William Shakespeare's Avengers
Page 36
It work’d—I saw my home, my nest, mine all,
And heard my loving daughter, still alive. 80
It was the past, e’en as this is the present.
ROGERS
The how doth work, yet still we must untangle
The when and where of how t’acquire the Stones.
Near ev’ryone inside these headquarters
Hath had encounters with at least one of 85
The six Infinity Stones.
STARK
—If you will,
When Cap doth say “encounters,” let his words
On your imaginary forces work
And substitute the phrase “damn near kill’d by”
At least one of the six Infinity Stones. 90
LANG
I have not so, yet obfuscated is
My mind upon the subject as a whole,
For I know naught of Stones Infinity.
BANNER
Regardless, we’ve Pym particles enow
For just one round trip each, and these six Stones 95
Have trac’d a massive course through history,
Located in a thousand places each.
STARK
Interconnecting with our history,
Yet in some few spots inexpedient.
BARTON
We therefore must select our targets well, 100
Not peck at each and ev’ry spot in time.
STARK
Indeed.
ROGERS
—Let us begin, then, with the Aether.
What dost thou know, Thor?
[Thor, wearing sunglasses, remains seated and silent.
ROMANOFF
—Is he neath dark sleep?
RHODES
Nay, I am nearly certain he is dead.
THOR
[drunkenly:] O, where to start? The Aether is no Stone, 105
Though someone call’d it so a minute back.
[He points at Rogers.
’Tis more like angry sludge, a wicked thing,
Thus whosoe’er it was must not say “Stone.”
An interesting story I may share
About the Aether—not a Stone, attend— 110
My grandfather, full many years ago,
Once had to hide the Stone from dark elves rank.
Ooo, frightful beings they—are ye afeard?
Jane Foster, she an old, old friend of mine—
A lovely lady, fill’d with virtue quite— 115
She stuck her pretty hand inside a rock
And then the Aether, neither Stone nor rock,
Did stick itself inside of her, and she
Became most sick—near unto death, in truth.
Thus I took her unto my regal home, 120
E’en Asgard—’tis the kingdom whence I came—
And we attempted to revive the lass.
We then were paramours, we happy two,
And to my mother I presented Jane—
My mother, she who woefully is dead— 125
Now Jane and I no longer lovers are.
O, such as these things happen, do they not?
Naught lasts fore’er.
STARK
—I prithee, sit thee down.
THOR
Nay, I’m not finish’d with mine Aether tale,
Which is no Stone. Have I already said? 130
The only permanence in life, my friends,
It is, amazingly, impermanence.
STARK
Incredible, thy speech. Wouldst thou eat breakfast?
Some eggs and bacon?
THOR
—Bloody Mary, pray.
ROCKET
Let us discuss the Power Stone next. Quill reported 135
that he stole it from Morag.
BANNER
Is Morag, then, some strong, enormous person?
ROCKET
Nay, Morag is no person, but a planet. Quill was a
person—yea, and a friend.
LANG
A planet? E’en galactically far? 140
ROCKET
Look how Lang, like a puppy who hath newly found
its tail, is delighted beyond all measure. Wouldst go to
space, good puppy? Who hath been a good boy? I shall
take thee to space, belike a playpark there where thou
canst meet the other puppies. 145
NEBULA
The Soul Stone Thanos found on Vormir’s face.
ROMANOFF
And what is Vormir? Murky is my knowledge.
NEBULA
Dominion born of death, in th’midpoint of
Celestial existence. ’Tis the place
Where Thanos did my fearless sister murder. 150
LANG
Not it—a misadventure I’d avoid.
ROMANOFF
The Time Stone man who in the shadows dwelt—
BANNER
Methinks thou meanest the grand Doctor Strange.
ROMANOFF
What type of doctor he, ere his dark death?
STARK
In troth, ear-nose-throat meets rabbit-from-hat. 155
BANNER
His massive dwelling in the Village was
Quite lovely.
STARK
—I think ’twas on Sull’van Street?
BANNER
Nay, Bleecker. At the intersection large
With Sullivan.
ROMANOFF
—The doctor shady dwell’d
Within New York?
STARK
—It was Toronto, ha! 160
Hast thou been listening to anything?
ROMANOFF
Nay, mock me not, thou ever-prating fool,
Yet hear this revelation: if we choose
The perfect year, three Stones are in New York.
BANNER
Shut thou the front door—this is huge, forsooth! 165
ROGERS
A plan doth form. The Soul and Power Stones
Reside far-flung on Morag and Vormir.
Th’Reality Stone is in Asgard found,
But Space Stone, Mind Stone, and the Time Stone wait,
In New York. Thus: six Stones, three teams, one chance. 170
Let us unto the portal presently.
[They all suit up and begin walking toward the portal.
Five years ago we were defeated quite.
Each one of us lost friends and family,
A portion of ourselves we ne’er could salvage.
This day, we have the opportunity 175
To take it back. Ye know your teams and missions—
The Stones we shall reclaim, one round trip each,
No latitude for errors or mistakes.
Most of us venture someplace we know well,
Yet still may not know what we should expect. 180
Be cautious, friends, and care for one another.
This is the task for which we liv’d our lives,
And we shall win, a universe to save,
Whate’er the cost. Good luck, my comrades true.
ROCKET
His speechifying is wondrous. 185
LANG
’Tis evidently so!
STARK
—In faith, ye heard:
Stroke thou the keypad for us, Jolly Green.
[Banner presses buttons. Barton holds the Guardians of the Galaxy’s ship shrunken in his hand.
ROCKET
Dost thou promise thou shalt bring the ship back in
one piece? Take care of her a
s though she were thine
own, and deliver her sans e’en a scratch. 190
BARTON
Yea, I shall try to safeguard thy small bird.
ROCKET
As promises go, ’twas sorely lacking.
[All stand in a circle on the portal.
ROMANOFF
I’ll see you soon—the time shall go by fast—
Once we have journey’d to the murky past.
[Exeunt via the portal.
SCENE 2
New York. The past.
ENTER TONY STARK, STEVE ROGERS, BRUCE BANNER, AND SCOTT LANG. ENTER, AROUND THEM, CITIZENS AND ALIENS AT COMBAT.
ROGERS
We all have our assignments—let us to them.
Two Stones are uptown, one Stone downtown waits.
Stay close unto the ground, and watch the clock.
ENTER PAST HULK. HE SMASHES AN ALIEN, THEN JUMPS ON A CAR, THEN EXITS.
[To Banner:] If thou desir’st, smash things along thy way.
[Bruce Banner tears off his shirt.
BANNER
’Tis largely needless, yet I shall. Roar, roar. 5
[He hits a car half-heartedly.
Grr, growl. [Aside:] In faith, my heart’s not in the act.
[Exeunt Stark, Rogers, and Lang.
ENTER THE ANCIENT ONE ABOVE, ON BALCONY, WEARING THE TIME STONE AMULET. BANNER LEAPS TO THE BALCONY.
ANCIENT
Be careful going thither, mighty man.
Our floors but recently were clean’d and wax’d.
BANNER
I search for one of greatness, Doctor Strange.
ANCIENT
You have arriv’d five years too early, sirrah. 10
He currently performeth surgery
Some twenty blocks away. What do you want?
[Banner points to her amulet.
BANNER
That amulet about thy neck, in troth.
’Tis greatly needed for my mission, ma’am.
ANCIENT
Alas, I cannot give you what you wish. 15
BANNER
’Twas not a question; I am Hulk in haste.
ANCIENT
Methinks you will regret your errant threats.
BANNER
Mayhap ’tis so, and yet I need the Stone,
And I’ve no time for lengthy, vast debates.
[The Ancient One strikes him, knocking Banner s soul outside his body.
ANCIENT
Perhaps we’ll start again, if you’re prepar’d. 20
B. SOUL
Please, I need thine assistance greatly, ma’am.
ANCIENT
Nay, Bruce, I’m sorry—I’ll not give you aid.
Should I release the Time Stone unto you
To help keep your reality from harm,
I doom mine own. See?
B. SOUL
—Thou hast my respect, 25
Yet I do not believe this giant leap
In thy conclusions is supported by
The science.
[The Ancient One projects a straight beam in the air. As they converse, the projection illustrates what they say.
ANCIENT
—The Infinity Stones make
The flow of time that you experience.
Remove one Stone, and that flow splits in twain. 30
This, peradventure, Bruce, may benefit
Whate’er is the reality you know,
Yet for my new one, benefit is lost.
In this new offshoot of reality,
Sans our chief weapon gainst the force of darkness, 35
Our fragile world shall soon be overrun.
Then many millions would face suffering.
Tell me, then, Doctor, what can science do
To keep this outcome from becoming mine?
B. SOUL
Nay, verily, yet still we may erase’t. 40
Once we are finish’d with the Stones and their
Enormous pow’r, each we’ll return unto
Its timeline at the moment it was ta’en.
Thus, chronologic’ly, in that branch of
Reality, it never left—the offshoot 45
Of which thou speakest never will exist.
ANCIENT
Yet you forget the most important part:
If ye are to return the Stones, ye must
Survive the great ordeals that ye shall face.
B. SOUL
We shall—I shall. This is my promise grand. 50
ANCIENT
I cannot risk mine own reality
Upon a promise. ’Tis the duty of
The Sorcerer Supreme the Time Stone to
Protect.
B. SOUL
—Why then did Strange give it to Thanos?
It seemeth a colossal failure, yea? 55
ANCIENT
What did you say?
B. SOUL
—Strange gave the Stone to Thanos.
He gave it up an ’twere a massive gift.
ANCIENT
He did so willingly?
B. SOUL
—By Hulk, he did.
ANCIENT
Yet wherefore did he so?
B. SOUL
—I’ve no idea.
’Twas, mayhap, a gargantuan mistake. 60
ANCIENT
Belike the great mistake was mine, I fear.
[She gestures with her hand, rejoining Bruce Banner with his soul. She then releases the Time Stone from her amulet and holds it out to him.
See, Strange was meant to be the best of us.
BANNER
He must have done the deed—which seems to us
Immensely puzzling—for a reason, then.
ANCIENT
I am afeard you may be most correct. 65
[She hands the Stone to Banner.
BANNER
The thanks of Hulk and Banner falls to thee—
I am most grateful for thine understanding.
ANCIENT
The fate of my reality doth count
On thee, Bruce, to bring ev’rything aright.
[Exeunt.
ENTER TONY STARK IN HIS IRON MAN SUIT, WITH ANT-SIZED SCOTT LANG UPON HIS SHOULDER. STARK’S SUIT PEELS OFF AUTOMATICALLY, LEAVING HIS NORMAL CLOTHES. ENTER STEVE ROGERS SEVERALLY, NEAR STARK TOWER.
STARK
[into radio:] Increase thy speed, Cap. Our past battle
doth 70
Conclude soon, for I spy our past selves gath’ring
Round Loki, after our first skirmish here.
ROGERS
[into radio:] Stark, fear thou not—I’m near the elevator.
[Stark flies inside the building.
ENTER PAST TONY STARK, PAST STEVE ROGERS, PAST THOR, PAST NATASHA ROMANOFF, PAST HULK, AND PAST CLINT BARTON, SURROUNDING PAST LOKI.
P. LOKI
If ’tis the same to ye, my thirst I’d quench—
The drink ye’d give me I shall gladly take. 75
P. STARK
It’s time—pray, get the brigand to his feet.
We shall pose later, for a portrait fine.
Feel free to clean, as well; my tow’r is wreck’d.
STARK
[into radio:] I tell thee, Master Rogers, thine old suit
Did naught to flatter thy most perfect bottom. 80
ROGERS
[into radio:] None ask’d thee to behold it, Tony rude.
STARK
[into radio:] It is ridiculous.
LANG
[into radio:] —Methinks thou lookest
Incomparable
, Cap. As far as it
Concerneth me, thine is the only arse
That signifies America. Salute! 85
[Lang salutes Past Rogers’s bottom.
P. ROMANOFF
Who claims the magic wand dim Loki had?
P. STARK
I think the S.T.R.I.K.E. team cometh to secure’t.
THE ELEVATOR CHIMES. ENTER PAST BROCK RUMLOW, PAST JASPER SITWELL, AND SEVERAL PAST S.T.R.I.K.E. AGENTS. STARK AND LANG HIDE FROM THEM.
P. SITWELL
[to Past Romanoff:] We’ll take the naughty scepter off
your hands.
P. ROMANOFF
The thing’s dark pow’r I’ll gladly cede to thee.
Take care with it, I pray.
P. BARTON
—Unless thou wouldst 90
Have all thy thoughts eras’d, e’en like the dodo,
And not from merry pastimes of delight.
P. RUMLOW
We shall be cautious.
[Past Sitwell, Past Rumlow, and past agents walk aside into first elevator, carrying Past Loki’s scepter in a case.
LANG
[into radio:] —Who are these rogues, Stark,
Who do vaingloriously seize the scepter?
STARK
[into radio:] Initially, of course, they were of S.H.I.E.L.D., 95
Though truly Hydra as we later learn’d.
LANG
Yea, seriously? How did ye not know?
Their very mien hath an appearance vile.
STARK
I bid thee shush—thou small art, yet speak loudly.
P. ROGERS
I shall descend and handle search and rescue. 100
[Exit Past Rogers.
p. loki
[mocking:] “I shall descend and handle search and rescue.”
How do you keep your gorge from rising, eh?
[Past Thor places a seal across Past Loki’s mouth. Past Stark, Past Thor, Past Hulk, Past Romanoff, and Past Barton bear away Past Loki, heading to the second elevator.
P. THOR
Be silent, brother—no more of thy jests.
STARK
[to Lang:] It is thy moment, little friend of mine.
Our Stone is there, awaiting thy swift work. 105
LANG
I fly at once, withal felicity.
Flick thou my back, to thither discharge me.
[Stark flicks Lang’s back, sending him flying. Lang climbs onto Past Stark. Exit Stark via a window. Past Hulk tries to climb into the second elevator with the others.
P. HULK
Move!
P. STARK
—In no wise, for occupancy hath
Reach’d maximum. Take thou the stairs, green man.
[Exeunt Past Stark with Lang attached, Past Thor, Past Romanoff, Past Barton, and Past Loki in the second elevator. Past Stark holds a case containing the Tesseract.
P. HULK
Rawr! Take stairs? Hate stairs!