it was time to get rid of it.”
It was surprising how different he looked—younger, softer, and maybe more approachable. As I continued staring at him, he ran a hand over his face. “Do I look that bad?”
I shook my head furiously. “No, no, it’s not that at all. It’s just I’ve never seen you without a beard.”
“From your expression, it looks like you prefer me with one.”
“Actually, I think I like you without one just as much as with one.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I do.”
He grinned. “Then you’d be one of the few who does like me with a beard. The guys were calling me Professor Malloy last night, like I was trying to be some pompous ass instead of a hard-ass.”
I waved my hand dismissively. “Don’t listen to them. Grow it back if you want.”
“I’ll take it under consideration.” He crossed the room to open the door. “Ready?”
“I am.”
We made the quick walk across the street to Rev’s mother’s house. Even after spending the evening with her, I still found it hard to call her Beth, as she had requested. “Mrs. Malloy” seemed to come off my tongue easier.
I wasn’t too surprised to find the table laden with food and occupants. Deacon was fixing Willow a plate while Alexandra helped Beth get the food on the table. A sleepy-eyed Bishop lounged in a chair, dressed in nothing but boxer shorts.
At the sight of his brother’s half-naked form, Rev cleared his throat. Bishop stopped rubbing his eyes to question, “What?”
“I think you can afford our guest a little more decency,” Rev replied through gritted teeth. I knew he was worried that seeing a half-naked man might be a trigger for me. The truth was a stranger might have bothered me, but I knew Bishop well enough to know he wasn’t a threat.
“Seriously?” Bishop questioned.
“Dead serious.”
As Bishop started to argue with him, Deacon smacked him on the back of the head. “I’m with Rev. You need to have a little more respect for the women.”
“I thought we were all family here,” Bishop argued.
Alexandra set down a plate of bacon. Then she patted Bishop’s shoulder. “Your brothers are just worried that they might look bad in front of us after we’ve seen your magnificent form.”
Her lighthearted response was just what the room needed to ease the tension. Bishop immediately hopped out of his chair. “When you put it like that, I’m more than happy to cover up so these douchebags can save face.”
I laughed and Alexandra smiled, while Rev and Deacon only shook their heads at their brother’s antics. “What’s a douchebag?” Willow asked innocently.
Deacon groaned. “It’s not a nice word, and your Uncle B should get in trouble for saying it.”
When I noticed that Willow had the alligator Rev had given her in the crook of her arm, I nudged him. “Looks like someone really likes her present.”
Rev grinned. He then went over and bestowed a kiss on Willow’s cheek. “You like that ugly old alligator, huh?”
Willow nodded and then craned her neck to stare up at Rev. “You cut off your beard.”
“I did. Do you like it?”
“Oh yes. It tickled too much when you kissed me.”
Rev laughed. “Then I’m glad I shaved it off.”
Once Bishop returned in a shirt and jeans, Beth asked Rev to say grace. When he finished, I happily dug in. Beth had made pancakes, which were a favorite of mine. I had to wonder if Rev had somehow managed to tell her.
As I sat around the table with them, listening to their conversation and laughter, I tried to imagine myself a part of their world. While everything felt comfortable and familiar between them, I couldn’t help wondering how they handled the danger that came with being a part of the biker world. As unsure as I was about my future, I didn’t know how I could ever fit in here. After all, I’d experienced enough danger and violence in the last two months to last a lifetime. I craved peace and safety more than anything in the wo
rld.
When I was so full I thought I might pop, I placed my napkin on the table. “Did you get enough to eat, Annabel?” Beth asked.
“Oh yes. More than enough. Everything was delicious.”
Beth beamed at my compliment. “I’m so glad you enjoyed it.”
“Do you feel up for a walk?” Rev asked.
“Sure. What did you have in mind?”
“There’s somewhere I’d really like to show you,” he replied, with a shy smile.
I returned his smile. “Okay.”
Like the true gentleman he was, Rev held out his hand for me. I slipped mine into his and let him pull me up from my chair. “Wait, shouldn’t we help clean up?” I asked.
Beth shook her head. “You two go on. The fresh air will be good for you, and there’s a storm supposed to move in later today.”
“Okay. If you’re sure.”
“I’m positive,” Beth replied with a smile.
With a nod to his brothers and mother, Rev and I walked out the back door. We headed down the porch steps and then into the thick woods.
Rev pushed slightly ahead me, and a rush of warmth flooded my chest when I realized it was so he could keep branches from hitting me. I fought the urge to reach out and pinch him to see if he was real. He was certainly unlike any man I had ever known, and that included the ones in my family.
“Where is this place you want to show me?” I asked, breaking the silence between us.
Glancing at me over his shoulder, he replied, “About a mile into the woods. Give or take.”
“We’re going hiking?” Since I was supposed to be taking it easy and Rev was still healing from his gunshot wound, I certainly hoped we weren’t about to do anything intense.
“No. Not really.”
“Then what is it that’s hidden away a mile into these woods?”
He cut his gaze over to mine. “It’s a surprise.”
I cocked my brows at him. “Seriously?”
“What? Don’t you like surprises?”
With a shrug, I replied, “I guess so. It’s just . . .”
“Just what?” he implored.
“You don’t impress me as the kind of guy who does surprises.”
