Teacher
Page 17
“Just go with it. Put my cock inside that tight cunt and ride me.”
Her lips parted, and the green in her eyes almost disappeared as she lifted up, gripping my dick to position it at her opening. Achingly slow, she slid down my length until I filled her to the hilt.
“Oh, fuck, Hanna. Yes, baby.”
Helping her get started, I held on to her hips and shifted her back and forth. That was all she needed.
She fell forward with a moan, resting her palms on my chest and lifted up just to sink down again.
Again, and again, she rode me, finding a rhythm that drove us both fucking insane.
“Fuck, Hanna. Look at you.”
She bit her lip and dropped her eyes from mine, not stopping. Reaching up, I brushed her hair back and waited for her to look at me.
“You’re a fucking queen. Taking my cock however you want.”
Her lush lip popped free, and she smiled, picking up the pace. She leaned back with the most delicious smirk on her mouth. Her back arched, making her bouncing tits all I saw. Needing to taste her, I sat up and latched on, wrapping my arm around her waist to help her ride me harder.
We lost our rhythm, a mass of need and desire twisted together, racing for the finish.
She whimpered and ground on me with each pass, and I needed her to come before I lost my control and came first. I slid my hand between our bodies, pinching her slick clit between my fingers as I bit around her breasts.
“Daniel, Daniel. Yes. Fuck. I’m coming.”
“That’s it, baby. Feel it. Fuck me.”
She wrapped her arms around my head and went wild, screaming her pleasure, ripping my own orgasm from me. I groaned into her skin and dug my hands into her back, needing to hold her to me.
“Wow,” she breathed.
I kissed my way up her chest to her lips. I didn’t know how long we were keeping the kissing around, but I planned on taking full advantage of tasting her lips every chance I got. She didn’t hesitate, sliding her tongue into my mouth, feeding off my own desperation.
“You were amazing,” I said against her lips.
“Yeah?”
“Fuck, yeah. Like I said. A queen in control of all she wants.”
Her lips spread against mine, and it felt like heaven. Her in my arms, my cock still inside her pussy, filled with my cum. Her soft breasts against my hard chest. Our arms locked tight around each other like we never wanted to let go.
Perfection.
“Okay, so now what should we do?” she asked.
“How about a swim?”
“That sounds really good.”
“Now.”
“Ummm…” she stuttered, her eyes shooting wide when I flipped her over and climbed out of bed in all my naked glory. “What?” she squeaked.
“Come on. We’ve got the ocean at our fingertips and a private pool even closer. Let’s take a swim.”
My smile grew when she couldn’t stop her eyes from scanning my body, watching each step I made closer to the pool.
“I should get my suit. Someone may see.”
“No one will see. But if you want us to wear our suits, we can.” I wanted to push her, but just because she let me into her body didn’t mean all her fears vanished around me. She always needed to know she had an out.
She sat up, holding the sheet to her chest and nibbled her lips, watching me put both feet in the water, slowly progressing down the steps. Her eyes dropped to my semi-hard cock, and I shrugged. “You make me feel like a teenage boy. You’re damn sexy in the morning.”
She blushed and dropped her head, but not before I saw her lips twitch into a smile. I’d sunk down into the water, pushing back to the other side when she finally made her decision.
“Ugh, fine,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. She whipped the sheet back and held one arm across her breasts, doing nothing to hide their bounce with each step, and one hand over her pussy, as she tiptoed her way over to the pool, looking both ways like someone would pop out at any moment.
“Don’t laugh at me,” she reprimanded, sinking up to her neck in the water.
“Me? I’d never laugh at you.”
She rolled her eyes and splashed me with water before sitting on the bench under the water. She closed her eyes and breathed deep, opening them on an exhale to stare out at the ocean. “This is beautiful.”
“It is,” I agreed, looking at her, my back to the ocean.
She blushed but cocked a brow and pursed her lips. “Way to be corny,” she deadpanned.
I shrugged and made my way to sit beside her. “I’m just telling the truth.”
She splashed me again, and I shifted to grip her waist, pulling her out to the middle of the infinity pool.
“Don’t you dare.”
“What? Don’t do what?” I asked innocently, jerking her like I would dunk her.
She squealed and clung tight to my shoulders, wrapping her legs around my waist. We both froze when my dick brushed against her bottom, and her heat pressed to my stomach.
“Sorry,” she whispered, looking achingly unsure of herself.
“Me too.”
She cocked her head to the side, unsure what I was apologizing about, only getting a second to catch her breath before I dunked us both.
“Dammit, Daniel.” She brushed her hair out of her face and slapped my shoulder.
I pretended I would do it again and laughed at more of her high-pitch threats. Anything to keep my focus away from her soft breasts pressed to my chest. I didn’t want to scare her with how much I wanted her.
Removing temptation, I sat her back on the bench and went to sit beside her again. We sat in silence, watching the sun glint off the clear ocean, enjoying the peaceful moment.
I didn’t know what prompted me to ask, but the nightmare from this morning came back, and curiosity got the best of me. Maybe the progress we’d made on the mountain. Maybe the voice in the back of my head that kept pushing me to make it all better before it was too late. “Why don’t you talk at the charity event?”
She stiffened beside me, and the air around us changed. “Because I don’t need to. There are plenty of other women who have a story to tell.”
“So do you.”
“And I’ve talked to my therapist about it. I don’t need to tell everyone.”
“Like I said, maybe it’d be good to talk to like-minded people. To own what happened.”
Her hair whipped the side of my face with the force she turned to look at me. “I don’t want to own it,” she snapped.
I should have stopped there, but my stupid misplaced need to get my point across rose above rational thought. “I’m just saying, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe it would help.”
“How would telling everyone I was raped almost every day for four fucking months help? Hmm, Daniel?”
Her words landed like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of me. It’s one thing to know what happened without the details. You can just pin it down to a bad thing and never think too much on it. It can remain a blurred image if you don’t look at it too hard. It’s entirely different to have the details laid out to where you can’t do anything but acknowledge them. And that’s what I had to do. I had to acknowledge that Hanna had been raped. Not once or twice, but over and over, and for the first time since meeting her, I wasn’t able to hide my shock. I wasn’t able to gloss over and pretend nothing happened.
“I just thought it would show how strong you were,” I answered lamely.
For as weak as my words were, hers were just as strong—fueled by anger. “I wasn’t fucking strong, Daniel. I wanted to die every fucking day. I prayed for it—begged for it to be over, any way possible. Sofia was the one that wanted to survive—who never gave up. But fuck both of us because she died, and I didn’t.”
More truths bringing me to my knees. It seemed I got Hanna to open her box, but it wasn’t going the way I’d imagined. It didn’t feel like helping. Was I making it worse? Was this a mistake? Was this
what I had done to Sabrina—made it worse? Panic pressed on my chest; the euphoria of the morning gone.
“Hanna,” I almost pleaded with her to hear me—to hear what I realized she couldn’t see in herself. “You are surviving. You’re here living your life even when it’s hard. Talking to others lets them know it’s possible. It gives you something to be proud of.”
She was beyond hearing me. She’d scooted back, her shoulders tight, and her jaw clenched. “What about you?” she practically sneered. “Have you let it out?”
Warnings went off in my head, and I squared my own shoulders. I didn’t like being cornered, and Hanna was doing her best to get out of the corner I’d put her in, by forcing me into my own. I’d opened myself to her to make her feel safe enough to open to me. I hadn’t done it to be psychoanalyzed. I didn’t need to talk about Sabrina. I didn’t want to.
I braced myself, fortifying my walls, knowing how I lashed out when Sabrina was brought up outside of my control and not wanting to do it to her just because she was hurting from the mess I put us in. “I don’t have anything to let out.”
“Really?” she asked, slapping the water. “You don’t talk about your precious Sabrina.”
“That doesn’t hold me back,” I ground out—I lied.
She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Says the man who didn’t even mention she died. Are you even honest with yourself about her, Daniel? Or do you tell yourself it’s fine?” She pushed harder, her anger hitting me in my weakest spots. “Says the man who wants to be alone his whole life to avoid getting hurt. That seems rational and not at all keeping you from living life. You pretend you don’t have a box you shove everything into. Like you don’t lie to yourself just like everyone else.”
Crack.
Just like that, she broke through the flimsy walls. I hadn’t had enough time to erect them—my guard down—and she reached the raw anger underneath.
“This isn’t about me. All of this is for you. You needed my help. You asked for it. I didn’t ask for you and your sad attempt to help me to avoid your own issues. Because that’s what you do, Hanna. Avoid. Your. Issues.”
Hanna sat back and lifted her chin, looking down her nose at me, as if she could get high enough, I wouldn’t be able to see the pain glossing over her eyes. She didn’t even lash back. She merely pulled her shoulders back and turned to leave, not bothering to cover herself as she climbed the stairs.
I let her go.
I’d fucked up and ruined the morning but was too mad—too vulnerable—to go after her right now. I knew I’d apologize for being an epic dick, but I just needed to breathe.
The bathroom door slammed, and I cringed, hating myself. Panic gripped me when I thought maybe I’d pushed too far too fast after everything we’d done in the last twenty-four hours. My lungs seized with fear that maybe I’d thrown everything at her when she was at her weakest, and now she was in the bathroom doing God knew what.
I just wanted you to love me. But I wasn’t good enough. I loved you so much, Daniel. Why couldn’t you have loved me? I wanted to spend forever with you. Be your wife. I could have waited for you to be ready. I know we’re young, but no one was ever going to want me like I am. I wanted to wait for you, but I needed to do it as more than your friend. I know I said I was fine, but I’m not. I needed more. You’re all I have and if you couldn’t love me. No one will. And I can’t live with that. I’m never going to be good enough. Never. So, why bother. I can’t do it anymore. It’s too hard. Life is too hard. My mind is too hard to live with. I just wanted to love you. I wanted you to love me. I can’t do this. I’m sorry. Even if you don’t love me, I’ll always love you.
She’d killed herself that night when I went out with Kent.
Bile rose up my throat, and I almost fell on the deck in my rush to run to the bathroom. I slammed against the door, ready to fling it open, only to find it locked.
“Hanna,” I shouted, slapping my palms to the door. “Hanna. Open up, baby. I’m sorry. Please, open up.” Sweat beaded on my forehead, and I took in the door, looking for the weak spot to break it open. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Hanna. Talk to me. Please.”
I shook the handle, the adrenaline flooding my muscles, making me feel like I could rip it off.
I didn’t need to worry about it because, in the next instant, the door flung open. Hanna stood with a towel wrapped around her body, her hair sopping wet, hanging down her back. Her beautiful green eyes wide in shock.
Without any thought at all, I yanked her into my arms, squeezing her too tight, but not caring.
“Daniel? What the hell?” she asked with no heat.
“I’m sorry I pushed. I just wanted to help, and I pushed too hard, and I snapped when I shouldn’t have.”
She pushed against my chest, but held on to my arms, looking up with furrowed brows. I could only imagine what I looked like. I could only imagine the wild fear marring my features.
“Are you okay?” she asked slowly.
Swallowing, I take deep breath after deep breath to get myself under control. “Yeah,” I breathed. “I’m sorry I snapped. And you stormed off, and I panicked. I just worried when you locked yourself in here—I just…”
I just worried you’d hurt yourself like Sabrina, and it would be all my fault.
I couldn’t admit it, but I think she understood because her hands slowly moved up and down to soothe me.
“I’m okay. I think we both just needed to cool down.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and took another deep breath, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry. Really fucking sorry. I lashed out, and it was wrong. You know I want to help you. Hell, I offered, and I’m a gigantic asshole for making you question that. I’m sorry.”
Her shoulders relaxed, and the Hanna from the past few months shined through a little more than moments ago.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
She nodded. “You shouldn’t have. And I shouldn’t have pushed you either. I’m sorry, too.”
“I just worry. I like you. And as you pointed out, I’m aware of how shit can break free at the worst time.” If I wasn’t aware of that before, my near panic from seconds ago made it clear as day. “I don’t want that for you.”
She stepped out of my arms and crossed her own across her chest but looked more open like she had this morning. “I understand. I guess I can appreciate you looking out for me,” she said with a small smile. “Just not today.”
“I can agree to that.”
I ran my hands through my hair and became very aware of the fact that I was still naked. Especially when her eyes dropped down my body, and she flushed.
“So, what now?” she asked softly.
“How about you finish getting ready, and we check out the island activities?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“I’m sorry again,” I said before she could close the door. I could see the doubt still lingering from our argument. Maybe that was why I let another one of my truths free. “I’m sorry for thinking the worst when you stormed off. I guess my past snuck up on me when I least expected it. I just wanted to make sure you were fine.”
Her green eyes softened in understanding. “It’s okay. I promise you, Daniel. I’m fine.”
That’s what she said too.
22
Hanna
“You can do this, Hanna. Just go up. Drop the papers off. Act like nothing happened. Ignore the big brother knowing glare.”
I stood behind my office door, a stack of papers firmly in my grip, and pep talked myself into heading upstairs.
I got back on Saturday and skipped the family dinner last night because I wasn’t sure my week away with Daniel wouldn’t be written all over my face. I dreaded the thought of them knowing I slept with him. I dreaded them knowing that I’d begun falling for him.
I dreaded anyone knowing that.
Especially Daniel, the man who didn’t do relationships.
We’d promised friendship and no
feelings, and here I was, trying to calm my racing heart just thinking of him.
I couldn’t even blame it on the sex. This feeling, these butterflies and warmth, and tingling awareness had been there for a while. A slow build that consumed me on this trip. The sex had only made it so apparent, not even I could deny it anymore.
And if I couldn’t deny it, how the hell was I supposed to hide it?
“Ugh.” I barely managed to stop from banging my head on the door. Taking a deep breath, I stood up straight, shoulders back, chin high. “I can do this. I can be a blank face. No one has to know anything. If worse comes to worst, just run away. Totally rational.”
Having talked myself up enough, I opened the door and proceeded to walk right into a wall, dropping my stack of papers.
“Oh, shit.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” we said at the same time.
Sean crouched down with me to help me stack the papers.
“It’s totally my fault. I was in a zone,” I excused.
“No, no. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
We stood, and I finally met his blue eyes, so much darker than Daniel’s. He gave a soft smile, bringing out the dimple I used to get lost staring at. Now, I found myself looking past him, down the hall to where I needed to go.
“How was your trip?”
“Oh, good,” I said, bringing my attention back to him.
“We—I missed you around the office.”
His words were soft, only for me, and my cheeks flamed at the intimacy. A couple of weeks ago, I was desperate to flirt with this man, to find the courage to go on a date with him, but now all I saw when I looked at him was not Daniel.
Trying to hide my reaction, I dropped my head, looking at the floor. “Yeah, it was a long trip. But my first vacation. So, yeah.”
My cheeks flamed hotter with each stuttering word. This time it wasn’t because of a rush of adrenaline thinking about flirting with him, but more about how unbelievably awkward I felt. I needed to get going before I made it worse.
“Well, I should—”