New Media & Old Grudges

by Amanda M. Lee

  “Absolutely not,” the Channel 2 cameraman barked. “I can’t believe you dragged us here under false pretenses like this. I would never agree to cover a story about a guy who wants to take our guns.”

  Honestly, the gun culture in Michigan is pervasive. I own a gun I bought more than a year ago because I was getting threatening notes with my morning coffee. That’s actually how Eliot and I met. He sold me the gun ... and now I regularly lose track of it because I move it from geeky cookie jar to cookie jar. I knew there was no way to rile residents over the media’s First Amendment rights because Tad could spin that story any way he wanted. But the Second Amendment, well, that’s a different story.

  “I don’t want to do anything with the Second Amendment,” he spat, his eyes blazing. “I would never go after the Second Amendment. That’s not who I am.”

  “So, just the First Amendment?” Devon challenged. “You do realize that freedom of the press is important enough that only countries with dictatorships don’t protect the right, don’t you?”

  I had to hand it to her. That was a fun question.

  “Yeah, Mr. Ludington,” I intoned. “Are you saying you want us to become a dictatorship? That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it? Not only are you no longer anti-dictatorship, now you want to call an end to democracy. Which people do you want to persecute in your new dictatorship?”

  If looks could kill, I’d be six feet under. I’d completely derailed his conference and there was no way he could get it back on track. No matter what narrative he tried to spin, it would never be the same. It was done ... and I was beyond amused.

  “I’m going to kill you,” Tad seethed as he moved away from the podium and toward me. “I’m going to ... just rip your head off your neck and squeeze it until it pops!” Spittle formed at the corners of his mouth.

  Despite my best intentions to hold my ground I took three inadvertent steps back. Normally I would’ve stood directly in front of him and dared him to put his hands on me. Now, after what happened in the corn maze, I was more leery ... and I hated myself for it.

  “I don’t see how you can blame this on me,” I said reasonably. “You’re the one who wants to make sure that law-abiding citizens can’t carry guns. I mean ... this really is on you.” That would be the soundbite played every news cycle between now and the election so I delivered it with gusto.

  “I’m going to kill you!” Tad screeched, reaching for me.

  My heart gave a small roll as I prepared for his attack, but then a hand came out of nowhere. Eliot, who must’ve been watching the proceedings from the side, swiftly stepped in front of me and grabbed Tad by the throat as the deranged man launched himself at me.

  “I don’t think so,” Eliot growled.

  Tad’s eyes went wide, bulging out of his head when Eliot cut off his airway. He looked like a fish out of water as he unsuccessfully gulped for oxygen.

  “Hey!” Fawn, racing in our direction, finally decided to insert herself into the conversation. “Take your hands off of him. That’s assault. Assault! Assault!” she yelled, looking around desperately to find someone to take up her cause.

  “Fawn?” Eliot looked confused, but he didn’t lessen his grip on Tad’s throat. “What are you doing here?”

  “She’s Tad’s new assistant,” I volunteered, moving closer to my mortal enemy to study his purple and sweating face. He looked as if he was about to pass out, and while I knew Eliot would release him before that happened, I wanted to take a moment to further torture him. “I really wish you wouldn’t go after gun owners the way you are. It’s ... un-American. I can see it now. The headlines: Tad Ludington wants to take guns from all residents. How do you think that will go over?”

  Tad tried to kick me, but Eliot used his leg to knock Tad’s foot off course.

  “Don’t even think about touching her,” Eliot warned. “I’m not in the mood for your crap. If you lay one hand on her, I’ll make you pay.”

  “Yes, because Avery must be protected at all times,” Fawn muttered, shaking her head. “The world always revolves around Avery. In fact, this is her world and we’re just allowed to visit it.”

  Eliot’s eyes were dark as they landed on her. “That’s exactly right.”

  Sensing things were about to get even further out of control, I put my hand on Eliot’s wrist to placate him. “It’s not worth it,” I warned. “He won’t touch me. You can let him go.”

  Eliot didn’t look convinced. “Maybe I don’t want to let him go.”

  The sound of a vehicle door slamming caught my attention, and I found Jake exiting a sheriff’s department cruiser and heading in our direction. He didn’t look happy, but that was his perpetual expression when his path crossed with one of Tad’s ridiculous schemes.

  “What’s going on?” Jake called out, his eyes busy as he glanced between faces.

  “What’s going on?” Fawn was beyond shrill. “This man is threatening the life of my employer. Aren’t you going to do something?”

  “Eliot, stop strangling Ludington,” Jake replied mildly.

  Eliot narrowed his eyes and drew Tad’s face closer to his so he could glare a moment longer before releasing him with a shove. Tad toppled to the sidewalk, gasping for breath. Fawn dropped to her knees to soothe her boss.

  “It’s okay,” she said, patting his shoulder. “You’re okay ... and you looked great while trying to kill her.”

  Jake folded his arms over his chest. He was clearly trying to catch up on the conversation, but it was obvious he recognized the “her” Fawn mentioned. “What did you do?” His gaze homed in on me.

  “This isn’t her fault,” Eliot snapped, straightening. “He attacked her.”

  Jake’s expression was hard to read as he looked Eliot up and down. The sidelong look he sent me said that he was concerned about his over-the-top reaction. He didn’t press Eliot on the issue, though. “And why was Ludington trying to kill you today, Avery?”

  “Because he’s trying to ban guns from law-abiding citizens and I pointed out they might not like that. He got upset and ... well ... here we are.”

  Jake worked his jaw. “He’s trying to ban guns?” he finally asked.

  “That’s not true,” Tad whined. “That’s not even remotely true. I don’t want to ban guns. I’m trying to ban her, but she turned it against me.”

  “You tried to ban her?”

  I handed Jake the information packet and watched as he flipped through the pages. Fawn gushed over Tad and tried to make him feel better as he struggled to recover from the attack on his windpipe and pride.

  “You can’t do this,” Jake said finally when he was done reading the information. He looked more annoyed by what Tad had initially planned than what I’d turned the conversation into. “You can’t pick and choose which media representatives are allowed to go to what events.”

  “And why not?” Tad rasped as he shot me a look that promised retribution. “She’s been a menace for years. She’s out of control. Don’t tell me your job wouldn’t be easier if you could keep her from sticking her nose into certain cases.”

  “It’s not about that.” Jake feigned calm, but I could tell he was on the verge of losing his temper. “You don’t get to say who is and isn’t allowed at various events. That’s not how a free press works.”

  “Well, it should be.” Tad groaned as Fawn helped him to his feet. “Do you understand what she did here today? She completely derailed my news conference. Are you saying that’s what the forefathers intended for a free press?”

  Jake hesitated, but only for a moment. “I don’t really care how you feel about her. She has a right to cover whatever story she wants to cover. You can’t do what you’re suggesting in this packet.” Jake shook it for emphasis. “There are people all over this county who will fight you.”

  “There are also people who will rally behind me. She’s made enemies of half the politicians in three counties. She doesn’t even keep her malevolence confined to Macomb County. You might
not think I can do this, but I know I can.”

  “And you think you’ll get the voters to rally behind this?” Jake was incredulous. “Why do you keep coming up with these stupid ideas?”

  “It will work.” Tad was adamant as he pinned me with a look. “I’m going to end her.”

  “Don’t threaten her,” Eliot growled, taking another menacing step in Tad’s direction. “In fact, don’t even look at her.”

  Jake’s eyebrows hopped. “Okay, tiger, calm down.” He patted Eliot’s arm and stared at me. “You need to take him home and do whatever it is you do that makes him laugh like a loon.”

  “You want me to dance naked and feed him cookie dough from a tube?”

  That was enough to earn a smile from Eliot. “Actually, that sounds fun.” He moved his hand to the back of my neck and prodded me in front of him. “We’ll go back to the shop. You can write your story, then I’ll take you home and we can play with the cat.”

  “Is that a euphemism for something?” Tad asked, horrified.

  “No. We have a cat,” Eliot replied. “He’s like a son to us now.”

  “Yes, a really naughty son who keeps pooping in my shoes,” I muttered.

  “Now you two are adopting animals together?” Fawn threw her hands up in disgust. “That is just ... so stupid.”

  I wanted to laugh, but now didn’t seem the time. “That sounds like a plan to me.” I moved to step off the curb with Eliot, but Tad stopped me with an incredulous whining.

  “Um ... my news conference isn’t over. In fact, it hasn’t even started. You derailed it from the start. I’m not done here.”

  This time I let loose the smuggest smile in my repertoire. “You’re not?” I inclined my head toward the empty space behind him. While he’d been distracted with us, the other members of the media had scattered. There was no one left to hear Tad’s sad story.

  “But ... .” Tad looked positively apoplectic as he glanced around. “I don’t understand. They didn’t even hear about my vision.”

  “No, but they heard about mine.” I winked at him as I moved toward the street with Eliot. “Have a nice night, Tad. I can’t wait to see the reaction from this story.”

  “There is no story. I didn’t get a chance to even tell people what I wanted because you screwed everything up.”

  “Oh, there’s a story. I can’t wait to see how the public reacts to it.”

  “WELL, THAT WAS ... I DON’T EVEN know what word to use.”

  Eliot sat next to me on the couch shortly after eleven o’clock, Rocky stretched out on his lap, and watched the news coverage of the conference with dumbfounded disbelief.

  “I thought it was awesome.” I snuggled closer to him, amused. “I bet people throw eggs and tomatoes at him tomorrow they’re so angry. Maybe I’ll follow him around just waiting for that to happen.”

  I was tucked into the crook at Eliot’s side. He shook his head and glanced down at me, looking both baffled and amused. “Did you want him to get painted as a gun hater?”

  “Yeah. Now, no matter what he says about the other thing, people will dismiss him because they think he’s coming after their guns. On top of that, this will probably be enough to ensure that he loses the election. I mean ... people in Macomb County like their guns. He’ll have people coming out just to vote against him.”

  “I don’t think he’s figured that out yet.” Eliot’s fingers were gentle as they brushed my hair from my face. “He didn’t hurt you, right? I arrived about thirty seconds before he launched himself at you. For some reason I sensed trouble ... and I turned out to be right.”

  “He didn’t hurt me,” I reassured him. “You have to stop worrying about that.”

  “Hey, it’s a free country.” He poked my side. “I’m allowed to worry about what I want to worry about.”

  That was true, but I didn’t want him wasting his days obsessing about things he couldn’t change. “Tad’s no threat to me,” I reminded him. “He’s a wuss. I could’ve handled that situation myself.”

  “Yes, well, I handled it for you.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and then glanced down at the kitten, who had fallen into a purring coma thanks to Eliot petting him. “Do you really think Tad will lose the election?”

  I nodded without hesitation. “Absolutely. There’s nothing that could turn this around for him short of being martyred. This is it. I’ll never have to talk to that idiot again. Well, other than when I cover his concession speech on election night. I definitely don’t want to miss that.”

  Eliot chuckled and drew me close. “Well, you got your way again. I guess that means you’ll be in a good mood the rest of the week. We should celebrate.”

  I was instantly alert. “What do you have in mind?”

  He offered up a playful wink. “How about we go into the bedroom and I’ll show you?”

  And that right there was the whipped cream topping on a fun day.

  4 Four

  I woke to snoring in my ear. For once it wasn’t Eliot. Rocky had somehow crawled between our heads and was kneading his claws into my face.

  “Ow!” I gave him a dirty look as he opened one eye. He didn’t appear fearful of my wrath, which was something I would have to change.

  “What’s wrong?” Eliot murmured, shifting next to me. He stretched his arms over his head and greeted the morning with a prolonged sigh. “What are you complaining about now?”

  “I’m not complaining just to complain,” I started.

  “Of course not. You would never do that.”

  “This cat wants to hurt me.”

  He snorted and fixed his full attention on the ball of fur between our faces. “I think he’s cute.”

  “You would.” I glared at the kitten. “We need to establish some rules, buddy. First off, no more crapping in my shoes.”

  “Have you considered that if you put your shoes in the closet he wouldn’t be able to crap in them?”

  Oh, of course he would go there. “I put my shoes away.”

  “The rug in front of the door is not a shoe rack. It’s for guests to wipe their feet. You have eight pairs of shoes sitting on that rug.”

  “You could always put the shoes away if they bug you.”

  “If I do it for you, you’ll never learn.”

  “Oh, so this is a lesson. Nice.”

  He chuckled as he slipped his arm around my waist and tugged me close. “You don’t tend to learn lessons unless it’s the hard way, so I’m waiting to see how many pairs actually pile up before you take action. I’ve told the maids they’re not to put your shoes away, so you’ll have to do it.”

  That sounded like a challenge. “And what if I don’t?”

  “Then they’ll all be full of cat crap at some point. Rocky is sending a message. Whether you choose to listen to that message is up to you.”

  I narrowed my eyes at the cat, who was steadily licking Eliot’s face. “I’m the boss in this house,” I warned. “I am not going to kowtow to a cat.”

  Rocky purred as he wiggled under Eliot’s chin.

  “You’re such a suck-up,” I muttered. “I mean ... like, a huge suck-up.”

  Eliot laughed as he kissed my cheek and then frowned as he got a closer look. “What’s up with this?” He rubbed his finger over the spot where Rocky had been kneading his claws. It was somewhat tender.

  “What?” I bolted into a sitting position in the bed, focusing on my reflection in the mirror on the other side of the room. Even from eight feet away I could see the redness. “Son of ... ! Now it looks as if I’ve been in a fight.”

  “Well, nobody will question that given your attitude. You can say you got it grappling with Ludington yesterday. It will up your street cred.”

  “Um, that memo has already been sent. I’m a total badass. Even people who have never met me know that.”

  “I’ll have to take your word for it. I happen to think you’re a marshmallow.” He poked my stomach again as I glared. “Speaking of marshmallows, do you want to go
the Lucky Charms route this morning or should I cook?”

  How was that a serious question? “Um ... I want eggs and hash browns.”

  “That’s what I figured.” He groaned as he rolled. “Come on. We’ll get breakfast before showering. If you’re good, we can shower together to conserve water.”

  Oh, right. Like that was a reward for me. Well ... maybe. “Fine, but I want sausage, too.”

  “I’ll see what I can arrange.”

  ELIOT WAS BETTER AT COHABITATION than me. He could cook, didn’t mind cleaning and had no problem with me in his personal space. I was getting better, but he considered me a “demanding little thing.” Those were his words, not mine. Still, there were benefits to living with him that I never could’ve imagined, and one of those was a hot breakfast every morning.

  “Yum.” I rubbed my hands together as he slipped a plate in front of me. He looked amused by my reaction, which wasn’t unusual. He grabbed the coffee pot and placed it at the center of the table so we could caffeinate before settling into his chair. The second his butt hit the seat the doorbell rang.

  “Well, crap.” He lifted his head and stared toward the door. “Who would be here this early? It’s not even eight.”

  “I’ll get it.” I was spoiling for a fight anyway. The cat was too little to throw down with. A human made a much more appealing target.

  “I’ll get it.” He put a hand on my arm to still me. The crease of his forehead told me that he considered suspect anyone who rang a doorbell so early. And, because he was still determined to keep me safe despite my admonishments to the contrary, I simply nodded and allowed him to be the macho man of the house. He seemed to need it these days.

  I focused on my breakfast as he shuffled toward the door. I figured it was probably my grandfather. He had an unerring ability to show up at the worst possible time, and given my mood, a visit from him was pretty far down the list of things I wanted this morning. When the pool was open, he let himself into the backyard to swim naked and traumatize us. With the pool now closed for the winter, his torture included fully clothed face-to-face visits.