Tattoos & Unicorns

by Kayla Carson

“Unicorn?” He asked.

  I practically threw myself into his arms, and he pulled me snug against his chest.

  “Shh. Hey, it's OK. Tell me what's going on.”

  “I have no idea who she is anymore.” I said, around my sobs.

  FIFTEEN

  INSTEAD OF WALLOWING in Owen's hotel room, he talked me into going for a walk instead. The fresh air was a welcome relief, and the feel of his hand wrapped around mine helped too. We didn't speak, just walked along in silence. The more time that I spent away from Morgan, the more I wondered what I was really doing here. Moving to New York, opening a boutique. Was it really even my dream that I was chasing? Or hers?

  Our hotel room was directly downtown, so it wasn't long until we found a bench and sat down. I watched as the people walked by. Going in, and out of the shops that lined the street. It reminded me a lot of Virginia, and I found myself thinking back to my time there. It was where I met Owen, and it was also where I thought my friendship with Morgan had finally turned a corner.

  She not so delicately pointed out that we had already hashed things out. So why was I feeling so hurt right now? The fact that Derek tried to sleep with her didn't even bother me. Not really. What bothered me was that she chose not to tell me. She could have stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life months ago, and yet she chose to keep her mouth shut.

  I couldn't really blame her though. I knew long before then that I wasn't happy with him. That I wanted more than he could give me. I made the choice to stay. Maybe the real person that I was angry with right now... was myself.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Owen asked, finally breaking the silence.

  “I'm not even sure why I'm upset anymore.” I admitted.

  “What happened?”

  “Morgan was just being, Morgan.” I sighed. “And I don't know why I keep letting her choices surprise me.”

  “I don't think it's surprise that you're feeling. It's more like disappointment.”

  “I think you're right.”

  “Can I get that in writing? I mean, our relationship is still pretty new. It would be nice to have an ace up my sleeve for future arguments.”

  I nudged his elbow with mine, and he chuckled before putting his arm around my shoulders. I laid my head on him, and he kissed the top of it.

  “What if I made the wrong decision.” I said, in almost a whisper.

  “About me?”

  “No. About life. My life.”

  I sat a little straighter, turning on the bench so that I was facing him. He did the same, keeping his arm draped over the back of the bench.

  “I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I didn't have a plan. I had no passion, or drive. The only thing I was focused on was making it through school. Then I met Morgan. She was so full of passion about designing that I wanted to be a part of that. I knew that I didn't have her talent, but I had other qualities that she didn't. What if I made her need me, just so that I could find a place for myself?”

  “When you think about Sew New, how do you feel?”

  “Terrified.” I laughed. “Neither one of us has any idea how to run a business. Obtaining a degree, and actually putting it to use are two completely different things.”

  “Anyone would be scared to start something new, Unicorn. But how do you feel.”

  “Proud, I guess. It took a lot of fundraising, and hand greasing to get to where we are now.”

  “Do you think you'd be feeling either of those things if it wasn't something that you were passionate about?”

  “Maybe. I mean there's a lot on the line. If things don't work out... I don't exactly have a back up plan.”

  “I'm sure with a degree like yours there are endless possibilities.”

  “I've actually been thinking about branching out. If things go well with the boutique, maybe I could help other companies?”

  “Have you talked to Morgan about this?”

  “No. I don't want to hurt her.”

  “She's your best friend, if anything I think she'd be supportive.”

  “Maybe.” I sighed. “I think we should go back.”

  “Alright.” He agreed before standing, and reaching for my hand.

  On the way back to the hotel I thought about what Owen had said. It wasn't that I didn't feel excited about the opening of Sew New, it was just a reminder that everything revolved around Morgan. Even though my name was beside hers on the business contract, no one would know it. It wouldn't be sewn into the tags on any of the pieces, and when a celebrity wore a design on the red carpet I wouldn't even be an after thought.

  I had never been one to seek out attention. When it came to fame, I couldn't care less. Recognition though? For someone to admit that they actually needed me for once. That I was worth something. That's what I craved. To know that I was good enough, and that without me Sew New wouldn't even be a possibility.

  I'd never get that though. Marketing jobs were a dime a dozen, and the truth is if Morgan never met me her dad would have found her exactly what she needed. I couldn't help but feel like a charity case, even though I knew that I brought a lot to the table. The way she spoke to me about what happened with Derek had been disconcerting.

  She saw me as weak and spineless, and thought that by pushing me I would eventually push back. But when I did, she couldn't handle it. Maybe neither one of us could? Maybe we were so used to the roles that we'd played for nearly half of our lives that we just didn't know how else to coexist?

  When Owen, and I walked back into the hotel lobby, Morgan was sitting on one of the chairs flipping through a magazine. She was wearing her swimsuit, and a large sun hat. Her sunglasses were tucked into the top of her bikini, and her legs were crossed seductively. She did have the decency to put some kind of sarong on, but it didn't leave much to the imagination. When she spotted us she waved excitedly.

  “Hey guys! I'm glad you're back. I was thinking we could check out the beach? I mean who comes to New Jersey, and doesn't visit Jersey Shore!”

  I gave her a questioning look, before turning towards Owen and doing the same.

  “What's with the faces?” She asked. “The weather is gorgeous, and we only have this one day in Jersey. Let's not waste it!”

  “Are you... feeling better?” I asked, cautiously.

  “Tons. Thank you for taking care of me by the way. I know I can be a pain sometimes.”

  “So, we aren't going to talk about the elephant in the room?” I asked.

  “You mean the fact that Owen probably doesn't have a swim suit? I don't mind.” She winked.

  “And to think... I was going to apologize.” I said with disbelief.

  “Oh come on, I was just teasing. Go change, and I'll meet you in the truck.”

  I didn't know what to say to her, so I just walked right past her instead. I could hear Owen jogging to catch up to me, and when I reached my room I pulled the key from my back pocket and stepped inside.

  “Ronnie, wait!” He said, as he put his foot in the door just before it shut on him.

  I turned to face him then with anger in my eyes.

  “She couldn't even apologize!” I half yelled. “Even an insincere apology is better than none!”

  “What does she need to apologize for?” Owen asked, as he took a few steps towards me.

  “Derek tried to sleep with her six months ago, and she didn't tell me. Then, she tried to seduce you. She purposely mentioned him on our first date, and purposely told you that he was moving into our building. And do you know why? Because she wanted me to stand up for myself. Instead of helping me with my self confidence, and telling me the truth about my cheating ex. Instead of telling me that I deserved more than a few random hookups. Instead of building me up, she just kept tearing me down. Do you know what the worst part is? The way that she explained it to me. It actually made sense!”

  He held his arms out then, and I walked into them with a sad smile on my face. He wrapped me in his warm embrace, and kissed the top of
my head.

  “You've known that your relationship with Morgan has been toxic for a while now. The only question is, what do you plan to do about it?”

  I pulled away from him then, so that I could look into his eyes.

  “What do you mean?”

  “If what she says is true, and she wants you to stand up for yourself then that's what you need to do. Spend the day at the beach with her, and when you get back... tell her you plan on doing marketing for other companies.”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. He was right. The only way that she was ever going to take me seriously, is if I showed her what I really brought to the table. Maybe our friendship was beyond repair, but that didn't mean Sew New had to suffer. My mind made up, I quickly changed my clothes, and kissed Owen goodbye before making my way back to the lobby.

  THE SILENCE BETWEEN Morgan, and I as we sat in the truck on the way to the beach was awkward as hell. I had never known her to be at a loss for words, but I guess there was a first time for everything. The windows were down, and the radio was turned up just enough to drown out the noise from the wind. I couldn't even bring myself to sing along to it. My nerves were taking over, as I thought about all the ways that the conversation we needed to have could go wrong.

  After pulling the truck into a parking space, and shutting the ignition off Morgan suddenly turned to face me.

  “I'm sorry.” She blurted out.

  “For what exactly?” I asked, turning to do the same.

  “I should have told you about Derek, and I never should have hit on Owen. I guess I was just jealous.”

  “Jealous?” I laughed. “You practically stole Alex from me at Dahlia's. What was there to be jealous about?”

  She sighed. “When men look at you they see... more. They see possibilities. When men look at me... all they see is a one night stand. Someone they can hit it, and quit it with.”

  “That's because that's all you let them see.” I countered.

  “I know.”

  “Why the impromptu visit to the beach?” I asked, switching gears.

  “It's still our spring break right?” She smiled weakly. “I just wanted to spend some time with my bestie.”

  “I want to offer my marketing services to other companies.” I rushed out, before I lost the nerve.

  “That's a great idea!” She said genuinely.

  “Really?” I asked, with skepticism.

  She laughed. “Of course! You're brilliant, Ronnie. Any company would be blessed to have someone of your caliber working for them.”

  “I honestly thought that you would be angry.” I said, with relief.

  “As long as you don't plan on leaving me to fend for myself.” She winked.

  “I won't lie to you, Morgan. I'm not sure that New York is for me. Maybe when we get there things will feel better... but I just don't know.”

  “Does this mean you want to end our partnership?”

  “No. I would never do that to you.”

  “What does it mean for us then?”

  “You really hurt me, Morgan.”

  “I know.” She said, reaching for my hands. “If I could go back and change things, I would. All I can do now is try to be better. I don't expect you to just forgive me either. I know that it will take time.”

  “I swear you're bi-polar.” I teased, and she laughed.

  “Maybe I am.”

  I wasn't ready to continue this conversation. Not here, and not now. So I did the first thing that came to my mind. I changed the subject.

  “Come on, let's see what all the Jersey Shore hype is about.”

  “OK, but I call dibs if we run into Pauly D.”

  I laughed as I climbed out of the truck, and waited for Morgan. When she sidled up beside me a few seconds later the two of us began the long trek to the beach. The amount of people that lined the shore was unbelievable. I knew that Jersey Shore was a popular vacation spot, but I never imagined that it would look like this. I felt like an ant in a crowd, and if Morgan and I were to get separated I'm not sure that I'd be able to find her again.

  As if she had read my mind, she looped her arm through mine. The two of us maneuvered our way down the beach, stopping at the first open gap to the water. Morgan released me as she stepped into the cool water, and let out a little yelp. When she walked out a little further, I decided to join her. I didn't change into my bathing suit. Instead I wore a pair of jean shorts, and a tank top. I couldn't go into the water anyway because of my new tattoo.

  I watched as she dove under the water, her sarong still tied around her waist. A few seconds later she emerged, and all eyes were on her. A beautiful blonde, water dripping down her perfect body. It was like a slow motion scene from a movie. Men were drawn to her like bees to honey. She smiled at them sweetly, and even said hello to a few before making her way back towards me.

  “Aren't you coming in?” She asked.

  “I don't think so.” I said, looking down at my feet. “The water's pretty cool.”

  “Come on!” She said reaching for the hem of my tank top, and pulling it up.

  “Morgan!” I yelled, but it was too late.

  “Is that. Did you get a tattoo?” She asked with shock.

  “I did.” I answered sheepishly.

  “When? Why didn't you tell me? What is it? Show me now!”

  She was jumping up and down in the water excitedly, and I couldn't help but smile. I was expecting a reaction, but not one like this. I assumed she'd be upset that I didn't bring her along, or at the very least annoyed that she wasn't consulted to help pick out the design.

  “Can I show you back at the hotel?” I asked.

  “Fine!” She agreed. “I still can't believe you did it. I mean, I know you've mentioned it once or twice, but I never thought you'd actually go through with it.”

  “Owen got one too.”

  “Please tell me you didn't get matching tattoos? You're smarter than that, Ronnie!”

  “Of course not! He did get something for me though.”

  “Well? What was it?”

  “Don't laugh.” I warned.

  “No promises.”

  I rolled my eyes. “He got a unicorn on his chest.”

  “That is adorable.” She gushed. “Thank God he doesn't call you bae. Could you imagine the tattoo he'd have to get then?”

  “Since neither of us are Danish, and most people don't know that it means poop I think he'd be alright.” I said, shaking my head.

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Any other secrets you're keeping from me?”

  “Not that I'm aware of. You?”

  “I totally deserved that.”

  “You're right. You did.” I teased.

  The two of us spent the next two hours at the beach. Morgan swam, while I found a vacant table with an umbrella. When it got too hot, I'd go out and wade in the water for a while. Until the waves started getting stronger, and I didn't want to risk ruining my tattoo. Owen made a point of telling me to keep it out of the direct sunlight, and the ocean water. Bacterial infections were not something that I wanted to mess with.

  When we finally drug ourselves back to the truck it was time for dinner. I sent Owen a quick text, and told him that Morgan and I would bring something back for him. We drove around for a while scoping out nearby restaurants, then stopped at a place called Carluccio's Coal fired Pizza. The menu boasted subs, pizzas, and even soups.

  Morgan ordered the butternut squash soup, and I ordered an extra large pizza for Owen and I knowing full well that she'd end up tossing her choice the minute she tasted it. She was always up for trying something new, but very rarely did she actually enjoy it.

  It only took twenty minutes before our order was ready, and then we were on our way again. The conversation on our return trip had gone pretty much back to normal. I was still upset, and she was still walking on eggshells but at least we were speaking. I think we were both trying to come to terms with what our new relationship was going to look like.
The fact that we were both willing to change to keep it though, was what mattered the most to me.

  Instead of going back to our hotel room, we brought the food over to Owen's. He was wearing nothing but a pair of black sweatpants when he opened the door, and the bandage was removed from his chest. I set our pizza down onto the table, and Morgan rushed over to him to inspect his new piece of art.

  “It's adorable!” She said, as she squinted her eyes. “And it's right next to a mermaid?”

  She shot her eyes up to his in question, and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “So... is that your thing? You meet a girl, and get a tattoo for her? Is that how you get them into bed?”

  “Morgan!” I said, swatting her on the arm.

  “Actually, she was in my bed before I got the tattoo.” He winked.

  “You're nothing but a womanizer!” She said, not even trying to control her anger. “How many other women have you gotten tattoos for? Is it your way of marking the notches on your bed posts?”

  “The mermaid is for his niece, Morgan.” I said, before she took her rant any further.

  “Oh.” She said, letting her arms fall back to her sides. “Shall we eat then?”

  Owen laughed, and I turned away from them both so that I could open the pizza box. We didn't have any plates, so we all just grabbed a slice from the box. I looked over at Morgan's soup, and shook my head. It would probably be cold before she even opened it.

  The three of us actually managed to have a pretty enjoyable evening. After polishing off the pizza, I finally showed Morgan my tattoo. We rented a movie from the pay per view guide, and got comfortable on the bed. I was stuck in the middle, but I didn't mind. I was just glad that for the first time since this trip began, there was no drama.

  After the movie Morgan went back to our room, and Owen invited me to stay in his. He gave me one of his shirts to wear again, and like last time I found a spare toothbrush to use. By the time I finished getting ready for bed, he was already lying there. The television was off, and the only light left on was a small bedside lamp. He patted the space beside him when he saw me, and I gave him a warm smile before joining him.