Fragile Wings

by Rebecca S. Buck

  “Only the best for Jos and her friends.” Adalfieri looked at Evelyn with a knowing look in his eye. “It’s good to meet you, Miss Hopkins.”

  “You too.” Evelyn smiled, although she still looked slightly uncomfortable. Perhaps it had been a mistake to bring her here and subject her to Adalfi. Somewhere anonymous might have been easier. But she wanted to share things with Evelyn, including her favourite restaurant.

  “I’ve not seen you before, I don’t think.” Trust Adalfi to be nosey, Jos thought, glaring at him.

  “No, I’ve not been in London long,” Evelyn replied, with the air of someone who was getting used to giving this explanation. “I’m from Devon, but I’m staying for a while. Jos has been showing me her theatre today.”

  “Has she now? I’ve not had that honour myself yet.” Adalfieri raised an eyebrow in Jos’s direction.

  “You’ve never asked,” Jos retorted. She loved him but wished she could tell him that today was not a good day for teasing. So he’d seen her bring other women here. This was different. “You know I’d show you around, if you wanted.”

  “Of course, of course, mio caro.” Adalfieri narrowed his eyes, as if trying to discern more about the nature of Jos and Evelyn’s relationship. Well, she would fill him in later, but this was not the time.

  “We’d like a table for two, please, Adalfi. What are your specials this evening?”

  “Your favourite table, by the window, is free. In fact, they’re all free right now, you might notice—you’re early.” Adalfieri led them towards a small circular table with a pristine white cloth. There was a single evergreen sprig in the vase on the table, which was already set with silver cutlery. Each dark wood carved-back chair had a green cushion on the seat. Evelyn and Jos followed him, and sat as he pulled the chairs out for them, Evelyn followed by Jos. “Today’s specials are the salmon or the beef. Would you like to see the menu?”

  “I’m happy with the salmon,” Jos said. “I recommend it, Evie, if you trust me?”

  “Of course. I’ll take the salmon too, please.” Evelyn smiled and Jos could not help responding in kind, even though they were only choosing food in a restaurant. Even the most mundane activities took on a new colour and excitement when Evelyn was involved. Usually she felt as though she was fighting an uphill battle to impress a woman. With Evelyn it was easy to just be herself. She hoped that would last through the evening.

  *

  Evelyn enjoyed the meal with Jos. The food was as delicious as promised and she found the comical, teasing intrusions of Adalfi, as she was told to call him, into their meal to be a fun diversion. Although she found it very easy to talk to Jos, she sensed they were both glad to be distracted from a focus on just each other. However interesting she found Jos, however intrigued and compelled she was by her own feelings, to spend an entire day with someone she did not know very well, and whose sentiments she was constantly trying to read, was rather intense. Aldafi’s constant good humour and inability to stop himself interjecting in their conversation lightened the tone considerably. She had the opportunity to observe the fun side of Jos’s personality. She could tease and be teased with equal good humour and wit. She laughed easily and did not back down. But her affection for Adalfi was very clear. Evelyn could tell then that Jos was nothing if not loyal, and compassionate towards those who returned those sentiments. She admired both traits.

  Jos had a depth to her character she’d not been able to discover in anyone in London yet. Lilian was often nothing short of vacuous, James too reserved to reveal his true self. Dorothy liked to postulate and her intelligence seemed formidable, but it was very difficult to know what she really thought or felt. Vernon was a witty flirt but she knew nothing more of him. Jos had so much more to her. It was a depth that she longed to explore.

  In some ways, Evelyn rather regretted the conclusion of the meal. A few more patrons had joined them in Adalfi’s restaurant but the ambience was still peaceful and relaxing. She felt comfortable here with Jos and Adalfi, as though she had known them much longer than she had. She felt accepted by them. Adalfi had not cast a gaze of approbation over her outfit and decided she was not fashionable enough, or questioned her on her reasons for being in London. He clearly accepted Jos for who she was, and some of his jokes suggested that there wasn’t much about her that he didn’t know. He would not have been the sort of close friend Evelyn would have expected Jos to have, and yet he seemed to be a perfect counterbalance to her. When she was serious, he made her laugh; when that tension rose in her shoulders, he softened his tone and was gentle.

  Adalfi was clearly a perceptive man, but he also undersood Jos, cared for her. This warmed Evelyn to him greatly. Apart from Vernon, Jos did not seem like someone who had a lot of people to care for her, or someone who sought out affection easily. But this didn’t seem to stop Adalfi. Evelyn hoped very much that this would not be the last time she got to spend time with the restaurant owner.

  Jos paid for the meal, despite Evelyn’s insistance that she had enough money to contribute. As they were leaving, Adalfi asked what their plans were for the rest of the evening.

  “We’re off to Clifford Street. Courtney demanded a house party. It’s been at least a month since her last one.”

  “And Clara wouldn’t dream of denying her anything.” Adalfi laughed good-naturedly. “Tell them I haven’t seen them for a long time. I’m offended.”

  “I will do. I’m sure they’ll be along before too long.”

  “Tell them if they’re not, I will no longer guarantee them their favourite table.”

  “I’m sure such a dastardly threat will bring them to your door grovelling for forgiveness.” Jos winked at Adalfi. “I’ll bring them along myself one night soon. I miss you when I don’t see you, you old goat.”

  “Perhaps I’ll see all four of you,” Adalfi replied, with a suggestive look at Evelyn, which made her shift awkwardly in her chair.

  “Maybe you will,” said Jos, a little more subdued now. Evelyn wondered what Jos had felt upon hearing Adalfi’s suggestion. “Anyway, we haven’t seen anything of Vito this evening, I notice.”

  “It’s his day off. And that’s quite enough questions, I think.” Adalfi’s eyes were twinkling and he had blushed slightly.

  “I’ll let you off this time, but next time I want the whole story,” Jos said.

  “If there is a story to tell, you will be the first to know,” Adalfi promised. Evelyn was simply doing her best to understand the conversation. She thought she understood the gist of it and suddenly looked at Adalfi in a new light. Was he one of those men Lilian had mentioned, forced to break the law simply to fulfil their love for one another? If so, it seemed terribly unfair. Adalfi was a kind-natured man, certainly not someone who seemed likely to behave in a way that was obscene or abnormal, as it had been implied. Suddenly she felt dreadfully sorry for him, although he seemed happy enough.

  “That’s all I need to know for now then,” Jos said. She rose to her feet. “Now Evie and I must be going, or else poor Courtney will be bursting with anxiety. She hates it when guests are late.”

  Evelyn rose and accepted Jos’s help with her coat. Jos kissed Adalfi on the cheek in parting, and when he reached for her hand, Evelyn copied the gesture, keen to demonstrate her approval of Adalfi, who she had genuinely enjoyed meeting. “The food was delicious and it was really lovely to meet you,” she said. “I’m sure it won’t be the last time.”

  “I very much hope that’s the case.” Adalfi smiled as Evelyn turned to follow Jos from the restaurant.

  The walk from the restaurant to Courtney and Clara’s flat on Clifford Street was no more than ten minutes. When Evelyn saw the sign which told her they were on Savile Row, she could not help a flutter of excitement.

  “Savile Row!” she exclaimed.

  Jos looked at her curiously. “Yes, it is.”

  “It’s famous. I read about Dr. Livingstone lying in state in the headquarters of the Royal Geographical Society here. And Sh
eridan lived here somewhere. And of course, there’s all the tailors.” Evelyn looked about her, gratified that the first shopfront she laid eyes on was a very upmarket gentleman’s tailor.

  Jos was smiling at her, her eyes dancing. “I forget how new and special this all is to you, Evie. It’s wonderful. I don’t know that I’ve ever really known anyone get excited walking along a street before.”

  Evelyn was a little embarassed, though Jos’s tone did not suggest any notion of ridicule. “I’m sorry, it’s not even that it’s new, it’s just there are places that seem almost mythical. You know, you read about them in books or newspapers but don’t expect to see them. And it’s not even the great buildings like Westminster Abbey or Buckingham Palace. You know they’re real, they’re the places the tourists go to see. But a street, a simple street, where so many important people have walked, going about the day-to-day business that makes up our history…they’re the places you don’t think to ask to see, the places no one takes you to when they say you’re going sightseeing. But in some ways they’re more special. Now I’m just one of those people who have walked along Savile Row too. It feels important.” Evelyn looked to Jos for a response.

  “I suppose when you grow up in London, you just accept those things. But I can understand why it would be exciting for you. And I think it’s wonderful that you’re excited about it.”

  “You don’t think it makes me rather naive and silly?” It was the first time Evelyn had voiced a question that played on her mind time and time again since she had come to London.

  Jos stopped in the street and turned to face Evelyn properly. She looked into her eyes earnestly. “Evie, you are one of the least silly women I’ve ever encountered. You are far from naive. You might be innocent in the ways of this corrupt urban world, but you’re not naive. You’re bright and observant and perceptive. And everything you experience here only makes you more complex and fascinating.”

  Jos caught her breath as the last word slipped from her lips. Evelyn noticed this, and the sudden tensioning of Jos’s whole frame. She blinked and looked back at Jos, feeling more naive than ever as she found herself entirely unequippped to deal with Jos’s compliment, clearly not one she had meant to voice there and then.

  “You think I’m fascinating?” she said finally, in a quiet voice, barely daring to ask the question.

  Jos took a deep breath. “Yes, Evie, I do. Now, I don’t know how aware you are of, well, of me and of how I—”

  Evelyn knew Jos was about to attempt to tell her of her sensual inclinations. She did not need to be told. She had to be brave, to help Jos and to make it possible for either of them to take any further steps. “It’s all right. I know. I mean, I didn’t know it was something that even existed before I came to London and I don’t have the right words. But I know.” She said the words hurriedly, almost scared to breathe in between them, in case she came to a complete stop. “And I think you’re fascinating too.”

  Immediately she looked away, down at the stones of the pavement. She could not bear to look for Jos’s reaction, even though Jos had confessed her feelings first.

  Suddenly, Jos’s warm, strong fingers were underneath her chin, lifting her face gently, until they were once again looking in each other’s eyes. Jos held her gaze for a long time and Evelyn felt the allure of seeing deeper into Jos’s soul. She opened herself to Jos, let her read her hopes and fears in her expression.

  Eventually, Jos nodded softly. “Now that we’ve established that, what do you say we go to a party?”

  She smiled and the tension between them dissolved. “I think that sounds like the cat’s pyjamas.” Evelyn grinned.

  Jos rolled her eyes and offered her arm to Evelyn. Evelyn wrapped her hand around the crook of Jos’s elbow and they walked towards Courtney and Clara’s flat.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Clifford Street was a collection of grand red-brick Victorian villas. Many of them had shops or offices at street level and the upper levels were well-appointed flats. Clara and Courtney, who had no shortage of family money between them, lived in the upper two floors of a house about halfway along the street. Jos led Evelyn to the door, her heart and mind too full to know exactly how she was feeling in those moments. Simply to have Evelyn by her side, on her arm, and to know she had not misjudged the situation, that there was real potential between them, made her want to sing with joy. This feeling was so very different to her usual tired acknowledgement that a cynical society girl had a crush on her.

  Evelyn had grown quiet since their mutual confession, but it was not an uncomfortable or awkward silence.

  “This is a beautiful street,” Evelyn said. “It’s so funny, in London, even a street that’s not famous can be more spectacular than the whole of West Coombe.”

  Jos smiled. It was only natural that Evelyn would compare every new streetscape to her home, although in some ways she thought it would be easier for Evelyn if she thought of home a little less. “One day, I’ll take you to the East End, near the docks. It might make you think of West Coombe, since there’s a lot of boats there. Or you might find that not all of London compares favourably to West Coombe. You’ve only really seen the West End.”

  “I’d like to see more of it. Maybe the places the tourists don’t see.” Evelyn was enthusiastic and, Jos sensed, glad that they were able to make easy conversation despite the new tension that existed between them.

  “Oh, there’s plenty of those. Of many different types. For example, you wouldn’t get many tourists passing through this door.” They stopped outside the blue-painted door of Clara and Courtney’s residence and Jos rang the doorbell. Moments later, they were greeted by a young woman in the uniform of a maidservant. “Evening, Maggie, all right if we come in?” Jos greeted her.

  “Miss Singleton! Of course. They’re upstairs, in the salon. You’re to help yourself to food and drinks, so I can have my evening off.”

  “Of course. Any plans?” Jos liked Maggie, however uncomfortable she was around servants generally, having not grown up with domestic help herself. She wished Maggie would be a little less deferential, but Maggie seemed to see it as part of doing her job well. Clara and Courtney treated her with respect and she seemed happy enough. Now Jos was conscious of Evelyn observing her interaction with the maid and also aware of Maggie glancing at Evelyn, curiosity in her expression.

  “Nothing very special. I thought I might go to the cinema, but I’m rather tired so I might just make cocoa and read.”

  “You live a wild life, Maggie.”

  “Don’t I know it?” Maggie was almost staring at Evelyn now. “Miss Courtney didn’t say you were bringing anyone with you.”

  “No, well, she didn’t know and she won’t mind, I’m sure. This is Miss Evelyn Hopkins.”

  “Good to meet you, Miss Hopkins. Maggie Francis, I keep house for Miss Clara and Miss Courtney.”

  “Nice to meet you too,” Evelyn replied. Jos could sense her slight unease. Evelyn would naturally have even less experience dealing with servants than she had herself.

  “Well, now we’ve all met, let’s head upstairs, shall we?” Jos said, before Maggie could ask any questions. She took Evelyn’s arm and made for the flight of stairs that led to the flat above.

  Clara and Courtney’s apartment was rather upside down compared to the normal set-up of a house. The kitchen, bathroom, and bedrooms were all on the lower level, along with a very small sitting room and dining room, while the upstairs was given over to a large salon which made the most of the floor-to-ceiling windows with a view across the rooftops of Mayfair. The room was decorated immaculately in pale colours, which provided the perfect backdrop to Clara and Courtney’s collection of fine art. On the chimney breast was a particularly large and striking Expressionist painting, which Clara was convinced was a fine investment, however much Courtney protested that it was ugly. Jos couldn’t remember the artist Clara had named and had no wish to demonstrate her ignorance by asking for the information to be repeated.
She made no attempt to explain the room to Evelyn as they reached the top of the stairs, merely led her through the archway and into the salon, from where gramophone jazz was emanating, combined with the hum of several voices talking at once.

  A quick glance at Evelyn as they entered told Jos that she was paying little attention to the artwork on the walls and much more attention to the gathering of women in the room. Even though she was well known here, she found herself nervous on entering the room so conspicuously, so she couldn’t help but wonder how Evelyn felt, despite the smile she had conjured. There were about a dozen women in the room and all of them turned to see who had joined them. Jos knew them all and was met with smiles, immediately followed by intrigued and knowing looks regarding Evelyn by her side.

  “Jos!” came Courtney’s New York accented voice from near the fireplace, where a table had been set up bearing various spirits and plenty of glasses. “Now you’re here it’s a real party! And you’ve brought Evelyn too, how simply jazzy.”

  “You can make mine a scotch, Courtney,” Jos called back, grinning. Courtney’s charm really was irresistable.

  “But what about Evelyn?” This was Clara, who had risen to her feet and now came to stand next to Evelyn. “You don’t strike me as a scotch drinker, my dear.”

  Jos was relieved to see Evelyn smile, genuinely. Just as she’d thought. A strong woman who was not easily intimidated. Still Evelyn’s words drifted through her mind. I know…and I find you fascinating too. There was really no way to misintepret that. The only decision now was what she should do with that knowledge.

  *

  It had only taken Evelyn a moment to realise there were no men present at this gathering and another moment to make the correct assumption that these were women who were like Jos, Clara, and Courtney. She did not like, even in her head, to think of using James’s word, inverts, but she was not sure how else to describe them. Perhaps, she thought, she should be nervous in a room of such women. But she was not. She felt comfortable and welcomed. Besides, considering the feeling she had confessed to Jos, she was surely one of them, at least in intention if not in actuality. She liked the idea of finding women more like her. She was also excited to spend a whole evening with Jos, in a world where Jos seemed happy to be herself.