Friends Without Benefits

by Dena Blake

  Friends Without Benefits

  Dex Putnam has been in love with her best friend Grace Standish since the fifth grade. Grace is smart, beautiful, and most unfortunately, straight. Life would’ve been perfect if Grace had only loved her back, but when Grace gets married, Dex knows it’s time to move on. Then Dex meets Emma Lawson, and her life takes a whole new direction. Only trouble is, she never expected to have to choose between her best friend and her new love.

  Emma Lawson is successful and happy except when it comes to love. She’s been alone for a year and has no intention of giving love another chance, until falling for Dex changes everything. When Grace comes between them, Emma refuses to be second best. Can Emma show Dex what true love really looks like?

  Praise for Dena Blake

  A Country Girl’s Heart

  “Dena Blake just goes from strength to strength.”—Les Reveur

  Unchained Memories

  “There is a lot of angst and the book covers some difficult topics but it does that well. The writing is gripping and the plot flows.”—Melina Bickard, Librarian, Waterloo Library (UK)

  “This story had me cycling between lovely romantic scenes to white-knuckle gripping, on the edge of the seat (or in my case, the bed) scenarios. This story had me rooting for a sequel and I can certainly place my stamp of approval on this novel as a must read book.”—The Lesbian Review

  Where the Light Glows

  “From first time author Dena Blake, Where the Light Glows is a sure winner.”—A Bookworm’s Loft

  “[T]he vivid descriptions of the Pacific Northwest will make readers hungry for food and travel. The chemistry between Mel and Izzy is palpable.”—RT Book Reviews

  “I’m still shocked this was Dena Blake’s first novel…It was fantastic…It was written extremely well and more than once I wondered if this was a true account of someone close to the author because it was really raw and realistic. It seemed to flow very naturally and I am truly surprised that this is the author’s first novel as it reads like a seasoned writer.”—Les Reveur

  Friends Without Benefits

  Brought to you by

  eBooks from Bold Strokes Books, Inc.

  http://www.boldstrokesbooks.com

  eBooks are not transferable. They cannot be sold, shared or given away as it is an infringement on the copyright of this work.

  Please respect the rights of the author and do not file share.

  Friends Without Benefits

  © 2018 By Dena Blake. All Rights Reserved.

  ISBN 13: 978-1-63555-350-5

  This Electronic Original Is Published By

  Bold Strokes Books, Inc.

  P.O. Box 249

  Valley Falls, NY 12185

  First Edition: December 2018

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

  Credits

  Editor: Shelley Thrasher

  Production Design: Stacia Seaman

  Cover Design by Melody Pond

  By the Author

  Where the Light Glows

  Unchained Memories

  A Country Girl’s Heart

  Racing Hearts

  Friends Without Benefits

  Acknowledgments

  I cannot say enough about the awesomeness of the Bold Strokes Books team. You take care of all the details and make my job so much easier. My thanks, always, to Len Barot and Sandy Lowe. Without the two of you, my books would never reach the world.

  To my editor extraordinaire, Shelley Thrasher. You are the best editor EVER. You tirelessly sift through my mistakes and repetitions while still making me feel as though I’ve created a masterpiece.

  Thanks to the BSB family for taking me in and treating me like one of your own. I truly feel the love. You are all the best.

  To Kate for loving me. You’re my lobster. To Wes and Haley for saying “that’s awesome, Mom” whenever I have a new idea. To my family, always know that each one of you is very special to me. I love you.

  To my readers, thanks for being there to pick up this book and cheer me on when I’m writing the next. You’ll never know just how much that makes my day.

  To the girl next door who never knew…

  Chapter One

  Dex Putnam stood helplessly as the kiss of death spiraled toward her. The voices around her stilled and everything slowed. She was frozen, unable to move from its path. Faces blurred as people moved in slow motion toward her. The crowd gasped as the impact forced the breath from her chest. Flickers of red clouded her vision, and she fell backward to the floor. She raised her head, blinked, and stared at the crimson splattered across her chest. This was the end of life as she knew it.

  She looked up at the stunned faces around her as they watched the lethal scene unfold. It was like a grisly scene in a horror movie, and Dex was in the middle of it. They seemed to all know her life was over too.

  She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, shrugging off the pain slashing through her heart. She’d made the wrong choice in getting out of bed this morning, the wrong choice in coming here, and so many wrong choices in her past. The look on her sister Juni’s face reflected her pain as she dropped to the floor next to her and stared into her eyes.

  “Dex. Dex!” Juni’s voice echoed in her head as she watched the crowd close in around her. “It’ll be all right.” Juni wiped away the tear beginning to form in Dex’s eye.

  It wouldn’t be all right. Nothing would ever be right again. Regrets swam in her mind as Juni stood and offered Dex her hand. She gripped it and hauled herself to her feet, staring into the bride’s vibrant blue eyes as the roses from the crimson wedding bouquet that cursed her chest fell to the floor. Dex had just watched her soul mate promise herself to another. Now she’d been branded as the next in line to marry. Considering who held her heart, that was a long shot.

  “Come on, love.” Juni tugged Dex’s arm. “Let’s get you a drink.”

  She couldn’t get to the bar fast enough. Twenty or more women rushed toward the bouquet left abandoned on the floor as she and Juni walked away. It was like a Black Friday mob scene, and all these women lived and breathed for those flowers. The bouquet indicated they would be the next to wed, but not Dex. She’d never intended to marry anyone other than Grace.

  Juni leaned against the bar and shouted to the bartender, “Gin and tonic, and a shot of whiskey.”

  Dex smiled at her sister, who knew exactly what she needed. She glanced back at several women who seemed to be checking her out, then turned back to the bar and groaned. “Why does this shit always come my way?” She picked the remaining crumpled rose petals from her cleavage and then stared at her boobs for a moment. She did have a nice set to offer but didn’t let them out in public often. She tugged on the semi-strapless gown—a ridiculous pink chiffon, eighties-throwback prom dress ten times too expensive for something she’d never wear again. If anyone dared to present such an atrocity on Project Runway, Heidi Klum would be running after this designer onstage screaming “You’re out” at the top of her lungs.

  “What? The bouquet?” Juni shook her head. “Grace nailed you on purpose. Now every girl at this wedding will be after you. I’ve written your number on a stack of napkins by the cake to make it easier for them to get in touch.”

  “I’ll make sure to get a burner phone in the morning.”

  “Come on, Dex. Have a little fun tonight. It’s the beginning of the rest of your life without Grace.”

 
“Easier said than done.” The bartender returned with their drinks, and Dex downed the shot. “This day started out crappy and has only gotten worse.” She glanced back to the dance floor, where the remnants of the bouquet lay scattered about, taunting her. Then she caught a glimpse of Grace dancing with her new husband. “Another shot, please.” She slid the glass back to the bartender, and he poured.

  “Take it easy, little sister. It’s gonna be a long night.”

  She nodded. “Just doing a little prep for it.” She threw the next shot back and blew a breath out through her nose as the alcohol burned its way down her throat.

  As of three hours ago, Grace would take on the name of Richardson, not Putnam, as Dex had hoped for all those years. She glanced at Grace and Brent, who’d moved to the dance floor. The two of them had met at the gym, where Grace worked the front desk, and Brent had been a customer. Dex had been forced to listen to all the details from the start of this fairy-tale romance. Grace seemed to be gloriously happy since she’d met Brent, and it crushed Dex to know she hadn’t been the cause of that happiness. She was destined to be left on the sidelines of Grace’s love life, as only a spectator while it played out.

  She’d loved Grace Standish since childhood, and Grace was well aware of her feelings. Her life would’ve been perfect if only Grace had loved her the same way, but she didn’t have the tiniest interest in women. Dex was the first one to admit that Grace had loved her more than any woman, other than her sister, but that was the extent of their relationship. Friends without benefits…forever. At least the kind of benefits Dex wanted.

  * * *

  The music had slowed, and suddenly Dex felt arms around her waist. She closed her eyes and took in the sultriness of Grace’s voice as she whispered in her ear, “It’s our song. Come dance with me.”

  The slow beat of James Taylor’s “You’ve Got a Friend” pulsed in Dex’s head. Of course their song couldn’t have been a fast one.

  The alcohol was beginning to take effect, and the song hit Dex square in the chest as she held Grace in her arms. Grace was more gorgeous tonight than she’d ever seen her. Thick black lines traced her eyelids, and Grace’s indigo eyes danced with a sparkle she hadn’t noticed before. Grace tugged her closer, and Dex melted into her and took in her essence. With their cheeks pressed together as they danced, the sweet smell of hyacinth filled her head and she warmed all over. She wanted to be part of Grace’s happiness, just not in a spectator sort of way. This was too much. She pushed back and stared into Grace’s eyes, the compassion she saw in them overwhelming. Grace knew exactly what she was feeling, and Dex thought she might be feeling a little of it herself.

  The music morphed into Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend.” Grace seemed as though she wanted to say something but didn’t know what. Dex held her gaze for a moment before she smiled and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Then she immediately threw Grace out into a twirl and pulled her back against her. It should be clear to anyone watching that they’d danced together many times before, and they had. They moved in sync as Dex spun Grace around the dance floor, smiling and laughing while her heart was bleeding from within. Dex refused to ruin Grace’s big day no matter how much it hurt.

  “Happy Together” by the Turtles played next, and then Brent was there, pulling Grace away from her. The torment in Dex’s heart raged as her hand slipped from Grace’s and she danced away from her. The classic A-line, V-neck sleeveless Chantilly lace dress made her into the most perfect princess, only no lost glass slipper would be found tonight. Time to go back to the bar.

  Juni sidled up next to her. “I saw you dancing out there. Showing off your stuff.” She swiped the shot from in front of Dex and drank it. “Looking good.”

  “Since when do you drink whiskey?”

  “Just taking one for the team.” Juni grimaced as she dipped her head to get Dex’s attention. “You okay?”

  “Hanging in there.”

  “Awesome.” Juni glanced at the table where she’d been sitting. A man there seemed to be keeping her attention. Dark hair, nicely trimmed beard, wearing a dark-gray suit and tie. At least he knew how to dress for a wedding. That was a plus.

  “Who’s that?” Dex asked.

  “His name’s Josh. He owns Crushed Beans, the coffee shop on the corner by the bookstore.”

  She glanced at the table where Juni had been sitting. She seemed to be keeping Josh’s attention as well. “Learning all the ins and outs of coffee brewing?”

  “And more,” Juni said with a huge grin.

  “Wouldn’t that be awesome if the Bookworm merged with Crushed Beans?” Dex pulled her mouth in to a grin and widened her eyes. “Then you could call it Crushed Worms.”

  Juni slapped Dex’s shoulder. “That’s absolutely awful. I haven’t put all my sweat into that business to destroy it with one shitty logo.”

  “I thought it was rather unique.” She chuckled louder than the line probably deserved.

  Juni had bought the bookstore years ago, when the place was on its last legs. The owner had been taking any profit he made and putting it into his lifestyle rather than the store. He’d let the inventory run down so much that by the time Juni bought it, the store was barely seeing ten customers a week. Dex had helped her clean, paint, and reshelve the space, and now Juni had turned it into a thriving business.

  Dex eyed Josh for a few more minutes, and he waved. “Well then. You’d better get back to him.”

  “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Spectacular.” She tapped her fingers on the bar.

  “Okay. I’ll be back in a bit.” Juni sped off toward the table where Josh was waiting.

  “How about Beans and Books?” she shouted after her.

  Juni swung around, pulled her eyebrows together, and mouthed, “Stop.”

  When Dex caught sight of Grace again, she was absolutely stunning, glowing as the sunset rained through the plate-glass windows behind her. She remembered the night she’d realized Grace knew she was in love with her. They were on a girls-only skiing trip in New Mexico with some of their other friends. They’d reserved a vacation rental with only four rooms for eight of them. Dex had immediately regretted going when she found out she and Grace would be sharing a room with only one queen-size bed.

  After dinner the first night, even though she was exhausted from skiing, Dex had fidgeted and talked endlessly in an attempt to prolong getting into bed with Grace. She’d thought once Grace fell asleep, she’d just sleep in the chair or lie on top of the blankets. Hazy eyed, Grace finally got out of bed, kissed her on the cheek, and said very sweetly that she knew how she felt about her. Then she took her by her hand and told her to come to bed. Grace snuggled up behind her and spooned her all night long. It was the closest she’d ever been to the woman she loved, a night filled with palpable pleasure and unrelenting pain. She shook the memory from her mind as she waved at the bartender and pointed to her empty glass.

  Chapter Two

  Dex’s head throbbed, and her mouth felt like someone had stuffed it with cotton. How much had she drunk last night? Things had become hazy, and she’d lost count after the fourth shot. She remembered Juni walking away from the bar and bringing her back a plate of food soon after that. Or was that later? Then a glass of water had appeared on the bar in front of her. A fuzzy image of a pair of light, silvery-blue eyes and curly black hair flashed through her mind. Wait. Was that Juni?

  The sun was seeping through her eyelids. She rolled over, smashed her face into the pillow, and took a deep breath to settle her stomach. She immediately blew it out and took in another breath. The soothingly sensual scent of jasmine and orange blossom filled her head. Not my pillow! She snapped her eyes open and scanned the room. Not my bed! Bolting up, she squeezed her eyelids closed to force away the constant thumping behind them and fell back to the warm place she’d come from. Her stomach needed to settle before she moved again. Open bars at weddings are never a good idea.

  Lying perfectly still, she let he
r sight stretch to the far edges of her peripheral vision. Muted beige and sage-green colors covered the walls, a nice combination with the white molding. Whose bed was she in? Not hers. Not Juni’s. Fuck! Who had taken her home? Clearly she’d blacked out at some point last night.

  Listening for sounds of someone in the house, she didn’t move for what seemed like an eternity, until her bladder couldn’t take it anymore. Noting her lack of clothing as she sprinted into the bathroom, she wondered if she’d had sex last night. She didn’t feel like it, but it wouldn’t be the first time she’d pleased another woman without gaining any gratification of her own. She really needed to stop drinking.

  As she came out of the bathroom, she spotted her bridesmaid dress hanging from a hook on the wall. A stack of clothes sat on the chair next to it, a pair of flip-flops on the floor, and a note written on pink, rose-patterned paper lay neatly on top of the T-shirt.

  In case you’d rather not be seen in public wearing this retro-piece-of-shit dress from the wedding.

  The sentence was punctuated with a wink face at the end. “Oh my God.” She shook her head. Obviously she’d spilled many of her thoughts to this woman last night, whoever she was. She pulled on the T-shirt and yoga pants, which were a bit snug, before she slipped through the doorway and crept down the hall. It led to a decent-sized living area with a breakfast bar that peered into the kitchen. She’d hoped to avoid an uncomfortable reunion with whomever she’d latched onto last night, and it seemed she’d been successful.