Curious Obsession

by Elora Ramirez

  “Holy shit,” Jasper chokes out.

  I can’t say anything. My hands grab at my elbows and I pull them in toward my middle, protecting me from some unforeseen monster. There on the last square, Juniper stares back at me. Whoever this is, they really did have her ID.

  7

  “It’s not her.”

  I haven’t even opened the door all of the way before the words escape from my mouth. I couldn’t get out of the room quick enough once Jasper and I realized the body didn’t belong to Juniper.

  Dan looks up at me in confusion and then shock.

  “It’s not? Are you sure?”

  “She wasn’t engaged, she hates tattoos, on a good day her hair is wavy at best and her birth mark is not on her foot. It’s on her cheek.” I point to my own clear skin. “It’s how people are able to tell us apart,” I add.

  “This isn’t good.”

  I scoff. “I don’t know captain, I think it’s pretty damn good news myself, but who am I shitting? It’s only my sister.” My voice is dripping with sarcasm, but I can’t help it. I’m so done with his inability to hold an emotionally intelligent conversation.

  “Lavender, of course it’s a good thing this isn’t Juniper. But now I have even more of a shit show on my hands because if this isn’t your sister, then how the fuck did she get her ID? That’s why this isn’t good.”

  I stand there, silent, and feel Jasper walk up behind me. Without thinking, I find myself easing my way back to rest against his chest. It’s comforting. And he doesn’t stop me, so I stay, feeling only slightly guilty for jumping at Dan before getting more information.

  “What this tells me is that someone must have planted her ID on the body, which begs the question how this person knew there would be a body to deflect our attention.”

  He dropped his face in his hands and groaned.

  “Meaning, Lavender, your sister’s disappearance is most likely not an isolated incident.”

  Chills race across my skin.

  “What do you mean? Do you mean this person could have been kidnapped and killed by the same person who has Juniper?”

  Dan lifted his head and looked at me.

  “Yes. That’s what I mean.”

  I drop my hands to my knees then, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. How do people survive these moments over and over and over again? How do you continue to keep moving when the walls keep pressing in? I feel Jasper’s hand on my back and it steadies my breathing some. His voice cracks against the silence.

  “Did anyone happen to find notes on this victim by chance?”

  I startle.

  Notes.

  I had completely forgotten about the note I found this morning. I straighten and look at Dan.

  “That reminds me. We need to talk. I got a note.”

  His eyes widen.

  “You were going to tell me this when?”

  “When you called and told me there was a probability Juniper’s body was found. I was texting you when I got your call.”

  “Fuck, Lavender. You still coulda told me.”

  “If I recall, you hung up on me pretty quickly after finding out I agreed to come identify the body.”

  He blinks a few times before leaning back in the chair, resting his head against the wall.

  “Where is it?”

  “At the house.”

  He slaps his knees and stands.

  “Guess we’re going back home.”

  I throw my hands up in the air in frustration and follow Dan who is already walking down the hallway toward the exit. “Fine,” I call out behind him. “But we’re stopping for food on the way. I’m starving.”

  .::.

  Dan texts me on our way back to Juniper’s house.

  I’ll be there soon. Need to stop at the house to help the wife with something. DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID.

  I roll my eyes and show Jasper, who laughs.

  We decide on a local crab-shack for lunch and call ahead of time. Jasper drops me off at the house on his way to pick up the food and I walk through the front door, an odd mix of relief and foreboding filling my senses.

  I’m relieved because my intuition yet again proved on target. Juniper is still alive.

  And yet, the implications of who is behind this grow by the minute and leaves me speechless with the severity. Who would be capable of something like this? I felt like I was a character in the episode of Criminal Minds and half expected Derek Morgan to walk around the corner any minute. I raise an eyebrow.

  Not that I would mind.

  An idea begins to form in my head and before I can talk myself out of it, I grab a sheet of paper and start writing. I step back for a moment, reading over what I wrote.

  Where is she?

  I fold it identical to the first note and walk back to the window, putting it on the opposite side. I step back and bite my thumb. I know this is stupid. I know it in my marrow. This is exactly what Dan was talking about in his text and to give him credit, he must know me better than I originally thought.

  But.

  If this person is following me as closely as I think they are, I might as well say hello. Right? Start a dialogue? Force their hand, so to speak?

  “Where’s Spencer Reid when you need him,” I mutter under my breath before sealing my fate and leaving the note on the windowsill.

  What’s done is done.

  I hear someone at the door and peek my head around the corner to see Jasper’s head in the window. He sees me and waves. I wave back and make my way to the front door, letting him in and noticing Dan pulling up right behind him. He gets out of his car and throws Jasper a look as he buttons his jacket.

  “You didn’t happen to get enough for all of us, did you?”

  Jasper opens his mouth and looks at me for help.

  “Actually Dan,” I offer, “we only got two poboys, but I would never be able to finish this so I’ll give you some of mine.”

  He grunts and walks past us, scoping out the living room.

  Jasper catches my eyes and we twist our lips to keep from laughing.

  “Where’s the note?” Dan asks, looking around and oblivious to my conversation with Jasper. Every once in a while he’ll pick something up randomly, looking underneath it.

  “Well. Not under the flower vase.” I laugh, walking to the folded piece of paper on the counter. I hand it to him and he looks at it.

  “If he’s following you,” Dan says, “then he more than likely has this place bugged in some way.”

  I feel stupid for laughing, for thinking he was looking for another note in random places. Bugged? Juniper’s house?

  “For real?” I choke, suddenly uneasy. It’s not that I’ve had conversations I wouldn’t want others to know about; I haven’t really had any time to do anything other than collapse into bed after searching for Juniper all day. But the thought of someone tapping into this space to watch or hear what was going on at all times has me….spooked. Spooked and angry all over again. “Shouldn’t you have told me this before y’all left me alone just now?”

  Dan turns and looks at us.

  “I knew nothing about you being left alone.”

  Jasper sits on the couch, crossing his legs and spreading his arms across the backend of the cushion. Now that we’re past the initial drama of today, it’s like I’m noticing him for the first time. He’s wearing cut-off jeans today that hit right above his knee. His t-shirt has the moon phases stacked on top of each other. When he spreads his arms, the muscles flex and I see that tattoo on his forearm take on a life of its own.

  “She was alone for maybe five minutes and I was a cell phone call away,” he says. “How would someone have access to this place anyway? And if it’s bugged, how long do you think it’s been going on?”

  He looks at Dan and waits for an answer. I force my eyes to bounce from his legs back to Dan.

  “Well. I’m not saying it’s a definite.” He looks at both of us while putting the note in a plastic bag he brought inside
with him. “If we do find anything here, we’ll need to probably come back and do a more thorough search.” He looks directly at me and I nod my agreement. “Then we’re talking about someone with a lot more maturity and depth than we initially thought. This is someone with intent and habit.”

  I lean against the counter, frustrated. My head falls into my hands and I try to breathe but am unsuccessful. I end up massaging my temples, my eyes roaming to a thread of something hanging out of the trashcan in the pantry. I walk over to get a better look and find a sweater in the trash.

  A blue one.

  I pull it out, the fabric barely between my finger and thumb. I feel my heart drum in my ears.

  I know this sweater.

  A few months before she moved, Juniper splurged on these sweaters. It was the first time she’d been even remotely spontaneous with her money. Always cautious, always logical — she had almost a full year’s salary saved. We’d gotten into a huge fight about it because it was so shocking to me. A few weeks later, she told me she was moving.

  I take a deep breath. For her to have thrown this away, after everything, she had to have been spooked. My gut drops with fear.

  I will not fall apart here. I won’t.

  I sniff, wiping my cheeks and motioning for Jasper to look at me, my hand shaking.

  “The note.”

  Jasper looks from me to the sweater and his eyes go wide.

  “Oh, shit.”

  I nod and look at Dan, studying the sweater still in my hands.

  “Do you remember? The note Juniper got from the student before her meeting with Jasper? It mentioned something about liking her in the blue sweater.” I lift my hand, holding the fabric. “This one.”

  I start pacing the living room, looking under the cushions and underneath vases and inside lamps.

  “Lavender,” Dan says. “What are you doing?”

  “He was watching her.”

  I don’t know what I’m looking for — blinking red lights? A rogue wire hanging from its hiding place? I walk past him, unable to slow down — I feel the kinetic pulse in my veins and I have to do something.

  Dan’s mouth twists and he avoids my gaze.

  “It’s possible. But not conclusive.” He turns away from me before I can protest and walks to the bedroom. I roll my eyes in frustration.

  I might kill him before we even find you, Juniper.

  He walks back out of the room, holding my note in his hands. His lips are a thin line and a vein sticks out of his neck. He might actually be really pissed at me.

  “Do you want to explain yourself?”

  I’m still angry with him. I don’t have patience for platitudes or inconclusive evidence. I stare at him.

  “Am I going to get in trouble for passing notes?”

  Dan sucks in his cheek and I know I’ve hit a nerve.

  “I thought I might try and make contact with whomever is doing this — it might not do anything, or we might actually get something.” I shrug. “I could be reaching, but at least I’m trying.” I raise an eyebrow.

  He gets the message and shakes his head slightly before throwing the note on the table. “Lavender. This isn’t a joke. Or a game. We now have reason to believe this person has killed at least one person.”

  My head pops up to face Dan and I look him square in the eyes, all of the fire and frustration of the past week built into my gaze. He blinks and looks away.

  “I know this isn’t a fucking joke, Dan. This is my sister. And you need to trust and believe that I will do whatever’s necessary to find her.”

  He takes his phone out of his pocket. “Let’s not make that disrupting an investigation, okay?” He punches in some numbers and grabs the necessary bags, making his way to the door.

  “I’m calling in our forensics team. They’ll be out here later today to look deeper into what we might have missed the first time around.” He pauses for a moment as he’s walking out and calls back over his shoulder, “Hey, Jasper? Can you not leave her alone this time?”

  Jasper nods and throws up a peace sign and I groan in frustration, stuffing the note in my back pocket. My pulse is racing. Jasper catches my eye and then looks the other way, pretending to be engaged with the fray of fabric on his shorts.

  I watch Dan until he gets into his car and pulls out of the driveway. He’s still on the phone when he sees me watching. He nods briefly and then sighs deeply, continuing to talk with the forensics team. I know I’m exhausting him. I know this probably isn’t how he’s wanting to spend his day. But whatever. I would also prefer to not have my sister kidnapped by a potential serial killer. I glance at my watch. Based on what Dan said before he left, forensics will be here within a few hours and they’ll probably want me present. Which is basically the opposite of perfect since right now I want to run.

  Away from this mess.

  Away from the fear.

  Away from this persistent thought that Juniper is in real danger, and I can do nothing to stop it. To save her.

  My thoughts are racing. I walk back to the bedroom, placing the note back underneath the seal, behind the curtain. I let my fingers linger for a moment, imagining this person watching me right now.

  Are you watching me?

  I focus my gaze outside and only see sand dunes, nearby cliffs, crashing waves, and seagulls. If he is, he knows there’s something waiting for him. And if I understand his thought process like I think I do, he won’t be able to stop himself from coming to check what it is.

  “He doesn’t have the greatest bedside manner.” I pivot and see Jasper leaning against the doorframe. For a moment, I forgot he was still here. He scratches his chin, the stubble having grown considerably since yesterday.

  I fight from rolling my eyes and instead, roll my neck — hoping to work some of the tightness out of the muscles.

  “When he mentioned not to leave me alone I wasn’t expecting this attentive of a babysitter.”

  Jasper chuckled and shrugged, “I’m not babysitting you. You know exactly why he said that too.”

  I sigh and shake my head slightly despite the fact that I know he’s right. I know, even though I really don’t want to admit it, that Dan is legitimately concerned about my safety.

  “I can’t keep up with everything. It’s like emotional whiplash.” I cover my face with my hands and collapse on a nearby chair.

  “Want to go for a walk?”

  I look up.

  He sticks his hands in his pockets and juts his chin toward the window. “There’s a trail right around the corner that curves the shoreline.”

  “Yeah,” I say, remembering Juniper’s walks along that trail when we would talk on the phone. I’m pretty sure I could find my way around it just by memories of our conversations. I pull at my ear, a nervous tic, and roll my shoulders again.

  “I could use a distraction.” And then I blush as Jasper stretches and my gaze lands on the small glimpse of skin. I’m realizing too late this distraction has nothing to do with the views of nature.

  8

  The first time you told me you had a twin, I didn’t believe you. There’s no way, I told you. You showed me a picture of her then, proving your point (you always love to be right), and I couldn’t speak anymore because there she was — another you.

  Lavender.

  And now here we are, full circle. When she showed up at your house the other day, I couldn’t believe my luck. It’s destiny — you know that, right? I’ve been waiting since the black of dawn for her to find the note. I ask you how long you think it’s going to take and you groan, still groggy from the night before. I watch you for a moment, waiting for you to wake. You turn your head and your breathing steadies again and I sigh. I miss you, Juniper. I walk over to where you’re sleeping and run my finger along your arm, raising an eyebrow when I see the goosebumps rise on your skin.

  Even in your sleep, you want me.

  I just want you to talk to me. You fought me most of yesterday, screaming until your voice was gone. I
flex my fingers and feel the scratches stretch against the skin. They sting, but it reminds me of your strength. I smile. I know the fight in you is simply a ruse. It’s what you think you should be doing right now.

  But I know what you want.

  I look down at my watch, realizing it’s nearly 10am. My smile shifts into a worried line and I glance back toward the windows. Will she ever wake up?

  And then she does, and so does my heart.

  I lean forward, watching her open the curtain and start a stretch that looks like a variation of yoga. I suck in a breath because she looks so much like you. I want to run and grab her, have her join us, but it’s not time. Not yet.

  So I just sit there, mesmerized. She stretches her arms above her head, a small smile on her lips, and her shirt lifts just above the hem of the shorts that barely cover the lacy underwear I know is underneath.

  I know because you wear them, Juniper.

  God. You – her — both of you — are so beautiful.

  How is it possible I’ve managed to stumble across perfection twice?

  She finds the note and my heart rate triples. I lean so far forward I almost tumble over, but I break into a grin when I see her hand fly up to her mouth. She loves it. I knew she would. She walks away for just a moment and I lose sight of her. I think about checking the other views on the monitors in the other room. Something keeps me focused though, and I’m so glad I’m paying attention because she comes back and this time?

  Oh my god.

  This time she places something under the window. Juniper, you never did this! Is that a note? For me? Tears threaten to fall. I knew she’d be different. I knew she’d understand. She wasn’t deterred by the small distraction I sent their way with the body. She knows we’re out here, love. She craves connection.

  My fingers itch for the note and I stand up as if I’m about to walk right over there and grab it but something stops me in my tracks.