William Shakespeare's Avengers

by Ian Doescher

  Tony Stark: Each line of his dialogue starts with a capital I, both for Iron Man and because it’s Tony’s favorite person.

  Steve Rogers: Patriotically, each line of his iambic pentameter contains the letters U, S, and A.

  Thor: His strength is reflected in that all his lines use strong endings (exactly ten syllables and no more).

  Natasha Romanoff: Most of Black Widow’s lines contain a reference to blackness or darkness (though not all, because we live in a finite world!).

  Bruce Banner: When he is the Hulk, each line of his dialogue contains a word that’s a synonym for large.

  Clint Barton: All Hawkeye’s lines contain a bird- related term.

  Pietro Maximoff: As the fastest Avenger, each line of his dialogue uses a word meaning fast.

  Wanda Maximoff: Each line spoken by the Scarlet Witch includes a word that rhymes with “scarlet,” “witch,” or “red.”

  Loki: Because he is often switching his loyalties, each line of his dialogue contains an opposite.

  Vision: As he is the most “meta” of all the Avengers, each line of Vision’s dialogue includes a direct Shakespeare reference.

  Doctor Strange: He often creates circles of energy with his hands that look like os, so each line of his iambic pentameter contains at least two os.

  Peter Parker: His speeches come in factors of eight (i.e., he speaks one, two, four, or eight lines at a time) because of the number of legs a spider has.

  Peter Quill: To honor the important role of music in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, Quill’s lines begin with A, B, C, D, E, F, or G—in other words, musical notes.

  Gamora: She is often described as the most powerful woman in the galaxy, so the first letter of each of her lines of dialogue becomes the first letter of the next character’s line, too.

  Drax: Because he is an often exuberant Avenger, each of his lines contains at least one exclamation point.

  Rocket: Everyone’s favorite trash panda is the one Avenger who speaks in prose.

  Groot: His lines follow the convention from the movies, with a twist: “Groot—’tis I!”

  T’Challa: His lines form a continually repeating acrostic that spells “WAKANDA FOREVER” (for the geeks like me out there who will check: yes, the acrostic carries over and continues in his lines from Infinity War’s Tale to The Endgame’s Afoot).

  Scott Lang: Because Ant-Man is sometimes very small and sometimes very large, each line of Lang’s dialogue contains a one-syllable word and a word of four (or more) syllables.

  Carol Danvers: Every line she speaks contains a word that references a famous woman in history.

  Two more notes about language: In Assemble, Ye Avengers and, briefly, in Lo, The Age of Ultron, various characters fall under the influence of Loki’s scepter. When that happens, those characters use weak endings exclusively (an unstressed eleventh syllable at the end of their lines). Also, there’s a somewhat complex arrangement of who calls whom thou versus you. Generally, thou, which is less formal and more intimate, is used. Most characters address the Avengers (and Nick Fury) with the more formal you, except the Avengers’ romantic interests—Pepper, for example, uses thou with Tony. Nick Fury uses you for the Avengers and the members of the World Security Council. And when the Avengers address members of their team, they use thou. Got it?

  Diving into the Avengers universe for this book was great fun. I watched all twenty-two Marvel movies in order while I was writing (in the name of research, naturally). Spending time with these characters and their sweeping story was sheer pleasure, and I admit to being in tears as I wrote the final scene of The Endgame’s Afoot. Darn you, Steve Rogers.

  Thanks for joining me on this adventure.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

  Thank you to my own personal super heroes: Jennifer Creswell, Liam, Graham, Joseph, and Thorfinn; Bob and Beth Doescher; Erik, Em, Aracelli, and Addison Doescher; Holly Havens, Mona and Roland Havens; Jeff and Caryl Creswell, Joel Creswell, Sibyl Siegfried, their daughters Sophie and Caroline, and Katherine, Spencer, and June Nietmann; Josh Hicks, Alexis Kaushansky, and their children Ruby and Jayden; Tom George and Kristin Gordon George; Apricot, David, Isaiah and Oak Irving; Chloe Ackerman and Graham Steinke; Lucy Neary, Melody Burton, Jeannette Ehmke, Ali Wesley, and Jerryn Johnston; Heidi Altman and Scott Roehm, Chris and Andrea Martin, Naomi Walcott and Audu Besmer, and Ethan Youngerman and Rebecca Lessem; Cate, Josiah, and Bryony Carminati; Helga, Michael, Isabella, and Lottie Scott; Ryan, Nicole, Mackinzie, Audrey, and Lily Warne-McGraw; Travis Boeh and Sarah Woodburn, Chris Buehler and Marian Hammond, Erin and Nathan Buehler, Anne Huebsch, Tara and Michael Morrill, and Ben and Katie Wire; Steve Weeks and Dan Zehr; Kim Hoare, Callista, and Geoff Isabelle, Ann, Daniel, Lewis, and Molly Orr, and John Rohrs and Andie Wigodsky; Rebecca Gyllenhaal, Jhanteigh Kupihea, Nicole De Jackmo, Jane Morley, Christina Tatulli, Kelsey Hoffman, and Brett Cohen; Jane Bidwell, Doree Jarboe, Bruce McDonald, and Janice Morgan; Jim and Nancy Hicks and Joan and Grady Miller; Shana McCauley; Antwon Chavis, Nate Housel, Lisa Lomax, and Sierra Maxwell.

  SONNET 3000

  Avatars, Assemble!

  Avenging, for the nonce, doth take its rest,

  Our heroes safe from ev’ry wicked foe.

  No more by dreary Thanos sore oppress’d,

  They may, at last, feel both their joy and woe.

  Rest, too, doth come for our old author’s pen,

  And for thine eyes, which have beheld the tales.

  Yet, if thou wouldst take up the thread again,

  Great marvels, troth, quirkbooks.com unveils.

  There shalt thou find pop culture Shakespeare vast—

  Thy fav’rite films in verse thou mayst regard.

  Go thither and thy brain shall find repast:

  A helpful introduction to the Bard.

  Until the next, let this thought fill thine hours:

  The one who readeth hath true superpow’rs.

  www.quirkbooks.com/avengers

  Ian Doescher is the New York Times best-selling author of the William Shakespeare’s Star Wars series. He lives in Portland, Oregon, with his family. Visit him at IanDoescher.com.

  Danny Schlitz is an illustrator, designer, animator, and founder of Schlitz Studios. A lifetime comics fan, he is a proud husband and father of four.

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