Out for Blood

by Devyn Forrest

  Finally, it was my turn. I felt like I had when I had been much younger, performing at the very first event Jeanine had ever signed me up for. Something she had actually paid for at the time, knowing that I could only do so many shifts at the diner at age fourteen. I had been absolutely crippled with fear and hadn’t been able to sleep for a good two days before the event. Despite that, I had still given a killer performance, one that had given me first place, my very first medal. Jeanine was so emotional that she actually cried.

  Jeanine. It was the first time I had really thought about her since arriving on the mat. As I walked out to the center, I tried to imagine where she might be in the crowd. Everything I was about to do was a direct reflection of all the tireless efforts she had invested in me and my career. If I fucked this up or if I didn’t give it my all— I knew she would be done with me, and I would have nothing left. Probably, I would have to go back to public school, save up money for whatever the hell I was going to do next. Kiss my dreams of gymnastics goodbye for good.

  Coach Jonathon told me it was time to begin. I cut my head back and tore into it. My muscles spasmed and grew tight and then loose again as I shot across the mat, thrusting my legs over my head. I was a spring, untethered. Every single piece clicked into place, just as it had on the balance beam. Suddenly, I sprung to the final landing and brought my arms back and my chest up. I felt proud, dominant and altogether crazy. Tears seeped over the edge of my eyes, but I refused to allow them to spill out onto my cheeks and instead flashed them my biggest smile.

  After the applause let out, I dropped my arms and began to walk across the mat. But before I could, Poppy whizzed around the side of the judge’s table and targeted herself directly toward me. I completely froze. When one of your idols starts to walk toward you, you have to just stand there and wait.

  Nobody seemed to know what was going on, and everybody seemed anxious to know what would happen next, including me. When Poppy was within five feet of me, she stopped short and drew her arms over her chest and said, “That was pretty good, Calloway.”

  I was shocked; she was giving me any kind of compliment. I smiled and replied, “Thank you.”

  “I just want you to know that it isn’t quite good enough yet to get into Denver Athletics,” she explained.

  I tilted my head, a little confused. I wanted to demand how the hell she would know that. She wasn’t a damn mind reader and nothing else had been decided on. “I’m sorry?” I asked and frowned.

  “I just want to see exactly what you can do,” she said. She narrowed her eyes at me in a wicked way before she finished. “I’m going to give you a series of moves, which you must perform on-demand. Once you start, I will continue to call them out. You only stop when I tell you to stop. Understood?”

  I arched my brow. What she was proposing was a lot like how Jeanine and I trained. She pushed me to any possible limit until my muscles screamed. But this wasn’t how an audition was supposed to go, was it? Oh, but it was Denver Athletics. They could do whatever the hell they wanted.

  “You’re going to start with a double layout, full, followed by a split jump,” Poppy announced. “Followed by a switch leap full, then a front full, then a switch leap. I’ll tell you what to do after.”

  I gaped at her. What she described was Olympic-level, the kind of routine you would only pull out at the very height of your career.

  “Can you not do it?” She demanded and placed her hands on her hips, looking like she was becoming annoyed.

  “No, no. I can,” I stuttered.

  “Because you can tell us all if you can’t do it,” she continued. “Really. It would save us all a lot of time.”

  “No. I can.”

  I popped back to the corner of the mat. My heart was pounding so hard; I thought it might burst. I took a deep breath and started into it—the double layover, full. Then, while my head spun, I tore into the switch leap and front full, then another switch leap. I huffed, landed and looked at her. And then, she did just as she’d said she would. She commanded me into another round.

  “Silivas,” she spat. “Then another switch leap, then a double layout, full.”

  I inhaled slowly and did as I was told. I felt like I was burning my muscles like once I used them this round, there would be nothing left. But when I landed, miraculously without hurting myself or without fucking up, she ordered me into yet another round. The entire Poppy-ordered routine went on for about five extra minutes, all nearly-impossible sequences. When I landed every single one, she seemed to grow increasingly angry. Her lips were turned down into a scowl.

  Finally, Jonathon sprung up from the judge’s table and walked over to us. He clapped his hands and the sound of it echoed through the silent gym. “Very good, Rooney. Very good. Poppy, I think that’s enough. We’ve all seen enough for today.”

  “Have we?” Poppy demanded craning her neck sideways to take a look at him.

  “I think so,” Jonathon replied sternly. He gave her a curious look and then turned to face the rest of the girls. I tried to catch my breath as I sucked in a large breath. My chest was heaving. “That’s it for today, ladies. Thank you for coming out to this audition. You’ll be hearing from us in the next five days. Good luck to you, and keep going. No matter what the results are, you’ve really done something miraculous with your lives. You’re incredible gymnasts. Nobody can take that away from you.” He finished smiling at all of us.

  Poppy walked off the mat, looking furious. I watched the other girls grab their bags and hustle back to the locker room. Jonathon gave me a glance-over and a half-smile, and then he rejoined the judges. There was no way I could analyze what he meant by that. Poppy didn’t seem to have anything else to say, either. I grabbed my gym bag and ran into the locker room. I felt completely exhausted and strung-out. I tore my leotard off and took a hot shower, not caring that I was bare naked in front of all these girls I’d never known, and maybe never would.

  Some of the girls had made friends with each other. They whispered a little as we got dressed.

  “Poppy can be such a bitch, I’ve heard,” one girl said.

  “I mean, what she just did out there was insane. I’ve never seen that before,” another said.

  I glanced toward her, sweeping my grungy t-shirt over my shoulders. She made eye contact with me and said, “I guess if you get in, you should watch your back.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “She obviously wants to destroy you,” she said. “You would be competition. I would be careful.”

  “Nobody knows anything yet,” I tried. My throat felt completely dry.

  “Just be careful,” the girl said.

  I met Jeanine back outside the stadium. When she saw me, she leaped toward me and pulled me into such a tight hug and just like that, I lost my breath all over again. When the hug broke, she beamed at me with tears in her eyes.

  “What?” I asked. I was incredulous. I felt like I was somewhere outside of my body.

  “I don’t even care if you don’t get in,” Jeanine said. “You’re a star, Rooney. What you did in there when Poppy ripped into you under pressure? I’ve never seen anything like it before. You killed it!”

  I rolled my eyes. “She hates me. My idol hates me,” I scoffed.

  “Whatever. She hates you because you’re damn good,” Jeanine said.

  “Hey! What was all that about cursing?” I said.

  “Whatever. Sometimes, life calls for it,” Jeanine said.

  We walked back to the car, and she drove me back down to Karla’s house. It was a weird thing, diving back to my ‘real’ life. The minute I stepped back into Karla’s house, Tyler and Zach were in some sort of wild screaming match about the TV, and Jeffrey was crying, and Karla was yelling with a drink in her hand. My heart sank. They all turned to me like I was the only one who could possibly solve this. With my eyes half-open, I stepped over to heat up Jeffrey’s food. I took the drink out of Karla’s hand and gave her this look, like, “Really?
” Tyler and Zach seemed to recognize how tired I was, and they both sat on the couch without speaking.

  What is going to happen to them if I go?

  Who the hell is going to make sure Jeffrey is all right?

  Karla marched up to me as I stirred up Jeffrey’s food. She seemed to seethe with rage. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.

  “You’re drunk, Karla. Again,” I returned.

  She reached up and gripped my chin and turned my face toward her. The motion wasn’t exactly violent, but it did scare the shit out of me. I shivered and waited for her to speak, but it seemed like she had completely lost her mind. When she realized she didn’t have anything to say, she dropped my chin again and marched off. The way she did it, she reminded me of Poppy—all these fucking people who hated my existence. What a great way to live. I just had to keep resisting them and spite them.

  Chapter Four

  The next day, I worked a long shift at the diner. Jeanine and I had decided to take a day off of practice, and I found myself with the kids at Karla’s place, staring down at my little brick phone and daring it to ring. Jeanine had given both mine and her phone number to Denver Athletics, along with our addresses and emails. Everything felt like a ticking time bomb. What was going to go off first? How was I going to learn if they wanted me, or didn’t?

  Tyler and Zach had little lightsabers, which they liked to smash at one another. ‘War’ was what they called it. The little girls tried to get me to play with them outside, but the heat was sweltering and I didn’t want to sit out there long with Jeffrey. Karla had gone out with her friends for the night. She had told me that she would give me babysitting money, but she had said this before. It was always a damn lie.

  I sat on the floor, half-watching the old Olympic tape on VHS, and half-making sure the boys didn’t stick the lightsabers in one another’s eyes. Around six o’clock was when the doorbell rang. Funny enough, the first thought I had when I heard it was, “Oh, shit. Karla forgot her key again.”

  I carried Jeffrey to the front door, kicking past a few of the boys’ toys to get there. When I opened it, I discovered Coach Jonathan, along with the headmaster, Conrad Piper, standing out there with expensive sunglasses on. They looked out of place, there in the rough part of Denver. I thought maybe I’d lost it. They were a part of my imagination.

  “Rooney! Hi there,” Mr. Piper said. “Do you mind if we come in for a moment?”

  I frowned at them both. “Hello. Um. Yes, of course. Come in.”

  I was a bit delirious as they entered. Karla’s house was relatively small, and the only place we had to go was the kitchen, attached to the living room where the boys still sparred. Mr. Piper feigned a smile and said, “Well, look at that! Star Wars fans.” But the boys didn’t look up or give him any kind of indication that what he had said was correct or funny for that matter.

  “Sorry about all this,” I said and gestured around to the messy room. “My foster mom is away right now, and the kids really like to make a mess when they can. I guess that’s the nature of kids. Can I... um. Get you anything?” I glanced across the kitchen counter to find only a half-empty liter of milk, a half-drunk glass of wine, and Jeffrey’s bottle. It looked pathetic.

  “No. We really don’t need to stay long,” Coach Jonathon said.

  “Is there a place we can speak privately?” Mr. Piper asked.

  I looked at him nervously then. Privacy in Karla’s house was not exactly a known concept.

  “The boys might kill each other if I walk too far away,” I explained. I turned toward them and said, “Zach! Tyler! Can you quiet down for a second? We have visitors.”

  Zach rolled his eyes. Tyler tossed his lightsaber to the ground. But this allowed me and Coach Jonathon and Mr. Piper at least a moment of quiet.

  “Rooney, we came here today to tell you just how much we were impressed with what you did yesterday,” Coach Jonathon finally said. It seemed like he was a bit impatient.

  “Yes. Really stellar sportsmanship,” Mr. Piper said. “Especially when our top gymnast tried to trip you up—that was off-script, of course. Not the sort of thing we’ve seen before. But it really helped us get a sense of your mental state on the mat. And again—wow!”

  “Wow,” Jonathon echoed and smiled at me.

  I could feel my cheeks turn crimson at their compliments. “I mean. That’s really nice to hear,” I said. I shifted Jeffrey against my side and prayed that he wouldn’t start screaming. “It was really an honor to try out.”

  “Sure. Sure. But Rooney, we want to offer you a position at Denver Athletics,” Mr. Piper said, holding his hands out like he was trying to give me something. The expression on his face was priceless as he waited for me to respond like a teenage boy wanting to know if he could take the car.

  My lips parted in shock and I quickly looked at both of them. If I wasn’t so focused, I might have dropped Jeffrey altogether.

  Is it possible that all my dreams are going to come true?

  Is it possible that everything I’ve ever worked for...

  Everything I’ve ever wanted...

  Is it possible that it’s here? Now?

  “My god. I mean. That’s...” I tried and swiped a free hand through my hair and then I covered my mouth as I comprehended what he had just said. It was really difficult to find the right words. “Thank you! I mean. Thank you so much!” I couldn’t stop smiling.

  “But there’s one thing we need to talk about,” Coach Jonathon said.

  And then, my heart sank.

  “We’ve had a look at your application. We recognize that you come from a very particular upbringing. Very different, some might say,” Mr. Piper nodded. He again blinked toward Jeffrey, then Tyler and Zach. I wondered if he even knew there were the girls outside. “Clearly, that hasn’t gotten in the way of your training. And we also read that you’ve had a solid job as a waitress to pay your trainer. That’s quite impressive.”

  “Thank you,” I said. I still frowned at them, not knowing where this was going.

  “I just want you to know, we’ve crunched the numbers as best as we could. And the best we can give you, right now, is a 75% scholarship,” Mr. Piper explained.

  A scholarship. It was just as Jeanine had said. It was the only way I could possibly make it.

  “As you know, the yearly tuition to Denver Athletics is $20,000 dollars,” Coach Jonathon said.

  Actually, I hadn’t known that. The number felt like a knife, tearing through my belly.

  I kind of gaped at him. They both exchanged a glance, almost like they were pleased with themselves for this huge offer.

  “If you think you can make up the other $5,000, then we would love to welcome you on September first,” Coach Jonathon announced. “I have a really good feeling about where you could take this school and your individual career. I hope you will seize this opportunity.”

  $5,000 dollars. How on earth was I going to make that up?

  “When would I need to pay that $5,000? Just for my records?” I asked them.

  “By mid-semester, around about,” Mr. Piper said. “We don’t really deal with that. It’s more of the treasury of the school.”

  I swallowed. I wanted to scream and tell them I hardly knew what $5,000 dollars looked like. I couldn’t even visualize it in my head.

  But I heard myself say the words, “I’ll find a way.”

  I then stuck out my right hand, still carrying Jeffrey with my left. Both men shook my hand and I felt more adult than I ever had before in my entire sixteen years.

  “That’s spectacular news,” Coach Jonathon said. “I knew you would come through.”

  “You always have. You’re a survivor,” Mr. Piper said and patted my shoulder.

  “I can’t wait to get started,” I said and smiled at both of them.

  “We’ll send you all the information you need,” Mr. Piper returned. “You’ll have it in the next two weeks.” Again, he glanced around the little house, the
n at Zach and Tyler, who eyed him suspiciously. He then cut his head back toward me and said, “It’ll be good to get out of here, though, won’t it?”

  I gave him a small smile but didn’t answer. The men sauntered out the way they came. I showed them to the door and watched them drive back in their expensive car—a Porsche—and then ease back to whichever Denver suburb they came from. The minute they disappeared, Jeffrey burst into his daily crying. It seemed to match how I felt on the inside. How the hell was I going to pay them that amount of money?

  Oh, but I had to do it. I had to save up. I would cram in as many shifts at the diner as I could over the next month, until September. I knew that once I started at Denver Athletics, there was no way I could make any cash on the side. It would be all work and no play. All concepts of anything else would have to be tossed out the window.

  Chapter Five

  About a week before I went to Denver Athletics, I walked a few blocks away to a payphone and called child protective services, for Jeffrey’s sake. I could generally trust Karla to keep the other kids out of harm’s way, but I wasn’t so sure about Jeffrey. I figured it was better safe than sorry. And I was about to kick my way out of there forever, I hoped, which meant I just had to pave their way to some kind of better future.

  The woman on the line was temperamental. Funny, I thought that she was the gateway between some kids and better lives. I stumbled as I said, “I think Karla Babcock should be investigated regarding the treatment of the young baby that is in her care.”

  The woman asked, “Karla, who?” in this rugged southern accent.

  “Karla Babcock,” I repeated. “I think it’s possible that she has one too many kids in her care.” I wanted to make sure the others weren’t separated. They had been together for a few years, at that point, and they were one another’s brothers and sisters, in a sense.