Lying Hearts

by Kelli Callahan

  “Damn right it didn’t,” my dad yelled from behind me. Of course he wouldn’t wander too far, the man was nosey. He wanted to know everything that was happening.

  “I didn’t know that,” I said because I told my parents not to tell me anything that dealt with Easton unless he died. They held to their promises. “Why were you looking for me?” I crossed my arms, clearly defensive.

  “I want to clear the air. I want to talk. You aren’t in any phonebook, or on social media, and I couldn’t even find your address. Can we have coffee or something? There’s a lot I want to say.” He scratched his head and cleared his throat again like he had something caught in it.

  Yeah, probably a tumbleweed full of damn lies.

  “No, Easton. Whatever you have to say can happen here. There won’t be coffee; there won’t be a next time. This is it. After this, we are nothing but each other’s pasts.” Even as I said the words, I hated how the sounded, how they tasted, how they felt, because even now, while looking at Easton, he had my heart.

  And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get it back, no matter how much I wanted to hate him.

  His face pinched with pain, brows drawn in a frown as he took a step towards me, but I jumped a step back. I didn’t want him near me. I wasn’t afraid he’d hurt me, but I was afraid if I felt his warmth, smelled his scent, touched his skin, I’d break.

  I’d give in.

  I’d be whatever he wanted me to be, and I didn’t want that for myself. I wanted more. I wasn’t his steppingstone, his mat to walk all over, some girl he could keep as a backup. I deserved better.

  “Don’t,” I whispered, holding up at hand. “Don’t come near me.”

  “Luna.” My name sounded broken on his tongue. I was hurting him.

  And it surprisingly didn’t feel as good as I thought it would.

  “Luna, I miss you. I miss our friendship. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, for what I said, for what I did, for how I treated you. It wasn’t right, and I felt horrible about it from the moment it happened.”

  I held my hand up to stop him from speaking. My eyes burned, and I stared up to the bright lights hanging from the ceiling to stop the tears. I refused to show him my tears. I cried enough for him, and he wasn’t going to get any more from me. “Stop, just…stop,” I said simply. “What you did was wrong. I will never understand why you did it, and the reason doesn’t matter. What matters is you decided to choose the reason over me. Years that rumor went on, years of people seeing that I wasn’t pregnant, so I obviously had an abortion, right? And not once did you say anything. Here’s the thing, Easton,” I sighed, biting back the urge to yell, but I had to remember we were in a public place. “I’m tired of being mad at you.” I finally brought my eyes to his, and I saw the hope flare back at me in that cerulean irises. No.

  There’s no hope here.

  The chance of hope with us died a long time ago.

  “I’m so tired of it, Easton. I loved you. I loved you so much.” I laid my hand on my heart, refusing to tell him that I still loved him. “And you threw that love away. Years of friendship trashed. And I’ve learned, love isn’t that ugly, you know? Love isn’t mean. Love doesn’t strike you down repeatedly. And that’s what you did for years, and I’ve found my way to my feet. I won’t let you do that to me again.”

  “Luna, please, I love—”

  “Don’t say it. Don’t. We know nothing about each other anymore. Love was something of the past, and for the future, there is not love here. Goodbye, Easton.” I turned around and let out a shaky breath. A tear fell, and I quickly wiped it away. The memories of us catapulted through my mind, and it made the decision to turn my back on him that much harder, but it had to be done.

  “No, Luna! Just wait—” His hand reached out and wrapped his fingers around my wrist, tugging me to a stop, and the touch was electric. The one thing I didn’t want to happen, happened. His fingers were rough, calloused, and teased the inner skin of my wrist, right where the vein pulsed, and my breath hitched. He was warm too. So damn warm that I imagined him wrapping his massive body around mine, bringing my back to his broad chest.

  Damn. Damn. Damn!

  “No, Easton. Let go of me.” I glanced at my dad, who was staring at me with concern, his black brows bushy and messy as they pinched together. I shook my head, telling him I could handle this, and Ethan looked at me like…

  Like he shouldn’t.

  “Easton, let go.” I tugged my arm free and started walking away, but not before Easton had the final word.

  “I didn’t let go then, and I’m not letting go now!” he shouted down the aisle, and his boisterous voice echoed throughout the entire stores, causing a few heads to turn.

  “We are leaving,” I told my dad as I rushed past him and Ethan.

  Ethan reached out and took my wrist just like his brother did, but it didn’t have the same effect. My skin didn’t warm; my body didn’t react like it did with Easton and the sad fact, I knew it wouldn’t. Not with Ethan, not with anyone. “We are leaving,” he said. “You two were here first. I have to take Easton to work.” He rubbed his thumb over the same spot Easton did, over my pulse, but it didn’t jump excitedly, it didn’t give me a rush. “I’ll text you,” he whispered. His eyes drift from me and land on his brother, narrowing in accusation. “We are leaving, Easton.”

  “I’m not going to let go, Luna,” Easton shouted again, and Ethan let go at the same time.

  “Dad, let’s walk around.” I looped my arm through his and swiftly walked down the aisle toward where the cashiers were.

  “I’m serious, Luna,” Easton called out again, and my face reddened when people stared at me.

  “You okay?” my dad asked.

  “I’m fine. I’m glad it’s over. It was bound to happen after so many years of being left unresolved.”

  “I’m not giving up on us!” Easton raised his voice again, and this time his voice was closer than it was before.

  Rage made me grit my teeth, and I spun on my heel to glare at him. “There isn’t an us, Easton. There was never an us, and there will never be an us! Let it go. Live with it. Deal with it,” I yelled in return, and he still didn’t look like he was giving up. I shook my head and decided to give up and started walking… somewhere in Lowe’s, that wasn’t near Easton. Dad was keeping up with me, and I remembered that I needed to slow down. I didn’t want to make him feel worse.

  “I won’t give up!”

  “Then you are a fool, Easton Moore!” I shouted at him, and a few women snickered and gave me silent claps. Great. This was going to be all around town by dinner time. Another rumor. I wondered what this one would be?

  “Shut up, Easton. Let’s go. She doesn’t want to talk to you. Go, let’s go!” Ethan shouted at his brother, and I knew by the sound of his voice that he was pushing him out the door.

  I knew when Easton was no longer in the building. I felt the buzzing in my body stop. He had this weird, unnatural effect on me that I’d never understand. I knew one thing; I could breathe easier.

  My Dad double-checked to make sure we were alone again, and he pushed me in the hardware aisle and cupped my face. “Are you okay?” His green eyes reflected my own. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes dark with purple and blue hues, but he wasn’t concentrating on himself. He never did. His focus was only ever on me.

  “I’m okay, Dad. I feel better, actually. I’m glad it’s over. I knew it would happen,” I repeated, and I still fought tears because how dare Easton corner me in Lowe’s. How dare he tell me that he loved me, and how dare he tell me he wouldn’t ever let go.

  He already let go. I finally just cut the rope.

  “I have a feeling that boy isn’t going to give up. He sounded pretty adamant.”

  “I don’t care. He’s done taking up my time.”

  “I’m proud of you for facing him. I know he hurt you, badly. I’ll never know everything, but people whisper, Star. I know a lot of things he did and said, but
you know more. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you.”

  “I know,” I said, leaning into his cold palm. “Enough of him, okay? He took up enough time, right? Let’s shop. I’m excited about this project.”

  “You’re still up for it? After that?”

  “If anything, I’m more determined than ever.”

  He gave me a big goofy grin and patted my shoulder. His brows moved and waved because they were so big and thick. He refused to cut them because he said mom liked them, but they looked like small hairy dogs to me. “Then let’s erase Zac from those walls. “

  I tilted my head back and laughed. “Yeah, he and I were so ten years ago.”

  Dad pretended to flip long hair over his shoulder and sassed, “Like so ten years ago, girl.”

  “Oh my god,” I busted out laughing and snorted. “Don’t ever do that again.”

  “As long as it gets you to smile like that, I won’t stop.”

  I laid my head on his shoulder as we explored a side of Lowe’s we didn’t need to. Dad was the only guy that had never disappointed me, but even as we stopped and stared at lights, fans, outlet covers, and paint, the only thing I could think about was Easton.

  And how much I still hated that I loved him.

  And how much my love hated him.

  Chapter Six

  Easton

  Well, that had not gone as planned.

  Not even a little bit.

  I had hoped she would fall back into my arms. Granted, I knew that would be more of a dream, but I hadn’t been ready for the blatant rejection, the sadness mixed with a little hatred, and the defeated, tired look on her face. I had a lot of making up to do with her, and it wasn’t going to be easy. She was determined for us to go on with our lives, but I refused to go on with my life without her. I had for too long now, and I was done living life without the person that was meant for me.

  She viewed me as her enemy.

  I viewed her as my one and only.

  How the hell was I going to fix this?

  “What the fuck was that?” Ethan sneered, pushing my shoulder so hard that I hit the truck with my body with a hard thud.

  “Fuck, dude. What? That hurt.” I rubbed my side, where it slammed against the fender of the truck.

  “You, talking to Luna. Why? Why would you do that to her? Why can’t you just let it go?”

  “Let it go?” My chest heaved, and with every breath I took, the air puffed out of my nose like an angry bull. I was ready to charge. “Because I fucked up. I need to fix things with her. I love her. I always have loved her.”

  “It’s a little too late. Leave her alone.”

  He sounded a little too upset. A little too protective. “Why? Got something you want to share? You moving in on my girl?”

  He grabbed onto the edge of the tailgate and bent his neck back as he laughed. It was an ironic laugh, one filled with a bit of disbelief and sarcasm. “You know, it’s funny that you think that. It’s funny that you think, after all this time, after all you did to her, that you think she’s your girl. No, I’m not moving in on Luna, but be ready for someone to because she isn’t yours. She was never yours; you proved that. I’m just protecting her from you like I always have, baby brother. It’s a job I find myself doing more than I should.” He climbed into the truck and tossed my bag at me. “You can walk to work.”

  “What? Ethan, come on, man. I’m trying to make things right with her.”

  “By telling her you love her? Are you insane? How about trying to get into her good graces first before you go throwing everything you wish you would have said at her? Man, I love you, I do, but you need to think. You have no idea what you really did to her, do you? She’s the girl everyone thinks lost her virginity to you, got pregnant, and dude, what people said was harsh. They called her baby killer, a sinner, that she would burn in hell, that she should kill herself for what she did. On and on the list goes. And guess what? Guess who was there for her while she cried? Guess who stopped her from actually killing herself?”

  Bile rose to my throat, and tears swam in my eyes at the thought of Luna not being in this world. I did that? I made her not want to live? I leaned against the truck and gripped the edge for dear life as I let out a guttural, painful roar. I couldn’t believe that I let it get that bad. Jesus Christ, what did I do?

  “Me. I was there, Easton. I was there through all of her pain in high school. You ruined her. The fact that she showed up to school every day while people bullied her to the ground, doused her with hate, and death threats, that took courage. You’d never understand her pain because you caused it, you didn’t live it, so don’t expect this road to be easy. You caused emotional, psychological scars on that beautiful heart of hers. I’m serious about you walking to work. I’m too pissed to even look at you.” He jumped off the bed of the truck and landed on the parking lot with a solid thud.

  I held my bag to my chest as he got into the truck and slammed the driver’s side door, then wasted no time pulling out of the parking lot, tires burning rubber on the asphalt. Smoke clouded my vision, and I coughed, then waved my hand in front of my face to clear it, but it didn’t work. The fumes made my eyes water. I took a step back to get away from the suffocating smell, and my eyes stayed glued to the Dodge screaming out of the parking lot.

  He really left me.

  Damn it; I felt like I constantly screwed up.

  I tossed my bag over my shoulder, exhaled, and got to walking out of the parking lot to get to the fire station. Luckily, it wasn’t that far, probably around a mile, or two, and since I had plenty of time to get there, I knew I wouldn’t be late.

  The mist of rain dropped lightly from the sky, like feathers drifting in a soft motion through the air. It cooled my face and coated my fleece jacket in small beads. I was thankful that it wasn’t pouring because making the hike to work would really suck soaking wet.

  As I put one foot in front of the other and made my way down the only main road in town, Ethan’s words pierced my mind over and over again.

  She almost killed herself.

  I brought my fist up and rubbed the ache in my chest. I hadn’t known it had gotten that bad. Sure, I heard people whispering to one another in the hallway, and every now and then, people would approach me about what really happened, and I always said the same thing.

  We fucked, she got pregnant and didn’t want to keep it.

  I slowly fed the lies, and people got the affirmation they needed to ruin her life.

  I just couldn’t believe I didn’t see what it was doing to her. Was I really that blind? Why didn’t I care more? Why didn’t I notice? I was selfish, conceited, a horrible teenage boy, and those aren’t excuses for what I did, but I was a man now. I regretted everything. I had grown as a person, and the person I was now didn’t want to accept the horrible thing I did in the past.

  Out of habit, I rubbed my hand over my mouth, something I tended to do when I was stressed. No matter how many scenarios I thought of to make things right with Luna, how the hell could I get her to truly forgive me when I drove her to the edge of darkness?

  That fucking hurt me so much, as it should.

  I still wouldn’t give up, even if I should, she was worth the effort, she always had been, and now I had to prove to her that I was worthy of her now.

  “Where are you going there, Easton?” a familiar voice called out, piercing through my daze as I walked.

  I glanced over at my fellow firefighter Vincent who was currently outside on a smoke break. He had a grin on his face as he wrapped his lips around the end of the cigarette.

  Shit. I had completely walked by the fire station and probably would have kept walking if Vincent hadn’t stopped me. Man, I needed to get my head on straight for this shift. I highly doubted that would happen.

  “Sorry, lost in thought,” I said, jogging over to the bay doors that were open, showing the shiny red fire trucks. I had always wanted to be a firefighter ever since I was a little kid. Something about those bi
g red trucks made me want to fight fires, and here I was, living my dream. It didn’t get better than that.

  “Does it have anything to do with Luna Nightingale being back in town?” he asked, flicking the butt of his cigarette on the wet ground, then he stomped it flat with his foot.

  Damn, I hated how fast word traveled in this town.

  “Or maybe the little incident at Lowe’s?” He had a teasing smirk tilting his lips.

  “How the hell do you already know about that?” I asked with annoyance, pushing by him to get inside the station. The thud of my boots resounded off the walls as I stomped through the area. A few guys turned to look at me, and I knew by the look in their eyes they wanted to give me shit too, but then they saw Vincent behind me and kept their mouths shut and continued playing cards.

  “Well, Sally, my ex, her best friend, Carey, works there, and Carey saw you declaring your love or some shit to Luna.”

  And of course the entire town knows now. “Yeah? So? What about it?” I tossed my bag on the bed and plopped down on it and held my head in my hands as I tried to calm down. “Can you just not with your shit today, Vincent?”

  “I don’t get it,” he said, propping himself up in the middle of the doorway by leaning against the trim with his shoulder. “You hated her in high school because she—”

  I stood up so fast I barely had time to think. I gripped the front of his shirt with both of my fists and shoved him across the hall until I slammed him against the wall and lifted him up so his toes were barely on the ground. “Let me tell you one thing, right now, and all of you assholes better listen up.” I leaned in and bared my teeth. “That never happened. I spread that rumor. She was never pregnant.”

  “Right,” he snorted. “Is that what she told you?”

  Would no one believe the truth? I lifted my arm back to slam into his jaw, but Thomas, one of the other firefighters, grabbed it just in time before I busted his face in two. “Don’t. Chief will suspend you if you do that.” I ripped my arm from Thomas and sneered at Vincent as I dropped him to the floor. His shirt was stretched from my hold and wrinkled. His face was red, and a few beads of sweat had gathered on his temple. He was nervous.