My Own Island (A Blue Shore Novel)

by Wendy Silk

  Chapter 13: Alice

  The early fall colors had given way to a cold and wet November. At this time of year, we all began to get tired of the gray clouds. No longer were they a comfortable embrace from the sky, now they represented just another soppy, muddy day.

  At least, that was how I had come to anticipate November back in my old life. If I’d been teaching public school, my students would be moaning about having wet sneakers after they stepped heedlessly through puddles while running late every morning. They would have been anticipating the Thanksgiving break, eager for a chance to sleep in and forget what they’d been learning.

  Here on Whidbey Island, I found a new appreciation of the darker, wetter months. There was always the view of the water, waiting for me outside my windows every morning. The ocean lapped at the shore with a regularity that came to represent certainty in my life. The days were shorter and the walking trails that I’d begun to frequent were puddled and mucky, yes. But the slower pace of life here made those things enjoyable in a new way for me.

  Into that sense of tranquility that I relished here, into my new feeling of fitting into the nature of a place, would come my possessive, bossy, self-centered ex-fiancé. I struggled with myself about the meaning of his phone call that I had taken on the balcony that day. It had already been a day of high temper for me: I had blown up at Grant for nothing more than offering a stupid sort of male apology. I knew he was sorry that he’d ditched me. Apparently, I was going to have to ask all the men that had done that to stand in line so they could say they were sorry.

  When David called me, he caught me off guard. I confess that it was tempting to believe he wanted me back. It was most definitely pleasing to my ego to hear that Vicky had dumped him in such short order. Perhaps it was only Schadenfreude on my part, but I had very much enjoyed his story about her taking money from his bank account and running away with the drummer from the band she liked to see on the weekends.

  Today was the day that David and I had arranged for his visit to Blue Shore. I was pathetically grateful that he’d even bothered to call and set it up with me in advance. His old way would have been to just show up when it was convenient for him, then talk to me in his superior way about why I found it hard to take time off work to spend time with him. Perhaps he had changed.

  When I met him in the lobby, I had to smile. He looked like a dear friend that I hadn’t seen in months. Was it too much to think that he was exactly that? What if this was part of our journey together as a couple, in which we were meant to overcome obstacles together to find a new life? I walked quickly toward him, happier to see him that I had expected.

  “David, I’m glad you’re here.” I hugged him, aware that we hadn’t touched since the day we should have been married. It felt good to be in his arms again. I had loved him deeply enough to plan to spend my life with him. Had all those feelings vanished?

  “Alice. I shouldn’t have waited so long to come out here,” he said. “I heard from your mom that you were working here. But I didn’t want to bother you.”

  I slipped my hand easily into his. On one level of my mind, I hated myself for how I was letting him cajole me into even being on speaking terms with him, after what he’d done. But on another, I craved the feeling of couplehood that we’d once had. I pulled his hand, drawing him to the guest elevator. I knew the hotel well by this time. “David, why don’t we take your bag upstairs, and then I’ll show you around? We can order drinks at the back terrace restaurant. Or go for a walk along the shore.”

  He followed me amiably, as if we were good friends. Once we reached his room, however, he set his bag down and positioned his back against the door. He had me closed in so he could block my way when I tried to lead us out again. As he stood against the door, he reached his hand behind me and pulled me toward him for a kiss. Against my better judgement, I kissed him back. It had been a long time.

  He was not so boorish as to keep me there against my will, though. After holding my chin for a moment and looking seriously into my eyes, he stepped backward and we went together into the long, carpeted hallway. The old building was full of architectural details that always reminded me that it had been here long before me. I loved the ornate mouldings that ran along the walls and the details of mullioned transoms that separated the formal spaces. David appeared not to notice any of it. As far as he was concerned, he was merely visiting me at my place of work. The building itself was registering to him as no different than the green-painted hallways of his hospital.

  We joined the small crowd that populated the terrace restaurant. Sitting across from me, David was far more relaxed than I could have been in his shoes. I couldn’t hold myself back from asking about Vicky. “So she left you, huh?” I swear, it just slipped out.

  David must have known I would ask; he remained unruffled. “Yes, it was unfortunate. While I was at that seminar in Boston, Vicky disappeared. She left me a note explaining that she was sorry, but that it just wasn’t working out. I guess she was too young.”

  I nodded. “Yes, I thought the same thing.” The conversation was strangely offering me opportunities to say some things I’d held back for a long time. I wasn’t sure he was aware that my comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, though. Did he really think this was a normal topic for us to discuss?

  “It was odd, really, the way she decided she wanted to be with somebody else. After all, we’d been together for so long.” David cleared his throat. “I mean…”

  “Yes, I know what you mean,” I answered. This was both more fun than I’d expected, and the worst conversation I’d ever had. I moved on. “So you heard where I was from my mom? I haven’t talked to her all that much, so I didn’t know she had spoken with you.”

  David settled again in his seat, trying hard to act like a person I might like. “Oh, you know I love to chat with your mom. It had been a while, so I called her up. I told her that I was single again, and that I wanted to try to reconnect with you. She gave me your contact information right away.”

  I silently thanked my mom for what I knew was an effort to be fair to me. She had surely not approved of David trying to seek me out, but she was letting me know that the decision was mine. “I love it here,” I said. “I’m working with a student who just needed a little extra tutoring, and that’s been a real pleasure. And the island is so beautiful. I will be sorry to have to leave when my contract is up.”

  David looked at me as if he wasn’t sure if I was kidding. “Well, it certainly is the back of beyond, isn’t it? I can’t imagine how you can spend more than a week here and not go crazy from boredom. At least at home there’s the option of going into the city every day if you want to. Here, there’s just nothing.” He faltered at what he must have seen in my expression, but then continued in an even worse vein. “So who’s this kid you’re tutoring? I heard from your mom that he’s some special needs case? He refuses to talk?”

  I gritted my teeth before I answered. “No, he’s not a “case” of anything. He’s just a teenager who wants to learn, so I’m teaching him. That’s what I do, remember?”

  “Seriously, though.” David leaned forward on his elbows, appearing genuinely interested in something for the first time since we’d sat down. “I’d like to know more about the case. It’s aphasia after a TBI, but with no medical explanation? It’s purely psychiatric? Maybe I could examine him. That’s just the kind of problem I’d be interested in solving.”

  “David. He’s not a case and not a problem. He’s my student. They have already had the best medical help, and it’s really not my place--and certainly not your place--to go into any of this.”

  He smirked. “Well, they haven’t had the best medical help if they haven’t had me, right?”

  Oh my. He was in full swing here. These were all the qualities that I’d come to be glad that I’d escaped when David dumped me. It had taken a while, but after being away from him here on the island, I was no longer used to the self-centered way he approached the world. I
needed my head examined, having agreed to sit here with this egotistic buffoon as if a second chance was possible.

  “Really, Alice, I thought you were just taking this job because you had to, financially, you know.” Some pretense of concern was seeping from his face as he directed a solicitous look at me.

  “David, are you kidding me? Are you really prepared to sit here and talk about my financial problems?” I spat at him. “You know I lost my job back home, right? Do you know how that happened?”

  He didn’t have the grace to look even the tiniest bit abashed. “Yes, I did hear about that from Vicky. I’m not sure whose idea it was. Maybe she and her mom cooked it up together. It was a shame, I can see that, from your perspective. She always was good at getting what she wanted.”

  I stared at him, incredulous that I’d ever loved him. “Stop. Just stop it. You’re being insufferable. The ‘financial problems’ you’re referring to are my debts from our wedding. You know that, right?”

  “Yes, I knew those bills were adding up when you made all those plans. Surely you remember that I tried to talk you out of making it such a big thing, but you said it was important to you. Those are your debts, Alice. You made those choices about the venues and the flowers. You hardly let me get a word in edgewise. And, hey, you took that honeymoon trip without me. So it makes sense that you’d still be paying for it.”

  I stood, trying to relax my arms at my sides so I didn’t reach forward and flip the table and its contents over on him. “I feel like I’m paying for it in just spending a few minutes with you right now.”

  “Oh, Alice, always so emotional. Look, you said you liked this job. I can’t think why, but whatever. I certainly couldn’t be expected to pay for all that wedding stuff you bought. I don’t need a big white dress. And seriously, I have expenses already. I just bought a boat, did you know? I’m keeping it at a marina that one of the other guys at the hospital told me about. Maybe I could show it to you sometime, take you out for the day. Would you like that?”

  I opened my mouth and left it hanging open long enough that my mom would have said I ran the risk of catching flies. David was still sitting down, looking confident and prosperous while I stood above him, shaking with anger like a fishwife. It took all my self control to refrain from answering at all. I turned on my heel and left the room, hoping that none of the staff were watching us. I’d text David later to tell him to just leave. Just go. If I was lucky, I wouldn’t have to ever speak to him again.

  My steps were so quick that I reached the end of the hallway from the terrace restaurant in record time. I made my way to the penthouse elevator, brushing tears from my eyes. That meeting had been far more illuminating that I had expected. I admit that there was a tiny part of me that had hoped that David would come back and sweep me off my feet. Perhaps I had dreamed of him coming here and saying he was sorry for his terrible mistakes and offering me his undying love if I would take him back. Any woman would have had the same fantasies, right?

  The opposite had happened, in every way. David hadn’t come here to express any feelings of immortal love he had for me. He was just looking me up, thinking that maybe we could date some time. And he hadn’t come with an apology on his lips. He actually thought that everything that had happened between us was no big deal.

  Now that I knew for sure what he was really like, I could let go. Sure, some people might have been willing to let go back when he broke up with me in front of two hundred guests and admitted that he’d been cheating on me for months. But no. I guess I had still been holding onto a tiny sliver of a chance that if Vicky were out of the way, we would have a clear path to a happy future together. The release that I was feeling now was incredible. A weight was lifting from my heart, allowing me to breathe again for the first time in years. I could see now that I hadn’t been the problem. I hadn’t driven him to cheat; I hadn’t been a failure in our relationship. He was just an asshole.

  My epiphany made me smile and swing my arms with a cheerfulness I hadn’t possessed in as long as I could remember. I bounced on the balls of my feet as I waited for the elevator. It was hardly unusual that I saw Grant exiting the small space when it stopped. After all, it was his hotel, and I was on my way up to his home. The new, freer me was able to see him with fresh eyes, however, and I liked what I saw. I beamed a wide smile at him and patted his shoulder as I passed. “Hello, Grant!” I called out. I was going to like this feeling of newfound confidence, I was sure of it.

  Chapter 14: Grant

  That was just about the weirdest interaction I’d ever had with Alice, and there were some pretty good contenders in there. She breezed right by me as if she was the happiest person in the universe. I had never seen her so relaxed. She even forgot to glower at me, which was something that hadn’t happened in a while.

  I knew she was meeting David here at the hotel today, of course. Toby and I had agreed that today and tomorrow would be purely vacation days for her, with no need to check in with us at all. Certainly, she was entitled to weekends off anyway, but she had grown so close to Toby that she often touched base with him about his studies on any evening of the week, just as a parent would. She had developed the habit of spending time relaxing with us in the living room as well. I had encouraged her to do that from the beginning, but it took a while before she felt that she could be there without intruding on our family time. Honestly, I was working so many evenings these days that I was glad she was there to be such good company for Toby.

  Anyway, I had promised myself that I would not get involved in any way with her visitor. I knew it wasn’t my business. Maybe I thought she was insane for entertaining the idea of taking him back. Maybe. But nobody could call me an unbiased observer. If she loved him, and if she could overlook all that he had put her through, well then perhaps they were meant to be together. This had all sounded great in my head last night.

  Now, I had to face the fact that I’d never seen Alice so happy. My heart hurt as I considered that. Just a short time with him had put a smile on her face that was so broad it was like nothing I’d ever seen. Even when we’d been together in the Caribbean, having what I still remembered as pretty amazing sex, she’d never looked so happy. Damn it.

  I could find him, I was sure of it. My hotel was like an extension of me. I could locate him wherever he might be in this place. If Alice was coming from the first floor, I’d put my money on the notion that they had been sitting down together for a meal. She’d invite him to the terrace restaurant; it was her favorite. Yes, he was there. I spotted him sitting alone at a table for two. She probably didn’t remember it, given her condition that night, but Alice had shown me a social media photo of him when we were at the resort. He looked just as pompous in person.

  I knew I shouldn’t, but I found myself crossing the room to speak with him. It went against the specific promise I’d made to Alice, but it looked like I was going to do it anyway.

  “Hello,” I said to him, as I stood with my hands resting lightly on Alice’s vacated chair. “I’m Grant Bedloe, the owner of the hotel.”

  “Aha!” David responded. He was not slow, I’d give him that. “So you are Alice’s employer?”

  “Yes, that’s right. She’s here to tutor my brother.”

  “I hope you’ll be able to get along without her soon,” David said. “I’m hoping to convince her to come back with me. She’s been here long enough. I think she believes she’s escaping from reality, out here in the boonies. No matter how afraid she might be of the real world, that’s no excuse to hide away here in the sticks, where nothing interesting will ever happen to her. God, what a bunch of hayseeds.”

  I did not let my irritation show. Years of professional training served me well as I engaged in civil discourse with this boor. “Ah, yes. I do hear from her that she loves the scenery here. The island is special to many people. But you say you think she may be planning to leave with you?”

  David smirked. “She might not know it yet. But I’ve got her right w
here I want her. I’m sure of it.”

  I reflected, sadly, that he was probably right. Judging from the elation I had seen on her face, Alice was happier with David now than she had ever been. I chose my words carefully. “Well, I hope she won’t be leaving us any time soon. It’s true that my brother will soon be off to college. But Alice has a place at the hotel as long as we’re here. I know she helps out at the front desk sometimes; the receptionist is a great friend of hers. Everybody here is. As long as Blue Shore Hotel is in business, we’ll be glad to have Alice with us.”

  David murmured an answer. It was something so pretentious that I didn’t bother listening. I merely nodded and turned politely away from him to go about my other duties. I found that I meant what I had said. I did wish that she would stay forever. What I didn’t realize was that for somebody like David, my words had been tantamount to a challenge.

  I saw little of David over the course of the next day, which I had understood from Alice was the entire length of his stay. She was nowhere to be seen, either. Toby mentioned that he thought she was walking the upper trails a lot these days, but I wasn’t sure that David was the kind of guy who would want to do that. I would not have thought it possible to cross paths so rarely with him, unless he spent his entire visit in his room.

  The exception to that was the morning after I spoke with David at the terrace restaurant. I was meeting with vendors in the back conference rooms, and I thought I saw Alice’s fiancé engaged in serious conversation with Ed, one of my assistant managers. I wasn’t sure if Alice still thought of David as her fiancé, but I cautioned myself that I probably should.