Saturday Night Séance

by S.J. Drew

help us load up and unload. That's so nice."

  "You told him not to, right?" Nora asked.

  "Of course I did, but he's um, going to be here in half an hour. I tried, I really did, but he was really insistent. He actually tried to call Leah first. I guess she turned off her ringer."

  "Well, great, then we've got less than half an hour to wake her up," Nora sighed.

  "Maryann, deal your cards," Isabella ordered.

  Leah opened her eyes and sat up. She blinked several times.

  "Huh," she finally said.

  She was wearing what looked like her stage costume from the last show the band performed around AwesomeCon. It was inspired by Victorian fashions and steampunk and incorporated a black fedora-type hat, black trench coat, heavy boots, and a ruffled white button-up shirt. She was in a very large cavern. Light came from metal torches and sconces affixed to the walls and stalactites and stalagmites. There was no obvious exit, but the torches' illumination was feeble compared to the size of the cavern. She also realized she was sitting on a hill of coins. Everything she could see was covered with glinting, gleaming, shining, sparkling treasure. As her eyes got used to the light, she could see gems, jewelry, armor, and other objects buried amongst the coins.

  "Oh, no," she thought. She felt an odd cold sensation on her right hand and took off the glove. She could faintly see Japanese kanji glowing on it. "Ah, this is some kind of out-of-body experience," she thought. "And Isabella is protecting me. That's good." She looked around again. "I just know there's a dragon here somewhere," she thought. "I can't be a in treasure horde like this and be lucky enough that it's not guarded."

  All the same, she stood up and carefully tried to make her way across the treasure chamber hoping to find some sign of an exit or at least the floor. Walking on the coins wasn't easy and she slipped more than she walked.

  "I just hope I don't die in a goldslide. That's how Scrooge McDuck would want to go out, but not me," she thought.

  Leah didn't think of stealing any of the gold or gems. She'd read too many stories and played too many games which involved cursed treasure. She also didn't want to anger the guardian, if there was one. Still, she did look at the massive horde. At first she thought it was just generic treasure, but then she saw things she thought she recognized.

  She saw a longsword stuck in a short stalagmite and thought, "Is that supposed to be Excalibur?" Then she saw a spear so long it could only be wielded by a giant mounted to one of the rocky columns. She stumbled over a glowing bauble that revealed itself to be a glowing cube.

  "Is this from a comic book?" she thought, confused, knowing only one reference to glowing cubes of power. As she slid down a hill, she was certain she saw half of a distinctive round, red, white and blue shield sticking out of the pile. The column she landed next to had a shield with a phoenix motif on it, which made her think of a cartoon her oldest brother Miguel had liked when he was young and she had seen in reruns.

  "This is too weird," she thought, now wondering if all the items in the room had some significance and she just didn't know what it was. It took all her willpower to not touch anything or go examine the items she thought she recognized.

  "Huh," said a deep, bell-like voice. The sound echoed in the cavern.

  Leah ducked behind a stalactite that had a long, key-shaped staff topped with a giant garnet mounted to it and looked around for the source of the voice.

  A hundred-foot long Western dragon dropped from the ceiling and landed lightly on the pile of treasure. Its skin looked as though it was made of diamond and the dim torchlight caused rainbow patterns to scintillate across the scales. It briefly stretched out its bat-like wings and then folded them next to its giant body.

  She immediately thought of the categories of dragons in role-playing games but this didn't fit any of them. It was obviously some kind of gem dragon, which were supposed to be neutrally-aligned, but she wasn't going to trust to that.

  "I know you're here, human," it said in its bell-like tone.

  She gulped, crossed herself, and walked into view. "Hi," she squeaked, accidentally kicking an old, Middle Eastern-style oil lamp.

  It brought its head down to her. Its large eyes were the color of gold. "You are not interested in any of my horde?"

  "Nope."

  "That's not true."

  "Okay, yes, but I'm not going to take any of it, I promise, not a thing."

  "Really? Why would a human come here if she was not interested in taking something from the horde? And where is your adventuring party, cleric?"

  "I don't have a party. I'm not a cleric. I didn't come here. I was sent here."

  The huge eyes blinked. "That should not be possible."

  "These days, I don't make a lot of assumptions about what should be possible. If I did, I'd almost always be wrong."

  The dragon laughed a bit. "Well, I believe you are telling the truth, cleric."

  "I'm not a cleric."

  "You aren't? But you cast a bless spell and you wear a holy symbol around your neck," the dragon countered. "I don't recognize the deity you worship, but I do recognize such magic."

  "Um, okay, then I guess I am," she said, thinking, "I'm not arguing with a giant monster."

  "But I guard my horde and I am surprised someone was sent here. Such a thing is a good way to lose one's horde."

  "I'm surprised to be here too. I'm not, Ma-um, Anna," she said, stopping herself from using Maryann's real name.

  "You have a friend that often finds herself in dragon hordes?" it asked, raising a brow ridge.

  "She gets into trouble a lot. She's really a classic damsel in distress."

  "And you are not?"

  "Well, I don't like to think so. She doesn't either, but she's usually the one being rescued."

  "So what is your name, human?" the dragon asked.

  "Lee. What's yours?"

  It sort of laughed again. "You may call me whatever you like."

  "How about Arken?" In fact, she was wondering if the gem she was naming the dragon after might actually be in this fantastic horde.

  "That will be sufficient. Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, we need to focus on the problem at hand, which is you in my treasure horde."

  "Tell me where the exit is and I'll go."

  "That's part of the problem. There isn't an exit, as such."

  "Well, how do you get out?" asked Leah.

  "Why do you assume I would need to use the same passage as one such as yourself?" it asked, blinking its deep golden eyes.

  "Um, I just assumed you'd have to use a door."

  It blinked again. "Not as such. In any event, I would not wish to leave my realm unguarded. Such a treasure must never be left unguarded."

  "Realm? How big is this place?"

  "As large as you think and probably larger," Arken replied. "I am curious; why have you not taken anything? That is the purpose of finding treasure, is it not? To take it for yourself."

  "I, um, figured it was guarded," Leah said. "I'm not going to take stuff that doesn't belong to me."

  "You are the most unusual adventurer who has ended up in my realm in a very long time. If you were truly sent here, then perhaps this was not a friend after all?"

  "Hell no! I have a show in two hours, and I still haven't changed out of my con costume. Friends do not screw up my show!" she replied angrily.

  "Show? That sounds like a bardic endeavour, not a clerical one," the dragon said.

  "Oh, I guess I'm kind of a cross-class bard/cleric if you want to look at it that way. I'm in a band."

  "With this Anna?"

  "Yes, and Belle and Lenore."

  "So you do have a party," the dragon chuckled.

  "Well, I never thought about it like that," Leah said. "But I didn't come here looking for anything. I just want to get home."

  Maryann pulled out her favorite tarot deck and performed a simple divination to try to
help figure out what had happened to Leah. She used the usual three card spread. "Who is this about?" she asked. The queen of pentacles was the answer.

  "We know that," Nora said impatiently, periodically checking Leah's pulse.

  "I have to make sure nothing is interfering with my magic," Maryann replied equally impatiently. "Next, what has happened to Leah?" The next card was an upside-down ace of pentacles. "Um."

  "That sounds not helpful," Nora said.

  "Well, maybe it'll make sense in context," she said. "Who is responsible?" The final card was an upside-down hermit card.

  Isabella sighed. "I'm going to hazard a guess and say that is the GM we met last time. Or some other dark magic-user type."

  "You're sounding like Leah," Nora said. "Like some kind of game."

  Isabella shrugged. "The GM trapped you in a game. Leah is in um, what, a bank? I don't even begin to know what that means."

  "Maybe we're taking it too literally," Maryann replied.

  "Your divinations tend to be kind of literal," the blonde countered.

  "Can we break the spell?" Nora answered. "I don't care if creepy GM did this or someone else. Can you two break this spell?"

  "We'll try," she said. "That's all we can do."

  "And figure out what the hell to say to Alejandro if he finds his sister like this," Nora muttered.

  "So, Arken, how does one normally get to your realm?" Leah asked.

  "Adventurers find their way here. Usually they must seek scrolls of forbidden or lost knowledge to even learn this place exists, at least as more than just a legend. Then they must continue to quest for the location of portals or spells to bring them here, and often they must find items of power for such portals