Better When He's Bold

by Jay Crownover

  “Nothing is up with anything. Race is just someone I know through a mutual friend. Why?”

  He shrugged, obviously going for nonchalant and failing miserably. He lifted a hand and rubbed the back of his neck while looking at the ground between his feet.

  “She just mentioned that you seemed pretty entranced by him, and last I heard, you weren’t interested in anybody.”

  It wasn’t any of his business, and this line of questioning didn’t seem nearly as harmless as he wanted it to come across.

  “I’m not, and if I was, it wouldn’t be any concern of yours, Drew.”

  He put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me to a stop. I looked up at him, ready to tell him to step off and mind his own business, when he gave me a sad smile.

  “Look, I know you and I aren’t going to be a thing, you’ve made that pretty clear. But I like you and I care about you, so you need to know that Race Hartman is nothing but bad news.”

  I already knew that, but it bothered me to hear a guy like Drew, a guy who had no idea what the world looked like outside of the Hill, say it about him.

  “Race is Race. I have no illusions about what kind of guy he is.”

  Drew sighed and let his hand fall off my shoulder. “He’s a criminal, a gangster. He has people beaten up that owe him money and takes their cars for collateral if they can’t pay. People say he was the one that set Novak up and that he did it so he could take over the black market Novak ran.”

  I knew all of that and more because I was friends with Dovie and couldn’t ignore it when she had been right in the thick of it.

  “People have to do what they need to in order to survive, Drew. Not everyone has a full-ride scholarship or comes equipped with rich parents able to fund a college education.”

  He reared back and narrowed his eyes at me.

  “Well, since you’re so tight with him, then you know that’s not the case with Race. His parents have more money than God, and he had a trust fund that could buy and sell this university a hundred times over. He picked that life. He chose to be a criminal. He had all the same opportunities as the rest of us, he just squandered them and sank into the black hole of the Point.”

  I doubted it was as easy as that, but this wasn’t a conversation I felt like I needed to be having anymore. I spent too much time having to force Race out of my mind as it was; I didn’t need to be arguing about him with anyone else in my life.

  “I think the way things look on the surface is always misleading. Passing judgment based on rumor and speculation isn’t a smart thing to do, and like I said, none of it matters, Race and I are just acquaintances.” I shifted my bag on my shoulder and took a step back. “I have to go to my next class.”

  He gave me a concerned look that I turned my back on and walked away from. I knew all about things on the outside hiding the real, ugly truth of the way things were once you got past the front door. I didn’t know Race well enough to try and judge the choices he made or the life he was living, but I was smart enough and intuitive enough to know that there was more to the story, deeper circumstances at work, than what people gossiped and speculated about.

  My next two classes, both of which I had high A’s in, flew by and I was rushing across the sprawling campus to meet Dovie for a quick cup of coffee. Now that she no longer worked at the restaurant where we had met waitressing, it was hard to sneak in time to hang out. I spotted her bright, orange-ish-red hair with no problem and threw myself into the chair across from her. She already had a drink waiting for me because it was just in her nature to be that generous and sweet.

  She smiled at me, the freckles on her nose wrinkling up, and her eyes, the exact same forest green as Race’s, twinkling at me. Being in love with an unholy terror looked good on her, there was no denying it.

  “Hey.”

  I had to grin back. “Hey. You look happy.”

  She blushed a little; there was no hiding it with that fair redhead complexion.

  “I am. What about you? How are things going?”

  Ugh. Like they had been for the last year. I shrugged a shoulder and let it fall. “Okay, I guess. I have an evil teacher’s assistant out to ruin my GPA, I almost got shot this weekend, and I got a weird text message on Saturday night after that party. Things at the restaurant are about the same . . . and things at home . . .” All I could do was shake my head. “I just have to wait until Karsen is out of the house.”

  She cocked her head and concern colored her mossy-toned gaze. “Jeez, Brysen, that’s a load of stuff.”

  I laughed drily and fished out my laptop so I could take a look at what I had due tomorrow and what I needed to work on after my shift tonight. “Yeah.”

  “What kind of weird text did you get?”

  That was the part she was going to pick out of the shit storm that was my current circumstances?

  “Just some creeper telling me I looked pretty and that they were sorry they missed me.”

  She frowned, her coppery eyebrows dipping low over her eyes. “That’s freaky. You didn’t recognize the number?”

  “Nope, and I have turned down plenty of weirdos that ask me out either here on campus or at the restaurant that would love nothing more than to mess with me. It’s pretty easy nowadays to find someone’s number on the Internet if you’re determined enough.”

  “I don’t like that at all, Bry.”

  Considering she had been kidnapped, cut up, and used as a pawn by Novak to get Bax to behave, I bet she didn’t, but those kinds of things didn’t happen in my world.

  “It was probably just a prank, or meant for someone else. It just annoyed me because of the way the party ended. Gunshots are terrifying when you experience them in person.”

  She bit her lip and didn’t agree or disagree with me. I entered my password and then froze. The screen was blue . . . not good. I looked up at Dovie over the monitor and tried to keep from screaming.

  “My laptop has a blue screen.”

  She blinked and got up to walk around the side of the table so she could look at it.

  “Uh-oh.”

  I gulped and turned it off and started it back up. Still ugly, glaring blue.

  “Shit.”

  She squeezed my shoulder. “That’s bad.”

  “You have no idea. My entire college life is in there. My paper due tomorrow, all my notes, and if I want any kind of shot at passing Math Theory, I need everything that the blue screen just swallowed. This can’t be happening.”

  I barely resisted throwing the entire thing on the floor and tap-dancing all over the pieces.

  “You can probably recover the stuff on the hard drive.” She was trying to sound optimistic, but it wasn’t helping.

  “Well, that’s one problem that might be solved, but I can’t afford a new computer.” I didn’t mean to say it, it just slipped out.

  Dovie had been to the house; she knew that at one point in time my parents had been pretty well off. It sounded dumb, not having money for a new computer when I lived in a nice suburb and drove a BMW, but the truth was I HAD to keep my job at the restaurant if I wanted to keep my car, if I wanted to finish my degree. There was no more money. Between Mom’s medical bills and whatever Dad was doing in the stock market, we were lucky to still have lights on in the house.

  “And I don’t have the time or the energy to try and fit in a second job to pay for one. This sucks.”

  I shoved my fingers through my hair and rubbed the heels of my palms into my temples. All that stuff I shoved down on a day-to-day basis rose up in the back of my throat, threatening to choke me. Really, how much more could one person be expected to endure? Why was the universe trying to break me?

  “Can I offer a suggestion?”

  I looked up at her and she was twisting one of her curls around her fingers, a telltale sign she was nervous. I knew I wasn’t going to like whatever she had to say.

  “Sure, as long as it doesn’t involve me working a corner in the District.”

  The D
istrict was the part of the Point where girls a lot younger than me practiced the oldest job in the world. It was where men went to have a good time and spend money on women who would forget them as soon as they had that same money in hand. I had never actually been to that part of town, but it was legendary and really the last resort for too many.

  She smacked the back of one of my hands when I put them back on the table, and scowled at me. “Stop being ridiculous. Look, I know you and Race aren’t exactly buddies.” She paused and I rolled my eyes. Of course we weren’t buddies. I couldn’t be buddies with someone I wanted to strip naked and crawl all over. “But he is good, like scary good, with computers. You could ask him to look at it for you. I bet he could fix it, no problem.”

  Great. A solution that would be financially helpful, but would test my already-frayed resistance where her golden god of a brother was concerned. Like I stood a chance after that kiss. I grumbled under my breath and threw my hands up in surrender.

  “Give me his number and I’ll call him.”

  She made a face. “It’s not exactly that easy to get ahold of him anymore. He has a bunch of different numbers for the different things he’s into, and he doesn’t check his personal phone that much because, really, I’m the only one that calls him on it. I’ll just tell him to swing by the restaurant and have a look at it for you.”

  Again, irrefutable proof that I had no business crushing on Race Hartman. I had no clue what to do with a guy who had to have multiple cell phones to run his different criminal ventures out the back door.

  “All right. If you think he wouldn’t mind.”

  She smiled again. “He won’t mind. He’ll do it because I’m asking him to, but he likes you. He always has.”

  “How is that possible? I’ve never encouraged him in any way.” In fact, I went out of my way to discourage him at every turn.

  She smirked at me and grabbed her bag and her phone. “Race is a difficult guy to explain. The choices he’s made, the things he’s decided to take on . . .” She trailed off and shrugged helplessly. “He isn’t scared of a challenge, scared of working his way around obstacles. Look at his best friend. Bax never trusted anyone, never let anyone matter, except for Race. He’s just the kind of guy who works his way into where he wants to be.”

  Well, shit. That didn’t bode well for me being able to keep his charm and allure at arm’s length, but I didn’t have a choice. I really couldn’t afford a new computer.

  “Shoot me a text after you hear from him to let me know when to expect him.”

  She nodded and gave me a hug. She smelled like sunshine and something bright. I don’t know how someone who had been continually beaten down, handed the worst life had to offer over and over again, could be so delightful. She was a marvel and I felt really lucky that she liked me enough to let me into her closely guarded inner circle.

  “Thanks, Dovie.”

  She snorted. “Don’t thank me until you know if he can actually fix it or not. Blue screens usually mean death when it comes to computers.”

  I wished she hadn’t reminded me. I put my stuff away as well and climbed to my feet. I had to head over to the restaurant and get ready for my shift.

  “Well, still, thanks for thinking of a solution I can actually afford.”

  We walked toward the center of the campus and she stopped me with a hand on my forearm right before we had to split and go our separate ways.

  “Look, Brysen.” Her dark green eyes were serious and steady. “You took me in without asking questions when my life was a mess. You’ve always been nice, never pried or asked questions I couldn’t or wouldn’t answer. If you need some help, let me know.” Her gaze shifted to the ground then back up to me. “I don’t have a lot, but Bax does, and he’ll hand it over without question if I want it.”

  She was going to make me cry. I reached out and gave her one last squeeze. “No, I’m fine. I just have to bide my time. We all have to make sacrifices, I guess.”

  She was willing to risk life and limb and even her freedom in order to stay with her man. I was willing to sacrifice my independence—my vision of what I thought my life would be—for my sister.

  I made my way to the car and drove to the restaurant I had worked at for almost two years. It hovered right on the edge of the Point and the Hill, so there was an odd mix of customers we served. I made decent money, and I liked that it was close to school and offered me a break from the stress at home and the opportunity to meet people I probably never would’ve otherwise.

  I went into the back bathroom and switched into the tiny black skirt and too-tight black T-shirt that constituted as my uniform. Really, as long as we wore all black, the owner didn’t care how we dressed, but I had learned real quick that the sexier the outfit, the redder the lipstick, the shinier my hair looked, the more money I brought home from the shift. It was so “unevolved,” so sexist, that it galled, but I needed every single penny I could put my hands on, and looking hot was a surefire way to get it.

  I mean, I wasn’t anything that special. I had nice skin and big blue eyes, but a pretty blonde was a dime a dozen, and there was nothing I had going on that made me stand out in a crowd. I think the fact that I was naturally curvy, not too tall, not too short, but endowed in all the right places and then some, really was what most of my recent admirers had been after. I had a rocking body and had no trouble exploiting that fact if it meant I kept my head above water financially and didn’t have to resort to grinding on a pole or paying the bills on my back.

  I fluffed up my asymmetrical bob, spritzed on some perfume, and hit the floor running. It was “Thirsty Thursday,” so that meant the place would be packed with a lot of kids from the university headed in different directions to drink the night away. The clubs on the Hill offered expensive martini bars and high-end dance clubs. The places kids went in the Point were all underground. You had to know someone that knew someone to even find out where they were. I heard the stories of the drugs, the bloody fights, the thumping music, and “anything goes” atmosphere. I had even been to one once with Dovie when she had been tricked into going just so she would have to watch Bax get the crap pounded out of him by a drugged-up monster. I didn’t fit in either place, so it was no skin off my nose that I could work the crowd and make money off either taste while they pre-gamed. Really, it was the story of my life. Too poor to belong up on the Hill, and too rich to fit in with the hard-knock life of the Point. I just existed somewhere in the middle of everything.

  I was running like crazy for the first few hours. Ramon, the bartender, was taking forever with the drinks, and the kitchen crashed more than once while the tickets piled up. I was pretty organized and had impeccable time-management skills, so it all went pretty smooth. By the time I got to take a breather and find a second to shove a taco in my face before the next wave, I was surprised when Ramon wandered over to the service area, where I was hiding with a bemused expression on his face.

  “Hey.”

  I wiped sour cream off my chin and lifted an eyebrow at him.

  “What’s up?”

  “Were you planning on meeting someone here tonight?”

  I frowned and pulled my phone out of my bra, where I stashed it looking to see if Dovie had sent me a message about Race. There was nothing, just a message from Karsen asking me to bring her home some ice cream.

  “No. Why?”

  He lifted his elegantly groomed eyebrows and clicked his tongue at me. “There was this guy at the bar. He kept looking around and looking around. I asked him like five hundred times if I could help him with anything but he just ordered a soda and sat at the bar. I saw you come out of the kitchen with an order and so did he. I watched him watch you for a minute then he got up and left. I thought maybe it was a friend or something.”

  I felt my jaw drop and I blinked at him like an idiot. “What did he look like?”

  Considering Ramon liked the fellas way more than I did right now, I figured he would have a spot-on description for m
e, but he shrugged.

  “Nothing special. In fact, it was weird, like he was trying to blend in. He had on glasses and a hat, like he was trying to look different. He didn’t say anything to anyone either.”

  I felt a chill race up my spine and suddenly my taco tasted like dirt in my mouth. Sure, there were creepy guys that came in and tried to hit on me and gave me the lurking looks, but a weirdo who didn’t say anything, combined with that strange text message, had me totally freaked out.

  “That’s weird.”

  Ramon nodded. “It was very odd.”

  “If you see him again can you let me know?”

  “Sure thing. Maybe you need to wait and have someone walk out with you.”

  I shivered again and numbly agreed. My phone went off and I groaned when I saw Dovie’s message.

  He’ll be there at close. Wait for him.

  Could life hand me anything else difficult and covered in thorns to work my way through? I was starting to doubt it.

  I texted back that that was fine and went to work the later crowd that filtered in right before we closed the kitchen down every night. I was hypervigilant, my eyes shifting all across the restaurant. I didn’t like the idea of some lurker hanging around watching me, liked it even less with the weird text messages still floating around in the back of my mind. I tended to think I could take care of myself, I was smart and considered myself savvy, but I had never actually had to put that theory to the test. It was a frightening thought.

  By the time my last table finished and I was done doing the side work and my cash out for the night, I was tired and stressed out. I was ready to change back into my normal clothes, get my sister some ice cream, and go home . . . well, not so much the last part, but still.

  I twisted my hair up out of my face in the front, changed back into my jeans, and shoved my uniform into my purse to take it home to wash. Ramon still had a straggler at the bar and all the guys in the kitchen were busy cleaning or just ignoring me, so it looked like I was walking out to the car to grab my computer by myself. I really wished the idea didn’t have the hair on the back of my neck standing on end, and I was secretly disappointed that Race wasn’t already here to accompany me on the trek.