Invincible (Invisible 2)

by Cecily Anne Paterson

  Britney and Erin are talking to each other, leaning against the table. The twins are giggling with another of Angela’s friends. Phoebe, I think her name is. Gabby’s nowhere to be seen. Angela’s cheek is reddish and there’s a bruise on her arm but apart from that she looks fine. Happy, even. She’s sitting next to Liam, her head resting, tilted, on her hand, facing him. She shakes her hair out so it falls over her arm, gently brushing the table top.

  Is she… flirting?

  My whole body heaves with a shudder that begins at my toes and continues to my eyelids. Do other people’s worlds turn upside down this quickly? Can your enemies turn into friends and your friends turn into enemies in the space of 35 minutes? In the time it takes you to eat one vanilla ice cream and walk back to school?

  My feet feel twitchy. They want to move. I could turn now and run out the gate again and no one would have seen me. I glance around behind me. It’s an option. I pull my mouth to one side and consider it, but then I bring myself back.

  Gabby would say to be brave, I tell myself, although my stomach is caught up in my ribs somehow.

  I walk up to the group, put my bag down and go to sit at the table. There’s a lull in the general noise levels.

  “Jaz,” says Olivia, breaking the silence. “We thought…”

  “We thought you’d gone,” says Caitlin. “Like, home.”

  I shrug.

  “I felt better,” I say. “Plus it’s a long walk.” I turn to look at them directly. “Did you have Science? Did Mr Cox say anything about the projects?”

  There’s a half second where it looks like Caitlin, whose mouth is still gaping open, is reorganizing her brain.

  “Yeah. Um. So he said we’ve got to find our own groups and pick our topics,” she says. “Before the holidays. Then when we get back we can get straight into it.”

  “Cool,” I say. I turn to Liam and Angela who haven’t taken their eyes off me. “Hey.”

  Angela makes a face, rolls her eyes slightly and tosses her hair. She looks away. Liam looks like he still doesn’t know what I’m doing there.

  “Hey,” he says. He manages a half smile. “They said you went home. I was going to call you and see if you’re okay.”

  “You don’t need to,” I say. I shake my head, just slightly and smile. “I went for a bit, but then I thought I’d come back. Too much explaining to Mum.”

  “Totally.” He nods in agreement. Then he signs in Auslan, You okay?

  I shrug. I guess, I sign back. What happened to G?

  Suspended. He mouths the word at me. He probably doesn’t know the sign for it. Then he holds up a finger. One week.

  My chest loses air and I slump a little. I signal with my head to Liam. Come with me. I need to talk to him without Angela there. He looks over to where I’m pointing to and makes a little face like, okay. Then he gets up, really casual and heads over to the Science building. I grab my bag and follow.

  When we get around the corner, out of sight of Angela, Liam grabs me around the waist.

  “I was so worried about you,” he says, almost in my ear. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I say. I sort of disentangle him from me and try to take a step back. “I just need to know what happened. And why are they all at our table now?”

  “Gabby just kind of went off,” says Liam. “I was over there, you know, trying to talk to Angela about it all, like I said I would, and then Gabby just came right up and slapped her in the face. It was the loudest thing I ever heard.” He shook his head. “Crazy. That girl’s off her rocker. She’s nuts.”

  I look at him like I can’t believe what I’m hearing, but he’s talking again.

  “I mean, anyway, it turns out Angela wasn’t going to fight you. She hardly knew what I was talking about.”

  “Is that what she said?” I ask. I’m suspicious.

  “Yeah, totally,” he says. “And I believe her. I really do. It was probably one of the guys she hangs out with who made it up and spread it around.”

  “When did she say it?” I ask.

  “She just told me now,” he says. “At recess. She couldn’t before. She was in with the deputy and crazy Gabby, sorting it all out.”

  “So it’s a whole week?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” he says. “And Gab deserves it too. I mean, she’s nuts going after someone like Angela. She can’t win.”

  I take another step back. This conversation is confusing. This morning Angela was the evil villain of the quad. Now it’s turned into being totally Gabby’s fault.

  “But Gab was standing up for me,” I say.

  “Well, she shouldn’t have,” says Liam. “Angela was being totally fine about everything, plus I was looking after it, and then Gabby just came in and attacked her.” He steps back in closer to me. “Anyway, as long as you’re okay…”

  His hands come back to my waist and he’s pulling me in for a hug and I can see that he wants to kiss, but my head is spinning and my world has gone cuckoo and all I want to do is sit and think.

  “We can’t,” I say, turning my head away. “We’re at school. This is not the right time.”

  He steps away and pulls his hands back. His face is dark and his eyes look sharp.

  “It’s never the right time for you, Jaz. Come on. I wasn’t asking for much. It’s just a kiss.”

  My heart sinks and I feel a burning guilt and a terrible ugliness that spreads its sticky fingers all over my lungs.

  “No, it’s just…” I begin, but he’s still mad. “Sorry,” I say. “I’m really sorry.” I take a breath and force out some words. “I just got upset. I didn’t know what I was saying.”

  I step closer to him, touch his shoulder and offer him my face but my heart isn’t in it. “You can, if you like.”

  He circles around, grabs my waist and kisses me. It’s not gentle. When he stops I have to wipe around my mouth.

  “I’ll see you at lunch,” he says and walks off.

  Chapter 11

  The next three days are a blur. I go to school and sit with my old friends and my apparent ‘new’ friends, Angela and her crowd. They mix, talk and crack jokes like they’ve been hanging out for years. I avoid Angela as much as possible but I smile at Liam, sit next to him and act like I’m okay, except when he wants me to come with him behind the Science building and then I have to make excuses about needing to go to the bathroom.

  I check my phone practically every ten minutes.

  Still no replies from Gab.

  I’ve texted her, left messages, tried to call and generally been a cyber-stalker.

  Nothing.

  “Maybe they went away,” says Mum, when I tell her Gabby’s not at school (but not the reason why). “Or maybe she’s sick and forgotten to charge her phone.” She shrugs. “It’s probably nothing bad.”

  She’s right, of course. I mean, it could be that she feels stupid or embarrassed or guilty. But that’s not really like her. What would be more normal is for her to be over here, bouncing on my bed, telling me exactly how it feels to slap Angela.

  Which I’m sure would be basically this: “Awesome!”

  There’s nothing to do but wait. She’s sent me approximately 72 texts a week every week since we became friends last term. She’ll be back.

  She’s not back at school, though. I guess I didn’t really expect that she’d get off her suspension before the end of term, but after what happened to me, with Miss Frazer, I thought maybe there might be some special deal she could do.

  Apparently not.

  She stays suspended and away. But the word obviously hasn’t gotten out to all the teachers. On Friday in Science, Mr Cox takes the roll.

  “Where’s Gabby? This is the second lesson she’s missed,” he says.

  I put my head down. Someone else will tell him, surely? But for once, the class stays silent.

  “Jazmine? You’d know where she is, yes?” he asks.

  I take a deep breath and look up, only at him, avoiding everyone else’s eye
s.

  “She’s suspended, sir,” I say.

  “Oh,” he says, obviously surprised. “Why?”

  I look back down at my desk. “Fight,” I say, softly. It’s kind of a mumble. He lifts his eyebrows and glances back down at his list.

  “Hmm,” he says. It’s the sort of noise you make when you’d actually rather say a whole lot of other stuff but you can’t.

  “Okay,” he says. “Well. We’ll move on. I’m guessing that you all still need some time to find your groups and choose your topics for next term’s project. You’ve got ten minutes now. Sort yourselves out. Groups of four. Go.”

  He looks at his watch and stands back while everyone gets out of their seats. There’s a buzz of ‘will you?’ and ‘what do you think?’ and then some giggles and hand slapping.

  I don’t move.

  This is the stuff I hate. This is what makes me feel like melting, red-faced, hot and bothered into my plastic seat. Teachers think they’re doing kids a favour when they let us ‘sort ourselves out’ but it’s just another battle you’ve got to fight. I know, without looking around, that Caitlin and Olivia will have buddied up with Britney and her best friend Stella. The four of them haven’t stopped giggling in three days. Liam is in a higher Science class so he’s not here. And Gabby’s obviously not in her normal spot next to me. I have no options.

  I’m sitting, quietly, dying inside, when there’s a tap on my shoulder. I almost jump and then I’m so embarrassed about being startled that I can feel a red blush rising fast.

  “Jazmine.”

  It’s the messy haired kid from across the quad. The one with the science nerd type friends. Alvin. He’s standing beside me with his hand reaching out to my shoulder. When he sees me look at it, he pulls it back so suddenly that I think he’s spring loaded.

  “Oh, sorry,” he says.

  “It’s okay,” I say. And then I don’t know what else to say so I just look at him.

  “Um, we need a fourth person,” he says. “I mean, we don’t just want you to be the fourth person. You’re not just an afterthought. I mean, we’d like you to be in our group anyway. You’re not with anyone are you? I mean, not, like, ‘with’ anyone. I’m just asking if you’re already in a group.” He stops, clearly confused.

  He’s so clumsy that I feel I can smile. I follow his gesture to the back of the room where two other boys are clustered around the lab desk. They grin and wave at me. I’m so surprised that I actually wave back.

  “Um, okay?” I say. I look back over my shoulder, just to see that I’m right about the twins and Britney. Yes. They’re giggling over in the corner. I shake my head slightly, like I’m trying to clear it, and then smile, a little bit brightly at Alvin.

  “Yeah, sure,” I say. I grab my books and move to the back.

  Alvin smiles sideways, awkwardly, at me. I grin back. If only Gabby could see me, hanging with the science geeks. As they scuffle and shuffle to make room at the table, I pull out my phone and check my messages, just in case she’s come back to life since I last looked, fifteen minutes ago at lunch.

  But there’s still nothing.

  It’s confusing. This is not Gabby. It’s so not. This makes me want to bang on her front door and stick my head in and yell, “Where are you?” but I haven’t even been able to do that. On Wednesday afternoon Mum took me shopping to get a new swimsuit for when I go to Grandma’s. On Thursday she made me stay home and finish my final English essay for the term. Today is the only time I could go before the holidays start, but I know Mum is panicking about me going away, and plus I’ll have to pack.

  I bring myself back to the lab desk. Alvin and his two friends are discussing options for the project.

  “I’ve been researching things we can do,” says one. He’s a little guy with short brown hair and a high voice. “There’s one experiment where you can test how much bacteria grows in your spit. And then you can compare it to dog spit.”

  I screw up my face. “Eww,” I say. But Little Dude looks at me in surprise.

  “That’s the coolest thing ever,” he says. “And I’ve got a dog that drools heaps so we’ll have plenty of dog spit to use.”

  All three guys start to talk at once. Their faces are lit up like they’ve just won free movie tickets to something based on a comic strip.

  “Um,” I begin. Tentative. Not wanting to make waves. “Do you think, maybe…” but they’re not hearing me. I look around, waiting for someone to step in for me. Gabby usually comes to my rescue if she sees I’m not happy. Liam as well. But as soon as I think it, I catch myself. Liam’s not here. Gabby’s who-knows-where. Unless I want to spend the first five weeks of next term looking after test tubes of Fido saliva I’m going to have to say something.

  I half stand, pushing my stool out behind me. It makes a scraping noise on the lino floor and the boys stop talking for a second.

  “No,” I say. It comes out more strongly than I aim for. “Sorry, but no. That’s a totally gross idea and I can’t do it.”

  Little Dude, and the other guy, who I only know as Cammo, look genuinely disappointed. Alvin’s face is different. He looks apologetic.

  “Oh, yeah, right,” he says. He turns to the others. “You guys. We have to think of something else.”

  Little Dude scrambles through a bunch of papers stuffed in his notebook. “Electromagnetic fields. Done that. Eyesight charts. Boring. Basic machines. Didn’t we do those in Year 6?”

  “No,” says Alvin. “We should ask Jazmine.”

  There’s an electric second where, suddenly, six eyes are directed at me and me only. Six, science-loving eyes, looking at me, who’d prefer to be anywhere else, really, than here planning an experiment.

  “Jazmine. What do you want to do?” Alvin asks, and I twist my mouth, not because I’m thinking but because I’m nervous. What do I want to do? Who would know? I pick up my pen and tap it on the table. Tickita tickita tickita. They’re still focused on me, waiting for an answer. I’ll have to say something; I just don’t know what.

  I scratch next to my nose. It makes me feel better. “Um, I like plants?” I say. And then I sit down, scrape in the stool and sit, hunching slightly, on my hands.

  Cammo shrugs. “Plants are cool. We can do plant stuff.” He turns to Little Dude. “Sebastian, what have you got?”

  Sebastian digs through his sheaf of papers again. His enthusiasm is back. “Yeah, I found this one. It’s pretty cool. You can test leaves when they’re green and find out what colour they’re going to be in autumn.”

  There’s a general murmuring of approval. Alvin puts out his hand. “Can I see? What do you have to do?” Sebastian gives him the sheet and Cammo sticks his head over Alvin’s shoulder. There’s some pointing and discussion and a few nods and grunts. Alvin hands the sheet to me.

  “What do you think?”

  I pause for a tiny second and then take the piece of paper from him. Confidently. Like I actually would know what I’m doing. Like I have an opinion about science projects. I read it quickly and then hand it back.

  “That looks fine,” I say. “Let’s do that.”

  “Cool,” says Alvin. And just like that, I am an official science geek.

  I don’t tell Liam.

  After all, it’s not as if I have to. It’s not as if there’s some kind of rule which says you should tell your boyfriend every single thing that happens in Science. It’s just a group. For a project. Which I’m not really that interested in anyway.

  But I still feel a teeny little bit bad. A little bit, I don’t know, guilty.

  He grabs my hand as we walk towards the gate where the buses line up. I hold it, free and happy because it’s the holidays, but also because I want to make it up to him, make him feel better.

  “I’m going to miss you Jaz,” he says. “I was really hoping we’d hang out heaps these holidays. This whole grandma thing seems really random.”

  “I know,” I say, trying to keep a light-hearted tone. “I couldn’t believe it whe
n Mum organised it. I can’t wait.”

  “And it’s the whole two weeks?” His face looks deflated. I feel a little sorry for him.

  “Yeah,” I say. “But I’m not sure exactly when I’ll be back on the last weekend. Maybe we can do something then.”

  “You’re going to miss Angela’s party,” he says, and gives my hand a squeeze. I stiffen up. It’s not conscious. It just happens.

  “Angela’s having a party?” I say.

  “Yeah. We’re all invited. Didn’t she tell you?”

  “Um, no,” I say. I want to say more but I hold it in.

  “On the middle weekend. It’s going to be awesome.” His face brightens up. “But you’ll miss it.”

  “Is it her birthday?” I try to show some interest but he shrugs.

  “Don’t think so. It’s a ‘just because’ party, she says.”

  “Just because?”

  “Just because she wants to, I guess.”

  My face burns and my brain is starting a slow smoulder, but it’s not for any reason I can figure out. Angela can have a party if she wants to. I guess I just don’t want her to want to.

  My bus turns up and I wait for the crowd to push on.

  “Okay,” I say. “Well, have a great holiday.”

  “How can you say that?” Liam says. “Without you.”

  “You’ll be fine,” I say. I hold his other hand. “I’ll be back super quickly.” He steps in to give me a kiss and I instinctively dodge so it ends up being a peck on the cheek.

  “No more?” he says. He has his puppy dog eyes on.

  “After the holidays, okay?” I say. “I’m nervous about seeing my grandma again right now.” I turn to go, but I don’t want to leave him sad. “Bye?”

  He turns and kicks his heels against the concrete. “See ya. Two weeks.” Then he walks away and doesn’t look back. I nearly miss my bus because I’m still staring after him, hoping he’ll turn around and flash me a Liam smile to ease my stomach nerves.

  “Getting on?” the bus driver growls finally, and I scurry up the steps as the doors hiss and clunk behind me.

  Later, Mum makes me pack, but not before I force her to promise to take me over to Gabby’s place later.