Faded Realms

by C. R. Jane

  I start from the beginning, from when I had my first dream about Beckham. I tell him about the specters and seeing my mother. I start to tell him about her dying and my voice chokes up as I retell it. My dream and visions of her have been so clear that it feels like I know her. He pulls me into his arms and buries his face in my hair, breathing me in as I talk. When I’ve finally told him everything leading up to my first visions of Aiden, I stop.

  “Is there more?” he asks quietly, the anger completely faded from his voice.

  “Yes,” I tell him. “But everything else involves Aiden.”

  I feel the pressure increase in his grip as he works to get his emotions under control. I hate the fact that my past can’t just include a few ex-boyfriends and instead involves Aiden, a psycho ex-husband who I just found out could be a god that I was created especially for.

  “Let’s go inside and you can tell me the rest,” he says. I was so absorbed in telling Damon about my dreams that I hadn’t even noticed that we had arrived back at the penthouse.

  As we walk through the lobby and towards the elevator, an open newspaper heading catches my eyes. “THREE MORE BODIES FOUND” it says in large, menacing letters. I’m about to grab it and read the story that accompanies it when the elevator bell rings, signaling its arrival. Damon pulls me into the elevator behind him and I promptly forget all about the headline as my nerves increase with the prospect of telling Damon all about my time with Aiden.

  The penthouse is quiet as we walk in and I remember that Lexi texted me almost in the middle of the night. Smart people, like Mason, are still sleeping.

  Damon leads me into his bedroom and I curl up in his arms, snuggling into his chest as I haltingly tell him about the events leading up to my wedding with Aiden and my time spent in his house of horrors. As I talk to him about Mason dying in my arms I can feel his sympathy. Out of the three of the guys, Damon would most know what it feels like to lose someone that you care deeply about as he had lost some of his closest friends during his soldier days.

  Talking about Aiden makes me feel all the emotions that I’m so confused about. Lying in Damon’s arms, it’s hard to picture myself feeling anything for Aiden, but it’s impossible to forget that there was something there between us in that dream world. Was it because I was made for him? Was he somehow inside of me?

  Leaving out the parts where I had kissed Aiden, I talked about the dreams within the dreams that I had while a captive of Aiden’s. Although I can’t be sure, I think those were actually the things that had happened in the past, and Aiden’s dream world was his way of trying to create the history; how he wished it had occurred, rather than how it did occur.

  When I’ve finally told him everything but what I’ve learned today, he’s quiet. Just when I think he’s fallen asleep, he surprises me with another question. “You haven’t had any visions about us?” he says, concern laced throughout his tone.

  “Not yet,” I tell him honestly. “I don’t think that it means anything though. There’s so much of my story that I still have no idea about. I’m beginning to think that nothing is by chance anymore, that my life is turning out how it was always fated to be. I was fated to love you,” I whisper to him, getting so close to him that our noses touch.

  His eyes close as if he’s in pain, but when he opens them back up, there’s a love in them so deep that I can’t see where it ends.

  “Eva,” he says, his voice more raw and emotional than I’ve ever heard. “I believe that with all of my heart that you’re my fated mate,” he tells me.

  I’m not sure what the term “fated mate” means, but the romantic way he says it makes me know I’m going to like whatever it is.

  He smiles at me softly and then strokes my lips with his thumb, sending shivers down my back. The good kind.

  “It means that out of everyone in the history of this world and all the others, only you were meant to be mine,” he says in answer to the question that must be in my eyes.

  I close my eyes to hide the emotions that I’m feeling. I want that more than anything, to have been fated to be with Damon, Mason, and Beckham. But what I discovered this morning means I wasn’t meant to be his. I was meant to be Aiden’s. Despite the fact that I’ve told him I’m not going to keep secrets anymore, I just know that this is one secret that we won’t be able to come back from. I lock it away inside of me, far from Damon’s inquiring reach.

  He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him down until our lips meet. A growl vibrates through his body as our tongues meet, and I shiver both at the sound and at the primal urgency of his touch as his hands slide down, grinding me against him. The kiss deepens, his tongue sweeping across my teeth before it thrusts inside my mouth, drawing out mine. He sucks it slowly until my legs wrap more tightly around his, my body desperately searching for relief from the mounting pressure that I’m starting to feel.

  Despite our clothing, I circle against him, rocking against him when I find the right spot. He lets me have my way, pushing me forward with his breathless moans that let me know that’s he’s feeling the same way that I am, that we’re in this together. When I finally fall, it feels so deep and all-encompassing that I don’t know that I’ll ever surface.

  Our clothes are both still on, but it feels like we’ve just taken a gigantic next step in our relationship. If just that was so good, what will it feel like when we finally make love?

  “How was that?” Damon whispers, nuzzling against my neck.

  “Amazing,” I tell him, still out of breath. “But did you…?”

  “Yes,” he says. “I should probably be embarrassed, but I’d like to see any man survive when faced with you coming apart in their arms,“ he says, sounding so happy and satisfied that I can’t help but laugh.

  After he gets up to clean himself off and change clothes, he gets back in bed, cuddling up behind me and getting as close to me as possible. I fall asleep wrapped in his warmth, fantasies of future nights with Damon filling my mind.

  Watching the light fade from Mason’s eyes is something that I’ll never forget. The piece of my heart that he took with him can never be replaced.

  I sit on the window seat in my room, watching the bonfire that they’ve built in the nearby field to burn the bodies of Mason’s army. Despite the fact that they all surrendered the second Mason was killed, Aiden ordered them all to be struck down. The air carries the sick stench of burning flesh and I know that Aiden ordered them to be burned close to the palace so that we would smell it. He wanted to remind all of us who holds the power now.

  There’s a burning inside me. It snakes through my veins, destroying any of the good traits that I once held. I am nothing but anger and hatred. The overwhelming desire for vengeance is all I can think about, all I can feel. All of the hopes and dreams I once held are gone.

  I have lost everything that I have ever loved.

  A knock sounds on my door. I’ve been locked in here for days until he decides what he’s going to do to me. Maybe it’s finally him, here to hand down my punishment. The lock clicks and I brace myself for the sight of his face. Much to my surprise and delight, it’s Lexi.

  “Lexi?” I sob, unable to believe that she’s actually walking into the room, looking slightly worse for the wear, but actually here. She’s dressed in all black, her long, strawberry blonde hair braided down her back. She looks at me stoically for a moment before her face crumples and she runs at me, throwing her arms around me and letting out a torrent of tears that immediately soak the top of my dress.

  “Your Majesty,” she says, pulling me closer.

  I pull away from her. Lexi had been searching for the magic that we would need to stop the curse on Fairie. If she was here…did that mean?

  “Did you find something?” I whisper, trying to hold back the hope pummeling at my heart.

  “I think I found someone rather than something,” she says, excitement and hope glimmering in her eyes.

  The bui
lding light inside of me extinguishes with a harsh gasp at her pronouncement.

  “Lexi, there’s no one that can help us,” I tell her in frustration. “You were supposed to stay away, stay in a safe place until one of us found something. If he decides to keep you here too. I…” I leave the rest of the sentence unspoken, the prospect too hard to think about.

  She walks towards me, her face earnest in her plea. “I know he can help,” she says.

  “I don’t want to bring anyone else into this mess,” I say, tears catching in my throat. She takes a step back from me, shocked.

  Although it’s been so good to see her, I realize that I’ve lived a thousand lives since we last saw each other. She knows nothing about what I’ve gone through here. She knows nothing about Mason.

  “Beckham asks about you constantly,” she says, as if that will convince me to go forward with her plan.

  “Does he?” I state absentmindedly, staring off through the window at the encroaching line of black on the horizon. “I’ve heard that he’s found someone, is that true?”

  “There is a young widow that he has been seen with,” she says hesitantly, knowing that she’s ripping out parts of my heart with her words. “I don’t think it’s anything serious. He’s been lonely.”

  I give a soft, cruel laugh. Lonely. I know all about that. Turning my thoughts away from Beckham I stiffen my resolve not to bring anyone else into my problems. I must say as much because then Lexi is striding towards me, furious.

  “This isn’t just your problem, Your Majesty,” she says heatedly. “This is the fate of an entire world that we’re dealing with.”

  “The fate of my world,” I snap back at her. “I am the Queen. This is my responsibility.”

  “You don’t have to do this alone. I think Damon can help us,” she says fervently.

  The name “Damon” sends a flutter through my chest inexplicably. As far as I can recall, I’ve never met a fae named Damon so there shouldn’t be this wave of recognition. Regardless, it’s unlikely that he can help.

  “Just get out of here while you still can,” I tell her, striding towards the door to make sure that it’s still unlocked.

  “Eva,” Lexi says stubbornly.

  “Get out!” I say more forcefully, and I ignore the pang I feel at the sight of her crestfallen face.

  “You’re not alone,” she says as she slips out the door. I’m tempted to follow her while the door is unlocked, and Aiden doesn’t seem to be around, but I restrain myself. Only hellfire and damnation would fall upon me if I tried to run.

  I don’t rest until I see Lexi ride off and disappear from sight. I wish fervently that I could go with her.

  A guard appears the next morning to let me out of the room that has been unlocked since Lexi left. He leads me down to the gardens informing me that I am allowed thirty minutes of garden time today. I’m tempted to light him on fire for his pompous attitude, but I summon some of the last vestiges of my patience to refrain myself. Just a little longer, I tell myself. Before I drift off to troubled dreams every night, I go through everything that will happen when I’m finally able to display my powers. Killing this guard has just been added to the list that I’ve been keeping. I sit on a bench. I’m exhausted. I feel immeasurably ancient.

  I reach out and test the energy of the land, seeing how much the sickness has affected it today. I want to weep when I can barely feel any energy coming from it. The land feebly cries out for help under my touch. I quickly withdraw from my connection with the land, the pain that it’s experiencing too much for me to handle. I won’t be able to wait much longer.

  I experience a moment of panic. I don’t have a handle on my power yet. Since Mother delayed so much in teaching me, wanting me to have as normal of a childhood as I could, I started out with almost no knowledge. I’ve come so far, but not far enough.

  Suddenly, I feel a new presence in the garden. I look up and see the dark shadow of someone partially concealed in the trees. At first, I think it's Aiden and my stomach rolls with disgust, but upon closer look I realize that it's someone else.

  A striking someone else.

  I start to get butterflies and I’m disgusted with myself, one of the loves of my life is not even cold in the ground yet. The man lounges against a tree, his face lined in the shadows. Even from here though I can see the trace of his strong jaw and a hint of green in his eyes. Authority and virility radiate from him and my traitorous body responds to him, moving me towards him even though I should have learned by now that anything I find on these palace grounds is dangerous.

  It hardly seems fair to my heart that he’s so gorgeous. I’ve had enough of beautiful men, who would have guessed that a third man existed with the power to drag me to hell. He has a face that would make angels weep and gods go to war. Sharp, chiseled features highlighted by tan skin speak of a lifetime spent in the sun. His dark hair isn’t a result of the shadows he stands in. It was black and tousled into a mess that had me imagining tangling my hands through it. For a brief second, I pictured grabbing it as my body pressed against his.

  What is wrong with you, I ask myself. Reacting to a stranger like this is not only inappropriate, but embarrassing...even if he can’t read my mind. Of course, from the arrogant but seductive curve of his smile, this beautiful man knows exactly what I’m thinking. The smile stops at his eyes however. They blaze with a fierce anger that catches me off guard. I feel the hunger in his gaze that he doesn’t want to have. It echoes my own and desire tightens across my belly. Whoever this being is, I need to keep my distance. I can feel it.

  Before I can follow my instinct, Lexi steps out from behind another tree. She’s wringing her hands like she does when she’s nervous, but she has a determined look on her face.

  “What are you doing here? I ordered you to leave. Or do you not listen to your Queen anymore either?” I snap, annoyed that she hasn’t gotten herself to safety yet.

  Her stride falters but she doesn’t give up, walking closer to me. “I knew you wouldn’t voluntarily accept help,” she says softly. “So I brought help to you. This is General Pierce,” she says, gesturing to the man still hovering in the shadows.

  “Just Damon will do,” he says in a cultured voice that sends goosebumps down my spine, his gaze still burning into me. It flusters me, my emotions waffling between annoyance and girlish excitement, something I didn’t know I was capable of feeling anymore. Something that I shouldn’t be capable of anymore.

  “So you’re the illustrious Queen of Fairie,” he says, stepping into the light, revealing his striking face further as his full, pouty lips twitch and curve into a wicked smile, flashing me a row of perfect teeth.

  Blood rushes to my cheeks in a hot flash of embarrassment as I think of how far I’ve fallen from grace as of late. Despite the vicious bite in his comment, I suddenly get the urge to kiss that wild smirk off his face. I shake the fantasy from my mind. Like how it was with Mason and Beckham from the very beginning, he’s familiar to me in a way that I don’t understand. I would have remembered him if I had met him before. Even with Beckham or Mason in the picture there’s no way that I wouldn’t have missed those intense green eyes or that shock of dark hair that skirts the line between proprietary and renegade. Between the broad shoulders trapped in some sort of armor, and the awe-inducing face, he isn’t a man that I would easily forget. So how could I know him...yet not know him? My gaze lingers at his lips, for a second losing myself in a day dream about what it would be like to feel them against mine. My teeth sink into my lower lip at the thought. Who is this man?

  But is he just a man? It’s hard to tell. Gazing across his features I can tell that he’s not fae. The power emanating from him is not the same as Mason’s either, ruling out incubus. There’s a myriad of other creatures he could be, leaving me curious about which one he is.

  His eyebrow cocks as I continue to stare, and I look away, cursing myself. Of course, with his looks, there’s no way that he isn’t stared at quite often.<
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  “Your services are not needed, General,” I tell him, wanting him to feel an ounce of the humiliation coursing through me. Even as I say it though, I know I don’t want him to leave.

  He randomly skips a rock across the pond we’re standing by, his movement so smooth and self-assured that it’s no surprise when it keeps skipping until it crosses the entire thing. I feel increasingly sure that I know him, and I suddenly don’t appreciate him pretending otherwise.

  “Where have we met before?” I ask him, the annoyance clear in my tone.

  “I think I would remember you,” he says, his eyes flickering as he speaks, the magnetic energy of them growing in intensity, sending a tremble quivering through me. “It’s more likely that my reputation has preceded me,” he says, a shadow of pain momentarily flashing across his face.

  “And what is that reputation?” I ask.

  “The highest-ranking angel to ever fall save Lucifer himself,” he says matter-of-factly, as if he hasn’t just announced that he’s a fallen angel.

  I stiffen immediately. Although I’ve never met a fallen angel before, their reputation certainly proceeds them. A reputation for being creatures that one should stay very, very far away from.

  I instinctively raise my hands, my power starting to crackle in my fingertips.

  “Your Majesty!” cries Lexi in horror at my behavior.

  In the back of my mind I know I should probably ask more questions, or at least be more concerned that one of Aiden’s guards could be watching me and will be able to report back to Aiden about my power, but the rest of my body doesn’t feel like listening.

  The fallen angel is watching me aptly, as if I’m an exhibit he’s interested in rather than someone who’s about to blast him into the hereafter. Right before I’m about to strike, I make the mistake of looking into his emerald eyes. A surge of electricity, that doesn’t come from me, passes between us. The air around me practically crackles as a strange sensation seeps into my veins, spreading until I feel dizzy. Desire swims through my blood, pooling in my body.