That hurt. Being bondmates was something that Ulric didn’t want. Looking back, maybe that had been a blessing in disguise. “He lied to me,” Gage growled. “He fucking did things behind my back. I don’t want him as my boyfriend, much less, my bondmate.”
All of Ulric’s secrets and lies—the middle-of-the-night sneaking around, him hiding his whereabouts, him paying Gage’s bills even though Gage had told him not to help... All those things left a bad taste in Gage’s mouth. He didn’t need to be betrayed again. He didn’t need someone else he couldn’t trust.
Wilkie’s mouth thinned. “Are you still upset over him going to Highton?”
“So what if I am?” Gage retorted.
And Wilkie straightened, the angriest Gage had ever seen him. “Ulric was showing his mom around the city,” Wilkie said. “And she treated him worse than a bag of chickenshit. That’s why he didn’t want to tell you what he was doing. That’s why he kept going back every day, even though it fucked with him. You would’ve flipped out.”
Gage stopped breathing. “What?”
Mom frowned. “That poor dear.”
Wilkie’s eyes flashed. “She told him that no one would want him because he’s fat. She said people only cared about his money. He didn’t give us that check thinking you were going to fall for him, Gage. He knew you were going to be pissed. He just wanted to help. Did you know? He kissed his mom goodnight and she just walked away like he was dirt under her shoe.”
Gage stared, trying to process all of that. He’d known about Ulric’s mom. But he didn’t know she was still treating him this badly, he didn’t know all this had just happened in the last month. And Ulric had just taken that crap from her, he hadn’t even told Gage about it.
Why the hell had Ulric let her do that to him?
Despite his anger at Ulric, Gage’s protective instincts rose up, the side of him that wanted to return to Ulric and make sure he was okay. But Ulric would be okay. He hardly ever went anywhere outside his home.
Gage shoveled food into his mouth, trying not to think about that alpha. He had his reasons for leaving. And Ulric should’ve told Gage about his mom. So Gage could... what, console him?
“I told you,” Wilkie said, looking pointedly at Gage. “He loves y—”
“Don’t.” Gage swallowed the rest of his dinner, his heart pounding.
He couldn’t help remembering the times Ulric had hidden away his body, pulling his shirts down over his belly. He couldn’t help remembering the brittle, jaded looks Ulric had given him, whenever he’d talked about his weight. And yet Ulric had returned to the exercise room, over and over, he’d looked so hopeful when he’d stepped on the weighing scale. Those times, he would peek at Gage, quick and surreptitious, as though... he wanted Gage to accept him.
Gage’s heart squeezed. No. I shouldn’t.
He rinsed his plate at the sink, hugged his family, and then set off for work. He wasn’t going to think about Ulric again. He’d had enough of that alpha.
Except his bed was so empty now, and he didn’t want anyone else filling it. He’d been wishing for another whiff of that honey oak scent. He wanted to see Ulric’s flustered, adorable smile, he wanted to feel Ulric’s warm, soft body against his own.
“Stop it,” Gage told himself, starting up his car.
His heart latched onto the trace of honey oak in his memory, and refused to let go.
27
Trouble Befalls Ulric
Ulric reached into the bag of treats, pulling out a sugar donut. It wasn’t his first, or even his second. Hell, it was probably his tenth this week, not counting the cakes and cookies he’d been stuffing his face with.
Ever since Gage had left, Ulric hadn’t seen the point in losing weight anymore. He’d gone to the nearest store and bought some ice cream. Then he’d visited Ben’s Buns toward closing, and bought Ben out of all his remaining donuts and buns. Every single day.
At least he’d done someone a good deed.
Ulric watched as cars rumbled along the street, absently polishing off his donut. Then he reached for the next thing—a butt-shaped pizza bun dotted with pepperoni slices, covered in melted cheese. He ate that, too.
He stayed on the roadside bench as the traffic ebbed and flowed, pedestrians drifting past him, absorbed in their own lives. No one noticed him; that was fine. He’d spent years being forgotten. It wasn’t so difficult to return to that.
What he didn’t want to return to, though, was home. It was too empty in that house right now, too quiet. Wilkie came and went, and he was okay to be around. But what grated on Ulric’s nerves was his too-large bed, the kitchen that held all his memories of Gage, the living room couch where they’d snuggled together and watched movies.
He couldn’t help remembering the times Gage had teased him, the times Gage had hugged him and held his hand. Some nights, he pretended that Gage was in bed with him, and that Gage desired every inch of his body.
Gods, he was pathetic. Maybe he should just move away and get a fresh start. All over again.
Ulric crammed another bun into his mouth, wishing the ache in his chest would fade. Night had fallen; the streetlamps had come on. Most of the shops on this street had closed. Ulric still wasn’t keen on going home, though. Maybe when he’d finished all his buns.
He was in the middle of a fruit tart when a family strolled down the sidewalk—Ulric recognized that scarred face. It was Gage’s alpha cousin, Jesse. And Jesse no longer had that swollen belly.
Instead, he had a support band wrapped around his flat abdomen. His husband, Dom, wore a child harness with two infants—Ulric had heard they were both boys—and a toddler bounced along the sidewalk between them, looking delighted.
Ulric tried to glance away before they saw him. Nothing like being this out-of-shape in front of two firefighters. Except Jesse caught his eye and waved. “Hey! You’re Gage’s friend, aren’t you?”
Ulric’s heart sank. He pasted on a smile, hurriedly wiping his hands on his pants. “Yeah. Congrats on the birth.”
“Thanks.” Jesse shook his hand. “How are things with you and Gage?”
Ulric tried not to wince. That still hurt. And it was so embarrassing. “We, uh. I think we’re still friends.”
Concern darted through Jesse’s expression. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’m fine.” Ulric shrugged. It wasn’t like he could fix any of this. He didn’t need anyone else knowing he couldn’t keep an alpha, either—especially not two other alphas who were happily married. “Things will get better.”
“Ooh! Can I have one?” Jesse’s son asked, peering curiously into Ulric’s bag of treats.
Happy that he wasn’t the only one who loved those buns, he nudged the bag toward the boy. “Sure. Pick however many you’d like.”
“Just one,” Jesse told his son. “We shouldn’t be greedy, Owen.”
Even though Ulric knew that wasn’t directed at himself, he felt the weight of every single treat he’d eaten, he felt all the pounds he’d gained over the last week. He had shoved the scale under the bathroom counter, not wanting to break it with how he was now.
Owen fished out a cheesy bun from the bag, looking delighted. Jesse nudged him. “What do we say when we get a present, hon?”
Owen beamed at Ulric. “Thank you!”
Ulric cracked a smile. The boy was kind of cute. And he didn’t think badly of Ulric for his weight. If Ulric ever had a child, would they be like that too...?
Jesse followed Ulric’s gaze. “Gage was asking about surgical implants. If you’re still interested in it...” He pulled out a card from his wallet, handing it to Ulric. “Rutherford’s the doctor who pioneered the technology, but he’s based on the east coast. If you’d like to chat with someone closer to home, there’s Nate, who’s a firefighter in Meadowfall. He has some experience with the process.”
Ulric looked at the names Jesse had scribbled on the card. “I think my neighbor Nate is a firefighter. Is he the same guy?”
Ulric tucked the card into his pocket, his heart sore. What he would do with all this information? He didn’t have anyone who wanted to raise a family with him. “Thanks.”
“Things will get better,” Jesse said, patting Ulric’s shoulder. “I’ll have a chat with Gage.”
At that, Ulric’s stomach tightened. “No, you don’t have to.”
Jesse looked doubtful. Had life always been easy for him and Dom? Ulric didn’t know.
“I’m glad things are going well for you,” Ulric blurted. At least Jesse had an alpha who loved him. And a family, too.
“Thanks. I’ll check back on you sometime,” Jesse said, still concerned.
Ulric shook his head. “It’s okay, really. I’m thinking of leaving Meadowfall.”
“Huh. Does Gage know?”
Ulric thought about Gage finding out, and being nonchalant about it. That hurt. “I don’t think he cares.”
Jesse frowned. “I see. Take care, okay?”
“Will do.” Ulric watched as Jesse and his family strolled down the street, Dom wrapping his arm around Jesse’s waist, Jesse ruffling Owen’s hair. They all looked so happy together. Ulric wished he could have something like that.
Should he have withheld the money? Should he have just... let Gage struggle? That wasn’t the right way to treat someone he loved.
He loved Gage—he knew that now. And that helped no one at all.
Ulric looked down at his bag of treats, feeling lonelier than before. Would having a uterus make him more attractive to anyone? Would it have changed Gage’s mind? He touched his belly, his chest too tight.
He thought about all the what-ifs, he wondered if Gage was happier now that he’d left. He wondered if other people had already begun hitting on Gage at the gym. Or if Gage was already going on dates, Ulric long-forgotten.
Ulric huddled into himself on the bench, his eyes burning. Forget Gage, he told himself.
He lost track of time, all the way until the passing cars grew few and far between. Then footsteps sounded behind him, too quiet and purposeful to have come from a pedestrian.
A knife gleamed suddenly next to his throat. Someone shoved a large gloved hand over his mouth. “Hand over your wallet.”
Ulric sighed. “Did you have to do this right now?”
“What?” The robber lifted his hand off Ulric’s mouth.
Ulric shoved it away and crammed his bag of buns against the robber’s knife, springing to his feet. He didn’t have the advantage of speed, but he had some strength.
Except another person stepped out of the nearby shadows—also with a sharp knife. That was bad. Ulric froze, his heart thudding. He could possibly handle one assailant, but not two. There weren’t any witnesses; it was useless for him to shout. No time to call the police.
He backed away slowly, one step at a time. But one of the robbers lunged, knife outstretched. “Hand over your damn wallet!”
Ulric ducked sideways but he wasn’t fast enough. The knife stabbed into his arm. Pain lanced through his body. Then the other robber leaped, grabbing Ulric’s neck from behind.
“Grab his wallet,” the other robber muttered.
Ulric struggled. He knew he should let this go, he knew the wallet wasn’t worth his life. But his instincts surged beneath his skin, eager for a fight. He couldn’t submit.
He twisted around and slammed his elbow into his captor, shoving the knife away. Then he smashed the back of his head into the man’s face, breaking his nose with a crunch.
The robber swore. His accomplice heaved Ulric toward the shadows of an alley, shoving his hand into Ulric’s pocket. Ulric spun around and punched him hard in the face.
But a weight crashed into him from the side, ramming him into the rough brick wall. His breath punched out of his throat; two knives pushed up against his neck, nicking his skin. Blood trickled warm and ticklish down his throat.
“Hand it over, and we’ll let you live,” the robber said.
“Fuck off,” Ulric snarled.
He wanted to lunge forward and punch them, he wanted to break free. But the sharp tip of a blade dug under his chin, slicing into his flesh.
If he moved, he ran the risk of them slicing his throat open.
What were the chances of them taking his wallet, and stabbing him anyway? What were the chances of him leaving this place alive? Ulric did the calculations in his head. They weren’t so great.
In the moments when the robbers snatched the wallet out of his hands, their knives ruthless against his neck, Ulric’s mind drifted. He thought about Gage, he wondered what Gage would think, if he were here. He wondered if Gage would help him. If Gage would be concerned.
He wondered if he could’ve fixed their relationship, if he’d just straight-up told Gage that he wanted to be boyfriends. That he wanted Gage’s marking permanently on him.
He wondered if Gage would’ve acted differently, if Ulric had said I love you.
He wondered about a life where he believed Gage, where he thought he could be beautiful.
He wondered about a future where he and Gage had a family together.
And that broke Ulric.
He roared and shoved at the robbers, not caring that their knives dug into his skin, slicing him open. He needed to get free. To see Gage again. Just to find out if there was a way he could salvage things.
Maybe he wanted to steal a kiss. Just a last one.
Then a knife flashed, and metal stabbed into his side, a searing jab of fire that winded him. And the robbers shoved him onto the grungy alley floor, kicking at his face, his stomach, every blow thudding painfully through his body.
“Maybe we should kill you,” one of the men growled. “Remove the evidence.”
Ulric tried to stand. They punched him so hard, he almost threw up. He staggered, his vision hazy.
Maybe... he might not make it out alive, after all.
28
Gage Makes Amends
The text came in just as Gage was clocking off work. You broke up with your friend? Jesse asked. He told me he’s moving away.
Gage stared at those words, growing still. Ulric was leaving Meadowfall?
Why did that sound so wrong?
He shoved the phone into his pocket, pulling on a clean shirt. They’d broken up. He shouldn’t care anymore where Ulric was. But he couldn’t help remembering Ulric again, Ulric when he was vulnerable, cramming cake into his mouth. Ulric when he sought comfort, burying his face against Gage’s shoulder.
You need to protect him, his instincts whispered.
Ulric didn’t need protection. He was an alpha. Frustrated with himself, Gage grabbed his things from the locker, heading out to his car. It was dark, the parking lot lit up by orange streetlamps. His phone buzzed again.
Despite his resolve not to look, Gage opened up Jesse’s next message. He was sitting out by Ben’s Buns when we passed him earlier. He looked pretty upset.
Gage’s heart squeezed. He didn’t want to feel bad for Ulric, but... he didn’t like the thought of Ulric sitting alone, unhappy. Ulric had spent a lot of his life being miserable. He didn’t need more of that.
Gage got into his car, thinking maybe he’d drive by the bakery. Just to make sure that Ulric had gone home. There had been reports of robberies around here lately—Ulric knew that, right?
Probably not. He didn’t follow the news so closely.
Gage held his breath, pulling his car out onto the road. The bakery was a couple streets away—he’d just pass by and...
There was a bag of stuff that had rolled off the sidewalk, onto the asphalt. In front of a bench. Gage would’ve thought it was trash, except he recognized the bakery logo, and the shapes of some uneaten buns spilling out of the bag.
That wasn’t right.
His chest tight, he turned down that street, did a U-turn, and pulled up behind the abandoned bag of buns. A distinct honey oak scent lingered around them.
Then there came the sounds of some muffled swearing, someone groaning.
Where was Ulric?
His heart pounding, Gage followed the sounds to an alley, where two figures were kicking at someone on the ground—they were all alphas, from their broad shoulders. Except the one on the ground was heavier, all curled-up like he was hurting, and—Gage recognized him. Only too well.
They were beating up his alpha.
Gage’s stomach clenched. Then rage exploded in his gut, blazing and ferocious. He roared, charging them down, punching the closest one in the face. The other guy had blood dripping from his nose and a knife in his hand. Before he could slash at Gage, Gage grabbed his wrist, yanking his knife away. Then he punched the man in the gut, he slammed him against the wall, cracking his skull against the brick.
He wasn’t about to stop, but the man’s accomplice swung another knife at him. Gage barely dodged; the knife whistled inches away from his face. And Gage grabbed him, he punched that guy hard, vicious strikes that would hurt for days to come.
He would’ve beaten the crap out of them both, except Ulric groaned. And he was far more important than the bastards who had attacked him.
Gage shoved them toward the street. “Get out of here,” he snarled, placing himself between them and Ulric. “Or I’ll fucking kill you.”
They bristled, sizing him up. But they must’ve realized he was serious, because they ran, hurling something at him.
It hit him in the chest—a wallet? They’d stabbed Ulric over that?
Gage took the wallet and hurried back. Ulric had wrapped one arm over his head, the other pressed against his side. Ulric flinched when Gage touched him; Gage swallowed his anger, gathering Ulric into his arms. “Hey. Where’re you hurt?”
Ulric groaned. “Everywhere.”
Then he looked up and met Gage’s eyes. Ulric tensed, sucking in a sharp breath.
There were scuff marks all over him. He looked like he’d put on weight. Ulric moved his hand back over a dark spot on his side, pressing down on it—and Gage realized that the dark patch on his shirt was blood. It wasn’t just a small stain, either. There was a lot of it. It was still leaking out.
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