I have a daughter!
“I don’t know,” I say, and this time a happy tear rolls down my cheek and I brush it to the side as I stare down at the perfect little girl in my arms. “My husband will be surprised and I’m not too sure he’ll be happy it’s a girl, that’s for sure. I don’t think he’ll care to be honest what I name her.”
I whisper before looking up and noticing the nurse is still waiting for an answer. She gives me a concerned stare so I quickly try and change the subject.
“I’ve always liked Olivia,” I offer and that makes the nurse smile.
“Olivia, I love that name.” She goes over to the white board across the room and writes it beside my daughter’s weight and the time she was born. “You know what it means right?” She asks, as she turns around and smiles. I shake my head no and she hesitates a moment before walking back over to my side and continuing. “Peace. Oliva is Latin for olive tree. An olive branch is the universal symbol for peace. Something tells me it fits perfect.” She gives me an all knowing look which makes me nervous before smiling down at me and Olivia. I glance back down at the now sleeping baby in my arms and agree with her. It is absolutely perfect.
“Peace,” I repeat as I run my forefinger done the bridge of her nose once more and watch her. So calm, tranquil, a gift from above as she naps in my embrace. “There is nothing more that I could ever ask for her.”
*****
“His car was found in a ditch, Mrs. Gables. By the time first responders got to the scene, the fire had been burning so long there were no signs of the body. But we were able to retrieve two back molars after crews were able to put out the flames, and dental records proved…”
My husband is gone. Dead. I can’t believe it. As I sit and listen to the officers, my mind struggles to keep up and I am pulled into thoughts that make the pain of losing him almost unbearable. God, now all that remains are his clothes, his shoes, our memories. The bathroom is filled with his shaver, his toothbrush, his hairbrush. But how can I face it? How can I face any of it? My children will never know their father. I will never know how it feels to grow old with my husband. I hear the words, the finality of everything the officer is telling me and I can’t force myself to believe it.
“Mrs. Gables, are you listening?” I quickly look back up at the two men in uniform in my hospital room. The ones that showed up just an hour after they wheeled Olivia to the nursery so I could get some rest, having not slept much last night after she was born.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand…” But my body starts to tremble and the hospital chaplain steps forward and approaches the side of my bed.
“Is there anyone we can call for you? A friend, a relative? Someone that can help…”
“Michael was coming. He was on his way here to see me, and his new baby! Our baby. Olivia. He just got back from a tour and…” my voice shakes as tears begin to fall and I look hysterically from one person to the other needing more answers. “He hasn’t seen his baby? He doesn’t know we had a girl…”
“Mrs. Gables, I am really sorry. Further investigation showed there seemed to a problem with the engine. We are looking into it, it may have been caused by a manufacturing error, but nothing is for sure yet. We tried calling his next of kin, not wanting to bring you the news alone, but the only person we found…”
“His mother is all he had, and we haven’t spoken to her in years,” I sob, as the truth that my husband is dead settles in my mind and I start to find it hard to breathe. Inhaling deep, I try to exhale but it doesn’t work. I force myself to take in more air and choke on it as pain fills my chest and my head starts to feel light. My hands shake, but body feels numb as I glance up in terror and a reality I never thought possible stares back at me sucking the life straight from my body as I swear I feel myself quickly shutting down.
“Someone get her some oxygen!” A nurse rushes to my side and leans back the bed I am laying in before placing a mask over my face. “We are going to need you to breathe, Rose. Breathe honey, that’s it.”
I force myself to do as she says as the oxygen slowly kicks in and a tingling sensation runs the length of my body threatening to pull me away, and God I want to let it. I suck in air before forcibly exhaling into the mask. Tears stream down my face as I look to my side and see the nurse from yesterday, the one I picked my daughter’s name with.
“Good Rose,” she says with a soft smile. “Keep breathing honey. Relax, rest, breathe!”
But I don’t want to. I don’t want to relax. I don’t want to breathe. I want someone to take it all away. I want someone, something, to take me away so I don’t have to feel, so I don’t have to know that the hell I thought I was living before just got a whole lot worse and I have no clue what I am going to do about it or how I am going to survive.
Don’t. It is too much to bear anyways. Too much for one person to endure.
I hear a voice that sounds like my own as I close my eyes and try and stop the pain. The hurt. The weight of a future I am not sure I can deal with.
You think you’re brave enough? You think you can face it all? You’re just as crazy as your husband thought!
My husband, I think as more tears stream down my face, I force myself to breathe and the voices in the room meld together as the one in my head gets louder.
That’s right, your husband Rose, who is now dead because you failed. You failed when you gave birth to a daughter five weeks early and forced him to hurry home to your side killing him in the process.
I grip the sheets at my side as I force my eyes shut tighter and tell myself not to listen. Not to give into what I fear was always the inevitable. I’m not fucking crazy. Make it stop. Someone please make it stop.
You failed when you couldn’t carry Olivia to term. You failed when you wanted to hand her back right after she was born. Fucking pathetic. You call yourself a mother? A wife? The men in your life never stood a chance. Your father. Michael. All you are, all you will ever be, is a failure Rose. A disappointment. You won’t survive, you could never know how. And don’t kid yourself for one second thinking you’ll ever have the strength to try!
Present Day
“What’s the matter Rosie, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost?” Micheal grabs my arm and hoists me to my feet quickly, roughly, reminding me of every time he pushed me around when he was alive.
Alive? What the hell am I thinking? He’s alive? But… what? How? Holy hell I suddenly really feel like I am fucking crazy.
“Micheal?” I repeat again as I stumble to my feet and he starts to drag me off through the yard towards the house. My ankle, though sore, still works and I stumble after him as quickly as I can. “How…”
I look across the way and catch the eye of the woman who I saw with my son. My son who I now notice is missing as I look around frantic needing to know where she took him before my eyes settle back on her. The whore. The home wrecker, with jet black hair and blue fucking eyes that stared back at me all those months ago on my front porch. The one that sold out the man I love and forced his hand on his own brother. The bitch who has some sick fucking vendetta and hell if I am not going to fight to the damn death if it means she doesn’t win again.
“Natasha Volkov,” I hiss out under my breath as Michael pulls me a few more steps until we are toe to toe with his mistress, the damn whore that broke up my marriage, helped ruin Justin’s life and helped my “supposedly” dead husband steal my son.
“Didn’t know you knew Nat, Rosie! But I guess you two have met before, isn’t that right?” He throws me against the wall of the house and I let out a harsh groan as my body hits the brick.
“What the hell do you want with my son?” I shout at the two of them before attempting to lunge for the woman across from me. To do what, hell if I know. Claw her damn eyes out at least if given the chance, but I am stopped as Michael’s arm jets out in front of me and he throws me back against the stone at my back.
“My son,” he growls as he takes a step forward and holds m
y neck in his right hand. He squeezes, cutting off the blood supply and making it hard to breathe as I stare in his eyes and he leans in closer. “My son, Rosie. You can keep your daughter! The one I warned you against having! But I came back for my son after we were told Natalie couldn’t have any.”
He pushes my head back against the brick and steps away leaving my skull throbbing.
“You can thank your loving boyfriend for that present,” Natalie hisses at me as she takes a step forward and Michael lets her. “After his brother shot me and I was left for dead, the child I was carrying murdered in the process and any chance at having another ripped away from me! You think you can trust the man you picked to take your husband’s place?” She takes a step closer and examines me through hateful eyes. “Shit she is fucking crazy, just like you said Michael.”
I hear him laugh behind her as a sinister smile graces her evil face. “You fucking bitch,” I yell as I push off the wall and attempt one last time to wipe the earth of the malicious witch she is. A woman who robbed from me, stole what was mine and did it all with the help of my suddenly not fucking dead husband. A woman who has the audacity to stand in front of me and still threaten to never give it back.
But Michael forces me back by my shoulders and pins me quickly against the wall. He forces himself against me and looks in my eyes. Evil. Corrupt. Immoral. Cocking his head to the side, he studies me and I stop breathing. The man who I married turned against me a long time before now but never have I ever been more afraid of what was coming next than I suddenly find myself in this very moment.
“Natalie,” he blurts out, as his right hand comes up and brushes down the side of my cheek in an intimately and sickening way that causes me to quiver in disgust. “Go get Liam. Tell him his mother came to say goodbye.” I fight to break off the wall but he forces me back with his strength and holds me still as his jaw sets and a look of straight lunacy fills his stare. “Then tell him to pack. It seems our cover has been blown and I believe a trip is in order.”
I watch behind him as Natalie turns slowly, a vile smile on her face, before she walks off in the opposite direction. I stare at her back as she goes, knowing that she is attempting again to take my son away from me and where they will go this time, and if we will find them if we even make it out of here alive, is a question I am not sure I want to know the answer to right now.
Michael slowly, seductively, pushes up against me again and I whimper in pain from the force of his body pressing mine into the wall. “God, how I always liked taking you after I fucked her. But you knew that, right?” He growls as his pelvis grinds against me and I push as hard as I can against his chest. “You weren’t crazy, Rosie.” He breathes, as he leans in close to my ear and whispers, “But hell if it wasn’t fun manipulating you, huh?” He pushes against me again and I force him back, fight with all I can manage causing him to back away slightly and my hands to break free quickly before one of them comes up and slaps him across the face.
He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head. “It made it fun,” he growls, as he drops a hand and holds my neck in place against the wall. “Making you think you were insane.” I stare him in the eyes and pray to God, the good Lord up above, that he gives me the strength to kill him so I can take back all he has stolen from me throughout the years, even if it means I go to hell in the process. “It gave me power.” He whispers, as his face comes closer and he breathes me in. “Control. The authority to tell you what to do and when to fucking do it.” He suddenly moves away and grabs me with him before fisting my hair in his hands and pulling me towards a fate I don’t want to face. Not if it means losing everything I am just now finally willing to fight for. “My only regret, Rosie… it was so damn easy because you were so fucking weak!” He throws me against a door on the side of the house and smiles. “Fucking helpless. Incapable of thinking for your damn self!” He spins me around and reaches for the door handle. “You never had the strength, did you Rosie? The courage. The damn fearlessness it took to stand up for yourself. To me. To the truth that you knew but was so damn easy to steal from you. Fuck, I guess you never will, and that is the most pathetic thing of all.”
Chapter 10
Justin
I lean against the wall in the back of the room and notice not just my patience is wearing thin, but so is everyone elses. Glancing up, I take note of the tick in Leo’s jaw. The one that warns he doesn’t care what it costs, he’s about to cut all fucking ties if it means getting what we came here for, and the sooner the better. For us at least. The only one that doesn’t falter, doesn’t show any sign of possibly losing control, is Brittany, as she smiles at one of the guards and walks across the room to pour herself a drink.
Pushing off the wall, I crack my neck to the side and tell myself to breathe as we wait. As this job takes way more time than expected, and suddenly an eerie feeling I haven’t felt in years creeps up my spine and tells me we are in way over our fucking heads.
“I’m not a patient man,” I hear Leonardo hiss out under his breath as another guard enters the room and closes the door. “We agreed upon a time and it seems your employer, this Antonio Diaz, is fucking late.” He crosses the room and gestures for Brittany to make him a drink as well once she finishes pouring the one for herself. “Most of the time I don’t bother to even conduct business with people who actually show up on fucking time,” grabbing his drink, he turns and leans casually against the counter. “Let alone stronzos (assholes) who make an impatient bastard out of me.” He takes a slow sip of bourbon and locks eyes with me. And something about the look in his eyes, the way he tilts his glass to his mouth, makes me know something is not right. I can feel it. Sense it. Just like he can. Only both of us are still searching this underline current in the room to try and get the upper hand here and figure out what.
I don’t know what it is, but something about the wait, the delay, the lingering feeling of impending disaster makes something inside me snap. Maybe it’s the adrenaline. Maybe it’s the fucking reality that’s been staring me right in the face all along. Or Maybe it’s the truth that no matter what happens, no matter what goes down, I know what I fucking want, what I’ve always wanted, and to hell with the guilt, the baggage, the damn blame standing in my way of taking back what’s mine. My damn life. And it wouldn’t be complete without Rose, Liam and Olivia in it.
If I make it out of this alive, I silently promise myself it’s about damn time I stop playing the victim. I’ve walked into every damn situation that’s tried to steal the fight from me head on and then let it dull the little bit of faith, of life I had left in its wake. Not anymore! Figuring it’s damn sure about time I found my fucking balls, I release a heavy sigh and cross the room. Motioning for Britt to pour me one of the same, I look at Diaz’ man to my right and cock my head to the side. Normally I let Leo do all the talking on assignments like this. But with everything that matters in my life hanging in the balance, I figure fuck it. This is one job he is going to have to back me up on.
“Your fucking jefe (boss) has two damn minutes to show his face, Amigo. After that it’s no fucking deal. Entender? (understand),” I hiss out as I take the glass Brittany offers me and shoot back the bourbon like it’s water.
His stance hardens as he takes a step forward and his jaw locks. My fucking spine straightens as the alcohol burns down my throat. Fury, a need to give the bastard hell, rushes through me right before I feel movement at my side.
“This is a large shipment, but we can take our business elsewhere,” I hear Leo state, as he attempts to calm a fight that is brewing just under the surface suddenly in the room. But hell if I want him to. I’m ready for a fight. I’m ready to stand my ground, once and for all. Whatever happens here, I walked into it willingly. Put one damn foot in front of the other, just like many situations before. I am no more to blame than any one of us in the room right now. The only peace I know, the only solace I have, is that even if the worst comes of it all, Rose is nowhere near here. And whatever I do, wh
atever happens, I will make sure she gets Liam back, safe and sound. I would bet my life on that fact. I fucking protect what is mine. Always have, always will. And nothing will ever change that.
I may have put myself first with Charlotte in the end, needing my own space when we lost our daughter to work through the hell in my head, but that’s a lesson learned that I will take with me to my grave and never make the same mistake twice. And if what my brother told me was true, I am not at fault for the curveball life first threw at me either, something I am still trying to come to terms with all these years later. As for Emma, sometimes there are no reasons for a cruel fate that attempts to steal away what you love most. I see that now with Liam. Twisted circumstances won in the end with my own daughter, I won’t let them stand a chance in this situation.
“Diaz will have different ideas about that, I assure you,” the man says as two more of the boss in question men step forward enough to pose a threat to the three of us, but still stand far enough behind the main man in question. “He doesn’t deal well with people telling him what to do, and when to do it.” He squints at the three of us, Leo, me and Brittany, and then lets out a deep sigh. “Something you will soon find out if you follow through on such a threat.”
A buzz like I have never felt before runs through my veins. A burning, searing need to stand my ground. For her. For me. For Liam. Without thinking I take a step forward and look to the floor. When my eyes raise, I look into the face of a madman, a killer, a thug sent to carry out nothing but his boss’s orders and know that I would do whatever I need to, even if it means slaying the man in front of me, ending his pathetic life, if it gets Rose and I what we want.
Awakening Page 10
