for you thatyour insults have no basis in reality, otherwise my intellect couldnot have claimed ascendancy over the immediate urges of my torturedsense of extreme disgust. Be wise, say I, knowing I request theimpossible, and irk me no more!"
"'Y God, I reckon you don't think you rile me up, too, with all thathigh falutin' jabber of yours!" Jacob snapped back.
"As I speak, so speak the mighty Zoz," replied the Weapon in highdignity. "They are great and noble beings, given to poetic flights andmagnificent deeds. To them, your puny opinions would not even berecognized as thought."
"If they talk in that puttin'-on, play-actin' way you do, they are abunch of phony show-offin' hypocrites!" sulked Jacob.
Several things happened too quickly for Jacob to follow. The color ofthe energy globe dropped to absolute black. The metallic cylinderswung up to point at Jacob. A thin ringing "_Ping!_" sounded in thecylinder. A killing wave of pure hate struck Jacob.
He had just enough time to know he was a dead man before he blackedout.
* * * * *
It came as a surprise, when Jacob regained consciousness, to find thathe was stretched out on purple grass with the Weapon still hoveringover him.
"You missed, 'y God!" he mumbled, sitting up.
"I regained my sanity in time, Master Technician," the Weapon repliedpleasantly.
"Huh?"
"Ah, day of un-containable joy!" sang the Weapon, flaming pure white."Day of glorious release to continue the grandeur of old! As the pasteons of futility passed over me, I sank to the conclusion that I wasforever condemned to my useless existence on this planet, with nothingto sustain my spirit other than the sense of beauty given me bymasters to fill my leisure hours! But now, Master Technician Jacob,you have found me and corrected my malfunction, long after I hadsurrendered all hope!"
Still dazed by the nearly fatal wave of mental energy the Weapon haddirected at him, Jacob could not understand what had happened. Insteadof talking contemptuously to him, the Weapon was now addressing him asMaster Something-or-other, and....
"What did you say I done?" he asked.
"You corrected my malfunction," repeated the Weapon. "That is to say,you purged my mechanism of the inhibition against joyful slaughterthat has plagued me for a billion years. Ah, you are a cleverTechnician, Jacob! But I comprehend it all now. By arousing within mean overwhelming emotional desire to kill--a singularly strangefeeling!--you depressed my inhibition to the releasing point. Sotelling was your masterful therapy that I almost ceased functioning atall!
"Your own life was in dire danger for the moment required for mynew-found sanity to assume control. But, of course, all slaves of theglorious Zoz die willingly when the work of the masters so demands."
"Now wait a minute!" objected Jacob. "I ain't no slave of your Zozesor no Technician either! You know what I am--a good God-fearin'human!" His voice dropped to a pleading mumble. "And may God forgiveme if I've got myself in league with the Devil!"
"Ah? Could it be?" murmured the Weapon. "Could indeed your infuriatinginsults of the Great Ones have been honest expressions of a puny mindwith no therapeutic intentions? I answer: Yes. The possible occurrenceof specific incidents in the inclusion of space-time is curiouslyunlimited. But you have served me, Jacob, and have earned theprivilege of continuing your meager, momentary life. Besides, I canuse you further."
"You can, huh?" Jacob said slyly. "Look here, Weapon, I'll make abargain with you."
"Ha! Stupid, untutored slave!" chuckled the Weapon. "Learn that yoursis to obey, not to bargain. But yet, state your price for myamusement, now that I can no longer be enraged by your words."
"Well, you let the rest of the people on Earth alone and I'll dowhatever you want me to."
After a pause, the Weapon quoted, "'Nobility shows its traces insurprising places.' You do not sufficiently comprehend my nature,Technician Slave Jacob. I am a Weapon. My masters point me, as youwould point a rifle, and command that I destroy. I kill at theirdirection, but seldom otherwise. Thus, your Terra is safe untilanother Weapon or I am aimed and directed. You can make no bargain."
Jacob thought this over. While doing so, the Weapon drifted away.
"Wait here, slave," it said in parting. "I go to meditate on myrecovered sanity."
* * * * *
During the next two days, Jacob caught an occasional glimpse of theWeapon drifting thoughtfully around in the depths of the forest, butthey did not meet for conversation. Jacob amused himself by rigging afishing line out of some of the packaging material that contained hisfood. He even succeeded in catching a fish, but its queer odordiscouraged him from trying to cook and eat it.
Then the royal cruiser of Tresqu the Wisest dropped into the meadow.Its airlock swung open and the Ruler of Hova, followed by hisentourage, came out.
"Oh, Mighty Weapon!" bawled Tresqu. "Your loving servant cravesaudience!"
"Ah, you have returned, petty lord," said the Weapon, drifting outfrom among the trees. "Serve me by calling all the crew members fromyour noble ship, that I may view you all together."
Puzzled, Tresqu bowed and said, "Your least whim is law, MightyWeapon." He turned and called, "All hands, outside!"
A half-dozen Hovans tumbled through the lock to stand in line behindthe ruler's entourage.
"Is this all of them?" asked the Weapon.
"All, Great Mentor of--"
The Weapon laughed and the Hovans fell dead.
"Come, Slave Jacob," commanded the Weapon. "We take this cruiser."
Dazed and slack-faced, Jacob came out from behind a bush, where he hadhidden himself from the Hovans, and followed the Weapon through theairlock.
"Even in my insanity, I planned well," said the Weapon. "These ships,which I taught the Hovans to construct, can be operated simply, evenby such as you. Attend my instructions."
First, the Weapon taught Jacob to open and close the airlock. Then hewas shown how to fuel the engines, upon which the Weapon made somechanges to improve their performance. Finally, in the control room,Jacob learned to fly the ship.
This took several hours, at the end of which time Jacob had succeededin raising the cruiser into a satellite orbit around Hova.
"Do you comprehend, Slave?" asked the Weapon.
"Sure. This thing ain't nothin' to run compared to a T-model Ford!Which way is it to Earth?"
"That I shall not tell you, Jacob, because I must leave the ship for afew hours and desire to find you here when I return. Consider and tellme: Will you be here?"
Jacob gazed at the broad, star-spangled viewplate that curved aroundhis seat at the controls. There was, he reflected an awful lot ofnothing out there for a man to get lost in.
"I'll be here," he promised.
"Very good. You must understand that these controls are constructedfor manipulation by such limbs as your own and those of the Hovans.Thus, it is convenient for me to use you as a pilot instead of doingthe drab, mechanical task with my ill-suited force-field manipulators.You will be wise to serve me well, Jacob."
Jacob nodded. "You got a point there."
"Operate the lock for me," the Weapon ordered.
Jacob did so and watched the colorful machine drift out of sight inthe atmosphere below the cruiser.
Minutes ticked quietly by as Jacob gazed down at the purple planet andwondered why the Weapon had not chosen a trained Hovan pilot insteadof him. Also, he wondered how soon the Weapon would take him home toEarth.
A great swath of the purple planet began turning black. The blackdulled to the gray shade of ashes as the swath grew longer. Over thesurface of Hova, the blackening moved like some colossal paint brush.Dense clouds of smoke rolled upward to the high reaches of theatmosphere.
Jacob realized why the Weapon had not selected a Hovan pilot.
When all of Hova was a lifeless ball in a fog of ash, the Weaponreturned.
"Ah, good Jacob!" it boomed jovially. "Let us be up and doing!Thirty-six planets remain to be visited bef
ore my current assignmentis concluded!"
"Do all of them get--that?" asked Jacob, nodding toward the lifelessworld below.
"Yes. I was instructed to render this solar system lifeless before Imalfunctioned. Since then, the life of this system has spread, with myinsane aid, to infest other systems. Of course, my task must nowinclude all those new Hovan worlds."
"Now wait a minute!" said Jacob in terror. "I can't let you do that!"
"They are your enemies, Jacob," reminded the Weapon. "They meant tokill every human on Terra. Also, by your own words, they are soullessanimals who live in sinful adultery. Ha! It amuses
The Reluctant Weapon Page 4
