He counted the loose bills he had, pausing when he found a $20 mixed in with them. Gage frowned. He could’ve sworn he’d used his last twenty yesterday. He couldn’t have remembered wrong, could he? Or had Wilkie returned him money without telling him?
He paid for his groceries with the bill, dropping his coin change into the donation box at the register. Then he set off for home, wishing it were the end of the week—that was when the wages from his new job would get deposited into his account.
A couple days ago, despite Ulric’s protests, Gage had found a job at a bar downtown. He’d be there only for a few hours every night, but every bit of cash helped. And his shift began in half an hour. There wasn’t time for his hugs with Ulric.
Feeling guilty, Gage returned home to drop off the groceries. He found Ulric in front of the TV, looking miserable.
“Hey.” Gage planted a quick kiss on Ulric’s forehead, his guilt intensifying. “Had a good day?”
Ulric shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”
He had that odd perfume scent on him again. “Did you go to Highton?”
Ulric tensed. “How—”
Gage tipped his face up, kissing him full on the lips. “Sometime soon, you’ll have to stop going there, babe. It’s killing you.”
“I wish.” Ulric looked... upset. Bitter.
Gage set down the groceries, joining him on the couch. “I have to leave in five,” Gage told him, pulling him into a tight hug. “But I’ll do the hugs when I get home later.”
“I told you, you didn’t have to get a second job,” Ulric muttered.
“I’m not going to leech off you, Muffin. And I don’t want to be your kept alpha.” Gage ran his fingers through Ulric’s hair, stroking his back, touching him all over. “Mm. I missed you.”
Ulric sighed, looking doubtful.
“Ready to tell me what you’ve been doing out of town?” Gage asked.
Ulric shook his head. So Gage sat with him, holding his hand, just pretending that this was all he had on his schedule for the rest of the night. Five minutes flew by way too quickly.
“I wish you’d stay,” Ulric said.
“I’ll spend the rest of tonight with you in bed,” Gage promised. “That’s six hours of hugs.”
“But I wouldn’t be awake to enjoy it.”
Gage laughed and nuzzled him. “You might be just a bit greedy.” Ulric flushed. “But so am I,” Gage whispered in his ear.
He gave Ulric’s ass a squeeze, kissed him a last time, and then went to get ready for his next shift.
Hours later, when he got home smelling like booze and sweat, Ulric had fallen asleep. Gage grabbed a quick shower, dried off, and slipped under the covers naked, spooning Ulric from behind. Ulric felt perfect in his arms. Gage wanted to feel Ulric on every inch of his skin.
Ulric stirred. “Gage?” he mumbled.
“Here,” Gage whispered, kissing his cheek. “Go back to sleep.”
Ulric reached behind, splaying his hand on Gage’s bare thigh. Then, half-awake, he stroked Gage up and down, making a soft sound when he found Gage’s bare abs, and then his cock.
“Sleep,” Gage said.
Ulric shuffled around and buried his face against Gage’s chest, working Gage over until he’d gotten Gage pulsing-hard. Except his movements grew slower, his breathing deeper.
Ulric fell back asleep.
Figures. Gage sighed exasperatedly, getting himself off the rest of the way. Ulric had found another of Gage’s used shirts—Gage cleaned up with that, tossing on the floor so he’d remember to put it in the laundry hamper tomorrow.
He turned off the lights and fell asleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night, he woke to the sound of a muffled crash. It was brief, quiet. Gage drifted in and out of the fog between sleep and reality, unsure if he’d dreamed the sound, or if he’d really heard it.
Through his eyelids, he sensed a light somewhere in the room—not bright enough that it was painful. Just enough that he knew he wasn’t alone.
He opened his eyes to find himself in an unfamiliar bed—too big, but it smelled like honey oak. Ulric’s bed. Ulric wasn’t with him, though. And the ensuite bathroom door was ajar, light spilling out around it.
Ulric was probably taking a piss. Gage closed his eyes, waiting for his alpha to return.
But there came no sounds of pissing. Or the toilet flushing. “Babe?”
There was a quiet shuffling noise. Ulric didn’t answer. Was he in trouble?
Blearily, Gage crawled out of bed. He crossed the room, pushing the door open.
Ulric jumped and dropped something onto the bathroom counter, papery things fluttering around him. “G-Gage?”
Was that... money? And Gage’s wallet? “What’re you doing?”
Ulric swept the notes into a pile, shoving Gage’s wallet into his pocket. “Nothing.”
That was enough to wake Gage right up. “Ulric. That was mine, wasn’t it?”
Ulric froze, meeting Gage’s eyes in the mirror. “It’s...”
Gage stepped behind him; he reached into the pocket of Ulric’s sleep shorts. Ulric shoved the wallet further down into it. Gage caught his hand, lifting it out. At least his workouts came in useful for something.
Then he took the wallet out of Ulric’s grasp—it was Gage’s. Gage couldn’t help the betrayal coiling through his chest.
He opened the wallet, flipping through the bills in there. Instead of missing notes, there were now two twenties tucked in with the rest of his money. More fives and ones than Gage remembered, too.
Ulric’s neck flushed red. “I was just—trying to help.”
Humiliation prickled down Gage’s skin. “I don’t need an allowance, Ulric.”
Never mind that he’d spent that twenty earlier—that had been from Ulric, too, hadn’t it?
“I’ll take it back.” Ulric reached for the wallet; Gage placed it in his hand. He didn’t know how he was going to get by with the few dollars he had left, but damn he had his pride. And he wasn’t stooping so low as to receive handouts from Ulric.
“Don’t do that again,” Gage muttered.
Ulric thinned his lips. “Then how am I supposed to help you?”
“Don’t.”
Ulric scowled, pulling out some notes from Gage’s wallet. He left an extra five in there; Gage took it out and added it to Ulric’s pile of cash.
Yeah, Ulric was loaded and Gage wasn’t, and maybe if they were in an actual relationship, maybe they would pool their finances together. But right now, it just felt like a donation. Besides, Gage’s wages were going to Debbie’s hospital bills. He couldn’t possibly ask Ulric to help with those.
Ulric set Gage’s much-thinner wallet down on the counter. Then he eased out of the bathroom, not touching Gage at all.
When Gage returned to the bed, he found Ulric curled up on his side, facing away. “Are you mad at me?” Gage asked.
“No.” Ulric fidgeted.
Gage wasn’t sure what to think of all this. Ulric sneaking around at night to give him handouts, Ulric keeping secrets from him. It wasn’t right. He was starting to care too much for Ulric, and it scared him, knowing that he was now vulnerable to this man.
He couldn’t help remembering Ramsey, the best friend he’d trusted. And who’d ended up betraying him in front of the entire school. He didn’t think Ulric would do the same, but tonight... it had changed something between them.
Gage hoped this wouldn’t shatter like all his other relationships had.
25
The Wrong Gamble
Ulric breathed out his relief when his mom disappeared into the airport, her suitcase in tow. She was finally taking a flight back to New York. And he would finally stop being a disappointment.
At least, he would finally stop hearing about being a disappointment.
He knew he’d fucked up the other night with Gage. He didn’t regret trying to give Gage money—what he’d regretted was tripping over some shirt on the floor, and waki
ng Gage up.
Either way, there was a distinct rift between them now: Gage didn’t hold him for so long these days, and Ulric didn’t want to look at Gage for longer than he had to.
Maybe his mom had been right. Maybe Gage would now see how ugly Ulric was, and he’d leave. His chest squeezed tight.
Ulric set off, making the hour-long drive back to Meadowfall. When he got back to the house, only Wilkie was there. And Wilkie was pacing in the kitchen, biting his thumbnail.
“What’s wrong?” Ulric asked.
Wilkie looked at his phone before shrugging. “Nothing.”
“More bills?”
Wilkie cringed. “We’ll be fine.”
“Because Gage’s working two jobs now?” Ulric couldn’t help the resentment seeping into his voice; Wilkie looked up.
“Things aren’t okay with you guys, are they?” Wilkie asked.
Ulric pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’re just friends. How much is the bill this time?”
Wilkie studied Ulric for a long while. “You don’t have to help.”
“I don’t, and I hardly see Gage around anymore.” Was Gage’s pride more important than spending time with Ulric? Clearly he wanted to work more than he wanted Ulric’s help.
Ulric stalked up the stairs to his study, grabbing his checkbook. He tore out a check, went back to the kitchen, and asked, “How much is the bill?”
Wilkie stared. “You can’t be serious. It’s a ton of money, Ulric.”
“I didn’t ask for an opinion. How much?” Ulric must’ve growled that; Wilkie stiffened, looking wary. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Just show me the bill amount, please.”
Wilkie clutched his phone to himself. “It’s four-figures. You can’t possibly...”
Ulric made the check out for ten grand. Then he signed it and shoved it at Wilkie. “Take this to your mom. Cash it, pay the bills. Whatever.”
Wilkie glanced at the check and did a double-take. “This is too much.”
“You’ll have bills coming next month too, right? And the month after that? Just take it.” Ulric shoved his pen back into the pen jar, stalking out of the kitchen. What was the point of having money if it only made his heart hurt?
Wilkie hurried after him. “Don’t you need this money?” he asked, incredulous.
“No.” When Wilkie didn’t move from the living room, Ulric turned. “Aren’t you going to cash it?”
Wilkie hesitated. “I don’t know if my mom and dad will accept it, honestly. It’s way too much.”
Ulric sighed. Was Gage’s entire family like this? “Just make sure your sister gets better. That’s all I ask.”
Wilkie’s face pinched; he looked tearfully at the check. “I’ve never held this much money in my life.”
Ulric cracked a smile. He went over and ruffled Wilkie’s hair. “Get going. Before your brother comes home and throws a fit.”
Because that would happen. The moment Ulric handed the check over, he’d known that Gage would find out. And that Gage would be pissed. His stomach turned.
How long did he still have left with Gage?
He returned to his computer, trying to focus on his work. The whole time, his stomach kept tying itself into knots. In the end, he dug out a bottle of vodka from the kitchen cabinet and poured himself a few shots, just to get his nerves to calm the fuck down.
Ulric was buzzed, typing up a report for some new drugs being used in a clinical trial, when the front door slammed shut.
He wasn’t expecting it. But his instincts reared up, a growling animal under his skin that thirsted for a fight. To solve things, to get him out of this state of being nervous all the time.
He turned his office chair around, his heart pounding in his ears, waiting as the stairs creaked and Gage’s footfalls sounded through the hallway.
Then Gage stopped in the office doorway, his gaze blazing. A surge of recklessness rushed through Ulric’s veins. “Something wrong?” Ulric asked.
“Yeah.” Gage narrowed his eyes. “I told you not to help me. Why the fuck can’t you listen?”
“Why the fuck can’t you listen?” Ulric snapped, rising to his feet. He wanted a fight. This time, it wasn’t with sex in mind. “I told you I can help—”
“I don’t need your help.” Gage stalked in; Ulric saw the anger on his face. And he had the ominous feeling that this was the beginning of the end. “You keep going behind my back—”
“Because you keep refusing everything,” Ulric hissed. Because you keep rejecting me. When all I want is for you to spend time here instead of elsewhere.
“Yeah?” Gage’s eyes flashed. “Did it occur to you that you’re fucking betraying me every time you do shit without my permission?”
Maybe. But it wasn’t like Ulric was trying to buy Gage’s affections. He just wanted to get the pressure off this man so he could have some intimacy. Which Gage had been terribly stingy with lately.
“Why should I care when you’ve gone and gotten another job, anyway?” Ulric snapped. “I hardly see you anymore. It’s not like you’re around—”
“We’re just friends,” Gage retorted. “Or have you forgotten that, Ulric? I don’t owe you anything.”
That hurt like a punch to his gut. Was that all he was to Gage? Ulric tried to breathe. He couldn’t help remembering his mother’s words, that Gage would never love him for who he was. Gage had just been intimate with him because it was convenient. And Gage would leave, sooner or later. He’d find someone else prettier, better.
Ulric stalked up to him, shoving his front against Gage’s, trying to get the upper hand. Gage shoved back, his eyes narrowed, his mouth a thin line.
There wasn’t any fondness in his eyes now. Just anger.
Just like that, Ulric realized that the last few weeks had been a lie. They’d been intimate, but Gage’s promises—those had been empty. Gage had used Ulric just like he’d used all his other boyfriends, and maybe they’d lasted longer with him because they didn’t look like Ulric did.
Ulric was just a warm body that Gage had grown tired of. He felt so awfully heavy and round and ugly.
“You know what? Just leave,” Ulric said, the sick feeling in his stomach intensifying. If Gage really cared, he would come back.
Gage narrowed his eyes, turning away. “Yeah, maybe I should.”
He said it like he didn’t care anymore what happened to Ulric. Ulric watched with slow-growing dread as Gage stalked toward the door, ready to cast Ulric aside like he did with everyone else.
Ulric almost wanted to go up to him, he almost wanted to punch Gage and ask what the hell they’d been doing all these weeks.
Except it didn’t matter anymore, did it? No one in Ulric’s life ever stuck around. Mick had told Ulric he should lose some weight. Ulric’s mom never hugged him once this trip.
What was the point of trying so hard, when everyone ended up leaving him anyway?
Gage’s footsteps drifted down the hallway. Then the front door shut, and his car engine rumbled. He drove off.
Ulric sank into his chair, his chest so tight that he couldn’t breathe.
At least with Mick, Ulric had had an inkling that things weren’t going so well. Mick had never given him any promises. And with Mom, Ulric had grown used to her abandonment over the years.
Gage had promised to be his best friend. He’d held Ulric and told Ulric he was beautiful. He’d promised acceptance.
And now he was gone because Ulric had pushed too hard. There was only the hollowness left in the house, where he’d once been.
Ulric hurt all over. It wasn’t until much later, when he scrubbed the wet tracks off his face, that he realized his heart had broken.
26
Gage Gets Grilled
The atmosphere at the dinner table was a lot more solemn than Gage expected it to be. He helped his mom bring the dishes over, frowning. “What’s with all the long faces?”
Wilkie looked accusingly at him. “You don’t know?”
> How should Gage know? Had something happened that his family hadn’t told him about? He glanced at Debbie.
But Debbie only wrinkled her forehead—she would’ve raised her eyebrows if she had any hair left. “We were going to invite Ulric over,” she said. “You know, get to know him and everything.”
Gage’s stomach squeezed. So this had to be about Ulric, huh? “You can invite him over when I’m not around. I’m leaving for my shift soon, anyway.”
Bad enough that they’d accepted Ulric’s money without asking Gage. Bad enough that they all liked him without even meeting him. It was a week after the breakup, the first meal Gage was having with his family, and they all had to shove Ulric’s donation in his face.
Mom clucked. “That’s not how you’re supposed to treat him, Gage.”
Gage’s anger kindled in his chest. “He’s just a friend.”
And now everyone at the table stared at him, mixed looks of disapproval and disbelief.
“You don’t give a ‘friend’ your scent marking, son.” Dad shook his head. “And you most certainly don’t break that promise when you’ve given it to them.”
How much had Wilkie told the rest of their family?
“That’s not the same as a bonding mark,” Gage muttered. Scent markings were... one step below a permanent bite mark. “Scents aren’t promises.”
“It’s a marking you give someone you’re serious about,” Dad said.
Like Gage didn’t know that. His face burned. “I can give a friend-with-benefits scent markings, too.”
“Ew,” Wilkie said—that traitor. “I didn’t need to know that.”
Dad gave Gage a severe look. “Is that what he really is to you?”
No, Ulric wasn’t. Gage swallowed, his chest tight. He didn’t want to think about it. They weren’t seeing each other anymore. He couldn’t even say they’d broken up, because they were never together in the first place. “He’s an alpha.”
“That’s no reason to treat him as anything less than a bondmate,” Mom said.
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