Honoring Lena

by Sara Blackard

  She closed her eyes, rubbing her fingers across her lids to ease the dryness. She prayed she was right and that they could find a place to lie low and figure out what was going on. Ever since they’d left Virginia, she hadn’t felt like she could breathe fully.

  “Smart. I’ll get Rafe to reinforce your info and see if anyone has been poking around.” Zeke sighed.

  A soft touch on her knee snapped her hand down. Marshall rose his eyebrow in question and mouthed, “Are you okay?” Her heart raced faster and faster, like the ice breaking up on the Tanana River in the spring. The more water exposed, the quicker the ice rushed downstream, the big chunks tumbling over each other for the race to the sea. She forced a smile, then scooted farther onto the bed, ignoring the way Marshall’s face fell as he settled on the opposite bed beside a sleeping Carter.

  “There’s more, Zeke.” Lena breathed out a sharp breath. “I think the people after the Rands are the same people that attacked June and kidnapped Kiki, Eva, and Derrick.”

  “What?” Marshall stood fast and sat on the edge of her bed, and she pulled her knees up to her chest to keep from touching him again.

  His face filled with intense focus, willing her to tell him what was going on. She held up her hand to halt any questions. She had to fill Zeke in first, then she could get Marshall up to speed. He mouthed, “Speaker.” So, with a huff, she clicked the call to speakerphone.

  “Why do you think that?” Tapping came through the phone. Zeke’s habit of tapping his fingers when he was thinking helped her relax a little more. She wasn’t in this by herself. Her team would do anything to help her keep Carter and Marshall safe.

  “Well, Marshall was given a note that threatened they’d kill Carter like they killed his wife.” She stared at Marshall.

  “I thought his wife died in a car accident.”

  “Apparently not.” Sorrow filled Lena for Carter, who would never know his mother and for Marshall, who lost his wife. “Her death was connected to the border bill. The one bill that …”

  She paused, not wanting to speak about Ethan and how Marshall’s vote sealed his death. Ever since she’d started working for him, she’d wanted him to know, longed to march into his office and tell him the vivid details of Ethan’s death so they could haunt him too. But now, she wasn’t so sure. Her righteous anger didn’t burn so hot at the moment. She stared at her knees, sick with how easily she’d given up on finding justice for Ethan. Had she really loved him? Not working for the general on his team, and now, not wanting Marshall to know what he did made her think she hadn’t really loved Ethan. Not like she should have.

  “I know the one, Lena.” Anger and grief tinged Zeke’s voice. “So, since the same organization has been involved in all those instances, it makes sense it’s involved now.”

  “Yeah.” Grief thickened her voice, so she cleared her throat, determined to move this conversation forward. She needed sleep, though she doubted she’d find any tonight. “Have you gotten any updates from Paxton?”

  “No, just that every time they think they’re close, they find something new that digs them a little deeper.” Zeke’s statement made her question not going to work for Paxton even more.

  “They need more help.” She knew it, but was she strong enough to leave what she’d found at Stryker?

  “Not from you.” Zeke was always good at reading minds.

  She pressed the icon to turn the speaker off and put the phone to her ear.

  “Why not?” Her hackles rose. Didn’t he think she could do it?

  “Because I need you on our team, Rebel. You’re family.” Zeke’s voice dropped. “Besides, you’re much too emotional about it, and emotions have no place in war.”

  “Or I’m exactly what his team needs.” Besides, she could control her emotions. No one knew just how much pain and anger she kept locked within.

  Marshall shifted, drawing her gaze to him. He stared at her, his eyes skimming over her face like he was trying to figure her out. She turned her head, shuttered her expression, and looked across the room toward the closed blinds. He could search all he wanted, but all he’d find was the shield she wore to protect herself.

  “We used the fake passports Rafe made for the Rands to get into Canada. Have him double-check that those are still good.” She wanted off this call.

  “I’ll send someone up to help.” Zeke’s words sent panic rising up her throat.

  “No,” she practically shouted, and Carter shifted where he slept on the opposite bed. She lowered her voice. “I don’t want to risk that they’re watching Stryker, and we lead them right to us.”

  She also didn’t want to risk any more of her team getting hurt by these guys. Zeke would flip a brick if he knew, but she was already putting her family at risk. She didn’t want to take any more chances than she had to. Once they made it to the mountains, everyone would be secure, so anyone Zeke sent up would be bored out of their minds.

  “Lena.”

  “Zeke, we’ll only be at my parents’ long enough to get supplies, then we’re heading to the mountains.” Lena huffed out a sigh, wishing they could be there now. “The cabin is small, off-grid, and no one knows it’s there.”

  “All right.” Doubt was thick in his voice. “But you call if anything happens, and make sure Bjørn is close to help if needed.”

  “Copy that.” She rubbed her temple at the headache building. “I’ll check in when I can.”

  “Stay alert,” Zeke commanded.

  “Stay safe,” she replied with the rest of the army saying.

  The call ended, and her screen went black. Had she made the right decision in not having Zeke send someone up? Doubt clawed up her chest, making it hard to breathe.

  “What’s this team you’re talking about?” Marshall pulled his foot up onto the bed, making himself comfortable when she wanted him to leave. “The one connected to General Paxton?”

  “It’s classified.” Lena set her phone on the nightstand.

  “Lena.” Marshall’s eyes begged her to tell him.

  “It’s late. I’m exhausted, and we’re leaving early.” She scooted on the bed and got under the covers.

  He stared her down, his face hardening to a stubborn look her brothers often got. Too bad for him that she could be just as stubborn, maybe more. She motioned to the other bed with her head and stretched out on the far side of her bed, away from him.

  He didn’t move, and Lena closed her eyes and willed herself not to roll over. His harsh breathing behind her voiced his displeasure and possibly shock. Did anyone ever go against his orders? Probably not to his face. A hard huff was followed by the shifting of him getting off the bed.

  He deserved to know, especially with what happened to his wife. She didn’t think she could explain right now, with her emotions frayed and so close to the surface. Once she got some sleep and some distance from the stress of the day, she’d be able to give a report to him—a clinically detailed report. No grief tainting her words. No fear clouding her thoughts. She could bring him up to speed without giving all the information.

  Just who was she protecting, Marshall or herself? A chill froze her core, and she tightened the blanket around her. The light clicked off and plunged the room into darkness, but her mind raced long into the night.

  Nine

  Marshall’s jaw dropped as he stared out the window at the homestead below them while the helicopter made its decent. The Rebel Ranch sat on the east side of a wide valley surrounded by mountains that jutted to the sky. Yet, it wasn’t really a ranch at all.

  A large log cabin that could easily be featured on any upscale magazine was in the middle of a huge manicured lawn. Birch, aspen, and spruce surrounded the lawn like a reminder that the Alaskan wilderness waited patiently to claim the land as its own. A small creek meandered along one side of the open area, weaving in and out of the trees. Smaller cabins were placed along the creek. Tucked a short walk behind the house, a lake sparkled in the late morning sun, complete with a moose ch
omping on grass.

  Bjørn continued past the main homestead to a landing strip sliced through the trees. Three small planes, quintessentially Alaskan, parked next to a hangar. Exactly what kind of family did Lena come from?

  “I thought you said this was a ranch?” He turned and looked between the Rebel siblings.

  Lena’s mouth turned up on one side as she gazed out her window. That small action shouldn’t enthrall him, especially since he was still upset with her. Though she’d had two and a half more days of travel after that first night to clue him in to exactly what was going on, she’d avoided every chance they had to talk. Why couldn’t she just tell him? He deserved to know, especially since it involved Amara’s death and the border bill that caused her murder.

  Bjørn threw his head back and laughed, drawing Marshall back to the present. “My dad started calling it Rebel Ranch back when they first bought it. Said the name had a nice ring to it.” Bjørn checked his gauges and window. “The only animals we’ve ever had are dogs and some annoying chickens my ma babies. The place used to be an old roadhouse along the original highway south toward Anchorage. My parents bought the place, tore down the original building that was falling apart, and built their cabin. Over the years, they’ve fixed up the original small guest cabins, one that John Wayne stayed in when he was filming North to Alaska, and built the other guest cabins. It’s gone from a rundown memory to a world-renowned, semi-private retreat. They don’t have any guests this week, because of the party, so we’ll have the place all to ourselves.”

  The skids touched down, and Bjørn flipped switches to shut down the engine. Marshall unbuckled and turned to get Carter. Lena already had him out and scrambling to get for the door. Marshall pushed down his frustration. Even when he tried to be a better dad to Carter, he was too slow in jumping to action. Would he ever be able to be the father Carter needed? He shook the question off and grabbed gear as he exited. It didn’t help that Lena was great at taking care of his son. What a stupid thing to think. Marshall should be glad that she knew what she was doing, not jealous.

  A large, white wolf barreled out of the trees with a vicious bark that rose all the hairs on Marshall’s body. He rushed to Carter, who had frozen at the sight of the beast, and lifted his small, trembling body into his arms. Could they get back into the helicopter before the animal attacked?

  “Snowflake, no. Calm down.” Lena commanded the dog with laughter in her voice.

  Marshall turned back to the wolf that wasn’t a wolf, his fear transforming to shock as the giant crouched low to the ground, its entire body shaking as its tail wagged. “Snowflake?”

  “Embarrassing, isn’t it?” Bjørn walked behind him and clapped Marshall on the shoulder as he strapped down the skids. “Our youngest sister named him.”

  “What exactly is he?” Marshall tightened his hold on Carter as the dog cocked his head to the side like he was deciding if they would taste good.

  “He’s a Great Pyrenees.” Lena rubbed Snowflake’s oversized, hairy head. “My parents keep him around to protect the place from predators. Come on over here, and I’ll introduce you.”

  A hint of a dare edged her voice. Great. Another reason for Lena Rebel to think less of him. At least he’d grabbed up Carter in his puppy terror. He pushed his shoulders back and strode to where she kneeled.

  “Come on, Carter. Let’s go meet Snowflake.” Marshall bent next to Lena and reached his hand out to let Snowflake sniff.

  Carter trembled in Marshall’s arms and buried his face into Marshall’s neck. His tiny arms squeezed so tight, Marshall’s head might pop off. He sat crisscross in the rough grass and rubbed his son’s back.

  “Hey, buddy. It’s okay.” Marshall tried to peel Carter off of him, only causing his little bands of steel to squeeze harder. “Carter, Snowflake here is a friendly dog. He helps keep people safe, and he’s really nice. Don’t you want to meet him?”

  Carter shook his head, his nose rubbing against Marshall’s neck. Marshall peeked at Lena, but she just shrugged and continued petting the dog. A lot of help she was. He rubbed his fingers through Snowflake’s soft fur by his ear.

  “Wow, Carter, you should feel how soft Snowflake’s fur is.” He hoped he pulled off excitement while keeping his tone calm.

  The dog licked Marshall’s hand and nudged it when he stopped petting. Marshall chuckled, scratching behind the big ear. As the dog groaned in contentment and thundered his massive tail against the dirt, Carter peeked up at Marshall’s face.

  “Noflake nice, Daddy?” Interest flashed through the worry on Carter’s face.

  Marshall smiled down at Carter as he patted him on the back. “Yeah, squirt. Snowflake is nice.”

  Carter turned to the dog, though he still pushed up against Marshall’s body. Marshall wrapped one arm around Carter’s stomach to help him feel protected and grabbed his son’s hand with his other. The importance of this moment crashed over Marshall. He was helping his son overcome a fear, maybe for the first time ever. Why had he kept himself so busy and missed out on so much?

  “If you hold your hand up like this, Snowflake will sniff you and see if he wants to be your friend.” Marshall held Carter’s hand toward the dog’s nose.

  When Snowflake stretched out his snout, Carter pulled his hand back and shook his head. “Me scared.”

  Marshall hugged Carter tightly. “I know you’re scared, buddy. Snowflake is a big dog.” Marshall smiled as Snowflake laid his body on the ground, whined, and inched himself closer. “I think Snowflake really wants to be your friend. He’s sad you’re scared of him.”

  Lena’s hand stilled where it had been languidly petting the dog’s side. Had he said something wrong again? She rubbed her lip with her other fingers as she stared at Marshall. She offered him a small smile that quickly faded, and looked down at Snowflake, who whined pathetically. Did the smile mean he was doing good?

  “Me don’t want Noflake sad.” Carter’s tiny hand shook as he reached it toward the dog.

  Snowflake stilled except the minuscule tap of his tail, like he knew he scared Carter. Carter held his hand in front of the dog’s nose, glancing up at Marshall for reassurance. Marshall nodded and smiled.

  “Perfect. Just let him sniff you,” Marshall whispered.

  Snowflake sniffed against the back of Carter’s hand, and Carter giggled. “Tickles.”

  “Why don’t you pet his fur?” Lena touched Carter’s fingers, then touched the side of the dog’s face. “He’s really soft.”

  There was something different about Lena’s tone. Marshall searched her face for clues of what she was thinking. As he stared, a soft pink touched her cheekbones. Was Lena Rebel blushing? He shook his head and focused back on Carter, who was running his fingers through the white fur. It must just be the way the sun was shining on her face. There was no way that Lena Rebel, the woman who barely tolerated his presence, would blush under his perusal. He shouldn’t be perusing her in the first place.

  Carter crawled off of Marshall’s lap and hugged Snowflake just as an older couple emerged from a trail through the woods. The man resembled Bjørn, with his tall, lean, muscled frame and dark, blond hair, while the woman walking hand in hand with him was petite, probably barely over five feet, and obviously of native descent. So, this was where Lena’s exotic looks came from.

  “Lena?” Her mother’s hand covered her mouth before she took off running toward Lena.

  Lena’s smile radiated pure joy as she pushed off the ground and rushed to meet her mom. From the moment he’d met Lena, he’d found her attractive. When she showed gentle and loving care to Carter, he had a hard time not staring. With her guard completely down and happiness shining from her, she was stunning.

  What had made her so guarded and terse? Did he really want to know, since it seemed to have something to do with him? Maybe now that they were done running, he could make her tell him about this elusive organization and what it had to do with him. If he approached it right, she might confess why sh
e barely tolerated him. Granted, she’d eased up on him since the attack, but he wanted more. The desire to see her smile brightly at him had taken root, and no matter how often or forcefully he argued with himself, he couldn’t rip the feeling loose.

  Ten

  “I didn’t know you were coming.” Lena’s ma squeezed her tightly, her strong hug filling Lena’s heart with a love she’d desperately needed.

  She’d waited far too long to come home, letting her grief and fear override her need for family. She wanted to punch herself in the face, knock some sense in. In staying away, she’d not only hurt herself, but from the tears sparkling in her ma’s eyes, her distance had broken her mother’s heart as well.

  “Move out of the way, Ma, and let me have my turn.” Her father gently pushed Ma out of the way and engulfed Lena into his powerful arms. “What’s brought you up here, pumpkin?”

  The question pinched with the implication something had forced her to come. The Rebel family was close. Growing up the way they had created a deeply attached family that took devotion to a level she’d rarely seen in other families.

  That was probably why she’d glued herself to the Stryker team instead of coming home. They mirrored the Rebel mold of tenacious devotion to each other, and she’d let that family step in when she couldn’t face the emptiness Ethan’s death had left in the vast Alaskan wilderness. But brotherly affection and bonding with the girls couldn’t replace the hug of her ma or the look of respect and adoration her dad gave as he took her in. While she had buried her dreams of an Alaskan future with Ethan, she didn’t need to isolate herself from those who loved her.