Matched With Her Cowboy Billionaire Ex-Fiance

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  She didn’t even bother looking through the peephole or glancing through the windows. Swinging open the panel, she drew herself up short. “Roman.” Glancing behind him and finding no one with him, she looked back at his face and furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry. Is there an emergency or something? You’re supposed to be at your meeting with Stephen. Is everything okay?” She folded her arms over the white t-shirt she’d worn over gray leggings and suddenly wished she hadn’t yet gotten into her comfortable clothing.

  Roman stared at her, quiet and thoughtful while he watched her. He rested a hand on the railing to her porch, back a couple feet from the door.

  Taylor narrowed her eyes. “Roman, why are you here?” She softly shook her head and shifted her bare feet on the wood flooring of the entryway to her house. She didn’t want to think of him at her house, in her space. He already took up too much of her thoughts. She couldn’t afford to be able to picture him in her life. As much as she’d wanted him, she couldn’t have him and wishing was just begging for heartbreak.

  “Um, yeah, I…” He coughed, looking to the side as if the thick tortured willow tree to his right had the answers.

  Taylor waited and then couldn’t wait any longer. “Is everything alright with Stephen?” Her eyebrows drew together as she stared at him, waiting for his answer.

  That seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he’d been in. He stepped closer, his hat blocking the light from the porch lantern as he leaned over her. “Stephen? Would you like him to come over here?” The distinct smell of alcohol pervaded the air directly around him.

  Taylor rolled her eyes and backed up, motioning for him to come inside. “Look, just come in and don’t make a scene.” The last thing she needed was her gossipy neighbors seeing the Wilson man drunk and standing on her porch. “Hurry up. If Mrs. Radich sees you out there, we will be married with three kids by tomorrow.”

  She’d been joking, but judging by the stiffening in his shoulders, it wasn’t the right joke for him. “Forget it. Again, Roman, what do you want?” Taylor shut the door and turned to face Roman as he perused the front rooms of her house. “You’re supposed to be with Stephen until ten.” He’d never respected the importance of sticking to a schedule. He’d always run things with a high level of “wing it” that would have given her anxiety, if she’d tried to do anything with that level of disregard.

  But she didn’t. She controlled as much as she could with whatever she could. Her life was much easier because of it.

  Roman turned toward her, a gentling in his features Taylor hadn’t seen since before their set wedding date. “Not everyone is as scheduled as you, Taylor.” He studied her face with a soft gaze.

  Even though he hadn’t necessarily meant his comment to be rude or antagonizing, Taylor couldn’t help taking it that way. She closed her eyes and shut the door behind her. After a second, she pressed her fingers to her temples. “Look, I don’t feel like getting into this with you. I know, you always hated my planning and scheduling. Got it. It’s a flaw of mine you couldn’t handle. Is that why you came over? To remind me of how awful I am?” She didn’t need Roman’s help in feeling bad about herself. What she needed was someone who actually liked things about her.

  “Hey, I don’t want to fight. That wasn’t me being mean. I was trying to…” He shook his head and moved closer, removing his hat and turning it over and over in his hands as he studied her. “You… Taylor, you never got married again?”

  The question took her by surprise. He was also a little too close for comfort as heat warred inside her for something to hold onto. She stepped back until her shoulders pressed into the door panel. Being that close to him wasn’t safe. There was nothing she could do if he touched her. She knew it. She’d be doomed. She’d have no pride left.

  Taylor folded her arms and then dropped them to hang limply by her sides. Even that didn’t feel comfortable and she shook her head. “Um, wha…” She cleared her throat and glared at Roman. “Why didn’t you ever get married?”

  “I did.” He set his jaw and stepped back, his eyes full of something she couldn’t identify, something she didn’t want to.

  The sudden space between them acted like a vacuum, sucking the air out of her lungs in a whoosh. Roman had loved someone else enough to marry them. He hadn’t run away. He’d married another woman.

  He must have gotten a divorce or maybe she’d died or something, because he had to be single in order to be a suitor for the contest.

  So, what? Taylor could handle the fact that he’d married someone else. He’d replaced her. No, that wasn’t even the truth. He’d married someone else that he had cared more for than her. Because what else could it have been? Why else would he have run away like he did?

  She closed her eyes and just focused on breathing in and out.

  At least she could control her breathing. Nothing else was manageable.

  What had she once told a client? You loved who you loved and choice was a game you played as a kid. Something like that.

  And yet, it had never seemed more real than it did right then.

  Chapter 12

  Roman

  Roman tried to ignore how he’d just dropped the announcement into the air like a weighted gauntlet. It was there, plain and rude and blunt. I did. He hadn’t meant to just announce that he’d gotten married. Of course, he’d assumed she’d known, but judging by the sudden jerk in her body as his words sank in, he’d been egotistical and more than a little narcissistic thinking she’d known already.

  So many emotions crossed Taylor’s face as he stared at her. Regret flooded through him even as pain and something close to hysterics again shadowed her expression.

  After a minute of studying each other, Taylor blinked at him and thrust her finger toward the floor. “So, you were able to commit to someone else, but not to me.” She didn’t phrase it like a question, because it wasn’t. Roman could see that. He could see so much in that moment and he’d never wanted to ask himself just what he’d been thinking more.

  Taylor suddenly bent over and laughed, then straightened, slapping the top of her thigh and shaking her head. She turned to the counter and moved to the sink, pouring herself a glass of water and motioning toward it as if Roman might want one. She drank the water after he shook his head no. She blinked some more, still laughing. Then as if out of the blue, she laughed hard again and plunked the glass on the counter. “You couldn’t commit to me, but you could someone else. Got it.” Was she losing it?

  Roman took a deep breath. Things were getting out of hand quick. He moved to lean against the counter and into a position where he could see her more fully. “What’s so funny?” Had he really said something that hilarious?

  “Well, you were able to commit to someone else. Not me.” The redundancy of the phrase only made him more confused. She stopped laughing and stood at the counter, resting her hand limply on the edge as she stared at him, her smile loose and unchecked.

  “You said that already. Three times so far.” Roman couldn’t contain his irritation. She kept saying it. Yeah, he got it. She’d been the one he couldn’t commit to. He didn’t even know how to explain that. He had a reason. If he’d committed to her, he wouldn’t have gotten divorced he had from his ex-wife. Was that commitment then? Had he really committed to anyone, if he’d taken the first chance he had to get away?

  Taylor shook her head, inhaling deep and then slapping her hand on the counter. “Well, I’m just trying to accept the fact, that all this time, I thought the commitment issue was on your end. But maybe, it’s actually me. Something is wrong with me. That’s fine, though, you know? I mean, you always complained about me over-scheduling. You always said I needed to be more spontaneous. That was just one thing, though. I mean, what else is it about me that people don’t like? That makes me incompatible with others?” She didn’t seem mad, but more along the lines of genuinely confused.

  “Incompatible? Who said that?” Roman folded his arms and rested his forearms on the
edge of the counter, watching her closely. He’d never claimed she was anything less than perfect – scheduling aside.

  Plus, after the things he’d learned from Stephen, he suddenly found he didn’t mind the planning as much as he’d thought.

  “Yeah, incompatible. Dad and Elizabeth can’t find me a match. I thought maybe they were just being picky, but…” She sighed, her humor fading as she furrowed her brow. “Maybe, what’s actually happening, is they can’t find a match for me because of me. You know? Actually me. I’m the problem. This is perfect.” Her strong volume trailed off and she turned from the counter, facing away from him.

  “Wait, Taylor, what are you saying?” Too much was going on. She thought she wasn’t worthy to be committed to? Had he made her think that? That couldn’t be further from the truth. “Are you saying you are having Mom and your dad match you?” Why did that fill him with such anxiety? Why did he want to run to his mom and ask her to refuse? Why did Roman think Taylor shouldn’t want to be with anyone else but him? That bronco had ridden off years ago. There was no way it was a possibility any longer.

  “Yeah.” She turned back, throwing her hands in the air as she glared at him. “Or they’re trying to. Does that make you feel better, knowing I can’t find anyone on my own? Maybe you made the right choice, you know?” She folded her arms, staring at him with her jaw jutted to the side.

  The fact that she might actually feel that way about him, about her, about any of it, was enough to crush him. He shook his head, dropping his hands to his sides and slowly moving toward her. “Taylor, no. That’s not how I feel at all, actually.”

  He studied her, searching her face for some semblance that she’d heard him and maybe believed him. Even if only a fraction of what he’d said.

  She shook her head, scoffing. “Yeah, okay. Sorry, Roman, but I don’t really want to hear it. Why aren’t you still at the meeting with Stephen? As much as you hate the fact that I overschedule, there’s a reason we’re supposed to stick to the plans that Gentry and the committee give us.”

  “I…” What was the truth? Stephen had been too aware of Taylor. Too aware of what exactly Roman had loved about her. She was all kinds of appealing in more ways than he could explain. He’d done her a disservice not telling her why he’d left. He’d hurt a lot of people with his actions.

  As Roman looked around the two front rooms for a reason he’d left Stephen early instead of the truth, Roman half-heartedly accepted that he’d stepped into a space the screamed Taylor. From the subtle mint green accents to the even more rare but equally beautiful dusky rose touches in the thin striping on the curtains and the piping of the cream-colored couch, Roman could see that Taylor’s tastes were still distinctly elegant.

  She kept a tidy house and that was nothing of a surprise to Roman. He’d always envied her ability to maintain so much control over her surroundings with apparent effortlessness. She intimidated him while also making him extremely proud.

  Leaving her behind had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. Where he’d expected to make his father proud of him, Roman had in effect alienated himself from his family as well as divided the town he’d grown up in.

  Taylor’s exasperation pulled him from his thoughts. She thrust her hands on her hips. “Did you at least like Stephen? I mean, what did you think about him? You’re here. You might as well fill me in.” She sighed, waiting for him to answer.

  Roman didn’t want to. He didn’t want to say anything else that might hurt her. He was sick of causing her pain which seemed to be inevitable when he spoke or did anything. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her the way he should have kissed her at the altar.

  Leaving her to Stephen would probably be the best thing for Taylor. She needed someone who wouldn’t betray her. Someone who wanted her from the beginning and was consistent. Wasn’t that what Stephen was proving to be? He was the good guy. He was the guy that didn’t want money or prestige. He just had pure appreciation for Taylor.

  Roman wanted Taylor to be happy. He just wasn’t sure he wanted her to be happy with anyone but him.

  Wow, he really was as selfish as he’d been accused of being. He shook his head as he realized he still hadn’t answered her questions about Stephen. She wasn’t waiting for him to find self-actualization. Instead, she just wanted a reason for why he was there.

  Answering her wasn’t possible right then. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, so rather than extoll a lie he wasn’t even sure he could make up, he readjusted his hat and moved toward the door. “I have to get going. Thanks for answering my questions.”

  “Wait, just like that and you’re leaving? You didn’t answer my question, Roman.” Taylor followed him, her volume rising as she walked.

  He paused with his hand on the door knob as he turned back to look at her. It was the first time she’d said his name without sounding rehearsed or formal. She’d said it with passion and anger, and he wanted to hear her say it again.

  Selfish or not, he didn’t want to roll the competition so that he won and Taylor lost. He didn’t want to give that underhanded victory to Stephen. He didn’t want to give Taylor that kind of a blow to her pride when she so obviously needed something more from him.

  More.

  What else hadn’t he given her in the past? One of them being steadfastness in the face of trials. He had to give her that. He could give her consistency. He had to do something to earn back her respect and trust which he’d lost.

  In this instance, losing would suck, but so would winning dishonestly. Roman had to admit that and he had to get Stephen to agree to at least try. He didn’t want to tell Taylor what he’d told Stephen he would do. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure I finish the scheduled meetings as they’re laid out. Let me know if there’s anything else I need to fix. I’m new to this competition, so there’s a lot I’m trying to learn. Sorry for inconveniencing you.”

  “No, you’re right.” Taylor’s eyes softened and she nodded. “I’m sorry. I forgot this is the first time you’ve seen one up close and involved. It’s not as easy as it looked when we were kids.” She lifted her fingers and pressed her temple. “Look, they want us to spend time with each other’s candidates in case there’s something we’re missing. Like, if Stephen actually is a serial killer or something. Then it’s kind of a safety net for the client.” She bit her lower lip as she studied him. “… Is Stephen a serial killer?”

  Did she want to know because she was worried about her suitor option or because Stephen was someone she was interested in herself? Knowing what he did about Stephen, Roman wasn’t sure how Taylor felt about her candidate. For some reason he wanted to know – bad.

  He kitted his eyebrows as he turned more fully to her, dropping his hand back to his side from the doorknob. “What do you know about Stephen?” Maybe she didn’t know everything. Maybe she was just in it for the money and she thought he wasn’t worth anything more than one restaurant. There were so many what ifs.

  Taylor ambled closer to the front door, stopping beside the windows and staring out at the night. “He’s really sweet. He’s looking for someone to marry and have kids with. He’s always around which is nice, but we’re in the friend-zone.” She chuckled, glancing quickly at Roman. “I mean, not that you and I should be talking about that. He’s a really nice guy. I know he lied on his application because he didn’t want the candidate to know about his actual position in society, but I don’t blame him for that. He’s a good guy, trying to find someone to love him.” She shrugged and turned back to stare out the window and then spoke a little under her breath. “Aren’t we all?”

  Roman thought about what she’d said. She was being honest. She was just looking for someone to share her life with. Roman lost that chance. Did he really want to make her suffer in loneliness because he couldn’t be decent? No. He didn’t want her to be unhappy. If he couldn’t be for her what she needed, then it was time he actually promoted her happiness.

  He step
ped forward, the sole of his boots whispering on the tile as he did so. Roman gently placed his hand on Taylor’s shoulder and turned her to face him. “Stephen is a really great guy. I think he’d be a great choice for Olivia… or anyone else who would be interested.”

  “But you’re interested in Olivia, too, right? I mean, isn’t that why you chose yourself as her suitor?” For a brief moment, it felt like they were actually friends.

  Roman was being shunted to the friend zone. This had to be better than the enemy zone he’d lived in for so long. Roman laughed, glancing out the window and shaking his head. “Nah, I like winning. I like… competition. I’m not particular to anyone, to be honest. I just need to get my foot in the door here on a local level. Why not do it with a win?” He’d shared too much, but wasn’t that what he needed to do with her? Be honest?

  She nodded, shaking her head. “In order to fully win, though, you have to be able to commit to her for at least six months. Can you do that?” She wasn’t being rude, which Roman would completely accept from her. Wouldn’t it be justified at that point?

  “Six months? That’s going to be longer than I think I want to do.” He grinned and winked. “No, I can handle it. Don’t worry about it.”

  Taylor nodded tightly. “Yeah, six months isn’t much. You can do it.” She glanced pointedly at her watch and then back at him. “I need to get to bed.”

  Of course, she did. He’d come over unannounced and thrown a wrench into her plans. He knew what that did to her, caused anxiety and didn’t help her stress level. Yet, there he’d gone and done it again.

  He inclined his head and backed up to the door, this time determined to leave. “You’re right. I’m sorry. That was rude of me. I’m working on being more mindful of others.” He pulled his phone out of his back pocket. “Do you think I could get your number so I can reach out next time I need to speak with you outside of the scheduled meetings?”