Witch Cursed in Westerham

by Dionne Lister

  Angelica was grinning, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “The horn is a nice touch, don’t you think? I’m rather proud of that feature, even though I didn’t actually mean for it to happen.”

  “It’s my favourite part of the car. You know, the world would be a much happier place if everyone had duck cars. Driving would be so much more fun.”

  “You make a good point, dear. Maybe you should write to some of the car companies, see if they can accommodate your wishes.”

  “I’ll put it on my to-do list.”

  Will sat at the table and refolded his arms. Grumble bum. “I’m glad you two find this so damn hilarious, but I want my car back. No self-respecting agent drives a car that looks like that.” He shook his head. “I can’t even ask someone to fix it because I’d be the laughing stock of headquarters.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re far too sensitive. Get over it. It’s just a bit of fun. I assure you, it doesn’t affect your manhood in any way.” I waggled my eyebrows, then laughed.

  “This is where I stop the conversation.” Angelica sat down. “No more talk about William’s manhood, thank you.”

  “I’ll second that,” said Will.

  “You people are no fun.” I sighed loudly for effect.

  Three paper bags appeared on the table. I jerked back. Bloody unexpected food arriving by Witcheroo. Except, I was hungry, so I wasn’t going to complain. Angelica grabbed one bag, opened it, and looked at me. “I took the liberty of ordering dinner. Would you mind getting some plates, dear?”

  I stood. “Of course.” I did as asked, plus grabbed cutlery and returned to the table, placing everyone’s settings in front of them. I inhaled. “Mmm, so, what yumminess did you get?” I sat and checked out the offerings. Barbecue chicken, baked vegetables, and garlic bread. “Thanks, Angelica. This looks delicious.”

  We all tucked in, and Will settled down after the ribbing we’d given him. My mouth curled up on one side. I’d needed that laugh after the week I’d had so far.

  After dinner, we all cleared the table. I washed up while Will dried, then Angelica made tea, and we adjourned to the Chesterfields in the living room. By Angelica’s serious face, we were likely about to discuss PIB stuff. “Yes, dear, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

  Damn mind-reading. “Can’t you turn it off?”

  “I can protect myself against other people’s thoughts, which I normally do for non-witches, but it takes magic, magic I don’t want to use. It’s my talent, which means I can use it without making a spell, but I can’t block it unless I cut off my magic, or I use a specific type of mind shield.” I frowned. “Sorry, but it is what it is.” I needed to get a T-shirt with that on it. It seemed to be the motto for my life.

  I relaxed back into the couch. “Well, at least we can talk without being listened in on. Millicent and her dad took care of it.”

  “That they did.” Will nodded. “They did a mighty good job of it too. I’ve never seen weaves like that before. They sent me the plans, but they’ve put a masking spell on the ones around the house.”

  “Doesn’t that use too much power?”

  “Not always. They’ve used a tie-off spell which minimises it, and once we have our faculties back in proper working order, we’ll make it so Angelica and I share the load, which is minimal—about what it takes to make two cups of coffee.”

  Ah, I could totally relate to that. “Are you any closer to catching who did this or fixing our magic?”

  They shared a poker-faced look. Well, that was enlightening. Not.

  Will turned his upper body towards me. “We’re still whittling down suspects. It’s extremely hard, given the lack of evidence. We just need a breakthrough, or for them to do something that clarifies things for us. There were three thefts of personal property, and they all happened to be from families of agents. The targeted businesses were seemingly random, but for all we know, there could be a specific reason.”

  “Or not,” Angelica said. “As Will said: it’s too early to tell. We have used your photographic information, though. We’ve put their heights and builds into my own personal system—we don’t want questions about where we received that information. I’m hoping when we get more information, we’ll be able to use your talent to uncover who it is.”

  “I’ll help whenever you need me.” Trying to get away from the PIB hadn’t worked so far, so I might as well save myself the energy and go with it. I did love helping people—it was more the danger I could do without. “I’m guessing you have no new news on curing us?”

  Angelica sat up straighter—if that was possible. Her chin raised just a smidge. It was enough to tell me she was defensive. “We’ll get there. Rome wasn’t built in a day, as they say. This is a complicated matter. I assure you that you’ll be one of the first to know when we have something.”

  I gave her a gentle smile. “It’s okay. I know it’s a hard task. You’ll definitely get there. It’s not like you to fail. I bet you’ve never failed at anything in your life. I have total faith in you and the PIB team.”

  It was meant to be encouraging, but she pressed her lips together before re-engaging her poker face. Her tone was stiff. “Thank you, Lily. Of course I’ll succeed. It’s what I do.” She was so… Ma’am. “I take it you’re available to work tomorrow if we need you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. I’ll call you when we need you. Now, I’ve got some paperwork to do, so I’ll leave you young ’uns to it.” She stood and walked out. Her footfalls on the stairs indicated she was going to work from her bedroom. If she’d had properly operating magic, she likely would’ve gone back to the PIB, but now she was homebound. At least we were safe here. Hopefully I’d sleep tonight.

  Will took my hand, threading his fingers through mine. “Want to watch some TV?”

  I nodded. “I’ve been so busy lately that I’m so far behind on Outlander. Can we watch that?”

  He tilted his head to the side. “You just love that Jamie fellow.” He smirked. “I know you.”

  “Well, Claire isn’t bad either. I’m sure you can suffer through a couple of episodes.”

  He waggled his brows. “I’m sure I can.”

  I grinned and stood, pulling him up with me. At least we could enjoy tonight. Tomorrow, however, was another matter.

  Chapter 7

  The next morning, Angelica woke us at seven thirty, deciding that I was going to go into work with her and Will. Because they had to drive, and Will refused to drive the duck, we all had to go together in her car. At least the duck brought a chuckle out of me. As we left, I enquired as to why we couldn’t take the duck, which elicited a dirty look from Will and a smirk from Angelica. Even though Angelica would’ve been game (pardon the pun), there was only going to be duck travel over Will’s “dead body.” We went sans quackmobile. Spoilsport.

  As soon as we got in, we went to Ma’am’s office. Liv, surprisingly, was there. As soon as she saw me, she grinned. “Lily! I wasn’t expecting you in today.” She gave me a hug.

  “I wasn’t expecting to be in either. Do you need help with anything?” I had to assume Ma’am had corralled her to assist, and she was going to be very busy. “I’m here just in case I’m needed out in the field.” I put my bag under Ma’am’s large table. My bag contained everything I might need for the day because I couldn’t just magic anything to myself on short notice.

  Ma’am sat in her chair, and Will sat in one of her guest chairs while Liv sat in the other. I dragged another chair from the reception area, placed it next to Liv, and sat.

  Ma’am raised her hand, then opened her mouth in a little “o,” likely realising she couldn’t magic whatever it was to her. She picked up the phone and dialled. Crisis averted. Although I didn’t think of Will’s car as being a disaster, I grinned.

  While Ma’am was on the phone, Liv asked, “What’s so funny?”

  Will shot a glare my way, but it just made me giggle. Rather than explain, I took my phone out of my bag and
brought up the picture of the bright-yellow quackmobile. “That’s Will’s Range Rover.”

  Liv’s mouth dropped open, and then she laughed. “Oh my, that’s hilarious.”

  “And the horn is a quack.”

  “You just had to add that in, didn’t you?” Will folded his arms, a surly expression on his face.

  I grinned. “Of course. It’s my favourite part.”

  “Wait till Beren sees this!” Liv’s eyes glistened as she tried to stop laughing. “Can you text it to him?”

  Will gave me another dirty look and turned back to Ma’am, who’d hung up. “What’s on the agenda for today, Ma’am?”

  Ma’am straightened her smile. “I’m waiting for some files to be brought in. Then we can go through the facts of the case so far. We just need to find one str—”

  Thunder boomed and rattled the windows. Liv and I slammed our hands over our ears. It was so loud, it was as if it was coming from inside the building. Was it an earthquake? Was the building about to collapse?

  Instead of another thunderclap as I expected, the buzz of magic vibrated my scalp, familiar, but I couldn’t place whose it was. Sizzling echoed through Ma’am’s office. Glowing blue letters fizzled like a burning sparkler into the air in front of the wall to Ma’am’s left. We all stared as words formed.

  At 10:00 a.m., Lloyds Bank will be £20,000,000 poorer, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Do you know what PIB stands for? Pathetically Impotent Bunglers. Until next time...

  The message hovered—whoever it was, was letting us take time to read it, like we were that slow. Sheesh. Fortunately, it did give me time to grab my phone and take a picture, just in case we needed it later. After about a minute, the sizzling stopped, and the letters faded. Ma’am and Will stared at each other, probably thinking about what the best response would be before they rushed into action. Ma’am’s brow furrowed, and she shook her head. “We can’t tell them.”

  Will nodded. “Agreed. We don’t have enough to go on, and if it’s a bluff, we’ll look stupid. Even if it’s legit, we don’t know how they’re going to do it, so there’s no way to stop it happening. It’s not like they can shut down every branch and all their online services. Maybe just send them a warning?”

  “Hmm.” She looked as if she were considering it. But then her eyes opened slightly larger. “Can you get Agent Bianchi on the phone please? Ask him to check the shields. I thought we’d redone everything.”

  “As far as I know, we have.” Will’s brow did its usual thing and wrinkled.

  There was a knock at the outer door of Ma’am’s office. I jumped up. “I’ll get it.” It was likely the documents she requested earlier. I hurried to the receptionist’s office and opened the door. A short, mousy-looking woman stood there, a pile of folders in her arms. I stood aside. “Just through there.” She quietly thanked me and went in.

  As I stepped into Ma’am’s office, Mousy was already leaving. She scurried past me and through the door, shutting it behind her. I sat in my chair. “What are you going to do?”

  Ma’am drummed her fingers on the table. “Doing nothing chafes my sensibilities. I agree with you, Agent Blakesley; we need to warn Oscar. He’ll deal with it discreetly.”

  “Who’s Oscar?” Liv asked.

  “He’s on the bank’s board of directors. He’ll know who to contact to keep an eye out. This will have to be kept to witches only, for obvious reasons. If the money is taken, the normal police will be involved, and we’ll let them do their thing. Maybe they’ll figure out who it is before us. Our contacts inside will keep us updated. I just don’t want anyone to know we’ve been compromised. We’re already having trouble with funding. Anything else that makes us look like a bunch of hacks or has-beens, and this whole thing could get shut down.”

  I blinked a few times. “But that’s absurd! Who would deal with witch crimes if we weren’t around… I mean, you guys? It’s not like witches would suddenly stop offending.”

  “There’s politics going on that you’re better off not knowing about, dear. Suffice it to say that not everyone involved in our organisation wants to see us succeed. Their interests are better served elsewhere, where they stand to gain more power. That’s all I’m going to say.” She looked at Liv. “Set up a meeting in the conference room for”—she looked at her watch—“ten thirty. I want Agents Bianchi, DuPree, Cardinal, Flinders, and Johanssen.“

  Liv stood. “Consider it done. I’ve got everything I need in Agent Bianchi’s office. Do you require anything else?”

  “Just that, at the moment. Actually, now that I can’t use my magic, I’d like you to attend the meeting too, to take notes.” Ma’am turned her gaze on me. “Lily, you can go through these files. There are printouts of all the criminals we’ve incarcerated over the last ten years who are still in prison. Read through them and pick out all the ones who have threatened the PIB. For all we know, someone inside is pulling the strings.”

  Will nodded. “From the correspondence so far, it sounds personal, as if whoever it is holds a grudge.”

  “I couldn’t pinpoint it exactly, but the magic felt familiar. Kind of like when you see someone and you’re sure you know them but not from where.”

  Ma’am’s brows drew down. “Are you sure you can’t place it? Think, Lily. This is very important.” As if I didn’t know how important it was. I forced my eyes to stare forward rather than go for a roll.

  “It might be just a case of I’ve felt magic like it before, but it’s not the exact magic. I don’t know. If I figure it out, I’ll tell you. Also, are you sure whoever’s doing this is not just doing that to mess with you? I mean, disabling your power is an awesome ploy so they can commit crimes without worrying about the PIB showing up. Stealing twenty million pounds sounds like a wonderful end game to me, and a great red herring.” I was just putting it out there because sometimes it was just about the money.

  Ma’am looked down her nose at me, gravity in her gaze. “True… but in my experience, nothing is ever that simple. We’ll keep our minds open, and we need to look at every angle. The stones we leave unturned today have the ability to become the mountain in our way tomorrow.” Wow, that was profound. And that’s why she was Ma’am. She stood. “Okay, Agent Blakesley. Let’s go.”

  Will stood and looked down at me. “I’ll see you later. Do not leave this building. I’ll text you later, but you’re coming home with us.”

  I smiled. “Of course. Have fun.” He gave me a “yeah right” look; then he, Liv, and Ma’am left. I stared at the pile of files on the desk, took a deep breath, and sighed. Looked like I had a mountain to climb myself. If only I had a pet squirrel to keep me company. Lamenting my lack of squirrel companionship, I grabbed the first file and got to work.

  A couple of hours later, Ma’am returned, Liv on her heels carrying a notebook. Tension flowed into the room with them. A few grey hairs had escaped Ma’am’s bun, and her harried expression told a tale of a woman under pressure. I imagined her days were stressful but add a lack of magic to speed things up, and the poker face was too hard to maintain. “Is everything all right?” I asked. “Would you like me to fetch you a cup of tea?”

  She pulled her chair out a tad too firmly, and it hit the wall behind it. Ma’am pressed her lips together and plonked down before pulling herself closer to the table. She looked at me. “That would be lovely. Thank you, dear.”

  Liv sat next to me, and I turned to her. “Do you want anything while I’m down there?”

  “Yes, thanks. Tea and scones. Is that okay?”

  “Of course it is. I’ll be back soon.” I hurried downstairs, eager to return so I could find out what had happened to cause Ma’am to lose it. Okay, so it’s not a normal person’s version of losing it, but she hardly ever got ruffled, and this was her being super ruffled.

  I finished ordering our food and found a spot at a vacant table to wait. They weren’t delivering to offices because their magic was on the fritz, and there weren’t enough staff to deli
ver by hand. The curse was affecting the most mundane things. Across the cafeteria, a forty-something-year-old male agent was tucking into a meal. He stood out because he had a fluorescent-pink mohawk. Someone must have accidentally used magic to do their hair this morning. I grinned. He probably hadn’t had time to fix it, and I doubted he dared use his magic. But who could blame him for forgetting? For all these witches, using magic would be second nature, just part of their day.

  “Hey, stranger.” Beren pulled out the chair next to me and sat.

  “Hey, yourself. What’s happening?” His smile fell. “That great, huh?”

  “Pretty much. Are you here grabbing food?”

  Hmm, he obviously didn’t want to talk about it, or likely couldn’t. “Waiting for my order, then taking it up to Ma’am and Liv. That meeting must’ve been a doozy.”

  He made a motion of zipping his lips. “I’m not saying anything. You’ll have to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”

  “Ooh, if she heard you called her a horse….” I laughed.

  He cocked his head to the side. “You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Scared, are we?”

  “I still can’t tell you.”

  “Damn. You cluey agent, you.”

  One of the cafeteria staff came to my table, a large tray filled with my order in his hands. “Here you go. If you could bring the tray back later, that would be great.”

  “Not a problem. Thanks.” I stood and looked at B. “Well, since you won’t spill the beans, I’m leaving.”

  “I knew you only wanted me for my information.” He pouted as if he were upset.

  “You know it.” I grinned. “Enjoy your lunch. Have you got much on this arvo?”

  “Loads. Can you tell Liv that I’ll be back to take her home at around six?”

  “Will do.” I picked the tray up. “Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Whatever had happened must be monumental. Normally Beren would give me at least a hint, unless it was something top secret. But he shut it down at record pace, and he didn’t look like budging at all. Had the money been taken? Maybe that’s what the emergency was. But why get so upset after the fact when they knew it was going to happen? And it would be like Ma’am said: they’d just get the police to deal with it for the time being. Surely things would get back to normal soon.