“Maybe you shouldn’t use the steel,” he mumbled as he went.
“Move faster,” she told him. That was the lesson here. And keeping those cuts clean, even the small ones. She knew he could do it.
She charged Rainev and he did much better; his shield and gladius use was expert. He was faster, just like her, and smart. That much she had already known. He had been holding back as well, goofing off with Matesh. Now she was seeing that he was efficient as well as tactical.
When he got a sharp hit on her ribs, she raised her hands, lifting her blades to show she was accepting that she messed up.
Now people were watching carefully.
Good. Watch us. Realize we’re better and back off. I not only have training partners, but they can land a hit on me, something only a very few of you have ever done out of desperation.
“The shield helps,” he said, holding it up. “Why do you go with no real defensive options?”
“It gives me fewer options in killing the other person.”
I’m a simple slave with simple wants, like any slave an Elvasi could want. She wanted to snort at her own somewhat humorous comment to herself.
“Well…good point,” he conceded.
They continued until she got one slice on him, then he stepped out. Matesh replaced him and they continued their previous fight. When he got a solid thwack on her back with his heavy wooden longsword, it was her turn to step out.
That actually fucking hurt.
She was impressed with them. Damn, she had gotten lucky. They weren’t children playing a game, or old assholes looking to use her and abuse her like the others tended to be. As time moved on, the older ones were dying out, leaving more post-War Andinna, the children playing games, to fill their spots. Most of them started off indifferent to her, until the general mood twisted them. Or they were jumped for showing her a shred of kindness, then blamed her for it.
She hoped one day the cycle would break. Maybe having allies would change that. I hope they don’t get scared off by the others.
As the end of training bell rang, signaling lunch, something crept into her chest. Something warm and…
Hope. She recognized it as hope.
Oh, that’s not fucking good.
That scared the shit out of her. There was no hope to be had. Sure, she had two new strong allies, it seemed, but it wasn’t like they were going to get out of the hellhole that the pits were. She knew. She’d tried everything. She still wished it could end, but she didn’t have any hope that it could.
She practically inhaled her meal then got up, making both of them look up at her. “We’re allowed to leave the chow hall during meals when we’re done. It’s nothing to worry about,” she explained. She was still feeling rattled by this, this fast change in her system of being alone. She wasn’t being given much of a chance to know if this was going to work or not. “Finish up. I’m going to show you my space. We have the time.”
“Okay,” Rainev said immediately, shoveling the slop into his mouth. Matesh did the same without a word. She liked that they both just agreed instantly.
She led them out of the chow hall and towards the quarters she was placed in. She flagged the guard to open the one door protecting the private rooms from the rest of the gladiators. The guard stationed there was always a little nicer than most, and he had a clear view down the hall to see all the doors for the private rooms. He would know if anyone down there was up to any business they shouldn’t be.
“Should I let these two in to see you after this?” he asked. “Never seen you with two before, Champion.”
“They belong to the Empress as well, and yes. They can come visit me until I say otherwise,” she told him. Privileges of being a gladiator with a private room were extensive, but until now she hadn’t been able to use most of them. Now she could, and it felt oddly good.
He looked them over more then nodded. “Good to know. I bet they will have rooms here soon enough.”
She didn’t respond to that, only continued to lead the males to her private space, the tiny suite. Two whole rooms that were hers and hers alone.
When they got inside, she watched Matesh move straight to her cot and sit down. Then he lay down.
Isn’t that a sight? Why is he so blasted good-looking?
“This is much more comfortable than mine,” he said. “Think I can stay?”
“No one stays the night in my room.” She looked down at him and bared her teeth. “And if you want to stay in that cot for any amount of time, you won’t be sleeping.”
“Are you propositioning?” he asked with that arrogant smirk. He made no move to leave her sleeping spot.
Yes. No. Maybe. I wish. It’s stupid. I really shouldn’t. Not if I want to keep them as safe allies.
What is wrong with me? “No.” She looked away from him. She brought them here and now didn’t know what to do with them. “So, here’s where I am. If you need me.”
“Are we allowed to stay the night here?” the mutt asked. “For safety, not…We’re seriously worried about being jumped in our current room.”
“Yes, but…” She looked him over, then shook her head. “I absolutely don’t trust you enough for that, and it’ll lead to rumors of having relationships we shouldn’t be having if it happens often. Quick liaisons? Fine. Long-term? No.” Her eyes fell on Matesh as she said it.
And a quick liaison with an ally wouldn’t stay quick. Exposed to the person every day - it would drive me mad. I would only want more. I almost wish he wasn’t also owned by her, not in a group with me. What do I want more? A quick fuck or an ally?
“We’ve heard that,” Matesh told her. “So, have you ever let someone stay the night?”
“No.” She clasped her hands together and looked back at the male on her bed. He was a fine sight and it annoyed the shit out of her. “Get off.” Matesh didn’t move, so she reached to grab him.
When Rainev held up his hands to stop her, he smartly didn’t touch her. She hated being touched without permission. “He didn’t sleep last night. He stayed up so I could sleep. Tonight I’ll be doing it so he can sleep.”
“You can sleep anywhere. Find a room where no one else sleeps to feel safer. The lenasti and guards aren’t that strict. They tried once to force people to sleep in designated groups and areas. People started feeling cooped up, unable to move around between the rooms to sleep in new areas. Fights were breaking out over the hot tempers. It was a rough time.” She felt like she was reciting ancient history now. That time had been right as she arrived, right after she’d been thrown down here in punishment then never let out.
“So if we found a smaller room, we can move cots to it?” Rainev went from somber to excited. She nodded.
“There are a few spaces I used a long time ago. They didn’t have doors, but they were secretive, a little hidden. The guards know but the other warriors tend to want to stay in their bigger groups. Safer for them.”
“How long have you had this room?”
“Enough about me,” she said quickly. “Can either of you do the tatua?”
“What?” Rainev coughed out. “That’s what you wanted to ask about?”
“I have nothing else to talk about,” she replied, shifting awkwardly. She shouldn’t have said anything. She normally kept all of those sorts of wants in her head so she didn’t get ridiculed or targeted for having some sort of weakness. “Seriously. Can you?”
“I have some training, but not all of it,” Matesh answered. “And I don’t have the supplies to give you a placeholder.”
“You’re a Blackblood?” Her heart thumped wildly. She had never met one who admitted it. Most Andinna down in the pits never even mentioned the Andinna blood magic, since it couldn’t be used. Damn collars.
“I am. So is Rain.” He sat up and waved a hand towards her. “You are too, if I remember correctly.”
“I am,” she admitted. “I am completely untrained, but I know what I am.”
“Sorry for treating you l
ike an idiot, then,” Rainev said, sitting down next to Matesh. She now looked at both of them as she stood awkwardly in her own room.
“Someone here must have the supplies,” she said, tapping her chin. She didn’t care about Rainev’s assumptions about her education anymore. It hadn’t changed anything for her. “They have new ones all the time, new tatua.” She could have them identify it and then what? Steal them?
What am I thinking? Am I stupid?
She lived for so long by not getting involved like that with the others. She couldn’t go causing trouble by stealing their contraband. They could sell her out if they knew it was her who did the thieving, and they would know since she would have her own tatua.
“Mave, it’s not that big of a deal.”
It is to me.
“Never mind,” she said softly. She was getting worked up over the idea of new things. She couldn’t let that happen. She needed to remain rational and remember how wrong things could go. “Did the Empress speak to you yesterday?”
“She did. Said she was going to let the pits wear us down before she even considered torturing us for information.”
“That’s right. You’re members of the mythical Ivory Shadow Mercenary Company.” She had forgotten that revelation from the day before. It brought a question to her mind. “What’s it like being free?”
“Free. No one tells us where to sleep, who to fuck or kill.” Rainev chuckled. “Well, we’re told who to kill by our leader, Luykas, but that’s different; he’s family and he pays well. We’re out there pissing off the Empire every day and making money doing it.”
“We’re not rebels, though, so don’t get that in your head,” Matesh cut in. He was harsh and cold for a moment as he spoke. “We’re just out to make money and help those who are free. We’re not trying to overthrow the Empire and free fucking everyone. There’s no way.”
“I didn’t think you were,” she said, raising her hands. She didn’t think anyone was coming to save her or the other slaves in Elliar. If they were, they would have already come. She went back to the original point, though, deciding that freedom may not have been the best topic. “She won’t torture you for a few years then. She wants this to wear you down so she only has to torture you once.”
“You sure?” the mutt asked.
“Positive. She’s a cunning bitch.”
“Well, that gives us time,” Matesh mumbled.
“Don’t…think about escaping and if you are, you can plot that shit somewhere else. I’m not getting my wings torn off.”
“What?” he growled. “Torn off?”
“To make it over the walls of the city, you have to be able to fly. If they catch you trying to escape, they amputate your wings. Then they keep you alive for as long as possible to make it worse. Broken. Never flying again.”
A fate worse than death.
“Fuck. Why is Elliar so much worse than everywhere else?” She watched the mutt run a hand through his hair, considering what she was saying to them.
“Is it?” She had no idea. It was all she knew.
“You don’t understand. This stuff? We thought they were rumors. No other place in the Empire does this kind of shit.” Matesh leaned back until he was propped against the wall. His wings looked uncomfortable to her. “Wings ripped off. Sold to be whores after fighting in the fucking Colosseum. Doesn’t happen in other places…Well, some of it happens, like the fighting and whoring, but it's not so…prevalent. It’s not a huge part of the culture. It’s not flaunted.”
“I once nearly had mine removed,” she told them. “It’s how I know. The Empress, instead of going through with it, decided to show me how everyone else was without their own.”
“You tried to escape?”
“Once. Made it to the walls with several other gladiators. I had orchestrated it, to try and save a few of us. Got my wings unbound. Then…” she trailed off. She didn’t know how to fly. She never had gone to the skies. Her wings were too weak for it. She’d been unable to lift off, flapping the damn things as best she could until they hurt, as cramps made her back spasm. Until she couldn’t even move, she tried.
Then she’d been caught, along with all the other gladiators who had tried to break out with her that night. She’d only been one hundred and three. Only five short years after she was thrown into the pits to be a gladiator.
When she’d been tossed back into the pits, still with her wings, they had thought she had planned to get other gladiators killed. They blamed her for the dozen gladiators who were wingless and dying. It had been a hard lesson for her. An attempt to do something good for all of them only made them hate and distrust her more.
Not like it stopped me from trying more, though. I didn’t fully give up for another couple of centuries. Desperation does that to people.
“Sounds like you tried everything,” Matesh commented. “Killing the Empress, escaping the city. Anything you haven’t tried before?”
“Having allies,” she said. This was the only thing she hadn’t tried yet. It was because she never had anyone give her the chance to be allies. Not friends. Friends got gladiators killed. She needed to be ready to cut them loose if they got into trouble that would get her into trouble.
Ready, but not willing. Already, she felt so immensely right with the position she was in with the two males. Something in her chest felt like it was correct. Like the natural order was righting itself. Something instinctual was telling her this was good, to have these two males with her.
Dangerous instincts, those. Why is it like this? Is this why I always craved it? Because it’s something strange about being Andinna?
That’s how it felt. Undeniable. Primal.
Even more weird, she liked them there in her space with her. It was strange and she was slightly uncomfortable, but she liked it. She wanted to fight it and fall for it, all at the same time.
“Well…” Rainev stood up again. “You have some now. If you’ll have us.”
Why wouldn’t I have them? I have nothing else. It’s dangerous and stupid, but it feels good. Skies, it feels so good. I’ll keep them, because I can’t bring myself to say no.
“I’ll have you. You’re good enough. We should get back now. I feel like the bell is going to ring and you don’t want to be late to training. Ever.” She led them back out and looked down the hall to see another of the gladiators. He watched her carefully, then narrowed his eyes at her two new allies. She watched him, a challenge. He just looked away and left in the direction of the chow hall.
Damn. She really hoped the other gladiators in her area weren’t going to cause her problems now that she was getting allies of her own. They all had guests. She had had guests before. Well, she had random encounters before and would then throw them out. These two were different and everyone knew it.
As they entered the training area, the bell rang to signal the end of lunch. Right on time.
“I’ll practice the net and spear,” she said quickly, grabbing one from the wall. “You both need to learn how to fight against it. I never use these, but it’ll be good practice for you both, even against an amateur at it like me.”
“I don’t need to repeat it, but I will. What kind of Andinna decides to learn the Elvasi method of murdering us?” Matesh crossed his arms, looking at the net and spear she grabbed.
“The ones who want to survive in the Colosseum,” she responded. “I mean, the people love them, even though we all side-eye them.”
“You’ve survived this long without nets and spears,” Rainev commented, swinging his gladius around as she prepared.
“I did,” she whispered. The hard way. The lonely way. She had every odd stacked up against her when they shoved her, completely untrained, onto the sands that first time, against an old male. She had been lucky - and desperate.
For the first time in her memory, she didn’t feel lonely.
She stepped into the training circle with the net, Matesh meeting her.
It was a long training session
. They learned the ins and outs of her tossing the net on them, and the danger of the spear, which was wood since she didn’t use them regularly. A lot of bruises were had as she taught them the tricks others had tried on her.
Rainev was better against the net while Matesh was too big and bulky.
“Your best bet is to cut the net user down before he can make a toss on you,” she explained to him. “Once the net is on you, it kills your chance to survive. Sometimes people can pull out of them, but it’s ten to one odds, maybe worse.”
“That’s because they developed the netting and spear system just for us at the beginning of the Hundred Year War,” he said quietly. “I dealt with them in the war. When we can fly, it’s easier since we dive down on them, but…”
“We’re stuck on the ground,” she strongly reminded him. “Stop thinking about flying. It doesn’t do you, me, or anyone else any good.”
She felt bad the moment those words were out of her mouth. She needed to learn to soften her words, she really did. They were going to hate her if she didn’t. She didn’t know how, though. She had never needed to before.
“Well, I’m sorry I know what flying feels like and it sucks not to be able to. I haven’t been a slave for a thousand years so I can’t just turn it off, the love for flying.”
I deserve that. I shouldn’t have snapped at him. Fuck, that hurt, though.
“Uncle,” Rainev chastised softly. “She’s trying to help.”
“Yeah.” Matesh growled, shaking his head.
She forced her mouth to stay closed and her face blank. He was right. She hated the comment, but he was right. She had no idea what the skies felt like. But if he was going to be an ass about her advice, she would give him none. If he knew everything, then he could figure out on his own that the sands were not the battlefield. He was frustrated that the nets were a weakness for him.
Now you’re just in a bad mood, Mave. You know better than to expect him to be perfectly fine with everything right off the bat. This is just something that comes with the newbies.
The Gladiator's Downfall Page 9
