Sorrow and Second Chances

by E Bradshaw

  *****

  Lining up his next shot with care, Darcy leaned over the billiards table and took aim. His guests were all due to leave Pemberley on the following morning, and though Darcy would have much preferred to have been using every moment of the remaining time with Elizabeth, she had unfortunately been whisked away by his housekeeper and Georgiana, who apparently wished to seek her opinion on new decorations for the bedroom that would one day be hers. Thus, he had been left alone to entertain himself, though he could not help but mutter bad-tempered comments under his breath about over-zealous sisters. Charles was much more fortunate than he was and had somehow contrived to spend the afternoon alone with Jane. In comparison, he was forced to be patient, and wait for the opportunity to arise when he might be able to snatch Elizabeth away from her sisters and from his, just so he could spend a little time alone with her.

  Although he and Elizabeth had been spending more time together in the days since their engagement had been announced, to his mind it was still not enough. He was impatient for their wedding day, and for their marriage to begin, for he had loved having Elizabeth dwell at Pemberley for the last fortnight and he hated the idea of watching her leave in the morning. His more rational side reminded him that he would soon be following Elizabeth down to Hertfordshire in only a matter of weeks, and he knew in all fairness that their wedding day was not that long away – but still he could not help but feel miserable at the idea of her leaving. With such gloomy thoughts foremost in his mind, he took another shot on the billiards table; however, his concentration wasn’t so focussed as it would normally be and he applied too much force to his shot, thus sending the ball hurtling over the edge of the table.

  Cursing to himself under his breath, he straightened up, and was about to line up the next shot on the table when he heard a giggling sound coming from behind him. He whirled around, only to encounter Elizabeth watching him with her eyes bright with amusement.

  “You seem tense, Mr Darcy,” she greeted him. “I had thought to spend some time with you, but I would not wish to add to your troubles.”

  “No, no,” he hurriedly replied, as he immediately put down his billiards cue and hastened towards her, “you have taken away all my troubles simply by being here.”

  He took her hands in his and raised them to his lips to bestow a fervent kiss. “I confess I was cursing my sister for taking you away from me, and feeling jealous of Charles and Jane for being able to spend the afternoon alone, when we could not.”

  “You poor, foolish man,” Elizabeth teased. “I have only been upstairs for a little while!”

  “Well, it seemed long enough to me,” retorted Darcy. “Did you manage to get everything done?”

  “Well, if it were up to Georgiana, I would still be upstairs discussing new furniture and colour schemes, but I assured her that the rooms are already very comfortable and I really don’t expect any major changes to be made on my account. To be honest, she seemed a little dismayed by my lack of fussiness!”

  “She cannot help it,” excused Darcy; “she has been looking forward to the announcement of our engagement ever since she first discovered how I feel about you.”

  “I had no idea how well informed she was,” remarked Elizabeth with a quizzical look.

  “I could not hide how unhappy I was in the weeks following my visit to Kent,” Darcy shrugged uncomfortably, “and eventually, once I had returned to Pemberley, she dared to broach the subject with me. Regrettably, she had misinterpreted my low moods at the time to herself; somehow, she had come to blame herself for my unhappiness, believing that I was disappointed with her for what had occurred with Wickham.”

  “Oh, poor girl!” exclaimed Elizabeth. “What a burden of guilt to carry.”

  “Yes, exactly,” replied Darcy; “so you see now why I had to tell her the truth about my feelings for you.”

  “Oh, yes, yes, of course,” replied Elizabeth at once, “though I cannot help but think she must have despised me for my cruel treatment of you.”

  “No, my love,” Darcy hastened to reassure her; “of course she did not. As a matter of fact, once Georgiana came to learn of the incredibly clumsy nature of my proposal, she soundly scolded me for it! And whilst I was still full of despair over whether I would ever be able to persuade you to consider me as a suitor, she was quietly plotting as to how she could bring us together again! So, you see, my sweet little sister is not quite so sweet as you might imagine; she has a devious mind – and a quite impressive habit of getting her own way when she really puts her mind to it!”

  “I see that I shall have a great deal to learn from your sister!” laughed Elizabeth.

  “No, I’m not sure I like the idea of that!” retorted Darcy with an expression of pretend dismay. “Dealing with my sister’s antics is one thing, but I’m not sure how I would manage if I had to cope with two wily women plotting against me!”

  “I would never plot against you, Mr Darcy,” replied Elizabeth sweetly; “not unless it was for your own good, of course.”

  Darcy smiled at Elizabeth’s typically-cheeky retort and gently cupped her face within his hands. “I have told you before, my love,” he murmured; “call me by my name.”

  “Fitzwilliam,” she amended softly.

  Hearing Elizabeth utter his first name, along with seeing the tender look in her eyes, had a strong and irresistible effect on Darcy, and he immediately leaned forward to kiss her. Elizabeth responded eagerly to his kiss, leaning closer and reaching up to wrap her arms around his shoulders – and Darcy could not help but wrap his arms around her slim waist in response and pull her tightly towards him as he deepened their kiss.

  For the moment, their mutual desire consumed them, and Darcy did not possess enough strength of will to restrain himself, nor even to inwardly rebuke himself for taking such liberties, for his willpower had finally reached the limits of its endurance and he found he simply could not hold himself back. Somewhere at the back of his mind, a nagging voice reminded him that he was once again allowing his desire for Elizabeth to cloud his usual good sense, but the temptation of holding her warm body close and of enjoying their shared, awakening passion was far too enticing to refuse. For the moment they were all alone, and on the morrow they would be separated, and so Darcy couldn’t find it in him to rebuke himself too strongly. Indeed, on this occasion, it was Elizabeth who pulled back first, though she softened the feeling of frustration which they both felt by giving him a wry smile.

  “I’m not really as well-behaved and demure as I believe I should be,” she excused with a little blush. “I’m quite sure that Jane must be behaving a lot better than I am – but then, she has always been better than me at most things. I confess that I cannot help but feel frustrated by the restrictions placed upon us at times. Now, admit it, have I shocked you with my bluntness?”

  “On the contrary, my love, you have delighted me with your honesty,” Darcy smiled, as he lightly caressed her cheek. “To be honest, I have been chiding myself on a regular basis for my licentious thoughts and my forward behaviour, and so I have to say, it it is a great relief to hear that you have been struggling as well! I was even worried that I might frighten you at times with my eagerness. You must always tell me if I ever make you feel uncomfortable with my attentions.”

  “No, you have never made me feel uncomfortable,” Elizabeth admitted, as her blush spread even further, “but I am very aware that the door is ajar behind us and that your sister might come looking for me and discover us here together.”

  “Ah, yes, Georgiana can be very difficult to dissuade once she has got a plan in her mind,” agreed Darcy with a wry look. “Indeed, no sooner had she heard about my feelings for you, than she started plotting as to how she could encourage us to spend more time together so that she might successfully gain you as a sister! She has long wanted a sister – though I knew she was fearful about the sort of woman whom I might one day marry. However, it is clear that she likes you, for as soon as she had met you, it seemed
to me that she was re-doubling her efforts!”

  “Ah, yes, I did sometimes wonder if she had ulterior motives when she spoke to me at times,” smiled Elizabeth. “She took every opportunity to sing your praises to me – not that I wasn’t perfectly happy to listen, I might add, and more than willing to learn all about your good qualities!”

  Darcy could not help but roll his eyes at his sister’s typical schemes and machinations. “I assure you that I am only flesh and blood, and not the heroic figure whom my sister will have no doubt portrayed to you. I’m afraid that I am capable of being just as foolish as the next man at times.”

  “Now that I already know!” teased Elizabeth. “Though, fortunately for you, I find your occasional bouts of foolishness to be incredibly endearing.”

  “I am relieved to hear it,” grinned Darcy, “since you have already agreed to put up with me for the rest of our lives! Indeed, I only hope that you will have patience enough to deal with both me and my sister, since I’m afraid her enthusiasm is only going to increase – and I have no doubt that she will become especially trying when I finally bring you home as Mrs Darcy.”

  Darcy noticed Elizabeth’s deep blush at his mention of her becoming Mrs Darcy, and he just hoped he hadn’t embarrassed her. Although he was more than ready for her to become his wife – in every sense – and to have her settled with him at Pemberley, he knew that the concept of married life was still a relatively new one for her and one that she could well be still adapting to.

  “So, it seems that I will have a foolish husband and an enthusiastic new sister,” Elizabeth mused.

  Although Elizabeth had responded lightly to his comment, Darcy nevertheless noticed that she had avoided meeting his eyes as she had spoken, and so he gently put his forefinger under her chin and lifted her face so that she would meet his gaze. “I will do everything I can to make you happy,” he promised earnestly. “I want you to be content here, and for Pemberley to become your home. So, if you wish to change the furniture or to organise redecorations to suit your tastes – or do anything else that might make you happy – then I want you to feel free to do so. I don’t want you to be worried about the cost; what is mine will soon also be yours.”

  To his dismay, he saw tears begin to well up in Elizabeth’s eyes in response to his words; he had only wished to reassure her and to make her feel welcome, but he belatedly wondered if his words had reminded her that she would soon be leaving her childhood home to dwell in a place that she hardly knew. However, to Darcy’s relief, his concerns was quickly dispelled by her next words.

  “Thank you,” Elizabeth responded somewhat shakily, “but you are far too kind. I don’t need new furniture or expensive things to make me happy. Just the fact that you wish to make me happy, that you wish to share your home and your life with me is enough in itself to make me more joyful than I ever knew I could be. I know I am marrying the best man I could ever wish to meet; it is you yourself who makes me count my blessings, and not the things you possess.”

  Darcy felt overwhelmed by her words; although Elizabeth had expressed her love for him on several occasions since they had been engaged, it was still a wonderful thing to hear her declare her feelings for him so earnestly. He had long been accustomed to the fact that his high status in society attracted the fawning attentions of many people, but he had never been able to abide the company of those who judged him and sought his company for his wealth and status alone – and nor had he ever wished to marry a fortune hunter. Elizabeth had never treated him with the fawning deference that he had received in the past from so many others, and he realised all over again how fortunate he was to have secured the love of a woman who loved him for himself, and not for the luxurious lifestyle that he could provide her with.

  With his heart full of such reflections, he once again lifted Elizabeth’s hand to his lips to bestow a kiss on her knuckles, and then, turning her hand over, he bestowed another on her palm and another on the inside of her wrist. He smiled to feel Elizabeth’s responding shiver, knowing full well that his caresses were affecting her. He could not help but long for the time when she would be his wife, when he would no longer have to hold himself back from demonstrating his desire for her – but he also knew that if he allowed his thoughts to stray any further up this particular path, he would be hard pressed to restrain himself from continuing. Thus, in order to keep himself under good regulation, he looked around for a suitable distraction.

  “Would you care for a game?” he asked, indicating the billiards table with a nod.

  Elizabeth grinned in response. “I’m afraid you would easily outstrip me,” she replied, “since I have never played before.”

  “But you took up the challenge of fishing, and you had never done that before,” he countered. “Surely you are not afraid of a little challenge?”

  “No, of course I am not!” retorted Elizabeth. “Very well,” she agreed with a decisive nod, “I will play a game with you – but you will have to instruct me on what to do.”

  Only too happy to comply, Darcy picked up the billiards cue, and putting his arms around her, helped Elizabeth to position it correctly in her hands. He showed her how to line up her shot – and tried not to let his imagination wander too freely as he showed her how to lean across the table in order to take aim. Nevertheless, he could not prevent the natural stirrings of his body in reaction to her close proximity, and thus his voice came out in a rather constricted tone as he watched her and instructed her on what to do. In fact, he found Elizabeth to be entirely distracting throughout their game, and his own performance suffered a great deal as a result. He tried masterfully not to show it, but even so, Elizabeth seemed to sense that she was putting him off and she teased him mercilessly about it.

  “You will never play really well, Mr Darcy, unless you practice more,” she smiled, as he missed yet another shot and grimaced to himself at his unusually poor performance.

  Darcy smiled drolly at Elizabeth’s reference to the pompous advice that his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, had previously given to her whilst they had both been staying in Kent. He knew very well that she was teasing him, and he narrowed his eyes, suddenly wondering if she had been teasing him throughout their game far more than he had initially realised. All of a sudden, he wondered if her slow – and very unsettling – movements around the table had been designed exactly to provoke and distract him. He recollected the way in which she had moved leisurely around the table as she had deliberated on her next shot, brushing close to him as she had walked past, before leaning over the table with provocative slowness.

  “I am starting to realise that I will never play really well whilst you are in the room, madam,” he countered wryly. “Just as I am starting to realise that you will make a formidable opponent in any contest that we take up together.”

  “Why, sir, whatever do you mean?” teased Elizabeth with mock affront, as she leaned over the table once again to line up her next shot. She sent him a provocative look through her lashes as she did, and suddenly Darcy couldn’t take any more. Stepping decisively around the table towards her, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her – though this time he showed no restraint and instead he gripped her fiercely to him in a possessive embrace.

  Elizabeth responded with equal fervour to his kiss and their game was immediately forgotten, and when she wrapped her arms around Darcy’s neck and ran her hands through his hair, he was hard-pressed not to respond with escalating lust. He pushed her back her against the table as he greedily ran his hands down the contours of her body, eagerly discovering every curve and every inch of her softness through the thin material of her gown. Elizabeth gasped against his lips in response to his roaming touch, and Darcy, driven to wildness by her sounds, began an exploration of her neck and collarbone with his eager kisses. Elizabeth sighed and gasped and took a fierce grip upon his shoulders as his lips wandered across her skin, before she impatiently pulled him back to her mouth to resume their heated kiss.

  Finally, h
owever, common sense reasserted itself over the both of them; they were both aware of the open door behind them and of the other people in the house who could easily walk in and see them, and so they reluctantly pulled apart from one another, breathing hard and smiling into one another’s faces. Darcy couldn’t pretend to be entirely respectable, however, and especially not when his higher vantage point allowed him to look down Elizabeth’s low neckline and view her heaving chest. Though she saw where his gaze lingered and responded by giving him a sharp dig in his ribs.

  “You are a licentious rogue, sir!” she laughed.

  “And you are a vixen!” he retorted as he rubbed his ribs, playfully pretending that she had wounded him more grievously than she had. “God knows how I shall assert any authority when you are my wife!”

  “I hate to disappoint you, Fitzwilliam, but I have no intention whatsoever of being obedient!” Elizabeth retorted, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

  “I have no doubt of that!” Darcy laughed. “In fact, I have no doubt that you will very easily wrap me around your little finger and tease me into submission – and I cannot wait for it to begin!”

  Chapter 14

  As planned, the Bennet family set off for Hertfordshire the next day – and no sooner had they returned home than they began making arrangements for the upcoming double wedding ceremony. Mr Bennet pretended to find all the female chatter about the forthcoming weddings to be utterly insufferable, but in truth he was glad to see his daughters looking so animated. He soon retired to his study, claiming that he could bear no more conversations about lace, wedding breakfasts and table decorations, but secretly he left them because such discussions were a sad reminder that his dear departed wife was no longer around to take her part in all the excitement. However, Mr Bennet’s daughters were not as unaware of his true sentiments as he might have assumed, and the sisters exchanged an unhappy look between them when he left them for the privacy of his study, knowing from long experience that his sarcastic comments were just his way of masking his deeper emotions.