Honoring Lena

by Sara Blackard

  Lena sat up straighter, horrified that her nose stung with unshed tears. She really should have followed through with telling Zeke to send someone else. Yet, she’d spent her days with Carter, and a week had tumbled into two that flowed to eight. She couldn’t imagine being comfortable leaving his safety to anyone else, whether or not the risk was real.

  Which meant she was more screwed than she wanted to acknowledge.

  She glanced around the room at the toys scattered on the floor and the ragged teddy bear Carter hauled everywhere. Warmth spread through her as the morning fun rushed back to her. The joyful feeling brought an unease that started in her toes and inched up her body.

  She couldn’t do this anymore. Couldn’t allow herself to be compromised again. Even being with Stryker Security had been a bad idea. She cared too much … felt too much. When Mr. Rand finished schmoozing whoever it was he spent his days with, and they all returned to Kentucky, she would give General Paxton a call. He still needed people for his covert team bent on bringing down the organization responsible for the corruption that led to Ethan’s death, the organization Stryker had too many run-ins with over the last year.

  They were still trying to follow trails that connected June Rivas’s mad dash across the country with Sosimo last fall with what Kiki’s mom had disclosed after the entire fiasco in Colombia. There were so many threads to pull that Lena wondered if one of them, once untangled, would lead to Mr. Rand. Why else would he change his vote so suddenly? Maybe it was best for her to stick around and dig a little deeper.

  “Eena, ook!” Carter leaned to the side and pointed at the scribbles that vaguely resembled bodies. “Me made us. At’s you, me, and Daddy. We happy.”

  “That’s nice, Carter.” Lena squeezed the praise through her tight throat.

  Who was she kidding? There wasn’t enough evidence to suggest Rand was involved, and she couldn’t stay on this assignment any longer. Not with the way her heart became entangled with Carter more and more with each passing day.

  Instead of helping take down those who had killed Ethan and ruined her life, she helped the one who had betrayed his countrymen, giving up a piece of herself with each cheerful smile and heartwarming hug she received from Carter. Her warring emotions left her weary and on edge. Maybe she shouldn’t wait until they returned to Kentucky. Maybe she should contact the general and set up an interview while they were here. Her heart picked up speed with the thought, and she couldn’t tell if it was in anticipation or dread.

  Three

  Carter’s high-pitched singing accompanied by a lower, more beautiful voice greeted Marshall in the hallway to the living room. Even though he had a plan and had put it in motion, his heart still beat in his throat and his head buzzed with panic, so he leaned against the wall to calm himself. He didn’t want to scare Carter. He also didn’t want Lena Rebel to think he’d lost his cool. If her judgmental glances and low huffing were any indication, she already found him lacking. Flipping out like a crazed man would push any chance of gaining her respect right over the cliff.

  Not that her thoughts toward him mattered. She might give everyone that look of deficiency for all he knew. It didn’t change the fact that he came away from her presence feeling as if he’d failed … again. He battled with that demon enough without her encouragement.

  He took a deep breath, letting their song wash over him, and peeked into the room. Carter sat on Lena’s lap at the small table against the window. She combed her fingers absentmindedly through his blond hair as she took in the surroundings. Carter’s head bent over the table, his body wiggling side to side in a dance to the music. Man, how had Marshall’s entire world gotten compressed into that one little body? There wouldn’t be anything left of him if he lost Carter.

  Lena shifted, her back straightening from its relaxed position. Even from the hallway, Marshall could see her jaw flex as she rapidly blinked her eyes. Was she trying not to cry? Marshall found it hard to believe she even had tender emotions.

  “Eena, look.” Carter turned on Lena’s lap, his face bright with excitement as he explained the happy picture of the three of them together.

  Like a family.

  Jealousy scorched hot through his gut and raced heat to his face. Lena didn’t deserve his son’s love. She was nothing but a glorified babysitter. Carter should draw pictures of Amara, his mother, not some woman hired to watch him. And whose fault is that?

  Marshall slumped against the wall, dragging his hand down his face. My fault … all mine. Lena wasn’t guilty of anything but doing her job. Carter was such a tenderhearted person, always loving, even to strangers. It made sense he’d include Lena in his affection. She’d been with him all hours of the day for the last two months.

  “That’s a beautiful picture.” Lena’s voice was tight, not her normal, efficient tone.

  “Me made it for you.” Carter pushed it into her hands.

  The paper shook slightly as she took it. Why was a simple scribbling affecting her so much? Marshall never would’ve believed the tough-as-nails woman would get all mushy over such a thing. He’d known some resilient women from his time in the Air Force. Even his Amara had had an unbreakable attitude toward life, but he’d never met someone as focused and closed off as Lena Rebel.

  “Thanks, buddy.” She cleared her throat, her smile forced as she looked at Carter. “I’ll keep it, even after I leave.”

  What did she mean by that?

  Carter threw his little arms around her and kissed her soundly on the cheek. “Me love you, Eena.”

  Marshall couldn’t take it anymore. Besides, they didn’t have time to waste. He cleared his throat and stepped into the living room.

  “Daddy!” Carter scrambled off of Lena’s lap and rushed into Marshall’s outstretched arms.

  “Hey, squirt.” Marshall tucked his head against Carter’s, pulling his small body as close as he could.

  Lena stood, her gaze bouncing down the hall before focusing like a laser to his face. Her expression had lost any softness it may have had while talking with Carter. Good. He needed her focused.

  “What’s wrong?” Her words clipped out like rapid-fire artillery, and her hand went to her concealed holster he knew she had tucked in the front of her jeans.

  Good. Maybe her being all business all the time would come in handy finally.

  “We need to leave now.” Marshall stomped to the dinosaur backpack in the corner, carrying Carter with him.

  “All right.” Lena rushed to her pack he’d never seen her without and shoved her things in it. “What’s going on?”

  “I don’t have time to explain right now.” Marshall bent to pick up Carter’s toys. “We leave in five. Can you be packed?”

  Lena’s eyes darted to the ceiling and back to Carter, still in Marshall’s arms. It was irrational to still be holding him, but Marshall couldn’t seem to force himself to put his son down. When she turned her gaze on Marshall, he lifted one brow in challenge.

  “I’ve got him.” Marshall put a hand on Carter’s back in a move that bordered on possessive.

  Lena must’ve picked up the sentiment because her forehead furrowed. She gave one quick nod, then hurried out of the room, taking the tension that had built out with her. Marshall let out a deep sigh, then focused on cramming as many toys as he could into the backpack.

  “Where we going, Daddy?” Carter reached for his teddy bear and clutched it close. “Are we going home?”

  Why had Marshall insisted Carter and Lena come with him? Had his meetings with legislators put his family back on the radar of whoever seemed to have such control? Maybe if he’d left Carter at home in Kentucky, whoever he’d upset would have just focused their pressure on Marshall. Then again, they might have gotten to Carter easier back home.

  Marshall shook his head. At least with him here, Marshall wouldn’t have the plane ride home to spend filled with worry over what he’d find when he got home.

  “We’re going on a trip to a great enormous lake.” Ma
rshall set Carter down so he could zip up the backpack.

  Carter clapped and did a little dance from side to side. “Me love lakes.”

  A small smile pushed Marshall’s cheeks up as he breathed a quick laugh out of his nose. Even when his blood pressure was about to soar to the sky with stress, this kid lightened his mood.

  “What’s the plan?” Lena stomped in, her and Carter’s duffels packed.

  He glanced at his watch. Three minutes. Impressive.

  “We’re heading to the airport, then leaving for a private location.” Marshall picked Carter back up, the command in his voice sharp. “Security detail only.”

  One delicate eyebrow rose over her dark, almost black eyes. “Okay.” She nodded to Carter. “If we’re keeping the premise that I’m just a nanny, I’ll need to take him.”

  Marshall squeezed Carter tighter. His son looked from Lena to Marshall, his head tilting to the side in confusion. Just when Marshall had gotten his heart rate under control, it picked back up. A tightness banded across his chest as he shifted from one foot to the other.

  Lena’s eyes softened a moment. Her cheek flexed, and the expression disappeared. Placing the bags on the carpet, she stepped close and opened her hands in a non-combative move.

  “If my assignment has changed, I can fall in formation with the rest of your detail.” She took another step closer. “But if you want my position as bodyguard to stay on the down low, I need to appear like who you’ve set me up to be.”

  It made sense. Not even Ed knew her actual identity. To everyone but Marshall, she was Elena Anderson, Carter’s nanny.

  When he’d approached Zeke Greene, owner of Stryker Security Force, the ex-special force member had insisted that no one know what Lena was there for. Her assignment would be compromised if her true purpose wasn’t kept undercover. Since his friend and business associate, June Rivas, insisted Stryker was the best, Marshall agreed to Zeke’s terms.

  It didn’t make letting his son go into the arms of another any easier. He swallowed, patted Carter on the back, and handed him to her. Then, without looking back, he stepped past and grabbed the bags from where she’d dropped them.

  As he led them down the hall and to the waiting car, his mind raced with what still needed to be done. How could he leave and risk everything he’d pushed for the last months to fall apart? What if Ed wasn’t able to talk the remaining waffling legislators into signing the bill limiting terms?

  Lena buckled Carter into his carseat as he bounced his teddy on his lap and sang a nonsense song about lakes. She smiled at him, but her eyes scanned behind them through the back window of the car. The movement wasn’t obvious, and if Marshall didn’t know why she was really with their family, he wouldn’t have noticed.

  “Daddy?” Carter gazed up at him, drawing his attention. “We see fish in the lake?”

  “Maybe.” Marshall swallowed as Carter’s face lit up just like Amara’s used to.

  “Me loves fish.” He squeezed his teddy into a hug.

  “Me too, buddy.” Marshall stared at his son.

  His worries over the upcoming bill faded to a low buzz at the back of his brain as the car sped toward the airport. Even the demands of his manufacturing business slowed their constant whirl within his brain. Nothing mattered above his son’s safety. There would always be another chance to support new laws if there weren’t enough votes to get the change the nation needed this time. Even the expansions for the company in Texas could wait until things settled. First, he’d get Carter secure, then see what needed done next.

  Four

  Lena stared out the wall-to-ceiling windows at Lake Coeur d’Alene in northern Idaho as she stalked to Mr. Rand’s office. She had to admit the scenery took her breath away. Though, as beautiful as it was, it couldn’t compare to her Alaskan mountains.

  They’d arrived late the night before after racing to the airport and hopscotching across the nation. Ed had been waiting on the small airport’s tarmac, and he and Mr. Rand had whispered low before Mr. Rand had clapped Ed on the shoulder. Ed had lingered in the hug he’d given Carter, the corner of his eyes crinkled in concern. Something big had happened, and even though Mr. Rand had many opportunities to explain, she still had limited intel, which caused her muscles to twitch in anticipation of the unknown.

  That would change in about two-point-three seconds, whether or not Mr. Rand was ready to spew. Lena flexed her fingers, the snapping sound reminding her to relax. Her ma had always said Lena was too quick to push her objectives, insisting she’d get people to see her way if she used a chisel instead of a wrecking ball. Lena had chiseled away the day before and all morning with questioning looks and pointed statements. With Carter taking a nap, it was past time to call in the heavy equipment.

  Her phone buzzed in her pocket, startling her to a stop. She hadn’t left it in the plane like Mr. Rand had insisted all the security detail, even himself, do. Rafe had put so much protection on her phone, there would be no way for anyone to track it, and she needed a secure way to contact the team. Since taking this assignment, she hadn’t talked with anyone but her weekly check-in with Zeke and the monthly calls to her ma. Everyone knew she hated being bothered while working.

  She pulled out the phone and rolled her eyes when her brother’s picture smiled up at her. Bjørn always was the first to push her buttons. He was also her closest sibling. Surviving war together would do that.

  “What?” Lena huffed into the phone as she scanned the lake’s shore.

  “Wow, Lena, it’s so nice to talk to you too.” Bjørn’s exaggerated cheerfulness had her eyes heading toward the back of her lids again.

  She shook her head to stop the childish motion. Her nerves made her snarky—well, snarkier than normal. Her brother didn’t deserve her ire.

  “Sorry. It’s been a trying day.” She took a calming breath while she watched a pair of ducks glide across the lake’s surface.

  “What? A toddler’s too much for you to handle? Do you need reinforcements?” Bjørn snickered, and her eyes narrowed.

  What was she thinking when she told him the basics of this job? Note to self: cut Bjørn off of inside information and beat him to a pulp at the next possible opportunity. She smiled at the thought of their next sparring round. She’d make sure he paid.

  “All right. Unless you have a reason for calling, I’m hanging up.” Lena glanced down the hall, then checked the video feed of Carter that streamed to her watch.

  Having a rich boss had its advantages. Her watch would beep and vibrate on her wrist when it detected movement in the room. Perfect for watching out for intruders and keeping tabs on a little boy who liked to sneak out of his room and find himself a snack.

  “I wanted you to know that I finally found her.” Bjørn’s excitement pulled at her through the phone, and she was suddenly glad for the chance to talk to him.

  “You mean you finally got someone to date you?” Lena smirked at her own joke, then went in for the kill. “Did Ma have to set you up again?”

  “No, Lena, my bird. I finally found the perfect helicopter.” He made a noise that bordered on a snort. “And, I’ll have you know, I have no problem finding dates on my own.”

  With his handsome looks and daring personality, she doubted he had any trouble at all. Which made her wonder why he hadn’t found someone in the last year since he’d been out of the military? For that matter, why hadn’t he dated much while in the military?

  “Is she everything you ever wanted?” Lena teased.

  “And more. This beaut has all the whistles. I’ll be able to use it guiding, search and rescue, air tours, you name it.”

  She could picture him flying over the Alaskan Range, the midnight sun shining brightly through the windshield. The longing for home hit her hard and fast, like a perfectly aimed right hook to the solar plexus. She closed her eyes, willing the emotion to leave.

  She cleared her throat and forced her words out. “That sounds amazing.”

  Bjørn continued
like he didn’t notice the thickness in her voice. Which didn’t surprise her. She knew how he could get tunnel vision. It seemed to be a family trait, whether good or bad.

  “I’m in Spokane picking her up right now.” The distinct ch-ch of a helicopter sounded in the background.

  “Spokane? When do you leave?”

  He was only about thirty minutes away. The need to see family burned so hot she almost told him where she was. Could she get a few hours off to run and see him? She shook her head.

  Don’t be a ninny.

  She didn’t know why Mr. Rand had raced them across the country. If it was half as bad as he made it out to be, then she wouldn’t be seeing her family or anyone else for a while. She really needed to go talk to him and figure out what was going on.

  “I’m flying out tomorrow, probably early afternoon. I need to do a few things before I leave, make sure she’s ready for the long trip. Plan on hopping her home to the parents’ in time for the anniversary party.” His words sank heavy to the bottom of her stomach.

  She’d forgotten all about her parents’ thirty-fifth anniversary. They’d be having a big shindig at the ranch with all the siblings, aunts and uncles, and cousins. She hadn’t been to a gathering in so long, she wondered if she’d even recognize anyone.

  “I’m thrilled for you, Bjørn.” Lena bit her lip, ready to finish with this call so she could get back to work, but also hating not keeping this reminder of home on the phone a little longer. “I’ll be praying for your trip. Let me know when you make it, okay?”