Wanted Angel: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (Feathers and Fate Book 3)

by Sadie Moss

  Ryland nods in agreement. The other brothers all look at each other, having one of those moments where they all silently communicate, as if I’m surrounded by seven Knights.

  They each nod and look back at me, and I feel something in my chest loosen.

  “You were played, babycakes,” Nix says. “We were all played, we get it. You don’t have to worry about a thing from me.”

  “Same,” Sawyer says, and Knight nods his agreement.

  I let out the breath I’ve been holding for way longer than usual. Ryland starts moving up the ladder again, apparently considering the subject closed for now.

  “We need to find a safe house,” he says. “Someplace we can lie low while we figure out what to do next.”

  The safe place, it turns out, is an old cabin up in the mountains several hours to the west.

  It was once a retreat for some famous movie star or other when he wanted to detox from his latest addiction. Ryland’s law firm represented him until Beckett won the cabin from the guy in a game of cards just to get back at Ryland in one of their petty battles over the years.

  “I’ve never used it,” Beckett explains. “And it’s still technically in his name. I don’t think we ever switched the documentation over. But it doesn’t matter. He won’t be using it, and it’s in the middle of nowhere. We’ll be all right there, and it’s unlikely anyone will connect it to us. Without the demon-mark, it should be harder for supernaturals to track us down.”

  The drive goes by fast. Or maybe it just seems that way because Beck drives like a bat out of hell.

  Unlike Isaac, who had a small, cozy cabin just for himself, this cabin isn’t really so much a cabin as a mansion made out of wood so that it can pretend to still be a humble abode. One of the rooms has windows for three of the walls, from floor to ceiling, giving an excellent view of the surrounding forest but also making me feel rather exposed. There’s a bowling alley and a movie theatre down in the basement, the hot tub’s big enough for all eight of us, and there are more bedrooms than I know what to do with.

  “Now this is living,” Nix declares, flopping down onto the couch in one of the three living room areas. “See? I told you all that living off the grid isn’t so bad. I don’t know why you give me shit about my lifestyle choices.”

  Remi immediately slips into the kitchen, murmuring that he’ll check out what food is in the cupboards—Beckett called his whiz of an assistant and arranged for groceries to be delivered from the nearest small town, which is about fifty miles away. I’m grateful he did. I’m starving, and I honestly can’t remember the last time I ate.

  “You don’t live off the grid,” Sawyer says, translating for Knight with a grin. “We all know where you are.”

  Nix flips them both off, then looks at me. His laughing features pull down into a frown, and he scrubs a hand through his ash-brown hair. “Why the long face, sugar? Come sit with me. It’ll help you warm up.”

  I’m not particularly cold, and I’m about to tell him that. But then I realize that I’m hugging myself, my arms wrapped around my waist as if I am cold. With a little nod, I go over and sit with Nix, sinking into him. I scoot over a little, get myself comfortable, and then beckon Knight over. He comes and cuddles up on my other side.

  Sawyer smiles at me, and it’s not one of the seductive, teasing smiles I’m used to from him. This one is warm. Open.

  Real.

  Holding on to two of my men, I feel better. Not that they’re my men, exactly—

  No. No, that’s not right.

  I’ve kept telling myself that, repeating over and over in my own head, reminding myself that this thing between us couldn’t possibly be lasting and real.

  But that’s a lie.

  They are mine. Or at least, that’s how they feel to me. I feel like they’re my men, and I don’t want to be away from them. Even now, I want to touch them all over, compulsively, to make sure that they’re really here and really okay. I’m almost terrified that if I let them out of my sight, they’ll disappear.

  Those moments when I thought they were gone and it was my fault were the worst I’ve ever experienced. I still feel aching and sick inside, like residue from throwing up or getting punched in the gut. Not exactly pain, but an echo of it.

  What if I lose them again?

  What if they die for real?

  Not just from getting into a battle, although that’s a possibility if Salinas and Anderson find us—but what if they’re redeemed?

  And they will be, I think, curling up further into Nix and Knight, if they keep doing these good things and trying to protect humanity.

  For the first time in my life, I realize that I’m feeling… selfish. I’m not sure that I want to save the Earth if it means I could lose the men I love.

  Yep. Love. That is absolutely the right word. I’m in love. I realized it when I thought they were dead, and now that I know they’re not, I feel it in a way that seems to fill up my entire body.

  Does it make me an idiot to have fallen in love with the personifications of the seven sins? Probably. But this is the first time I’ve really felt anything like this, other than a general, sort of distant love for humanity in general. This is so much more intense and personal.

  I don’t want them to die. And I’m willing to let other things fall by the wayside to make that happen.

  “We need a plan of attack,” Beck says from where he’s standing in the door frame. “We can’t stay here indefinitely. Only long enough to rest up and make a plan. Then we need to move again.”

  “A-fuckin’-men.” Ford growls the words, prowling around the living room like a caged animal. “Like fuck I’m staying here. Waiting this shit out. We have to hit back. Best defense is a good offense. That Salinas fucker and some angel want to try to take over Earth, they’re gonna have to go through us—”

  “No!” The word bursts out of me before I can stop it.

  The others all look at me. Even Remi steps out of the kitchen, his brows drawn tight over his blue-green eyes.

  “What do you mean?” Ryland asks. I can’t quite get a read on his tone. It’s not quite cold like it normally is, but it’s slow. Careful.

  I leap up from the couch and all but fling myself at Beck, wrapping my arms around him as tight as I can. It feels almost like I’m trying to restrain him, to keep him from leaving.

  “No,” I repeat, my voice choked. “You can’t keep fighting.”

  “Of course we can, angel. Just because you lied about the reason for coming into our lives, that doesn’t change the fact that you were right—if these portals open all over Earth, if some fuckhead demon and slimy angel get a toe-hold here, it’ll change everything. We can’t let that happen. Earth is our home.”

  My heart expands at the conviction in his voice. But I squash the feeling down, shaking my head as much as I can with my cheek smashed to his chest.

  “No! I love you. I’m in love with you. All of you. I care about every single one of you. I need you in my life, and if you keep fighting, you’ll die. When I thought you were gone—fuck, Beck, I can’t go through that again.”

  His grip on me tightens, becoming almost as crushing as my hold on him. I don’t know if it’s the tone of my voice or hearing me say his name, but I can feel his body responding to me.

  I pull back just enough to tilt my head up and gaze into his eyes, my voice low and sincere. “I won’t lose you. I can’t. I’ve spent my entire existence trying to do what’s right. But if you do the right thing right now, if you keep fighting Salinas and Anderson and trying to protect Earth, you’ll be redeemed. Because those are good things, virtuous things to do, and that means you’ll die.”

  The second the last word leaves my lips, I press up onto my tiptoes, hooking the back of his neck to pull him down until our lips meet. I kiss him with everything I have in me, as if the kiss can convey everything my words can’t. He reacts immediately, hauling me against his body as he kisses me back, hard.

  When we finally break a
part, we’re both breathing hard. The other sins are all gazing at us, and I realize this reminds me of the moment we got back from the arena during the Blackfire Tournament.

  That was the first moment I realized just how much these men might really care for me. The night our relationship entered an entirely different realm, one there was never any hope of returning from.

  Not that I fucking want to.

  Stepping away from Beck, I turn and kiss Ford, our lips meeting in a harsh and passionate fusion. Then I kiss Sawyer, long and sensuous. I turn back to Nix and Knight and kiss them too, taking my time with it. When I break away from Knight, I march over to Remi, who dips me playfully.

  And then there’s just Ryland.

  Ryland might not be sure about me, and I might not be sure about him. There’s still some distrust between us, some distance, but I can’t deny that I care about this man.

  I respect him.

  I want him.

  I think I could even like him, really like him, if he would open up to me.

  Not sure of how close he’ll let me get, I kiss him softly on the cheek. Then I step back. Ryland grabs my wrist, not like he’s really trying to stop me but like he just… needs the reassurance.

  His dark eyes glitter as he gazes at me in silence for a moment. I can’t tell if he’s trying to see into my soul or show me a part of his, but I gaze back, drawn by his intense stare and unable to look away.

  When he pulls me toward him again, I’m already moving almost before I feel the tug on my wrist. I can’t even quite tell which one of us initiates the kiss, but I go up on my tiptoes as I reach him, and then our lips are pressing together.

  This is no chaste kiss on the cheek.

  This is the kind of kiss that shifts your world on its axis.

  His arm slides around my back, his large hand sliding up between my shoulder blades as I arch backward slightly, tilting my head up to give him more of my lips. He smells like money and expensive whiskey, and the feel of his hard body pressed against mine makes my head spin a little.

  When we finally break apart, I expect his eyes to shutter. I expect him to pull the mask back down over his face. But instead, he just watches me, his fingers still wrapped lightly around my wrist.

  He’s not closing himself off.

  So I won’t either.

  I square my shoulders, taking a deep breath before letting it out. Then I say the words I’ve been dying to tell them for a while now.

  “I love you all. I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I can’t lose you. And that’s why you can’t keep fighting Anderson and Salinas. We have to stop.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  RYLAND

  It takes a lot to surprise me.

  I pride myself on being able to read people, to predict what they’re going to say and do and to calculate my own moves accordingly.

  It’s why I’m such a damn good lawyer.

  The moment Trinity stepped into my office with Beckett, I knew there was more to her story than she was telling him. I called her out and got her to admit that she was on a mission to redeem my brothers and me. So her revelation in Isaac’s basement earlier was hardly a shock to me.

  This, though?

  This is.

  My brothers have all gone utterly silent, staring at the fierce little angel who stands in our midst.

  I can still taste her on my lips. The small kiss she pressed to my cheek wasn’t enough, and I couldn’t stop myself from pulling her closer and taking what I wanted—what I’ve wanted for so long.

  My fingers are still wrapped around her wrist. We’re standing mere feet away from each other as she gazes at me and my brothers with earnest, wide eyes.

  She wants to… give up.

  Of all the things I’ve come to expect from Trinity, giving up has never been one of them. I’ve seen her fight, I’ve seen her work tirelessly. I’ve seen her enthusiasm and dedication to what she thinks is right shine so brightly that its light infused my brothers too. She got us all on board with her plan to stand against the demons assaulting Earth through nothing more than pure stubbornness and determination.

  And now she wants to quit.

  No. That’s not it. She wants us to quit.

  She wants to face the combined threat of a high angel and a powerful demon on her own rather than risk our existences.

  Because she loves us.

  “Trin,” Remi says slowly, taking a step forward. His blue-green eyes shine softly, and I’m not surprised he was the first of us to speak. Beckett and I may be the de facto leaders of our group, but he’s always been the peacekeeper—the voice of reason and care. “We can’t just quit. Now more than ever, we have to keep fighting.”

  “Yeah.” Ford’s voice is like gravel, and I can almost hear his pulse picking up at the mention of a fight. “Those fuckers think they can just overtake Earth? They think they can turn it into another Hell? Because that’s what it fuckin’ will be. They’ll decimate humans. Go after supernaturals. They’ll try to kill us, because they know Earth is our territory. We have to fuckin’ defend it.”

  “I’m a lover, not a fighter,” Sawyer adds, “and even I think Ford’s right on this one.”

  Knight signs his agreement, nodding emphatically as he does, and even though Trinity hasn’t learned all of his hand signals yet, I know she picks up enough of his meaning to understand what he’s getting at. A look of panic flares on her face, and she takes a step back, pulling out of my suddenly lax grip and spinning around to look from one man to the next.

  “I care about Earth too! I love it, more than I ever thought possible when I was cast down from Heaven. But an Earth without you all in it?” Her eyes shine with tears, and she brushes them away angrily, a stubborn glint coming into her eyes. “I don’t want to live there. I can’t live there. So please, let me do this on my own.”

  “Sugar pie, we don’t know that stopping Salinas and Anderson will redeem us all,” Nix puts in, shoving his hands into his pockets as he cocks his head. “I mean, it’s possible, but… we’ve been sins for a long time. That’s a lot of bad to wipe out with one grand gesture.”

  Trinity’s eyes flare even wider at the words wipe out, and fresh tears make the dark brown of her irises glisten.

  “It’s not worth the risk.” She takes a small step toward him, a plea in her voice. “You don’t know what it was like to wake up and think that you were all dead. To think that I was the one who destroyed you. Just by trying to help you, to make you ‘better’ people.” She swallows. “But I don’t want you to be better, whatever that means. I want you to be you. To stay who you are, to be the men I fell in love with. And to stay alive. Please. Please.”

  “Fuck, Trin.” Nix looks tortured, biting his lower lip as his shoulders slump a little. “Don’t look at me like that.”

  I know exactly what he means. Trinity has a power over each of my brothers that borders on something supernatural. I’m not sure any of them could deny her what she asks for when she looks at them with such sweetness, such sadness in her eyes.

  I’m not sure I can either.

  As if drawn by my internal thoughts, Trinity tears her gaze away from Nix and turns to face me. It’s like she’s sensed my moment of weakness and is ready to pounce on it.

  “Ryland. Beckett.” She shoots Beck a look. He’s standing next to me, his posture stiff and still, green gaze trained on the angel. “What do you think?” Her jaw juts out a little as she narrows her eyes at me. “I barely convinced you to join up with us in the first place. And I was wrong! You were right not to want to get involved. So just go back to your office, go back to your work, and let me handle this. I’ll still hold up my end of the bargain and owe you a favor. You’ll get everything you want. You’ll win.”

  My jaw clenches, and I can feel my features going stony.

  She’s trying to appeal to my pride just like she did in my office that day. But it’s not working. Because what pride is there in running? What pride is ther
e in leaving someone you care about to face the dangers of the world on their own, just to keep yourself safe?

  Trinity stares at me for a long time, her gaze boring into me as if she’s trying to force my facade to crack with the sheer intensity of her eyes. Her small hands curl and uncurl into fists, her breath coming short and fast. She looks wild and strong, and for a moment, a surge of pride for her flares inside me.

  She’s a fucking warrior.

  And she’s beautiful.

  Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m going to allow her to go into battle on her own. I’m not going to let her face a massive threat to all life on Earth alone.

  My own hands stay loose at my sides, but I draw myself up a little straighter as I meet her gaze. “No. We don’t abandon what we start. We don’t leave a job half-finished.”

  Her face crumples, and the pain I see in her face hits me almost like a physical blow. She bows her head for a second, and when she looks up again, she’s crying openly, large tears spilling over her eyelids and cascading down her cheeks in a stream. She glares at me, anger joining the hurt in her expression. Then she turns to Beckett, and I know he’s become her last hope.

  But I also know her hope is in vain.

  Beckett and I were closer than brothers once, more like two halves of a single person. And no matter how much time has elapsed since our falling out, I still know him almost as well as I know myself.

  Pride and Greed are two sides of the same coin. And neither of us backs down easily.

  “Angel, we can’t,” he says, his voice softer than I’ve ever heard it. It’s costing him something to say those words, I realize. Just like it cost me. “You know we can’t.”

  Ford growls a second before Trinity’s wings pop out of her back. He must’ve been sensing the flare of anger in her, and now we can all sense it. I’ve seen her wings come out when she was flustered or aroused before, but never when she was angry. They flare wide, making Nix and Remi shift out of the way as they flap gently.