Dark Illusion (Famiglia Book 3)

by A. J. Daniels

  “Guys, this is…” Kai trails off suddenly realizing he never did get my name this afternoon.

  I grin when he turns back to me, brows furrowed, but a clear apology in his eyes.

  “Antonio,” I provide, allowing my name to roll off my tongue and infusing just the right amount of my Italian accent that usually goes unnoticeable to most but by the hitch in Kai’s breathing, I’m guessing it hasn’t gone unnoticed by him.

  The other two guys lift their beer bottles in greeting as Kai and I take up the last two seats, but Sean continues his stare down. I shift in my chair trying not to let his intense gaze get to me. The fuck’s his problem anyway? It’s not like I invited myself along. I’m not impeding on whatever it is he and Kai might have going on.

  Then why does just the thought of Kai with anyone else make me want to put my fist through the other guy’s face.

  Because you’ve been suppressing everything you are for too long.

  I push the thought down and try to pay attention to the conversation around me while ignoring Sean’s death glare.

  “So, Antonio. What do you do?”

  I still at Craig’s question. Pretty sure, advisor to the Don of the Italian mafia won’t go over very well with these guys.

  “Financial advisor,” I answer, taking another drink of my beer. “For a private enterprise.”

  “And where are you from exactly?” I turn my head to the man whose eyes haven’t left me since I arrived. His voice as cold as his stare.

  “Toronto. Canada.”

  “Well, shit,” Dane chuckles from his seat between Craig and Sean.

  Kai laughs. “We’re from Hamilton.”

  That explains Dane’s reaction. Hamilton and Toronto are about an hour drive away from each other, thirty minutes if there’s no traffic on the 401 highway.

  The other three guys go back to discussing whatever it was they were talking about before I walked up. Kai leans back in his chair, legs extended, beer bottle resting on his knee. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone look as relaxed as he does in this moment. I take advantage and really look at him.

  His dark hair is slightly longer in the front, a couple of locks fall over his forehead. My fingers itch to brush them back, but I stay rooted to my spot. A narrow, slightly upturned nose leads down to full lips. He still has a couple of days’ worth of stubble around his square jaw, which means he either hasn’t showered since our run-in on the beach or he’s letting it grow out. For a split second I wonder how it’ll feel against my skin. Will it be soft, or rough and scratchy? Will it leave little red marks in its wake?

  I shiver at visuals of Kai’s face between my legs, his stubble rubbing against my ass checks as he tongues… a small groan rumbles up my throat, but I cover it with a cough and guzzle the rest of my beer and will the sudden hard-on in my pants to go down.

  Thirty-six fucking years old and my dick still has the mind of a teenager. I’ve been able to control and hide my urges for twenty years but less than a day on this island and it’s like the control I had is non-existent. It’s like my body realizes that now that no one will recognize us here, it’s okay to finally give in to what we’ve wanted for twenty years.

  It’s a long time to go without. I mean, I’m not a virgin, and there have been blowjobs at the backs of various clubs. But twenty years of pretending to be straight, of “picking up” girls with Braxton and Alessandro, only to get them in the cab and take them home because I’m the asshole who used them to keep my secret. Twenty years of going to strip clubs and being more turned on by the bouncer than the half-naked girls on stage. Of pretending it was a hard body I was fucking when I was with Siobhan just to get off.

  “Antonio…”

  Kai’s voice drags me back to reality. When I look over at him, there’s concern marring his handsome face.

  “Hm?”

  A corner of his mouth lifts in a lopsided smile. “I asked if you wanted another,” he gestures to my empty beer bottle.

  “Uh,” I clear my throat, “yeah, sure.”

  Kai grins and goes to get us new beers but when he bends down to lift the top of the cooler, I get an uninterrupted view of the curve of his ass illuminated by the firelight and have to subtly adjust myself.

  Fuck me. What is it about this guy? If things keep going like this, at this rate I’ll be buried deep in that ass in a matter of days, and twenty years of control will be out the window.

  Kai

  I FOLLOW THE sounds of reggae to the Lazy Lizard. I’m not surprised that it’s already hopping, even being only nine in the morning. It is Caye Caulker’s largest bar/hangout and I expect it’s constantly this busy from the time they open until everyone stumbles home drunk in the early hours.

  Climbing onto a stool at the bar, I slide my sunglasses off and plop them down, rubbing my eyes with the thumb and index finger of one hand.

  I’ve just dropped my hand and straightened in my seat when a glass gets pushed toward me, its contents frozen. Is that chocolate?

  I look up at Omarion, the bartender, who’s grinning down at me.

  “Coffee and Kahlua.” Is all he says before moving down the bar to tend to the Lizard’s other patrons.

  I take a tentative sip of the frozen drink and then another and another. Holy shit, that’s good. It’s like a mudslide but with coffee.

  I finish off the drink and order another before I finally realize that the hangover from hell is gone. I’m pretty sure I have Omarion and whatever that drink was to thank. After Dane and Craig went in to bed, Antonio, Sean, and I continued drinking by the fire. It must have been close to two in the morning when Sean finally gave in and went inside but Toni and I kept talking, kept putting logs on the fire to keep it going, and kept drinking.

  Which reminds me I owe Dane a bottle of rum. After the beers were gone, Toni and I dug into the rum that Dane must’ve hidden under the beers at the bottom of the cooler.

  Toni.

  My lips curl just thinking about him. My suspicions of this being his first vacation in a long time were confirmed last night when he said the last trip he was on was when he was thirteen and it was with his parents. Damn, man is wound tighter than a fishing reel.

  After hearing that, I have silently made it my mission to get him to relax over the next couple weeks we have together on the island.

  Yeah, relax with your body wrapped around his.

  I tamp down that thought. While I get the sense that Toni wasn’t completely straight, I also get the sense that he isn’t totally ready to admit to himself that he may be gay.

  As much fun as I’d probably have while he experiments, I don’t think I can put myself or my heart through being another experiment again. The first time was bad enough. The second will be… well, there won’t be a second time.

  “Does everyone start drinking at nine in the morning here?”

  Grinning, I spin around to face him and almost drop the glass in my hand. His hair isn’t in the slicked back style it was yesterday. It’s all mussed like he woke up and forgot to comb it this morning. It’s sexy. White and blue stripped board shorts hang low on his hips, and dear lord, his bare chest is a thing of beauty. A dark happy trail leads from below his belly button and gets cut off by the waistband of his shorts.

  I’m not staring. I’m not.

  Okay, I might be… a little. Okay, a lot. But anyone with eyes would be staring. It’s impossible not to.

  “Welcome to the first real day of your vacation, and island life.”

  Toni laughs at my outstretched arms, but eventually moves to take the seat next to me, signaling to Omarion to bring him a drink. After he brings Toni the same drink he made me, Antonio moves the glass out of the way and rests his forehead against the bar.

  “Rough night?”

  “Ugh,” he grunts, which causes me to chuckle more.

  “What’s that saying again? Beer before liquor never sicker. Liquor before beer you’re in the clear.”

  “Ha-ha. Laugh it up, asshole. Mr.
we’re-out-of-beer-want-some-rum?”

  He slowly peers up at me, probably noticing for the first time that I’m not going through the same hell he is.

  “How are you not dying right now?”

  I lift my half-full glass in a salute and take a drink before answering, “Omarion’s hangover cure.”

  Toni’s eyes dart from the glass in my hand to me and back again like a ping-pong ball. Finally, he sits up and grabs hold of his own.

  “It looks like one of those fancy frozen coffee shop drinks back home.”

  “Probably tastes better though.”

  Toni nods his head in agreement and then proceeds to down half of it in one gulp. Dude is going to get a brain freeze if he doesn’t slow down. And yup, just as he puts the frozen glass down again, he winces rubbing his forehead. I can’t hold in my laugh anymore.

  “Shut up, asshole,” he grunts.

  “Oh, this day is going to be fun.”

  Toni scowls over at me, but I just grin back at him. His eyes narrow.

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re about to suggest I do something other than find a shaded area and take the longest nap in history.”

  “Because I am.”

  “Fuck sakes,” he mumbles under his breath. “Look, last night was cool and all, hanging around the fire, but I’m really not looking for any more friends.”

  I try not to let show how much his words sting. They shouldn’t after all. I just met this guy yesterday but for some reason, I can’t seem to leave him alone. I don’t want to leave him alone.

  “Well, lucky for you, I’m not either. But it just so happens I have a spare ticket to go snorkeling with some sharks and figured you might want to check it out.”

  “Snorkeling?”

  “Yup.”

  “With sharks?”

  I laugh. “With nurse sharks. Don’t worry, you’ll make it back with all your limbs intact.”

  “Yeah, I’m not so sure that’s such a good idea.”

  “You want to experience all the Island and Belize has to offer, right?” I ask, peering into his steel-blue eyes.

  “That is the plan, yes.”

  “Good. I’ll come by your Airbnb and pick you up in about half an hour. The tour leaves at ten thirty.”

  Before he can protest again, I’m jumping off the stool and strolling through the bar back to my own rental.

  ***

  Antonio

  “Have you ever been snorkeling before?” Kai asks as the boat slows when we reach our first destination of the tour. I think the tour guide called it Hol Chan or something or other. I admit I wasn’t paying the best attention, with the bitch of a hangover currently inhabiting my brain.

  We aren’t expecting to see sharks on this stop but were told since it’s been a marine reserve for over thirty-five years, we’ll see an abundance of different fish.

  “Not since our last family vacation to Mexico when I was thirteen,” I answer, watching him slide on the swim fins. At least I think that’s what they’re called. I could be wrong.

  He looks like the grownup version of that kid on the commercial traipsing through the house in his swim shorts, goggles on his head, and swim fins on his feet. He looks ridiculous and hot at the same time.

  My dick gives another twitch when I glance down at the metal through his nipples gleaming in the sun. Would he moan if I sucked him into mouth? Would it cause his hips to buck?

  Fuck, I have to stop thinking these thoughts.

  One would think with the amount of alcohol we drank last night, I would’ve passed out by the time my head hit the pillow but that wasn’t the case. Every time I closed my eyes, pictures of Kai underneath me, on top of me, his face between my legs, mine between his… you name it, it would appear. I couldn’t stop imagining what he would taste like, what he would feel like, what sounds he would make. And the crazy thing is, none of it scared the shit out of me like it should have. If anything, it made me want to find those things out for myself.

  The second I told him I wasn’t looking for more friends this morning, I regretted it. Not because it isn’t true –it is. I’m not looking for more friends, but because I realize how it may have sounded to Kai. The thing is, I want him, even if it is just for the duration of our stay here, but I want him as more than a friend.

  Twenty years, and in two days, any logical thinking has taken a back seat to my dick.

  “Just remember to not submerge your snorkel or you’ll get a mouth full of water,” Kai says grinning over at me.

  I’d like to give him a mouthful of something else.

  I sputter and choke at the thought, sending saliva down the wrong pipe. Great, now I’m the idiot coughing because he doesn’t know how to swallow. Ah, fuck. I groan at the direction my thoughts have taken.

  “You okay?”

  “Good,” I manage to croak out, reaching for my own diving mask and swim fins.

  Once I have everything on, I take a minute to look around the sailboat and notice that Kai and I are the last ones left except for a couple of crew members. Everyone else must have gone overboard during my coughing/choking fit.

  The water is warmer than I thought it was going to be. Not sure why I thought it would be colder since Belize is located on the Caribbean Sea. As soon as I start swimming, I’m assaulted by schools of various colorful fish. My knowledge of marine life is extremely limited, so I don’t recognize most of the fish swimming around us, but the one I do recognize is the angelfish. And there are tons of them.

  I’m not sure how long we stay at our first stop, but by the time we get back on the boat and are ready to move on I sense Kai is more than ready for our next destination, Shark and Ray Alley. He’s practically vibrating with excitement and his knee hasn’t stopped bouncing.

  Without much thought as to what I’m doing, I reach over and place my hand on his bouncing knee, instantly stilling his movement. Kai’s wide eyes snap to mine, a slow smile curls his lips when he notices me smiling at him. We sit like this, with my hand on his knee, both of us staring out over the water as the boat sails to our next destination, neither one of us moving to break contact with the other.

  “Holy shit. Is that…” I ask looking down into the water as the boat slows once we reach our second destination.

  Kai laughs, leaning over the edge to get a better look. “Those are nurse sharks.”

  There are so many of them, but none are as big as I was expecting. Seems to be the theme of the day. Kai eyes me expectantly. Probably thinking I’m going to bail on this one and choose to stay on the boat, after my not-freak out back at the Lizard when he mentioned snorkeling with sharks.

  Truth be told, when he said sharks I automatically pictured those big fuckers with massive teeth they show on Shark Week. The funny thing is, if he had said cage diving with those sharks, I would’ve been game. Yeah, I don’t understand it either. I think the sun and laidback lifestyle of the island is messing with my head and all my reasoning.

  “Let’s do this,” I say, sliding the swim fins back on my feet.

  Before we get back in the water, one of the crew members reminds us to not touch the sharks or rays we might see, but if we want to feed them sardines we can. We’re here to swim alongside them in their natural habitat, not disturb them.

  We spend the majority of our day here and neither Kai, nor I, are complaining. These nurse sharks may not be the fierce, scary looking ones from Shark Week but they’re just as beautiful. To see them in their natural habitat and to know they are going extinct is something else. It makes me want to do something other than hide behind the façade of the corner office and three-piece suits. If I ever were to leave the Famiglia – if I ever could leave the Famiglia- this is what I picture myself doing.

  Not having to worry about cleaning money that’s been laundered, not having a hand in playing God with deciding who lives and who dies, not having to constantly be checking my back because the one time I don’t, could mean a bullet.

  I love my family. I l
ove Braxton. I owe him a lot. I mean, the money I make working for him certainly affords me a comfortable life. I don’t want for anything and people respect me wherever I go because of my association to Braxton. But this lifestyle we lead is exhausting. Braxton’s rule about never turning your back on family is the reason why I’ve stayed all these years. The reason why I came back after he took over as Don.

  Shit. That makes me sound ungrateful, doesn’t it? But I’m not. I’m just tired of the façade.

  I look over at Kai snapping pictures with his GoPro. Because of course, the guy has a fucking GoPro camera. Maybe while I’m here I don’t have to pretend. Maybe, just maybe I can leave the façade back in Toronto and spend a couple of weeks just being me. Maybe for once, I can have it all; the good job, the great family, and the guy. If only for two weeks. With that, my decision is made. For two weeks I’ll let the mask slip and allow myself the things I have been denying for two decades.

  We dock back at shore shortly before five in the evening. Kai and I thank the crew members and then we’re hopping off the sailboat, both of us exhausted from the three stops and the constant sun for several hours. But before we head our separate ways, I grab hold of his arm.

  “Have dinner with me,” I blurt out.

  Kai eyes my hand wrapped around his arm before his gaze lifts to search mine for something. After a moment, he sighs dropping his head with a slight shake.

  “Yeah, okay.” He eventually answers. “Let me just check in with the guys and I’ll meet you at yours?”

  I let go of his arm and take a step back. “See you in an hour?”

  Kai nods but still continues to avoid eye contact, which makes me question where I went wrong. Everything had been great while we were on the boat but as soon as we docked and I grabbed hold of him, I could feel him start to slightly pull away. Then when I asked him to dinner, he ceased being the guy I met on the beach yesterday or the guy I just spent hours with on a sailboat, snorkeling around Belize. While I know the right thing would probably be to give him a way out of having dinner with me, I want to be selfish and not give him an out. So, when he finally turns and begins walking away from me, I let him go. Hoping he won’t cancel the minute he gets back to his rental house.