Meet Me Under the Mistletoe

by M. Robinson

  My heart skipped several beats.

  I didn’t expect it to work. In the moment, I wasn’t even sure why I’d said it. He was so important to me that it was physically painful to imagine not seeing him every day, but surely I didn’t mean so much to him. What was the threat of quitting compared to all the other threats I could have made?

  He knew I meant that one, though. I wouldn’t have meant it if I told him I’d press charges or sue him for sexual harassment. I’d have grounds, but I wouldn’t do it.

  I really would quit.

  I would have to.

  I would feel guilty, even if this part wasn’t my fault. I had followed him around the office for years with doting puppy dog eyes, seeing to his every need and adoring him, regardless of whether or not I ever would have acted on it. There was a shameful part of me that couldn’t deny wanting him, even in that moment, even that awful way. If he ignored my objections and pushed into me anyway, I wouldn’t hate him. I’d hate me, because my willpower might be strong, but not that strong. Eventually, I would get lost in the feeling of having him inside me. The sensation of his hands on me, maybe even his mouth on mine. I would get swept up, and no matter how much I swore I didn’t want it, I would know it wasn’t entirely true.

  And I wouldn’t be able to bear the aftermath. I wouldn’t be able to go back to business as usual the next day when he was sober, to continue wrapping birthday, anniversary, and Christmas gifts for his wife and pretending nothing had happened between us.

  I’d never be able to meet his gaze and not remember what it was like to have him pinning me against that wall, driving into my body. If I felt his lips pressed to my skin even once, that would be it—I’d be completely lost.

  I’d pierced the fog of alcohol shrouding his typically clear judgment, and beneath the fog, he knew that, too.

  Without apology or explanation, he let me down and moved away from me. He tucked his cock away and pulled his pants up with some effort, then walked back over and sat down at his desk.

  “Go. Enjoy your date.”

  It was the coldest I’d ever felt.

  Funny, since a moment earlier I’d been on fire.

  I was still against the wall, disoriented and not entirely certain what had just happened, what was happening still.

  I reached down with shaky fingers and straightened my skirt. He was the drunk one, but I was the one who felt like throwing up.

  I didn’t know what to say or do, so I fled his office without another word.

  I didn’t go on the date, of course. I went straight home and crawled into bed.

  The following morning when I got to work, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was half-afraid that when I got to my desk, it would be packed up in a box. It was a bit illogical—he wasn’t that sort of man—but I was afraid all the same. I was afraid, even if he didn’t fire me, we’d lost something that night we wouldn’t be able to get back.

  It couldn’t be replaced, either. I’d searched most of Manhattan for another man like him, and I hadn’t found one yet.

  It brought me some measure of relief to find my desk just as I’d left it the night before. I wouldn’t feel completely better until I saw Lee, though. Until I knew everything would be okay between us.

  I didn’t have to wait long. My purse was barely put away when the phone on my desk started ringing, and when I answered, his deep voice slid over all the cracks in my composure. “Come into my office as soon as you get settled in.”

  I hung up, my stomach in knots as I approached the door that opened up to bedlam last night.

  Peeking my head in, I said a bit inanely, “You wanted to see me?”

  He gestured for me to come all the way into his office. “Close the door, please.”

  It was the please that made my stomach sink. So formal.

  Besides, Lee never said please.

  Dread opened up like a black hole deep inside me, sucking everything into it. My things may not have been boxed up and waiting for me on my desk, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make me leave.

  Some part of me thought maybe I should be grateful if he truly cut me loose. I’d never leave him of my own volition. I’d be a prisoner to this painful, unrequited devotion for the rest of my days if he let me.

  But I wanted to stay. God, how I wanted to stay.

  I tried to swallow past the knot in my throat, tried to shake off the mantle of fear draped over my shoulders as I approached his desk. I felt like I was marching to the guillotine with little hope of being spared.

  He wouldn’t meet my gaze. He wasn’t awkward—Lee never let his discomfort show—but cordial in a way we never were with each other.

  His gaze finally landed on me, but it swept over my face, missing my eyes. He was just taking stock of how I was feeling faced with him after what had happened the night before.

  Probably realizing how terrified I was, he tried to put me at ease.

  “How was your date?” he asked.

  His tone wasn’t aggressive like it had been the night before when he spoke about the date I intended to go on, but that didn’t make me feel better.

  “I didn’t go,” I answered, surprised he would have expected me to.

  “Why?”

  My eyes widened as his finally met mine.

  He didn’t wait for me to answer, simply cleared his throat and nodded. “Ah. Well, if it was because of me, I apologize.”

  Lee almost never apologized, and he knew it was because of him. “It’s fine. Like I said, I didn’t really want to go anyway.”

  A moment passed in silence, then he said, “We have to address what happened last night if you plan to keep working here.”

  My stomach plummeted. “Of course I plan to keep working here. Don’t you want me to keep working here?”

  “What I want is of little consequence right now. What happened between us last night, what I did to you—”

  I interrupted. “You didn’t do anything to me. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

  He locked gazes with me, subtly shaking his head in disapproval. “Don’t do that, Georgia.”

  “Do what?”

  “Let me off the hook.”

  The truth was, I loved him too much to hold a grudge. Obviously, I couldn’t say that.

  “I know you didn’t mean to put me in that position,” I said a little more honestly. I’d been working for him for two years at that point. If he wanted to try crossing a line, he’d had plenty of opportunities before then. “You were drunk,” I said with a faint shrug. “I’m not mad. We don’t even have to talk about this if you don’t want to—I certainly won’t say anything to anyone about it.”

  I thought that would bring him some measure of relief, but his gaze dropped to his folded hands on the gleaming mahogany surface of his desk.

  After a long stretch of silence, he looked back up at me, an unfamiliar gleam of vulnerability in his eyes. “I think you should quit. I’d prefer not to fire you for legal reasons, but I can still offer you a very generous severance package.”

  My heart and soul had melted into a puddle in my stomach. The thought of leaving him was so excruciating, tears stung behind my eyes and I could scarcely breathe.

  “No,” I said, digging my heels in. “If you want to get rid of me, fire me. I’m not quitting.”

  “You’ll have no trouble finding another position. Hell, I can even recommend you for one, a more stable one with better pay.”

  “No,” I said again, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him.

  “I’m not trying to get rid of you.”

  “It seems like you are.”

  “I’m not. I just don’t think you should still have to fetch me coffee and do my fucking dry cleaning after I pounced on you the way I did.” He ran a hand over his face, sighing into his palm with a smothered, “Christ.” Finally, bringing his gaze back to mine, he said earnestly, “I’m trying to do right by you, Georgia.”

  Some of the tension eased out of my shoulders. I
didn’t know if he was telling the whole truth, though. I wasn’t sure if things between us would change.

  Maybe last night had been too close a call. Whatever else happened, he admitted he knew my feelings for him. We’d never acknowledged that before. Maybe now that it was out there, it couldn’t be stuffed back in the bottle. Maybe he really didn’t want me to work here anymore for the good of his marriage.

  I couldn’t be mad if that were the case, but I would at least like the courtesy of the truth.

  “I don’t need you to do anything to make this right for me,” I told him evenly. “I’m perfectly fine. Everything between us is fine as far as I’m concerned. If you want me to leave, then say that. But don’t try to camouflage the truth with ‘I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.’ That’s cowardly and beneath you.”

  He sat back in his chair, regarding me with faint surprise. After a moment, he said seriously, “I don’t want you to go anywhere, Georgia.”

  The tone of his voice, the meaningfulness packed in that short sentence washed over me, mending every scrape, erasing every doubt.

  It was so easy to smile after that.

  “Good,” I said brightly, unable to bite back a smile with pleasure beaming out of me the way it was. “Then it’s settled. I’m not going anywhere and we never have to talk about this again.”

  His mouth tugged up just a bit at the corners. He didn’t say anything, but I could tell he was happy with my answer.

  I felt a million pounds lighter as I left his office and went to fetch him some coffee. When I prepared it at the counter in the employee lounge, I was so wrapped up in our last encounter, I almost didn’t hear the gossip.

  Almost.

  Like they always did, my ears perked up when I heard Lee’s name mentioned. I didn’t intend to join the conversation, but I absently listened to what was being said as I stirred his coffee.

  Then my fingers froze along with the rest of my body. My heart seized, then exploded in a frenzied rhythm.

  Stunned, I turned around. “What did you say?”

  Anne, an older redhead who was sitting with two other people at the table, lifted her gaze to mine. Her cheeks turned a rosy hue. I knew even then I’d already picked up the reputation of being the boss’ pet, so she probably felt self-conscious gossiping about him in front of me, but she had already said it once, so she told me again.

  “Tess left him. At least, that’s what I heard.”

  Seeing my pallor, the others jumped in to elaborate on the juicy gossip, to tell me about the hunky, muscle-bound personal trainer she’d run off with. Apparently, they’d been having an affair for a while.

  With that very important missing piece of the puzzle, the mystery of last night fell right into place. Suddenly, it made sense why Lee was so sad and looked so disheveled. It even made sense why he reached out for comfort from the one person he knew would give it to him without hesitation.

  And I would have, if only I’d known!

  My mind raced as I carried the cup of coffee back to his office. Last night replayed over and over in my head.

  Why hadn’t he just told me? Everything would have been different if he’d just told me.

  My fingers trembled around the handle of his coffee cup. I held it a little tighter and knocked once to let him know I was coming in.

  He was on a phone call when I entered. He flashed me a smile to wordlessly thank me, but I didn’t walk back out and leave him to his work like he expected me to. Realizing I must need something, he told the person on the other line he would call them back.

  I shifted my weight from one kitten heel to the other as he put the phone back on its cradle and looked up at me. “Did you need something?”

  I cleared my throat. Dropped his gaze. Shifted my weight again. My stomach was tumbling like a gymnast on a trampoline. “Um, about last night…”

  His lips tugged up, but this time without humor. “I thought we didn’t have to discuss that any further.”

  “No, I know, it’s just… While I was getting your coffee, I…”

  How do I say it?

  I heard your idiot wife left you for her personal trainer?

  I realized I could actually have you, and that changed everything.

  But did he even want me for real? I was always around seeing to his needs, and in a vulnerable moment like last night when he was hurting, what if all he wanted was… a release?

  What if he just knew I’d be easy? That I’d been interested in him for so long, I would’ve let him fuck me against a wall in his office, but what came after that? He still wasn’t divorced. Hell, maybe Tess would come to her senses and come back.

  If she did, would he take her?

  The wound was too fresh. It probably was too soon.

  I wasn’t sure what to say, but he was looking at me expectantly. I had to say something.

  So I said, “I was just taken off guard last night. I didn’t know…”

  He cut me off. “It’s okay, Georgia. It was a mistake, one I’m very sorry for.”

  “But I don’t…”

  I don’t want you to be sorry.

  “Georgia.”

  The commanding way he said my name grabbed my attention. I stopped trying to piece together a sentence and lifted my gaze to meet his. “Yeah?”

  He looked at me for a second, then dropped my gaze and sighed. I got the impression he wasn’t sure how to say what he wanted to say either, which was much more surprising. Lee is seldom tongue-tied.

  “You and I have a good thing going here, don’t we? It works for both of us. I don’t know about you, but I’d hate to see that damaged. I wasn’t thinking clearly last night. If I’d have had my way, I would have fucked up everything. I’m glad you said no. I’m glad you got through to me. I know logically I managed to run this company before you came along, but now I’m not sure how.”

  I cracked a smile. Even though I didn’t think I’d like what he was saying overall, that it would ding my romantic little heart and poke a hole right through my dreams, I still appreciated the compliment.

  “I can’t lose you,” he said seriously. “A lot of relationships come and go, but one like ours? It can last… as long as we don’t muck it up.”

  A knot formed in my throat.

  I hated what he was saying, but… I loved it, too.

  And I understood. I want a relationship with him no matter the form it takes, too. Whether he’s pinning me up against a wall and making my fantasies come true, or asking me to wrap Christmas presents for his stupid wife.

  I tried to swallow past the knot.

  I nodded, because I didn’t know what else to do.

  I can’t lose you, he said.

  That was the important part.

  I left his office without saying what I wanted to. Maybe he already knew.

  I went back to my desk, tried to set aside the feeling of disappointment and get to work. After all, Lee needed me.

  Maybe it wasn’t the romantic declaration of love I would have liked to hear, but it would have to do for now.

  Chapter Three

  Lee

  I watch from my seat along the opposite door as Georgia moves her long, slender legs to the side and scoots down the smooth leather upholstery in my direction. She doesn’t scoot all the way over, but I knew she wouldn’t. I moved over here so she would have her own space.

  There should be no problem finding adequate space in a stretch limo with just the two of us inside, but rooms have a tendency to shrink anytime Georgia and I find ourselves alone in one.

  When she leaves work this late, I like to give her a ride home. I don’t like the idea of her hailing a cab—or worse, taking the subway—and being seen walking to her apartment alone. I usually find some reason to text her once enough time has passed. I might ask if she sent so-and-so that email before she left the office, but really, I just needed to know she made it home.

  Right now she flashes a bright smile at my driver and thanks him as he closes the
door.

  Sighing happily, she settles her purse in her lap. Then she reconsiders, looking at all the space on the seat on both sides of her, and moves it to the seat beside her. That draws my attention back to her legs, and I allow myself a leisurely once-over to appreciate them.

  I know I’ve been caught when my gaze returns to her face and her cheeks are rosy. It could be from the chilly December air outside, but I can tell by the way she avoids my gaze, it isn’t.

  In an attempt to direct us back into more business-appropriate waters, I stop watching her and draw out my cell phone.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you free this weekend?”

  “Yes, I believe so,” she says, pulling her phone out to check.

  “I’m attending a Christmas ball in Bishop’s Landing. I’d like you to go with me.”

  Not that long ago, I wouldn’t have dared ask Georgia to accompany me on something that sounded like it could be a date. After Tess left, I found other women to go with—businesswomen, socialites, maybe even tactful social climbers looking to make contacts.

  Once I decided maybe I would start dating again. There was a woman named Stacie who worked at my bank. A nice woman, someone I enjoyed interacting with. She seemed like a good choice to dip my toe back in the dating pool with.

  Georgia knew Stacie made a habit of flirting with me. When I was married, Georgia supposedly didn’t like her because she blatantly flirted with a man she knew was married. Then I got divorced, and she still didn’t like her.

  I didn’t think it was a serious thing, though, until I was going over my schedule with Georgia and I told her Stacie was accompanying me to the gala.

  She knew Stacie wasn’t a socialite or a business associate. There was no reason to take Stacie unless I wanted her there.

  Georgia’s face went white. She looked unsteady on her feet, like the lightest breeze could knock her over. She tried to keep her voice level when she asked if Stacie and I were seeing each other, and when I answered, “thinking about it,” she offered a wooden nod.

  She went back to her desk and sat there for a few minutes, not typing or writing or doing any of the things she should be doing. After a couple more minutes, she got up, grabbed her purse, and disappeared. Shayna appeared in my doorway shortly after to let me know Georgia hadn’t been feeling well and had to go home, so she would be filling in for her for the rest of the day.