Gravity (Wilde Boys Book 1)

by Sara Cate

  He doesn’t let up as my hand lands against the tile of the shower, and my moans turn deep and feral. I’m so fucking close but this climax builds slowly evading me every time I think I’m about to reach it, and when I feel his cock line up at my entrance, pushing in slowly, I know he’s meeting me here in this pleasure.

  Keeping the showerhead on my clit, he fucks me until my mind is numb and my body is on fire. His thrusts pick up speed until we’re both close. With a simple press of the button under his thumb, he changes the steady shower stream to a quick pulse, and I cry out again.

  I come hard, my toes curling against the tile floor. I feel the way my pussy tightens around him, and he lets out a guttural roar too. Our cries mingle together in an echo across the bathroom walls in the longest orgasm I have ever experienced. It’s not until he pulls the shower head away that I can finally relax my seized muscles. I nearly collapse before he gathers me up in his arms and kills the turns the handle on the water.

  He wraps me in a giant, fluffy white towel and kisses my nose before taking me to bed.

  “Holy shit,” I whisper as my head hits the pillow. I catch a smile on his face as he crawls in behind me, his moist, hot nakedness pressed up against mine.

  Before I fall asleep, I turn to face Alistair, our noses touching in the darkness. I run my hands through his wet hair and kiss his lips.

  I want him to have the same piece of me I gave to Nash, so before he can drift off, I move my lips against his, speaking so quietly I know he can feel it more than he can hear it.

  “I love you.”

  His hand around my waist tightens as he pulls me closer. In the moonlit room, I can see his eyes, and their intensity never fades. His fingers stroke my cheek as he kisses me again, then his mouth moves to my ear so I can hear him clearly as he whispers the words back to me each one slow and punctuated to show he means them.

  “I love you, Zara.”

  Chills erupt down my spine as his voice seeps into my body. He knows how scared I was of love, and he won’t let me hide from it anymore.

  It may have only been one month on the island so far, but the thought of my life without him suddenly feels terrible to imagine. And the only reason I even think that is because in the back of my mind, I’m afraid that Alistair will be the first one to bail on this plan when things get tough. Why? Because his son is involved, and I’ve seen the guilt he carries for surviving Preston. Alistair won’t hesitate to sacrifice his happiness for his son’s.

  Maybe he will get comfortable with this and stick around forever. Maybe this will be our new normal and I won’t have anything to worry about. For now, I’ll take it day by day, drifting off to sleep in his arms because I’m not falling in my dreams anymore. I’ve already landed.

  30

  “I just wish he’d go to that conference,” Alistair says as we make our way across the yard toward the house. He wanted to take me up for an early morning ride before he goes to the city today for business.

  It’s been two weeks since we got back to Del Rey, and maybe it’s that Christmas is only a couple weeks away, but things are mostly calm.

  Still, there’s something ominous lurking beneath the surface. I can feel it.

  Every other night I sleep in Nash’s bed, and everyone is fine with it. We all sit at dinner together every evening, like a real family.

  But this morning, Alistair brought up the conference in Hamburg again, and Nash was quick to turn it down this time. I could feel his dad’s frustration. He carried it with him all through our lesson.

  “Alistair,” I say, reaching for him before we get to the door. “He’s making progress. I see that old Nash, and I know you see it too. He needs more time.”

  Gently, I wrap myself around his waist and nestle my body against his. His arms envelope me in return. “It feels like he’s throwing away his future just out of spite.”

  “Why would he do that?” I ask, my face pressed against his chest.

  “Because he hates me.”

  “No, he doesn’t. He’s trying to find his place in a world without his brother. I know the pain of that.”

  His shoulders slump and his lips rest against my forehead. “I pushed him too hard. Is this even what he really wants to do anymore?”

  “I’ll talk to him,” I promise as I look up at him, letting his lips land against mine. The air is cold, but his mouth is warm, and I want to get lost in this moment.

  “I wish I could get two nights in a row,” he mumbles.

  “Don’t do that. Don’t ruin this already,” I reply, pulling away. “If you don’t want to piss your son off, then don’t take his night. Besides...no one is getting any this week.”

  “Small blessings,” he says as he opens the door. “Take it easy today. Go sit in the hot tub. Have Astrid make your favorite dinner.”

  “I’m not dying, Alistair. It happens every month. I think I’ll be fine.” I laugh as he follows me to the kitchen.

  “Good, don’t die because I have another surprise for you tomorrow.”

  My ears perk up. I’m already a big fan of Alistair’s surprises, but right now I don't know if I can handle the unknown. “What is it?”

  He smiles as he pours himself a cup of coffee. “Well, I didn’t want to tell you, but I figure it might be important to prepare you. We’re having guests for dinner tomorrow night.”

  My eyes light up. “Who?”

  “Hanna Thurber and her boyfriend.”

  I freeze, my face falling. “Alistair.”

  I honestly don't know if I’m angry or if I should be grateful. Suddenly, I know exactly how Nash feels. Alistair is constantly trying to push us toward these things he knows we should be spending more time on. For me, dance. Nash, his career.

  “That was sweet of you, but I really hate to bother her.”

  “I invited her for a helicopter ride to my private island mansion for a meal prepared by a professional chef. How put-out would you feel?”

  I can’t help the laugh that comes out. “Good point.”

  “I feel bad you’re out here without any company of your own. Plus I think she might be a good influence on you.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” I mumble into my coffee and he snaps his head in my direction.

  I wait quietly for his reaction to see if he’s going to be legit offended or find it funny, but he just bites his lip and stalks toward me slowly, pinning me against the counter. Putting his hands on either side of me on the counter, he leans his face down to my ear. “If we’re going to play that game, get it right. It’s Daddy to you.”

  As he says it, he grinds his hips against mine, and I nearly crumble to the floor. Then he turns away and silently leaves me standing there like a pile of ash ready to blow away.

  Alistair is gone for the rest of the day, and I find myself thinking a lot about having Hanna over and what he said about me not having anyone out here. I don’t feel isolated. I mean, a couple times a week Nash takes me to the mainland for shopping or to see a movie, but it’s always just us. People still snap pictures of us, and for the most part, I’ve gotten used to it. Being Nash’s girlfriend in public seems like I’m cheating on Alistair. I know it’s not, but I often think about that night with him at the ballet, how natural it felt to be on his arm. The pride I felt when people saw us together and not just because of his money but because of the way it felt to be Alistair’s girl.

  Nash and I eat leftover Pad Thai for dinner on the couch while watching Christmas movies. He’s absorbed in his phone during It’s a Wonderful Life, so he puts on Elf afterward. Once our food is gone, I stretch out on the plush leather sofa with my head in his lap.

  “What do you want for Christmas?” I ask.

  “You’re going to buy me a Christmas present?”

  “Of course I am.” I look up at him. “Aren’t you going to buy me something?”

  There’s a coy smile playing on his lips. “We don’t really do presents,” he replies, and my mouth falls open.

  “That�
��s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “Well, we used to…” he says, his face pinching up at the brow to hide the sadness like Nash always does when forced to bring up the accident.

  “We are now,” I reply, running my hand along his arm. “We’re waking up on Christmas morning, and we’re exchanging presents like a normal family.”

  “We are anything but a normal family,” he says, his face relaxing.

  Just then, Alistair’s footsteps approach the living room from the kitchen. He doesn’t say anything, but I can see the stress on his face. I can only imagine what he has to deal with at work on a daily basis, but Alistair is always great about hiding it. His office might be right down the hall, but when he’s in there it’s like he’s a million miles away.

  “Come watch with us,” I say, moving my feet aside so he can sit down. He glances at Nash for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh and walking over to take the empty spot on the couch. His feet land with a thud on the upholstered ottoman. Setting down the scotch on ice on the side table, he reclines back against the sofa.

  After a few moments, I stretch my legs so my feet are resting on his lap. He takes in the fuzzy purple socks on my feet and smiles.

  “Want me to turn on the fireplace?”

  “Nope. I love my socks. Don’t make fun of them.”

  “I’m not.” Then he starts to rub my feet as we all laugh in unison at Will Ferrell getting hit by a taxi to the tune of a Christmas song.

  Nash strokes my hair while Alistair’s hand runs circles along my legs. It’s not uncomfortable or weird, all of us being together like this. It’s perfect.

  But that nagging question in the back of my mind won’t let me go. How far could this go? What if Alistair’s hands traveled up and Nash’s traveled down? Which one would pull back first? Or would they pull back at all? The thought of both of them taking a piece of me at the same time makes my thighs clench. Too far, Zara, you sicko.

  “What do you want for Christmas?” I ask Alistair, forcing out the thoughts in my head.

  He looks confused for a moment. “What could I possibly need?”

  “I didn’t ask what you need. I asked what you want.”

  “Apparently we’re doing Christmas morning like a normal family,” Nash adds.

  Alistair laughs, but then he squeezes my foot. “What Zara wants, Zara gets.”

  Ha. If you only knew.

  “Well, if neither of you tell me what you want, I’ll just have to guess,” I say before letting out a yawn.

  The three of us relax back into the couch, lost in the movie. I notice Alistair mess with something on his phone just before the fireplace in the corner flickers on. The room grows warm, and before I know it, I’m drifting off to sleep.

  31

  “I need to talk to you,” I say to Nash after abruptly tearing one of his earbuds out of his ears. He gives me a scowl as he puts the barbell back on the rack.

  “What the hell?”

  “We’re having friends over tonight.”

  “So?” he asks, toweling off his brow. There’s a sheen of sweat on his bare chest, and I almost forget why I came down here. I’m still on my period, but I could still have some fun with this body of his.

  “So, they’re mine and Alistair’s friends.”

  Nash rolls his eyes. “People have seen us all over town together. The entire world knows you’re with me.”

  “I know, but this couple thinks Alistair and I are together, so just…”

  “Don’t act like your boyfriend tonight?”

  “Please.” I can’t help but bite my lip. Alistair takes the whole sharing thing better than Nash. Nash is territorial. It’s like an unspoken rule around the house. He’s allowed to grope me and touch me in front of his dad, but not the other way around. As if he’ll let me sleep with his dad as long as I don’t rub it in his face, and having friends over definitely feels like rubbing it in his face.

  “So, tonight you will be my dad’s girlfriend?”

  I knock him with my knee, which he quickly grabs and pulls, bringing me closer to his body. Sitting on the bench, he hoists me onto his lap and kisses my neck.

  “Let’s not make it weird, okay?”

  “Oh, it’s definitely weird,” he answers with a laugh.

  Then, I press my lips to his, hoping it will help to settle my worries. I don’t even know why I feel so uneasy, but I’m hoping it passes soon.

  That night, Alistair and I decide to go together to pick up Hanna and her boyfriend in the larger helicopter with the four seats instead of two. As soon as we climb in, I notice all the space this one provides compared to the other.

  “Why didn’t we do our lessons in this one? So much more room.”

  He answers with a smile as he squeezes my knee. Then, he leans over to kiss me, and I hear his voice through the comm set. “Rest assured, baby. I’m fucking you in this helicopter at some point.”

  Heat pulses in my belly. I want Alistair to fuck me in every helicopter we can get our hands on.

  Once our guests join us in the aircraft, I revel in their expressions as we take flight. I’ve gotten so used to this I almost forget it’s so exhilarating to other people. Then, my gaze lands on Alistair in the pilot seat, and I find it hard to tear my eyes away. There’s a gentle crinkle in his eyes, and a looseness to his shoulders. He almost looks happy, and I can’t help but think of that night at the theatre when he confessed to me that he didn’t think he deserved happiness anymore. I’ve never wanted to make someone happier than I have since that night.

  I catch Hanna staring at me before I turn back around.

  At dinner, we settle into easy conversation. Alistair keeps his hand on my back all night, making me feel comfortable and safe. Nash joins us for dinner, but he stays mostly silent. The guys talk about business for a while when Hanna leans over toward me.

  “I have to admit something to you,” she says with a sly smile. I start to panic a little wondering what on earth she’s about to say. “I’ve seen you dance.”

  My mouth hangs open as I stare at her. Across the table, I can feel Nash watching us. I don’t know if she means she saw me dance at the club or on some shoddy phone recording of me at the club, but either way, my skin is on fire.

  I’m not ashamed of being a dancer, but it pales in comparison to the prima ballerina sitting at our table.

  “It took some digging, but I found footage of you at a performance. You have such a vibrancy to your dancing that makes me jealous.”

  Again, I’m speechless. She’s not talking about my strip club dancing, but she saw my ballet performances from college...and she liked them?

  “I...um…”

  “I’m sorry to stalk you a little, but I think you are so talented, and I have a friend in the city who is running a free ballet camp for girls and you would be such an amazing mentor for them.”

  The conversation around the table hushes, and I feel Alistair and Nash both staring at me.

  “Oh, I can’t be a mentor. I haven’t danced in years.”

  “You would be great at that, baby,” Alistair says, and I notice the way Nash’s eyes dart over to his dad when he hears him call me baby.

  “He’s right,” he adds flatly.

  “Please consider it. I know you would be such an asset for them.” Hanna places a hand on my arm and sends me a warm smile when I finally nod and answer.

  “Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

  Alistair hugs me a little tighter, and Nash glares at me from across the table. Even though we’re outside under a sky full of stars and not a city in sight, I feel as if the walls are closing in on me, and I can hardly breathe.

  Nash and Alistair, and this internship and all of these secrets and the weight of my decision I thought I didn’t have to make start to feel like they’re falling directly on my shoulders. Quickly, I stand up, and everyone looks at me.

  “Hanna, would you like to go for a walk with me?”

  “Of course,” she r
eplies, and we each grab our wine glasses and leave the men at the table. I’m ignoring Alistair’s concern and Nash’s judgment as I walk away.

  “I didn’t mean to spring that on you and make you uncomfortable,” she says once we get out of earshot.

  “I’m fine, it’s just—” I take a large gulp of my wine, trying to find the right words. “I just haven’t thought about dancing in a long time. I sort of wrote it off a long time ago.”

  “An injury?”

  “No, I just...quit. I thought I was okay with it, but then Alistair took me to the ballet, and everything came flooding back, and I realized how much I’ve missed it. But what if I missed my chance? What if it’s too late?” It must be the wine that has my lips so loose to be spouting off all of this.

  “It’s never too late,” she says. “You can mentor those girls, and I think it will give you the peace you’ve been missing. It’s pretty obvious your boyfriends want you to do it.”

  I don’t know if I heard her wrong or what, but my head snaps toward her. She definitely said boyfriends.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t tell…” Her sweet voice paired with that smile makes me want to crawl into a hole and ignore this whole conversation. “But it’s very clear they both care about you a lot. So, who cares what people think? And consider yourself lucky.”

  A huff leaves my chest. Lucky? I did consider myself lucky, but now I’m pretty sure I’m in way over my head, and I’m at risk of losing them both.

  That night after we say goodbye to Hanna and her boyfriend, I let Alistair take them back home alone, and I escape to my guest house for the first time in a month. I just need to be alone for a minute to think. Nash doesn't bother me, so maybe it was obvious.

  All night I toss and turn, running over the situation in my head. I love having both of them but the casual ease of being with two men is wearing off, and I know my heart won’t let me pretend it’s so easy anymore. This deal has an expiration date, and I know it’s approaching.