Once Upon a Winter: A totally perfect festive romantic comedy

by Tilly Tennant

  ‘Yeah. So give a poor hopeless, lovesick man a chance, why don’t you?’

  Hannah narrowed her eyes. ‘Are you sure this isn’t some elaborate ruse to get into my bed? You sit outside and pretend to stalk me so I ask you to stay here and protect me from… well, you, basically.’

  Mitchell laughed. ‘No, but I wish I had thought of that!’ He pulled her close again and kissed her. God, it did strange and incredible things to her. Kissing him was like kissing for the first time in her life, all over again. She almost wondered if every other man had been doing it wrong. Flipping her onto her back, he leaned into her and began on her neck, raining tiny kisses all over and setting every nerve ending ablaze. She couldn’t kick him out of her bed now, even if she wanted to.

  ‘All I’m saying is don’t tell him just yet,’ Gina hissed.

  ‘Seriously?’ Hannah whispered back. ‘Are you actually serious?’

  ‘He’s willing to do a brilliant price on this house and if I want it I don’t want him changing his mind because you’re shagging Mr Forgetful.’

  ‘It’s not fair to keep him in the dark…’ Hannah chose to ignore Gina’s jibe about Mitchell. She glanced across to where Chris was digging in his pocket at the front door of a neat terraced house. With a little grunt of triumph he produced a key with a numbered fob and rattled it around in the lock.

  ‘It’s always a bit tricky with an unfamiliar lock,’ he said, smiling back at them.

  ‘If you feel so bad for him you should date him,’ Gina whispered as Chris turned back to his task.

  ‘I should date him because I feel sorry for him, or so that you can get this house cheap? You’re unbelievable!’

  ‘No, because he seems nice.’

  ‘Nice?’

  ‘Yeah, nice.’

  ‘Nice is a bit nondescript. Cupcakes are nice but I don’t want to shag one.’

  Gina stifled a giggle.

  ‘What are you two whispering about?’ Jess interrupted. Hannah turned to her, trying not to blush and hoping she hadn’t heard any of the conversation. She was quite sure that Jess knew all about the birds and bees, but she was also sure she didn’t need to know the details of her aunt’s sex life.

  The front door gave way, and Chris turned to them, clapping his hands together as if announcing a top-of-the-bill theatre act. ‘Ladies…’ He waved his hand for them to follow him into the house. They trouped in and stood in the entrance hall. ‘This is it: number fifteen Susannah Street. Finished last week, and, if I’m honest, one of my favourite jobs so far. Lovely views of the park, and it was already quite well maintained before I got my hands on it – I think it might suit you and your daughter down to the ground.’

  ‘If it was in Birmingham, yeah,’ Jess muttered.

  ‘It’s lovely,’ Gina said, gazing around in approval.

  ‘You’ve only seen the hallway,’ Jess said.

  ‘Then let me show you the rest,’ Chris replied. ‘Unless you’d all rather take the tour alone? I can just as easily wait for you down here while you have a poke around.’

  Hannah glanced at Gina, who nodded. ‘I think that would be good, actually. You can take it all in better, can’t you, when you have time to look properly.’

  ‘Be my guest. I’ll wait here for you. Let me know if there’s anything you need.’

  Hannah and Gina wandered into the living room, Jess sloping after them.

  ‘Oooh, look at the fireplace!’ Gina cooed. ‘Inglenook. Gorgeous!’

  ‘Nice,’ Hannah agreed.

  ‘So we’re going to choose a new house on the basis of the fireplace?’ Jess asked.

  Gina ignored her. ‘Lovely cornicing too,’ she continued. ‘He’s kept all the period features… what a nice touch.’

  ‘He just said most of it was done before he got it,’ Jess cut in. ‘So he hasn’t done anything clever.’

  They walked on to a kitchen that was small but well-equipped, painted in a cheerful primrose with dainty net curtains at the window to maximise the light as well as maintain privacy.

  ‘You have to go down a step into the kitchen.’ Jess looked at Gina. ‘That’s a disaster waiting to happen.’

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘When you’re pissed carrying two bowls of spag bol… up the step you trip and smash your face in.’

  ‘You make it sound like I need rehab or something!’ Gina squeaked. ‘I’m not constantly drunk!’

  ‘Not constantly, no… just when you’re awake.’

  ‘Jess…’ Hannah began in a warning tone.

  ‘No…’ Gina cut in. ‘Leave it, Han. She’s in a mood because we’re even looking at this house.’

  ‘I don’t want to leave Birmingham,’ Jess said. ‘So, yeah, I’m in a mood. If you were being ripped away from all your friends and a place you loved you’d be in a mood too.’

  ‘We’ve been over this. Besides, it’s not like you’re moving to the other side of the world. It’s a two-hour journey. Before long you’ll be able to drive it whenever you like.’

  ‘I could live with Dad.’

  ‘No, you can’t. I don’t know where this has suddenly come from. Don’t forget the new woman will be there –’

  ‘I don’t have to talk to his slutty girlfriend… I can just keep out of the way when she’s there –’

  ‘Enough!’ Gina walked over to one of the kitchen cupboards and peered inside. ‘Nice units.’

  Hannah gave Jess a sympathetic look. She could understand how Jess was feeling, but she could also see why Gina wanted to come home. It was something they would resolve in time, but they were both so stubborn that things would be fractious until they did.

  ‘Let’s look at the back garden.’ A key already sat in the lock of the back door and Gina twisted it and stepped outside. ‘It’s a good size out here for a terraced house,’ she called in. ‘We could even do little barbecues in the summer.’

  ‘Great…’ Jess muttered. ‘I’ll be able to invite all my non-existent friends.’

  ‘It all seems horrible now,’ Hannah said, rubbing a soothing hand over Jess’s back, ‘but you’ll soon get used to things. Your mum and I did when our parents moved us from Scotland.’

  ‘You were little, though. It’s easy to make friends when you’re in primary school.’

  ‘I was painfully shy back then – I had to rely on your mum to make my friends for me. You’re fun and you’re smart and a lot less shy than I ever was… you’ll be surprised how quickly you get a new set of friends, and you’re not too far away to keep the old ones either… so you get the best of both worlds. Like your mum says, when you’re driving…’

  Jess was silent as she studied Hannah. Then she offered her a withering look. ‘Whatever…’ she muttered as she walked out into the back garden.

  Hannah let out a heavy sigh. She had hoped that Jess might be more receptive to her reasoning than to Gina’s, but it looked as though it was going to take more than Hannah’s encouragement to change her mind. As she wandered outside herself, Gina was peering into a compost bin at the bottom of the garden while Jess was standing, hunched into her coat pockets and glaring at her mother.

  ‘It’s a garden, Mum. It doesn’t really matter.’

  ‘Right then,’ Gina said brightly, ‘upstairs next. Is that more to your liking, Jess?’

  ‘It won’t make any difference what the bedroom looks like… as I have no plans to stay here.’

  ‘You’re wrong if you think your dad will take you,’ Gina said stiffly as she made her way into the house. ‘He’s got a good thing going on with his floozy and he doesn’t want a moody teenager pouring water on his fire.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Jess shot back. ‘That all depends on what I tell him about you.’ She folded her arms and waited for Gina to turn back and argue, but Gina simply continued on into the house.

  By the time they left, Gina was in love with the house. It helped that Chris had promised to hold it for as long as he could while her divorce settlement went through (she as
sured him it was imminent) and he had also given them a good price, though Hannah couldn’t help the burning shame that he was probably only being so generous because he thought that she was up for another date. All afternoon she had tussled with the problem of how to tell him that they weren’t, because he seemed to really like her and, perhaps, under different circumstances she would like him well enough at least to date him a few times and see where that led them. It wasn’t fair to string him along, but if she told him how things were now, Gina would probably lose all favours on the house.

  ‘Mitchell could probably find you a place,’ Hannah said as they sat with mugs of tea back at hers. Jess’s drink sat on the coffee table going cold, its owner out in the hallway on her phone, having practically vaulted over the back of the sofa to leave the room the moment it rang.

  ‘I thought his company was more into commercial properties?’

  ‘Well… yes… but I suppose he has contacts who have houses.’

  ‘You’d probably find Chris was one of them,’ Gina said, arching an eyebrow. ‘There can’t be that many property developers in these parts. Besides, I like that house.’

  ‘I knew it was a bad idea taking you to see it.’ Hannah reached for another chocolate biscuit.

  ‘You were being a good sister. I’d have done the same for you.’

  ‘Would you have dated someone just so I could get a house?’

  ‘You don’t have to. I’m sure he’d be a grownup about it.’

  ‘But I feel so bad.’

  ‘Alright, date him a couple of times and be completely hideous – he’ll soon dump you and you’ll be guilt free. Just put Mitchell off for a bit until it’s done.’

  ‘You have a strange and twisted logic,’ Hannah smiled.

  ‘While you, on the other hand, have lots of very sensible ideas… like letting a man with serious psychological issues into your bed.’

  ‘He’s not a whack job. He’s just got some memory problems.’

  ‘He’s also got baggage.’

  ‘Lots of people have baggage.’

  ‘Has he mentioned divorcing Martine?’

  ‘Well… not exactly… we sort of haven’t got that far.’

  ‘That’s what I mean: baggage.’ Gina drained her cup and handed it to Hannah.

  ‘Hmmmm,’ Hannah replied as she stood up. ‘Are you staying for something to eat before you head home?’

  ‘What’s on offer?’

  ‘I was thinking chips from that new place in Chapeldown.’

  Gina frowned. ‘Isn’t that where Mitchell and Martine live?’

  ‘Just Martine now,’ Hannah corrected.

  ‘What if you bump into her?’

  ‘I doubt she’s a chippy sort of girl. Unless deep fried caviar’s also on the menu.’

  ‘Okay, it’s a deal. I’m sure Jess won’t complain about a nice bag of chips either.’

  ‘Who’s she on the phone to, anyway?’ Hannah asked. ‘She’s been ages.’

  ‘The new beau I expect.’

  ‘Must be serious the way she leapt up when her phone went.’

  ‘I bloody well hope so. He can look out for her from time to time; take the heat off me.’

  ‘You don’t mean that…’ Hannah hovered at the door with the dirty mugs.

  ‘Don’t I? You don’t live with her.’

  ‘She’s not taking the move too well, is she?’

  ‘That’s one thing she’s making very obvious to anyone who will listen. She probably thought I wouldn’t go through with it when I first mentioned it, so now she’s realised it’s an actual plan she’s kicking off.’

  ‘She’ll come round.’

  ‘I hope so. I’ve tried enough bribes on her.’

  Hannah popped out to the kitchen. As she filled the sink with soapy water, she thought about Gina’s predicament. She felt sorry for her sister, but couldn’t see a way she could help – after all, she’d already tried talking to her niece and Jess had blanked her for her pains. Dumping the mugs in the water, she returned to the living room.

  ‘What are you going to do about Ross?’ she asked.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well,’ Hannah continued, ‘if Jess is that upset about the move, how is she going to feel about Ross being on the scene?’

  ‘Oh. I don’t suppose I need to do anything at the moment. One problem at a time, that’s what I say.’

  ‘You’ll have to do some sneaking around for a while then.’

  ‘It looks like it. But sneaking around isn’t so bad. We can pretend to be having a steamy, illicit affair and check into seedy hotels as Mr and Mrs Smith for debauched afternoon sex. It could be quite fun.’

  ‘Sounds good,’ Hannah smiled. ‘Maybe I’ll take a leaf out of your book.’

  ‘So you and Mitchell… you’re together now or what?’

  ‘We’ve been together, but I don’t know whether that means we are together. It’s not that simple, is it?’

  ‘Nothing ever is with you.’

  ‘You can hardly talk! You and Ross aren’t exactly a match made in heaven.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know… age is only a number, isn’t it? When I’m with him it feels pretty heavenly. It’s strange, but I feel more right with him than I’ve ever done with anyone my age – even Howard – and yet we’ve been together for such a short time.’

  ‘That’s what great sex does for you.’

  ‘It’s more than that.’

  ‘Really?’

  Gina nodded. ‘I know it’s all brand new and everything is always shiny at this stage, but sometimes, I do think I can see it lasting.’

  Hannah sat back in her seat and appraised her sister thoughtfully. ‘Wow… I never saw that coming.’

  ‘Me neither.’ Gina grinned. ‘It’s exciting though.’

  ‘Surprising is the word I’d use. If you do see it going the distance you’re going to have to tell Jess sooner rather than later. It’ll be far worse if you keep her in the dark – when it does eventually come out she’ll be furious.’

  ‘She doesn’t need to know about every man I date and I doubt she wants to.’

  ‘But we’re not talking about a few dates, are we?’

  ‘Han… with respect, you don’t have kids. Nothing is ever as black and white as you make out when kids are involved. I’ll choose my time and I’ll tell her but it won’t be just yet.’

  Hannah chewed her lip as she looked away.

  ‘Sorry…’ Gina said.

  Hannah turned back to her. ‘It’s okay. I shouldn’t be sticking my nose in. I know you can handle it and my advice is probably not what you need right now.’

  Gina was about to reply when Jess burst in, her expression thunderous.

  ‘Is this the Ross? Weirdo Tractor Ross?’

  Gina’s head swizzed round, a furious blush to her cheeks. ‘How long have you been earwigging? I thought you were on the phone in the other room.’

  ‘He got called away.’

  ‘So you thought you’d eavesdrop instead of coming back in?’

  ‘I couldn’t really help it, not when you were shouting!’

  ‘We weren’t shouting! You shouldn’t have been listening like that – it’s downright rude!’

  ‘That’s not the point!’ Jess cried. ‘How long would I have waited to find out you’re cradle snatching?’

  ‘As you have been listening, you’ll know that I didn’t think it mattered yet. And I hardly think it’s cradle snatching.’

  ‘Argh! It is; it’s disgusting!’

  ‘Jess…’ Hannah warned, sensing the fireworks coming.

  ‘Is he the reason we’re moving?’ Jess demanded, ignoring her aunt.

  ‘Of course not!’

  ‘I’ll bet he’s got something to do with it.’

  ‘Jess…’ Hannah pressed, ‘I can vouch for your mum; Ross is nothing to do with this decision.’

  ‘I suppose Ross…’ Jess crooked her fingers into speech marks, ‘will be moving in with us though. I bet
he can’t wait. Well, I’m never going to call him dad.’

  Hannah glanced at Gina. Dad was one thing Ross would definitely never be to Jess. Perhaps a fun uncle or a big brother was more like it.

  ‘Nobody will expect you to call him dad,’ Gina replied tartly. ‘Who on earth would want that dubious honour when the prize is a snarky little stepdaughter?’

  ‘It’s gross, I mean, he’s almost the same age as me –’

  Gina shot to her feet, her cheeks now blazing.

  ‘ENOUGH!’

  Jess clamped her mouth shut and stared at her mum.

  ‘That’s enough,’ Gina repeated. ‘Where’s the rule that says I don’t get a life after your dad? How come he gets to settle down with Miss Slapper and I get to be alone? How is that fair?’

  ‘The difference is, he’s not making me move to another town.’ Jess was trying hard to remain sullen, but Hannah could hear the guilt in her voice.

  ‘For the last time, it has nothing to do with Ross where we live. I’d already made that decision long before him – we talked about it, didn’t we?’

  ‘Yeah, but –’

  ‘But you didn’t think I meant it? Well, I did. You’d better get used to the idea.’

  Hannah stared from one to the other. Was the argument over? A standoff between her sister and her niece wasn’t her idea of a good night in.

  Jess folded her arms tight across her chest and pressed her lips together. Gina held her gaze. Then Jess flopped onto the sofa, glaring at the fireplace.

  ‘So… maybe I’ll go and get those chips now…’ Hannah said.

  Gina turned to her with a taut smile. ‘Sounds fine by me.’

  Hannah stepped out into the night and breathed in a lungful of frosty air. The orange of the sky deepened into indigo as it stretched towards the first stars. For once, she relished the cold, glad to be out of the stifling atmosphere still hanging in the air of her little house. She had seen Jess and Gina have arguments before, but never with such menace. She supposed it was bound to happen – Jess was becoming a young woman with firm ideas of what she wanted out of life, and she was increasingly unwilling to submit to Gina’s rule. Gina had been through the same phase herself, and Hannah supposed that she probably had too, though she didn’t recall being quite so belligerent. She was glad when they had both seemed content to let her go out for their tea alone. Perhaps they would talk things through while she was gone, or maybe they could tell that she wanted to get out of the way.