by D W Marshall
Rocking back and forth soothes me. I miss Dominic so much.
It has been too long since I’ve laid eyes on him. Was he even real? I cry for him. Relief for being home washes over me. Anxiety of what my future holds consumes me. Fear that I might not ever see Dominic again grips me. I think that’s the scariest thought of all.
“Can I join you?”
I look up to see Liam’s vivid blue eyes staring at me, full of hope. His hands are stuffed in his pockets. He is uncharacteristically unsure of himself. There’s a lot of that going around.
I wipe my face. “Sure.” I pat the seat beside me. He takes a spot, and we sit in companionable silence, regarding one another.
“Your family wanted me to check on you. I told them I would.”
“I just needed a minute. I’ve been waiting so long to be home, and I’m overwhelmed.”
“I’m sure they know that,” he says.
We continue to swing in silence, avoiding the elephant that has invaded our space.
“Can I ask you a question?” he asks.
“Sure, anything.”
“I had an unexpected visitor a while back.”
“Oh, yeah?” I ask.
“Who is Dominic Luke?” His blue eyes hold mine.
“He’s a friend.” Not a lie. Dominic went to Liam’s house after he left, but not my house?
“When he came to my place to tell me you were alive, he seemed to imply that you were…more than friends.” His eyes never leave mine.
“It’s a complicated story, Liam. He helped me in there when I had no one else.” I don’t break eye contact with him.
“Do you love him? Because he stood in my living room and told me he loved you.”
I can hear his breathing pick up. I try not to react, but Liam knows me like I know myself. Before I was taken, I might have said better than I know myself.
“Why would you ask me that?”
“Because I need to know.” Liam halts our motion. “I never stopped searching for you…you were on my mind constantly. This guy…his presence scares me, Viv. I don’t want to lose you before you were ever really mine.”
I fold in on myself, attempting to make myself as small as possible. I don’t want to go here with Liam. A year ago, he and I were ready to profess our love for one another. A year ago, we were prepared to ride off into the sunset as a couple—that was exactly what I wanted then. Now, things are complicated. My love for Liam is still there. I feel the pull and connection, and he is still just as heroic and gorgeous as always.
He has waited for me, searched for me, and fought for me the whole time I was gone, and I know that I owe him an explanation. I take in a long draw of air, and blow it out slowly.
“When I was taken, I wanted to die. I could only see your face. I hated myself for not telling you how I felt. How each night I stayed at your house…I wanted to not sleep, but be yours. You were all I ever needed, all I ever wanted. I felt stupid for being so weak that I didn’t tell you how much I loved you.”
Liam attempts to interrupt me, but I don’t let him. I put my hand to his lips and he kisses my fingertips. A trail of tingles travels down my fingers and my arm. Hmm.
“When you don’t know if you are going to live or die, you start to evaluate your life and catalog your regrets. You were my mine, Liam.”
He takes my hand. “I don’t have to be. I’m right here.”
I smile. He’s right. He doesn’t have to be a regret. I can make a decision right now to let him love me and pick up where we left off. It would be easy, if not for my feelings for Dominic.
“I was so scared in there. I don’t know. Dominic was this beacon of light. He rescued me. I guess after spending nearly a year with him, under such dire circumstances, I guess I do love him,” I say. I owe him my honesty. I add the word guess to soften the blow, because there is no guessing where my feelings for Dominic are concerned. I love him.
Liam brings my hands up to his lips and kisses them.
“Vivian, I died a thousand deaths when you went missing. I hated myself for being too much of a wuss not to tell you that I loved you. Like a fool, I thought we had forever. Then when I finally get up the courage, you are gone. I never thought I would see you again.” In a surprising move, Liam pulls me onto his lap.
“I know what you were asked to do in there, and that doesn’t change a fucking thing. I love you so much that it hurts to breathe.”
His last words are a whisper, his lips to mine. Urgent, hungry. Tears flow steadily down my cheeks as I give in to what I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember. To be here in his arms, just like this. This kiss—our first—is tender and animal, lustful and adoring. In a word, it’s desperate. My fingers pull greedily through his hair. His hands squeeze my waist. I pant with desire. Could this be home in Liam’s arms?
Images of Dominic pop into my head—him smiling down at me, he and I wrapped in each other’s arms in my Chamber. I break contact with Liam and slide from his lap.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Liam asks, wiping his lips.
“Nothing. I think I’d better go inside. I’m exhausted. I need to rest.”
Liam stands up. “Please don’t tell me this is about him. He was your guard in a sex club. He doesn’t love you. I do! He watched you fuck other guys!”
“Shhh!” I rush to his side. “My parents don’t know anything, Liam! My lord. I know you’re frustrated with me after all this time, but Dominic is a part of my life, too! You weren’t there…”
He is pissing me off. I know him to be temperamental, but never toward me.
“You don’t know how I suffered. This isn’t just about you and your wounded heart and how badly you missed me. I fucking suffered. I am forever changed by that. What I need from you is time and understanding.” I storm toward my front door.
I can’t deal with any more of this reunion shit. I tell Maddie that I will see her tomorrow. She smothers me overdramatically with hugs and kisses. My mom promises to bring me warm tea later. I hug my mom and dad and Shane, and make way down the hall to my room with Growl by my side.
Liam’s outburst surprised me. He should be glad I didn’t come back with, “He didn’t just watch.” I had to fight everything in me to not throw that little nugget of truth back at him.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was in Liam’s arms and I walked away. Are my feelings for Dominic that strong? Can I let Liam go after all this time?
My life feels so off-kilter.
In The Chamber, my mind was wrapped around a finite time—one year. I could circle a date on a calendar, but my life now is…infinite, filled with nothing but possibilities. Will I choose to be with Liam? Will I be able to go back to school? Will Dominic come back to me? Can I pretend this last year did not exist? The mindless chatter in my brain is going to make me crazy.
My mother knocks and enters my room with tea and ibuprofen.
“Thanks, Mom,” I say as I sit up on my bed. She takes a seat on the edge.
“Honey, not one of us knows what you went through in that God-awful place.”
I can tell she is trying to be brave for me. Maybe this is where I get my so-called strength.
“I just want you to know that I love you…and if you ever want to talk…I’m always here for you.” Her voice breaks on the last word.
I set my tea on my bedside table and my mother and I hold each other. Her tears dampen my shirt.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Four Little Words
I drift off to sleep with the uneasy feeling that something is missing. Dominic. I’m free. He’s free. But he’s not here and my homecoming doesn’t seem real without him.
I don’t know how long I am out, but a knock at my door is an answered prayer. “Come in.” I sit up in my bed.
My dad pokes his head in. “Honey, sorry to wake you, but you have a visitor. He says his name is Dominic.”
I fling the covers off, spring out of bed, and nearly knock my f
ather down when I burst through my door.
“Okay, guess I should have invited him in,” my father yells after me.
I pull the door open in haste, and for the first time since my release…I breathe.
I don’t know what role Dominic will play in my life. The bottom line is, I want him there.
“Hi,” I say around the lump in my throat. My heart stutters before picking up its natural rhythm.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi,” I say again. I can feel my father’s presence behind me. “Come in.”
Dominic crosses my threshold. I look up to the heavens in thanks. He’s here.
“Who is our visitor?” my dad asks.
I turn to my father. His eyebrows raise when he gazes at me. Probably because of the huge grin on my face, and the fact that I’m probably blushing a deep red.
“Dad, this is my friend, Dominic. This is my dad, Mr. Travis.”
“Eddie will do just fine,” my father says, shaking Dominic’s hand.
I can see confusion cloud my father’s face as he glances between us. We make our way to the sofa. We sit. All of us. On the same sofa.
“Dad, can we have a minute?”
“Sure.” He stands. “Nice to meet you, Dominic.”
My dad offers his hand again. Dominic takes it, and he leaves. I watch him walk out of the room and wait for the sound of his door closing, and I curl into Dominic’s arms. He crushes me into his chest.
“I was so worried.”
“About what?” he asks me.
“I thought you weren’t coming.” I tear up.
“Baby, I’m here. I was never far away. You and your family deserved a proper reunion.”
I wipe the moisture from my cheeks. “Always thinking about me.” I smile through my tears.
“And only you.”
This is the moment I was waiting for. His presence makes everything feel complete. Even though Dominic wasn’t a part of my life before I was taken, he belongs in my life now. He pulls me so close to him on the sofa that there is no space between us.
“How are you?” he asks.
“I’m okay…reunions are exhausting.”
He gives me a small, reassuring squeeze. I lean into his embrace. Is this home?
“We need to talk,” he says.
Immediately my heart sinks into my stomach. My breaths, calm only a few seconds ago, become frantic from his utterance of four little words. We. Need. To. Talk. No good conversation ever starts off with those words.
He’s leaving me. He told me inside The Chamber that he wanted me any way he can get me. He made me believe that he wanted to be in my life. We. Need. To. Talk. I think I’m gonna faint again.
“Okay.” My voice is weak.
“You want to get some fresh air? Take a walk?” he asks.
“Sure. Let me go tell my mom and dad.” Even though I sound like a child, after the ordeal we all suffered this last year, I think it is best to let them know my whereabouts.
Dominic nods, because I’m sure he agrees.
On shaky legs, I make my way to my parents’ room.
Dominic stands when I enter the family room.
We. Need. To. Talk. I’m dreading every word that will come out of his mouth next.
“My dad was not in love with the idea of me leaving the house. He made me bring these.” I hold up my cell phone and pepper spray. “The pepper spray is for you.” I giggle. “He also wouldn’t let me leave without your first and last name. I’m fifteen all over again.”
Dominic walks toward me. When he reaches me, he takes my hand in his. My fingers tingle at the contact. “If I was your father I wouldn’t want to let you leave my sight, either.”
We make our way out my front door. I decide to head toward the neighborhood park. It’s close to my house. The sun is setting, and the sky is dusky with pink and purple. I will never tire of it. We walk in silence, hand in hand. This is natural. I wasn’t sure how Dominic and I would feel outside of The Chamber.
“So…you wanted to talk about something?” I ask.
“I do.”
Okay, spit it out already. “You’re leaving me? You came to say goodbye.”
He spins me around to face him. “What are you talking about?”
“You said we need to talk! Everyone knows that’s code for “this is over” or “I need space.” I can’t say goodbye to you Dominic and I won’t!” I snatch my hand away from his and I run.
If I never hear him say the words, then they don’t exist.
The park is in my sight. I don’t know if he is behind me. All I hear is the wind whooshing in my ears. I almost make it to the picnic tables. I have no idea what running from him will accomplish. All I know is that I don’t want to hear him tell me goodbye.
“Vivian!”
He’s right behind me. His words were bound to catch up to me. I don’t turn around. I can’t face him. “I’m not going anywhere. I told you what I want…how I feel. That’s not what I wanted to talk about.” His voice is soft, careful.
I turn to face him. “You’re not?” Relief floods me.
“No, I’m not going anywhere.” He reclaims my hand and we take a seat at one of the picnic tables. “You really thought I was here to say goodbye to you?”
I nod.
“Never.” His hand raises my chin and turns my face to his.
He is beautiful.
“I counted every minute until I would see you again. Letting you remain behind was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but you are the bravest, strongest person that I know.”
This makes me roll my eyes at him. “I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m so strong. It was fear that made me stay.”
“Only a strong person can make a decision based on logic in the face of fear,” he says.
The familiar current running between us is delicious, but a thought crosses my mind. “Why didn’t you tell my family that I was safe?”
“When I left you behind, I did as you requested. I sought out Liam first. His father was there. Vivian, this is what I came to tell you. They were on their way to break you out. At the time, we all felt your family would be better off waiting until you showed up here today rather than letting them getting their hopes up. Just in case.”
“You didn’t think I was coming home?” My eyes open wide.
“Of course not. If I believed that for one minute, I would never have left you inside.”
I nod. I’m relieved. I don’t care what his reasons for not telling them. I trust him where I am concerned. He has proven himself to me.
“What I wanted to tell you is Liam’s father has some very powerful associates and friends, Vivian. Because I never want to lie to you, I have to tell you that I recognized Liam’s father.”
“What do you mean you recognized him?” I stare at him in confusion.
“He participated in The Chamber three years ago in Italy.”
“What?” I’m going to be sick to my stomach. “Does Liam know this?”
“He does now.”
“Dominic, I can’t believe this.” Tears sting my eyes.
“He was meeting with Liam to give him the location of The Chamber,” Dominic continues. “I don’t think he planned on telling him about his real knowledge of The Chamber, but he also wasn’t expecting me to show up, either. Liam was pretty pissed, but his dad managed to bring the focus back to you. They were hell-bent on getting you out. I managed to change their minds because I told them how stubborn you were when I tried to take you from there and how upset you would be at them, but now that you are free…” . He looks into my eyes.
I realize what he’s getting at…what we need to talk about. I stand up. “Oh, no! You are not going back there. You can’t!”
Dominic is on his feet. “Vivian, please sit. Let me explain.”
I don’t sit. I pace. Is he insane? “When? When are you going back? Are you staying and working for him again?”
“What? No. Please sit and let me expl
ain.”
I take a seat at the table, but I can’t be still. My knees bounce with worry. I keep my face buried in my hands. “Talk.”
“I’m not sure when I’m going back. By now, the original information that Liam’s father had is old. Mason usually moves the second he releases the girls. I’m not going back to work for him. Liam’s father is giving me the necessary intel to help me bring down The Chamber. I’m going back to end it and bring Mason to justice.”
I turn to face him. “Alone? This is insane. Why you? We just got out.”
He grips my face in his hands. “You said something to me the night I left you there. You asked me if the other girls who were taken were less important than you. That stuck with me for weeks. Liam’s father created an opportunity for me to make up for my sins and also to make sure no woman suffers at the hands of Mason again. I have to make this right!”
Oh, my God. I feel sick. I pull his hands off of me and walk away, I need space.
“This isn’t right, Dominic. Mason took advantage of you. You weren’t well when he found you. You said so yourself. You had been in the dark since your mother’s murder. First, the government took advantage of you, then Mason. He knew that he could exploit your weakness.”
“It still doesn’t make it right. It wouldn’t be fair for me to ride off into the sunset with the girl and the happy ending, knowing other girls are being taken from their loved ones. Don’t you see? It’s because of you that I can finally do the right thing. You brought the light with you, and now I know what I must do.” He stares at me across the space I’ve created.
I throw my hands up in defeat. “Dominic, you are good. You never once touched a single girl inside. You are a good person.”
I can’t lose him.
“Okay, Vivian, you’re sort of right, but I still can’t let The Chamber continue. It won’t be easy. Mason is crafty. He hides very well. He never selects the same location twice. It may take a while to find him. Liam’s father and I are assembling a team.”
I walk to the table, climb the bench, and sit on top. He joins me and sits so close, we are touching. He is here and he is real and he is leaving me. We sit in silence as the sun drops out of the sky—pinks and purples shift to purple and navy.
