by Ella Miles
13
Kai
I’ve lost the right to see how Zeke is, so I don’t enter the room when the doctor talks to Langston about Zeke’s condition. Langston may respect me, but he hasn’t forgiven me. I might have a chance at forgiveness now that Zeke has survived, but that won’t come for a long time.
The doctor tells Langston that if Zeke survives the night, he will have an excellent chance at living.
I listen as Langston goes to his friend and cries gently at the possibility that his friend could die.
The doctors and nurses that treated Zeke file out of the room. The lead doctor stops when he sees me. “I’ll make sure a nurse is always awake monitoring Zeke through the worse of it. I’ll send most of my team home, but I’d like to stay in case something happens I can take him back into surgery quickly. Is there a place I can freshen up and get some rest?”
He talks to me like I own this house—like I could make such a decision. I will never make a decision again after what happened to Zeke.
The doctor sees the pain in my eyes. “I don’t make assurances I can’t keep. But Zeke is a fighter. I’ve stopped the bleeding and gave him a blood transfusion. I mended the broken bones. He has a real shot at surviving.”
I shake my head. “It’s not that…”
He sighs. “I never ask questions or get involved in my high profile client’s lives. But I can tell you, this isn’t your fault.”
“It is,” I say sternly. I will feel this pain for the rest of my life because I almost caused him to die. “Westcott will see you to a room,” I say, hoping the man is behind me as usual.
“Follow me this way, Dr. Patten,” Westcott says.
I sit on the floor outside of Zeke’s room, knowing I can’t enter, but also that I can’t leave. I need to know Zeke is okay. I need to apologize to him, but I won’t as long as Langston is there.
I listen to Langston talk to Zeke even though he’s still out. “I’m so sorry. It should have been me. I wish I could trade places with you.” He really does love him like a brother.
I smile. I wish someone loved me like that. But I don’t have anyone. My father lied to me my whole life. I have no siblings. Mason likes me, but we didn’t have this kind of connection. Not one where we’d give our lives to save the other.
I have no one.
I hug my knees, feeling alone. I hate being alone.
“Miss Miller, you should get some sleep. Mr. Black wouldn’t like to know you aren’t taking care of yourself,” Westcott says.
“Mr. Rinaldi wants me dead for what I did. I don’t think he cares if I sleep or not,” I say, never letting Westcott forget Enzo hasn’t earned the Black title yet.
Westcott sighs. “Mr. Rinaldi is a complicated man. I think you should sleep.”
“I can’t.” The tears fall as I look at the closed door that leads to Zeke. “I won’t be able to sleep until Zeke is up and walking on his own.”
“That could take weeks.”
“Then, that’s how long I’ll wait.”
Westcott must realize arguing with me right now will lead nowhere. So he leaves me to sit quietly outside Zeke’s door, alone.
Hours pass, and eventually, Langston stops talking.
A new nurse arrives, and I stand, peaking my head inside as the nurses change shifts. I see Langston passed out in the chair next to Zeke’s bed.
I enter cautiously, like Langston might wake and drive me away.
He doesn’t. He snores loudly, utterly exhausted as he sleeps in the oversized chair.
The room is set up like a hospital room in one half; the other half a makeshift surgery room.
“Do you know if there are any extra pillows or blankets in here?” I ask the nurse.
She smiles and walks to the closet retrieving one of both for me.
“Thanks,” I say.
She studies the machines around where Zeke lays, while I cover Langston with the blanket and slip the pillow behind his head so his neck won’t be sore when he wakes.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” the nurse says.
“No, you don’t need to do that.”
“Don’t worry.” She holds up her computer. “All the machines are hooked up so I can monitor him from my laptop. And if you need anything, just press the button over his bed and it will alert me.”
I nod as she leaves.
I pull a chair up next to Zeke’s bed and study him. He looks so lifeless it’s hard to believe he is truly alive. Except for the rise and fall of his chest, he looks like a corpse. His face is white, his body still, and tubes jet into his broken arms and legs. Bandages cover what I can see of his head and arms, and I can only imagine what his chest and legs look like beneath the covers.
I reach out and touch his hand, shocked at the initial pain of the touch, but I push through it to comfort him. He doesn’t stir. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I say as tears fall.
“I never meant for anyone to get hurt. I was just trying to hurt Enzo for selling me. You were never supposed to get hurt—I’m sorry.”
Zeke doesn’t react to my words. He just lays lifeless.
And I don’t want him to forgive me for what I did anyway. So I just hold his hand hoping he knows how sorry I am.
Zeke’s body starts writhing beneath the blankets.
“Zeke,” I say hesitantly, seeing him stir.
“Zeke, it’s okay. No one can hurt you.”
His eyes fly open as his body jolts. And then I realize what’s happening—pain.
He must be in incredible pain.
“Squeeze my hand as hard as you need.” I reach up and press the button for the nurse. “The nurse will bring you more pain medication.”
Langston wakes up from the noise. When he sees me, he stills, “What are you doing? What did you do to him?”
“He’s waking up. I called the nurse. I’m just trying to keep him calm until he gets more pain medication.”
Zeke moans, and Langston forgets about me. He grabs his friend’s hand. “It’s okay. I’m here. You’re going to be fine.”
The nurse rushes in.
“He woke up, and he’s in a lot of pain,” I say.
“I’ll get him more pain medication,” she says, racing toward the cart with the meds.
“No,” Zeke says.
We all turn to him as he says his first words. Both happy and confused at his choice of words. “I don’t want any medication. I don’t want to be knocked out again.”
“You’re safe. No one can hurt you. Enzo went to get your revenge. Take the drugs, man,” Langston says.
Zeke shakes his head, and the nurse stops.
Zeke moans again, biting his lip to keep the curses in as another wave of torment hits him.
“Give him the fucking drugs!” Langston screams at the nurse.
“I can’t go against the patient’s wishes.”
“Dammit, Zeke, if you don’t let the nurse give you the drugs I’ll do it myself,” Langston says.
This is getting us nowhere, so I speak up. “We won’t leave you, Zeke. Not for a second. One of us will hold your hand even if the drugs knock you out again. But you need the drugs to heal. Your body is in too much pain; you could go into shock and die from the pain—that’s not fair to Enzo or Langston. They both love you, and you need to survive for them. Let the nurse do her job. We promise as soon as it’s safe, we will reduce the medication so you can stay awake.”
Zeke watches my mouth studying it closely like my mouth holds the key to his decision.
Finally, Zeke nods at the nurse.
“Give him the drugs,” Langston says as Zeke’s grip on both of our hands tighten as his face scrunches in agony.
The nurse gives him drugs through his IV, and within moments Zeke is calm and quiet again. His eyes slowly flutter closed until he’s out again.
Langston looks to me and gives me a nod instead of a thank you. But I didn’t do it for him. I did it because Zeke needed it.
Langston’
s phone buzzes and he looks at it and curses.
“I have to go,” he says as he stares at his buddy.
“Go, I’ll stay. I promise I won’t stop holding his hand or sleep until you return.”
“Fuck,” Langston says pacing back and forth.
“Go,” I say again, holding Zeke’s hand tighter. Langston studies my grip on his hand. He knows it causes me pain, but this is my penance. I’ll hold his hand all night to comfort him no matter how painful it is for me.
Langston disappears without another word. I don’t know what drew him away, but I know it must be serious. Langston wouldn’t leave otherwise.
Enzo?
Could Enzo be hurt? It’s the only thing I can think of that would cause Langston to leave.
My eyes water again thinking of Enzo hurt like Zeke. I can’t imagine it. He’s too strong to be injured. Too much of a king to lay lifeless on the ground with blood seeping from his body. But he’s human. It could happen.
And I shouldn’t care. I should dance on Enzo’s grave the second he dies.
But I wouldn’t.
I don’t understand why, but I care about Enzo. I twirl the ring on my finger.
Don’t you dare be hurt Enzo. Don’t make me a fake widower.
I continue to hold Zeke’s hand through the night and next day. The doctor returns to check on him and smiles when he sees me.
“You love him?” he asks.
I shake my head as I stare at Zeke. “Not like that.” I’m not capable of love. And I’m afraid the only man I could possibly even love is the man who also sold me. How fucked up is that? He’s the only man I can touch without feeling pain. He’s the only one capable of stealing my heart.
“How is he doing?” I ask.
“Good. His vitals are strong. He’s a fighter. I’ll have the nurse lower his meds so he can wake up soon. I can’t say with certainty, but I can say confidently he will live.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
The doctor leaves, and the nurse gives him a new medication to help him start waking up.
Zeke’s eyes open and this time the pain has softened.
“Thank you,” he says.
“No, don’t thank me. I’m the reason you are in this mess. I’m so sorry for letting you get hurt. But you don’t need to talk—just rest. Langston and Enzo will be back as soon as they can. They are ensuring you get revenge.”
The nurse comes over, helps him drink, and makes sure he’s comfortable before leaving us by ourselves.
He stares at my hand. “Have you been holding my hand all night?”
“Yes, as I promised earlier.”
He studies me closely. “Even though it brings you great pain to touch me?”
“Yes, I deserve the pain. And I wanted to comfort you.”
He grips my hand tighter to see how badly it affects me and a tear rolls down. He softens his grip immediately but doesn’t let go.
“Thank you,” he says again.
This time I don’t argue.
“I’m so sorry, Zeke. I will never let it happen again. Enzo will make all the decisions when it comes to Surrender and the men. And I will do whatever I can to make it up to you.”
Zeke shakes his head. “It’s not your fault.”
“It is.”
“No, it’s not.”
I frown.
“I’m glad Enzo wasn’t there. More than likely I wouldn’t be lying in this bed if he were, he’s strong, fearless, and smarter than any of our enemies, but I don’t mind taking a bullet or two for Enzo. God knows, he’s taken too many bullets for me.”
“But he wouldn’t have had to, if he had gone. If I had let him go, all of the men would be alive and well. You wouldn’t be here. And Enzo wouldn’t be hurt either. He would have protected you.”
“Probably, but it still isn’t your fault.”
“Then whose fault is it?”
“Enzo’s.”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Yes, if anyone is to blame it’s him. But I don’t blame him. This isn’t his fault. He was just protecting those he cares about.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The man who hurt you…”
“Jarod.”
“Yes, Jarod. Do you know what happened to him?”
I shrug. “I assume he still sails on his yacht, taking on new women as slaves in every port and fucking them until he kills them.”
“No, he doesn’t.”
I freeze; my body, heart, and soul stop.
“Enzo hunted Jarod down. We snuck onto his yacht. And Enzo tortured and then killed him for what he did to you.”
I gasp. Why? Why would he do that? He sold me to him. He wanted me ruined, hurt, broken.
Zeke reads my eyes. “Enzo is loyal to the ones who are loyal to him. He protects those he views as innocent. And he gets revenge for those he loves.”
“He doesn’t love me.”
“No, maybe not. But he does care about you.”
Enzo cares about me. He got revenge for me. He protected me.
“I may not understand the relationship you two have. I don’t understand why he would sell you only to keep you safe here, but don’t ever forget he cares about you and will always care about you. That’s why he stayed instead of coming to protect us. He won’t hurt you.”
“Don’t make promises I have no intentions of keeping,” Enzo says from behind me.
My heart sputters—happy Enzo is alive and afraid of what he will do. Enzo may have cared before, but I betrayed him by not letting him save his friend. He won’t forgive me for that. I know because no matter what his intentions were when he sold me, I can’t forgive him.
You can only truly forgive those you love, and we will never love each other.
14
Enzo
She’s holding his fucking hand.
Like that is going to absolve her of her sins.
Her eyes smile at me when she first spots me, as if I’m her favorite person and she’s happy to see me. But as soon as she sees the pain etched, the lines formed from worry now hardened into rage, her smile drops.
And Kai can’t hide the agony streaming through her body as she holds Zeke’s hand. Every part of her body is begging her to let go. Her mind is screaming, her heart pumping wildly trying to get her to flee. She holds her hand calm in Zeke’s, but the rest of her body is on edge as if Zeke’s a lion about to attack her.
Good. She deserves every drop of pain she’s feeling. She’s responsible for Zeke’s condition in the first place.
But when my gaze turns to Zeke, he looks happy, content. Sure, he’s in pain from his injuries, but it’s like her touch comforts him.
He’s fucking forgiven her.
Shit.
How the hell did that happen? Doesn’t he realize she’s the reason he almost died?
Zeke raises an eyebrow as if to challenge my assumptions about Kai.
I shake my head, not believing he could forgive her. I’ll deal with that later. Right now, I need to know he’s truly going to make it.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, making sure to stay clear of Kai as I walk to the other side of his bed.
“Like I was shot multiple times,” Zeke answers.
“Yea, you look like shit, man,” I say, with a grin.
He grins back. “You don’t look too good yourself.”
I stare down at my blood covered clothes. I didn’t want to change until he saw the proof for himself.
“Did you get the bastard?” Zeke asks.
“You know I did.”
“Good.” Zeke’s eyes face forward, and a cloud of gloom glazes over them as if he was back on that yacht reliving the attack all over again.
Kai squeezes his hand, noticing the change. It takes a minute, but Zeke eventually breathes normally again as he gives her a tight smile of thanks.
Jesus, she can’t be helping him right now.
“Zeke, you’re awake,” Langston says from the doorway.
Zeke smiles at Langston, and it finally feels like home having us all here together again.
Langston surveys the room, then he spots Kai, and he fucking smiles at her too.
Does no one see how she betrayed us? How holding Zeke’s hand does nothing to earn our forgiveness? She needs to be punished for what she did.
“Did you kill him?” Langston asks.
“Yes, I declared war against Alastar and his men. But after the message I sent in torturing and killing Billy, they would be wise to surrender now instead of fighting.”
We all grin and nod. This is when we are our best, when we are together.
But then their smiles begin to include Kai.
No—fucking no!
She isn’t one of us. She’s the enemy. She will never be one of us. All she’ll end up doing is getting one of us killed.
I won’t let either of them die because of her.
Kai senses that I’m breaking, losing my cool. And it’s time for her to face her punishment for hurting Zeke.
She squeezes Zeke’s hand one last time and then looks to Langston who immediately takes her place at Zeke’s bedside before she stands up walking toward me with her head high, ready to face her punishment.
Relenting won’t make her punishment any easier on her. In fact, it might make it worse.
She walks out of the room first, and I follow. Zeke and Langston both know what I’m about to do, but I won’t do it in front of them. Not when they have taken a liking to Kai. But they won’t stop this from happening. If either of them had betrayed us, then I would have punished them all the same.
I close the door to Zeke's room behind us calmly, as if I’m not about to explode.
“Enzo, I’m sorr—”
I glare at her.
She stops speaking.
Then, I start walking.
I can’t do this here. Not so close to Zeke. He has too big of a heart. If he hears her screaming, he’ll tell Langston to stop me.
So I walk upstairs to my bedroom, which I know is soundproof. Kai follows, walking like a prisoner about to go to the gallows.
