Hard Loving Cowboy

by A. J. Pine

  “First I need to get back on my board,” he interrupted, gazing at the snowfield again. “That’s why I brought you here. I can’t do it alone.”

  Kate studied him. That was his total focus. Getting back on the board. And yes, he did need that. So talking about the article could wait. “How can I help?” she asked. “You want me to cheer you on? Take a video so you can remember this moment?”

  “No.” For the first time, he looked amused. “I want you to board with me.”

  “I’m sorry, what?” This time Kate was the one who backed away. “As in snowboard with you?” As in strap a piece of wood or whatever the hell it was made out of to her feet and go racing down a freezing cold snowfield?

  Jaden’s smile answered the question. That was exactly what he wanted her to do. Which proved he was crazy. The man was nuttier than a five-pound fruitcake. “I can’t snowboard,” she informed him. “I don’t even have a snowboard.” So there.

  “I grabbed one from the rental shop, along with some boots that I think should fit you fine.”

  Damn his thoughtfulness. “I’ve never been snowboarding.” She eased a few more feet of distance between them. “This might come as a shock, but I’m actually not outdoorsy. At all.”

  “I know.” He approached her, taking her forearms in his hands, and dear Lord his touch wrecked her.

  “You do?” she almost whispered. Here she thought she’d played her part of the outdoorsy chick pretty damn well over the last week.

  “I kind of put it together.” One corner of his delicious mouth lifted higher than the other. “That’s one reason you were so eager to help out with Bella, right? Because you didn’t want to go back out on the trail to finish your mysterious trek?”

  “I hate camping,” she confessed. “I hate the bugs and the dirt and peeing in the woods. Oh, and I hate the stupid tents that suck at being waterproof.”

  Jaden laughed. “I figured.” He pulled her close, locking his hands at the small of her back. “But I don’t think you’ll hate snowboarding.”

  “I guess we’ll find out.” For him, she’d give it a try. She’d do pretty much anything to make him happy, to hear him laugh again. Even if it involved adrenaline.

  * * *

  “I don’t know about this.” Kate reached for Jaden’s arm and peered down at the snow that stretched out below them.

  “I don’t know about this either,” he admitted. What had appeared to be a pristine, sparkling field of snow suddenly looked a lot more like an icy death trap. Now he knew what could happen. He knew he had no control out here. Life could change in seconds if he made one wrong move or caught an edge.

  But he also knew that things could be restored, that there could be healing, if he found the courage to seek it out. Kate had reminded him of that. She’d proven there could be light at the end of his tunnel of despair, but you had to work for it. So here he was, slowly inching toward that light, sweating and sick to his stomach.

  He’d purposely chosen this spot because it wasn’t as steep as some of the other areas he used to frequent, which meant it should be an easy place for Kate to learn. But he couldn’t seem to move his legs. Might as well be honest with her. “I’m not sure I can do this.” Stay standing. Glide over the snow the way he used to without a thought. Even just the feel of the frozen ground beneath him was enough to trigger the memories of kneeling at Kipp’s side, seeing him unresponsive…

  Grunting in her cute, soft way, Kate inched her snowboard toward him until she was close enough to squeeze his hands. “You can. Let’s do it together.” A brave willingness came out in her smile, which meant he couldn’t wimp out now. He’d told her everything, and she still looked at him the same way. The ugliness of his story didn’t shock her, or overwhelm her, or even make her question his integrity. He’d never been given a greater gift.

  “Okay.” Jaden locked his weak knees and then held her steady with an arm around her waist. It was awkward with both of them on their boards, inverted sideways on the mountain, but she would need his help.

  “First, you want to find your balance.” He assumed the position so she could see—weight centered, knees soft.

  She emulated his posture. “Like this?”

  Taking her hips in his hands, he set her back slightly. “Perfect. How does it feel?”

  “Awkward.” Her body wobbled. “I don’t like having my feet strapped into something.”

  “You’ll get the feel for it.” And he would do his best to keep her upright. Maybe that would distract him from the sudden surge in his blood pressure. “Make sure to keep your center of gravity low, then put more weight onto your downhill leg.” He let go of her and showed her what he meant, sliding down only a foot so he could catch her or break her fall if he had to.

  “Whoa…” Kate eased her weight onto the downhill leg, arms flailing. Somehow, she caught herself and balanced, inching the board down to where he stood.

  “You’re a natural.” He couldn’t resist touching her, taking her hands and seeing the color rise to her face.

  She looked up at him from under those long eyelashes. “I don’t know about that, but this isn’t as terrible as I thought it’d be.”

  “It’s not as terrible as I thought it would be either.” She kept his mind off the fears. “I meant getting back on a board isn’t as terrible,” he clarified. “Not being here with you.” He eyed her mouth, trying to decide how hard it would be to kiss her when they were both standing on snowboards. “I like being here with you.”

  She smiled softly at him, still holding on to his hands. “Thank you for letting me be here. For trusting me.” The last words wobbled out, full of emotion.

  Screw keeping our balance. He leaned over and kissed her, securing one hand on her forearm to keep her upright and stroking her cheek with the other.

  When he pulled back, Kate seemed to be breathing harder, though they hadn’t actually gone anywhere.

  “So we have to go all the way down to the end?” She moved her gaze down the slope.

  It was either that or ditch the boards and hike back to the top. “If you’re up for it.”

  “I guess,” she muttered, but she also smiled.

  “We’ll take it slow.” He released her and eased into the board again, sliding it slowly down the hill in a path she could follow.

  Kate started out behind him, but her balance was off.

  “Low center of gravity,” he called.

  “I don’t know how!” She started to panic, body lurching, her arms flailing, the board going vertical. She picked up speed, coming straight for him.

  Uh-oh…

  Just before she plowed into him, he opened his arms, catching her against his chest. The momentum knocked them both backward, and Kate landed on top of him.

  Bella barked and ran circles around them, as though she wanted in on the game.

  Jaden grinned at Kate. “At least I broke your fall.”

  “Oh my God, you should’ve seen your face.” She shook with laughter, which made him laugh too. It felt good to laugh. Felt good to be out here on the mountain, lying in the snow, feeling this woman against him. There was nothing quite like feeling Kate against him.

  When they would lie on the couch after dinner in the evenings, their legs tangled as they kissed and touched and murmured about how enjoyable it all was, he felt normal and whole. Part of something again. The last time she’d pulled away and said she’d better get going, it almost killed him, but he hadn’t wanted to push her. He needed her to want him as much as he wanted her.

  Did she? Did that growing hunger gnaw at her the way it did him?

  He closed his arms around her. “Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want you to leave.”

  She propped her chin up on her fist. “That depends…how comfortable is your bed?” She was teasing him again. And damn he loved it.

  “The bed is okay. But you should see the tub in the master bathroom.”

  “Big enough for two?”

 
“I’d hope so. It takes up half the bathroom.” When he first saw it, he’d thought it was a ridiculous waste of space, but now he could see the benefits of having a huge tub.

  “Perfect.” Kate moved her face closer to his, her eyes full of everything he needed in his life—humor and fun and depth too. She seemed to see so much in him. The good. What he thought had been lost.

  “I’d love to stay,” she murmured. “I’ll need a good hot soak after this little adventure.”

  “In that case, let’s cut this run short and hike back up.” He snuck his hand into her fleece coat and felt his way up her chest.

  She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance, but her heart beat faster under his palm. “We just got here.”

  “Snowboarding is overrated.” Especially compared to sex.

  She wriggled away and maneuvered to a sitting position. “We can head back soon. But first I want to see you ride all the way down there.” She pointed to where the snow tapered off into wet, soggy grass. “You need to finish this run, Jaden.”

  He loved the sound of his real name on her lips. “What about you?”

  “I’ll watch. That’s how I learn best anyway.” She took his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his, brushing them softly, waking him once again. “Go. Alone. Do what you came here to do.” She obviously understood how much he needed this, to rediscover peace out here.

  He reluctantly stood, surprised to find the dread was gone. There was nothing but anticipation. Starting out slowly, he eased his weight onto his downhill foot, cutting across the mountain before leaning into a turn. Slushy snow sprayed all the way up to his face, cold and familiar. He let himself pick up speed, taking the turns quicker, carving a wavy line into the snow. Wind sailed across his face, stinging his nose the way it always did when he really cut loose and flew.

  “Woohoo!” Kate cheered behind him, clapping and whistling. He crouched lower, using the momentum and speed to cut and jump, feeling lighter than he had in three dark months.

  Chapter Eight

  They didn’t even make it inside the house before Jaden started to kiss her. He moved swiftly around the Jeep and opened her door, taking her hand.

  The captivated, aroused look on his face heated Kate all the way to her core.

  Seeing him on that mountain—facing whatever demons had chased him through the last few months—had done something to her. She no longer cared about the article. Or Gregor. Or her stupid job as a senior editor. She wanted Jaden. All of him.

  Bella scooted out of the Jeep after Kate, barking as though she didn’t understand what was happening.

  Jaden seemed to ignore the dog. His eyes were intense on Kate’s, speaking all sorts of hot, scandalous things without saying a word. He pinned her against the side of the Jeep, kissing her lips, sweeping his tongue through her mouth. Then he pulled back, stealing a glance at her, smiling that private, sexy smile.

  Bella wedged herself between their legs and whined.

  “It’s okay, pup.” He reassured her with a quick scratch behind the ears before Kate directed his gaze back to hers by threading her fingers into his hair and holding his face in place so they could take the kiss deeper. So much deeper. His lips were fused to hers with a heat that set her skin ablaze and made her body burn for him. “Inside,” she managed to gasp. “Take me inside.”

  He hoisted her into his arms, and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as he carried her through the garage door. Kate was so busy kissing him that she caught only a glimpse of poor Bella tagging along behind them.

  Jaden brought her through the kitchen and then the living room, all the way to the master bedroom, kissing her mouth with a recklessness she happily matched.

  He paused near the bed. “We forgot all about the dinner I packed.”

  “Later,” Kate gasped. “We can have dinner in bed.”

  “I love that idea.” He carried her across the room and set her feet on the floor just inside the bathroom.

  He hadn’t been exaggerating. The bathtub in the master suite was enormous. A freestanding rectangle that was tucked into a marble-tiled alcove in front of a large picture window that looked out on the mountain. It was straight out of a fantasy—gleaming white porcelain with a crystal chandelier dangling overhead.

  “Holy mother,” Kate murmured, staring at the beauty over Jaden’s shoulder.

  He held her close. “Are you using me for my bathtub?”

  “Yes,” she said with fabricated certainty. Then she worked her hands up his chest underneath his T-shirt and leaned into him, running her tongue along his neck until she’d reached his ear. “Is that a problem?”

  “Nope.” He jumped into action, plugging the drain and turning on the water, holding his hand under the faucet to test the temperature.

  The running water seemed to spook the dog. Bella scampered out of the bathroom and plopped herself on a cushy pillow next to the king-sized bed. Obviously the dog was not a fan of baths.

  Jaden left the water running and came at Kate again, lifting her back into his arms. “It feels so good to hold you,” he whispered against her shoulder. He carried her to the king-sized bed and set her on the very edge, standing close enough that she could raise his T-shirt and kiss his tight abs.

  His breath hitched each time she pressed her lips to his skin. As she tasted him, his hands smoothed down her hair. He stepped back and took her right foot in his hands, removing the boot, and then her sock, watching her eyes the whole time. He did the same with her other foot, caressing her toes with his thumb until she lay back on the bed, moaning like she was already halfway to an orgasm. “Wow. You’re amazing.”

  “Are you using me for my massage skills?” he asked, running a single finger down the length of her foot.

  “Yes,” she whispered. She loved the way he touched her. His hands were so strong, knowing and perceiving, taking their cues from the sounds she made, the movements of her body.

  Jaden grinned. “Use away.” He inched closer and caught the waist of her yoga pants in his fingers, tugging them down her hips, efficiently taking her lace underwear with them. Moving even closer to the mattress, he edged his body in between her legs and leaned over to unzip the coat she was still wearing. He worked slowly, watching her face between long gazes down her body like he didn’t want to miss one detail.

  Gently, he pulled one of her arms out of the coat and then the other, shoving her jacket aside before securing his hands to her waist under her T-shirt. “You’re so beautiful, Kate. Such a good person.” The words were almost solemn, as though he didn’t think he deserved this, deserved her. But he didn’t know.

  She cupped her hands on his shoulders, bringing him down to lie over her. “You’re a good person too. Strong and thoughtful and funny.” So profound in his thoughts, tender in his touch. “I’ve made mistakes.” The biggest one lately not telling him everything the first day she’d met him.

  “Mistakes can be forgiven.” He slid his hands higher up her rib cage, pulling off her shirt and letting it pool behind her.

  “I hope so.” She drew in a long, sustaining breath as his finger traced the very edge of her lace bra.

  One of his hands eased under her back and popped the clasp, and then he shifted onto his side next to her and pulled the garment away. His gaze swept over her, dark and greedy. Jaden kicked off his own boots, pushed off the bed, and pulled her up to stand with him, pressing her body to his as he maneuvered back to the bathroom. He broke away only long enough to shut off the water, and then he had her back in his arms.

  Kate took over, peeling his shirt up and over his head, letting it fall to the floor next to them. She kissed his neck, his chest, sliding her tongue seductively over his skin while she unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down, taking his boxers with them. “Actually, maybe I’m using you for your body.” She stood back to admire him—all that hard, angled muscle tensed into perfection.

  “Like I said…use away.”

  “Oh, I plan to.” Keeping
him in anticipation, she stepped into the tub and slowly lowered her body to the water. Resting her head against the side, she closed her eyes. “Ohhhhh.”

  “That good, huh?” Jaden climbed in and settled his back against the opposite side to face her.

  “I can think of something better.” She shifted to her knees, opening her legs to straddle his hips.

  His chest expanded with a long breath. “You’ve changed so much for me.” He gazed steadily into her eyes. “It’s been so long since I’ve felt anything…”

  “What do you feel now?” She ground her hips into his, moving over his erection, feeling it slide against her, slick and hard.

  “You.” He held her tighter against him. “I feel you. Everywhere. In my head. In my heart. In my arms.” He kissed her so torturously slow, as though he wanted to make it last as long as possible. But there was too much passion surging through her, too much want nudging her closer to the edge.

  She stilled her body, and Jaden sat up straighter, bringing his mouth to her breasts, nipping and kissing his way from one to the other. Her head fell back, the ache for him driving deeper into her.

  He traced his lips up her chest and back to her mouth while his hands caressed her back. He paused and looked into her eyes. “What are you thinking?”

  “How much I want this,” she murmured. “How much I want you.” It had all happened fast but he’d let her see everything, his pain, his heart. Way more than any other man had ever allowed her to see.

  Kate stood on weakened legs and stepped out of the tub. Within seconds, Jaden stood with her, kissing her as he slowly eased her backward toward the bathroom vanity. He lifted her and set her backside on the marble countertop and then opened a drawer and found a condom. She leaned over and kissed his shoulder while he put it on. “I need you inside of me,” she whispered, tugging on his hips and arching her back to bring him in deep.